Catching Up

 It has been a couple of weeks since last writing, and I need to do some catching up on myself as it is warranted.  Luckily today is a slow day at school, as my students are in what is called MAP testing for the majority of the day.  Therefore, there are a few things I wanted to catch up and reflect upon since opportunity allows.

To begin, the final part of my doctoral journey arrived Monday - I have a complete set of doctoral regalia now.  It feels good to have that, and now I feel like a Ph.D.   With the diploma, dissertation, and regalia, and almost a year to get it all, I feel complete.  I also was able to get my article submitted to the academic journal and it should be up for publication soon.  Having three published articles and a conference presentation will go far in my pursuits of opportunities.

The second thing to talk about is my music collection.  I have decided to include all the music I want to preserve on a very large flash drive - it has 124 gigs storage - and so far I have a MASSIVE collection that I have both gleaned from other drives as well as downloading from Internet Archive - there are several large collections of original recordings of many obscure dance orchestras on there, and I downloaded a significant number of them.  It doesn't totally replace my entire CD collection I lost, but it is a good start.  My plan with my music collection now is to just get CD reissues of some of my favorite original LPs that are not available as downloads, and this third incarnation of my music collection will be a lot smaller but still substantial.  I won't go through the extensive cataloging system I had before either, because frankly I don't need to now. I have literally shelves of original recordings now within a device that comfortably fits in the palm of my hand.  Technology advances, and I guess I need to keep up.

I also want to talk about dreams again.  I have done extensive discussions over the years about dream interpretation, as I believe that dreams are significant.  Unfortunately a huge number of resources on the market on this topic are often done by occult/New Age writers who get a lot wrong, and what I aim to do is develop a Christian understanding of dreams as they are also a prominent thing in Scripture as well.  Understanding and writing down dreams is something I feel is integral to one's emotional and spiritual health, as God uses dreams to talk to us sometimes.  That being said, I wanted to share a recent dream I had which really has stuck with me.

In the dream, I was in what looked like a facility with my house nearby, and a little girl of about 7 or 8 was up for adoption.  She was of Mongolian heritage in the dream, and she was such a tiny, dainty little thing and so beautiful.  I was ready to adopt her, and was in the process of doing so.  As I recall, in the story the little one was more or less abandoned by her parents, and she was somehow believing they were coming back for her.  However, in the dream I was talking to the office clerk who informed me her parents returning was something that wasn't going to happen, and she encouraged me to adopt the little one. The girl at first was hesitant, as she was still thinking her parents would miraculously show up, but in time my heart was warmed when she called me "Daddy."  I really felt connected to that little girl, and I felt a deep love for her as if she were my own.  There most certainly is something to a vivid dream like that, and upon researching it, I learned the following things:

1. New beginnings and change

2. A desire to nurture and care

3. Embracing the unknown

4. A strong desire for family or love

5. Expression of desires or needs I may not be consciously aware of

6. Assuming new responsibilities

In many of these instances, all of this has happened in the past 6 months or so as I have been forced for one thing to embrace the unknown and assume new responsibilities.  I also do want family, and I would love to have something to nurture as my own.  There are also things I know I am not aware of but my dreams bring that to the surface of my subconscious. And, the whole idea of new beginnings and change is something I have been forced to embrace over the past 5 years, as I have been in a constant state of flux.  There are some of these areas I am aware of but cannot discuss them as the time is not right for them here, but my goal is to reflect upon that when it comes to pass later and then share it.  However, these dreams are not an accident nor are they simply a reaction to the pizza I had for dinner yesterday. On the contrary, they both reflect real feelings but also may contain a message.  It is up to me to determine what that is now. 

This week's reflection is somewhat eclectic and brief, but it summarizes what has been going on.  I should be back again next week with further insights on things, so thanks for stopping by and will see you soon. 

Making Some Reflections

 I am writing twice this week as it is a slower week.  Today at school we are just having parent/teacher conferences virtually and we have a slow timeslot now.  But, that gave me some impetus for refleciton today so allow me to ramble as I share.  

From this fourth-floor vantage where my classroom window is, I have a panoramic view of everything.  If I look west, there is the skyline of downtown Baltimore.  If I look east, the glittering golden domes of St. Michael Church, a Byzantine Ukrainian Catholic parish, catch the rays of sunlight which intensify the golden splendor of the beautiful onion-shaped domes of the church.  Looking south, there is a nice view of the Inner Harbor, which if you go straight down Chester Street here will take you there.  A variety of boats of different sizes are hitched to docks down on the harbor, and in the distance the huge smokestacks of a factory can be seen.  While the weather is hazy this morning, it is the first day of Spring and thankfully the chilliness of the winter is a distant memory (at least for now - March can still have the potential of a big snow if one should come into the area).  Although I am battling a cold right now - my throat thankfully is not as scratchy but the stuffiness of my nose is still a thing and the unmistakeable histamine smell is lingering in my nostrils - I am able to function OK and the fact we have a relatively light day here helps a lot.  Let me now just vent a bit.

Teaching high schoolers is not for the faint of heart - while many of them are decent kids, there are disruptive troublemakers who can be a major headache for all of us as teachers. Having a break from some of them is a huge help for us, and it helps the teachers to refocus too.  While it is short-lived (Monday class is back in session) the breaks are refreshing and welcomed.  Many students get a skewered idea of what a teacher thinks - they seem to think we are just chomping at the bit to flunk them or write them up for bad conduct.  In reality, that is not the case.  We want all of our students we are challenged with educating to succeed, but when some slack off in their studies or act up like petulent children in class, they make things harder for themselves.  As I am on the verge of surviving my first year as a full-time educator, it has been a bit of hit-and-miss for me.  I know I am not perfect, and on occasion I may lose composure with students that push my buttons.  Also, given I was thrown into this in the middle of a quarter, I have had to wing the lesson plans somewhat and that has taken some adjustment as well.  However, it also is giving me some lessons to learn for next year too, and as I get ready to navigate the 79 high school juniors I teach in five classes to the finish line over the next couple of months, I am making mental notes of what I could do better, what I have done that is effective, and also I always keep an eye open for new ideas.  The classes I have next year will be different students, with completely different personalities, and it will take understanding them to deal with them as well.  But, at least this year I have managed to gain some insights and I can apply those to my next group in the coming academic year. 

Sitting in faculty meetings tends to be enlightening as well.   One very good idea this school has is that our grade-level and departmental faculty groups meet together fairly regularly, and they are often very productive meetings.  However, you notice things too from your fellow teachers.  Some teachers, for instance, are complaining about problem students in one class who in my classes are generally not an issue.  Likewise, I have problem students who do well conduct-wise with other teachers.  One unfortunate trap we as educators fall into though is not being able to recognize things such as learning disorders or other issues the students may face.  I know of at least one student I have who is autistic, and another one I am thinking struggles with dyslexia.  Both are Black kids, and I note similar issues with them that other teachers have too.  However, knowing the complexities of things like autism and dyslexia makes a teacher more effective at reaching those students, and while it is easy to dismiss these kids as lazy, apathetic, or something else, patterns should be noted and investigated, as there may be an underlying cause.  If a teacher can successfully identify that root issue, a plan can be formulated which will capitalize more on the student's strengths and less on their perceived complications.  A good guidance counselor at a school can be an asset in this area as well.  We as teachers don't have the capacity to diagnose learning disabilities, but we can raise awareness of the potential and work with school authorities and the parents to find ways to sort through the issue.  Therefore, if a student displays certain patterns, it should be documented and then recommended for further inquiry with the proper sources.  

As can be seen, we are in the process of developing a pedagogy or an educational philosophy.  An approach based on empathy balanced with discipline will definitely go a long way.  If the student don't appreciate the teacher at the time, they may later.  The biggest and most pleasant surprise is in the future when a former student approaches you and tells you what an impact you had on them, especially when you did not feel at the time you accomplished anything.  Thank you for allowing me to share. 

The Settling Into Routine

 I have done a fairly detailed chronicle of my journey since last October, and in all honesty, it is an adventure I overall do not care to repeat.  After almost 6 months of feeling very unsettled, similar to a fish out of water, I am finally in the vernacular "finding my groove" as it were.  A couple of trips to the storage facility Barbara and I share in West Virginia has reunited me with much of my personal paperwork and some other things I needed, and we are not quite done yet.  At the present time, the storage unit still holds about 50% of our stuff, so it will be some time yet before total restoration happens.  But, at least now it is feeling better than it did. 

As I mentioned as well, two weeks ago today Barbara moved into the room next to mine, and for the first time in several months we are again under the same roof.  While people may find the relationship Barbara and I have odd (it baffled the Dominican friar at the church when we told him of us last week), it works for us.  We are no longer married obviously, but we are still close and still good friends and that speaks much of a level of maturity on our part.  It is bad mythology to assume that a divorced couple has to hate each other's guts, and in all honesty it is something that society has bought into contributing to its own detriment.  Divorce is tragic in any circumstance admittedly, but life happens - and so does divorce.  Barbara and I thought years ago that we would be married no matter what, yet we ended up doing the unthinkable and divorcing after almost 28 years of marriage. We don't blame each other for it happening, as we were neither totally at fault nor were we totally perfect either.  In many cases, we were victims of circumstance - being pushed by a Pentecostal cult into a marriage when we were not ready for it, and then allowing divisive in-laws to get into our business and cause further trust issues.  When it was all said and done though, Barbara and I are much better friends than we ever were spouses, and we both see that now.  And, that bears further reflection.

Barbara and I are both feeling much better about being back under the same roof again - we both felt a loss and it was difficult for both of us over the past several months.  We are like a brother and sister, as we look out for each other, pool our resources, and generally what we have makes more practical sense given the circumstances.  Many people have applauded us for our state right now, and many are initially shocked but then see how good it works for us and then they are fully supportive.  And, it perhaps is saving both our lives on many levels.   Barbara has unfortunately faced some major health issues in the past several months, and perhaps my being close by may actually be a good thing for her.  Likewise, I am not getting any younger, and a little extra help benefits me as well.  As odd and unorthodox an arrangement that we have is, it works out beautifully, and we are doing better because of it.  For those who would seek to be condemnatory and judgmental, you already know what you can do with yourselves although I am too civil to say it here.  

Part of the resettling of our lives entails getting back some things we thought we had lost.  The crazy circumstances of our move from Hagerstown created a situation for us that tested every fiber of our beings, but we survived and prevailed.  We have had to adjust some things, but nothing too earthshaking.  The idea of surviving vs. thriving comes into consideration here, and I have to say that I have thrived against the odds.  There are days I still have to come to terms with things, but as life starts to fall into place, I must look at this as a new chapter God has opened in my life.  

I am uncertain where things will end up in the long term, but I at least have secure work, Barbara too now has a better home, and as the dust settles a new life is taking shape.  Perhaps when I write in a year I will have a new dimension to the story to share.  God's will and timing will tell. 

Thanks again for allowing me to share my thoughts this week, and I will be back soon. 

Settlement and Restoration

 The past week has had its challenges, but it also has been more satisfying.  Barbara has rented the vacant room in the house now, so she is back under the same roof.  It is actually quite refreshing to have her back in the house, as we are close friends and it gives a dimension of normalcy to what has been an otherwise upside-down several months.  As Barbara gets settled, new routines have been established, as well as bringing back some old ones that benefitted both of us in the past.  It has been wonderful, for instance, to not have to commute on that cursed #21 bus to work every morning.  I still have to take the bus home in the afternoon, but that is much more manageable.  It also means being able to sleep in a half hour later than I used to.  Some other restorative measures have happened as well that in reality have made me feel a little more whole again, so I will get into those now.

My music collection, as many of you who have been following me a long time know, is a very integral part of who I am.  I have collected vintage big band recordings for the better now of 43 years, and for a time I amassed what was perhaps the largest collection I could have dreamed of.  However, with the sudden move last October, I lost a considerable amount of my collection although I did maintain my more important LP sets, which are safe in a storage unit in Martinsburg at this point. However, due to the shock of losing so much, I haven't paid much attention to my music interest over the past few months, as it was a devastating loss to not have a huge majority of the impressive collection it had taken me the better of 30 years to accumulate.  However, thanks to new 21st century technology, I have discovered a new format that allows me to recoup a lot of the old collection in a compact form - the flash drive.  A couple of days ago, I received in the mail a small flash drive containing over 4800 recordings covering a 40-year period between 1900-1940, and much of it was material I had once had in my massive CD collection.  I am able to carry what once was half my library in the palm of my hand, so that was a revolutionary thing.  I have four more of those coming the next week which will add some vintage radio broadcasts (including "Spotlight Bands," "GI Jive," and "One-Night Stand") as well as complete libraries of both Harry James and Guy Lombardo.  I also managed to obtain at a good price two Time-Life CD collections - one is the vintage "Big Bands" series that had originally been released in the early 1980s (I had the Glenn Miller volume on LP back then) and the other is a large collection called "Your Hit Parade" which covers essentially every significant song between the years 1940 and the early 1960s.  Along with the LPs I have in storage (including the two HUGE Franklin Mint sets I was able to salvage), I have a good start to rebuilding what was once an impressive music collection.  I think this time though I will focus on things I really want and not be as comprehensive, except on the drives maybe (I can create my own flash drives too of a lot of original stuff, as it is readily available on both YouTube and Internet Archive).  I may get a few more CDs of things I want outside the genre (namely some classical collections like Igor Stravinsky, as well as some Gospel and liturgical recordings like those I once had), but we'll get to that later.   This new incarnation of my music collection - the third - will be smaller but more focused.  I don't think it is feasible to recover every recording I had before, as I invested many years and thousands of dollars getting those.  But, I can still have a collection I can enjoy for years to come. 

A couple of trips to storage in Martinsburg - one this Friday - have also been reuniting me with much of my personal papers and other things that are significant, and now that I have those back, the challenge is organization.  Due to my smaller living quarters, I do not have near the space I used to have so I have some logistical challenges to overcome.  But, I have managed before, so this is no different.  With Barbara being here now, it means a lot of new opportunities including being reunited with so much of our stuff which we have had to resort to storing in a facility almost 100 miles away.  

As I conclude this week's reflections, I am still in a state of transition, but I am also starting to see some positives as I begin to settle for the first time in a while.  That frankly feels good, and I am hoping to see more of that happen as time progresses.  Thank you for letting me share this week, and I will see you next time. 

New Horizons

 This is now March - the month came in like a wooly lion; cold in the morning but significantly warmer during the day.  And, with this being Ash Wednesday, it means Lent is upon us.  There is much to think about as we officially cross the first quarter of 2025, and I had a few things to reflect upon today.

To begin with, I mentioned that my ex-wife Barbara and I are still very close despite not being married any longer.  She made a good decision lately to move to Baltimore, as she has been facing some challenges and she needed something of a breakthrough.  Just keep her in your prayers.  

Secondly, last week was an exciting week too.  As I was walking over to the Royal Farms store across from the school one day to get my morning coffee and pastry, it was inescapable to see a huge dead rat, with a morbid grin on its face, lying right in the middle of the sidewalk.  And, as is the case with a liberal Democrat-run city like Baltimore, it has been two weeks now and that rat is still there.  You would think they would clean that stuff up due to disease and such, but they didn't.  Looking at that rat though made me think of something pretty profound, and I wanted to share that today.

Having gone through some profound changes over the past year in my own life, there are still lots of things to process.  While I am a lot more financially secure than I was, I still struggle with dealing with the changes that have taken place, as they were earth-shaking and rapid.  As much as I try though, some things are like that dead rat - they are now in the past, yet they are laying there on the path with a morbid grin staring at me.  What are those?  Reminders of things I have lost, but also the memories of the trauma that facilitated those losses.  At times it can be a lot to deal with.  So, how do I deal with these feelings?  I have to think two words - new horizons.  

I am at a crossroads in life I had not anticipated - a lot of my old life as I had known it over the past 20 or more years is now gone, and in its place is a new existence.  There are many positives about a new existence in this case - thanks to this new position teaching in the Jesuit school I work at, I am probably the most financially secure I have been in years.  That is perhaps the biggest positive.  There are days though I wonder if it was worth it - that is the dead rat staring up at me from the middle of my path forward.  Seeing the urban blight in some areas of Baltimore as I commute to work and home on the city bus, dealing with obstinate minority kids in some classes I teach, and even dealing with crazy people at bus stops (more on that shortly) serve to remind me that this change happened and there is no going back.  But, there are other positives too - Barbara is now closer to me, and we do have a wonderful "new" President who is making some dramatic changes that will ultimately be good for our nation.  Thanks to President Trump, I may actually get to visit a very special person in the Philippines this summer (Lord be in that please!).  As events unfold on that I will share details later.  Let me now divert this line of thought and tell you what happened to me last week. 

Thursday I left school in the afternoon to catch my usual bus home across the street.  Generally that stop at the corner of Eastern Avenue and Chester Street is nothing spectacular - it is in front of an old boarded-up former Burger King, and while the street is busy, it is not anything earth-shaking.  But, this is the city, and you learn to anticipate the unpredictable.  At the bus stop this day, there was a woman - she looked Hispanic and in her early 60s - who was obviously indigent.  She had long matted black hair with gray streaks, and a ratty-looking winter coat.  She was hollering and flailing her arms about in a weird manner though at the bus stop, and naturally I thought maybe she was on a phone call with a Bluetooth device, as that is a common thing now.  However, she didn't have a cell phone, and instead was haranguing a group of imaginary friends that were only visible in her ill mind, and she then proceeded to start begging for money or food - she was asking if I could buy her a pizza!  I told her no, and she went back to talking to her imaginary audience without missing a beat.  One of the things she was saying in a thick accent was she was cursing Satan for grabbing her lady parts - I was like "ooookayyy!!" when I heard that.  She also was claiming someone in a black car was following her and trying to cast a voodoo spell or something on her.  Anyway, the bus came, I got on, and she took a seat just across the aisle from me.  She continued her crazy talk, and within ten minutes I had gotten to my transfer stop at the coffee shop on East Avenue.  Not thinking any more of it, and having a long wait to make my bus connection, I went in and had my normal cherry Italian soda - that coffee shop makes the best!  A few minutes later, here comes the crazy lady, and she is trying to beg for food.  At that point, I saw this could be a potential issue, and when the counter person refused her, she left the store.  A little bit later, I saw it was almost time for my bus to get there, so I went out.  Guess who I saw at the bus stop - yes, the crazy woman.  Nuttier than a squirrel in a Snickers factory, she was still talking to a cadre of imaginary friends.  I didn't want to deal with this person any more, so I decided to catch the bus across the street instead.  The bus I usually take home goes to Canton Crossing first and then it turns around to come back.  For some idiotic reason, if you decide to ride it down there you have to get off and then re-board the damn bus just to get back.  I wasted no time getting across the street and waiting for the bus to come - it did shortly after.  As I was boarding, I warned the bus driver that a potentially mentally-disturbed woman may try to board, and wouldn't you know it, here she came!  She got on the bus, still doing her crazy talk, and when I got to Canton Crossing I ran to get away from her as at this point I felt like she was stalking me.  But, here she came, stopping first to beg at a sandwich shop down there, and then she boarded my bus home.  I was trying to think of a strategy to deal with her if she continued riding my transfers, and decided if she got off at my stop again I would call the police and have her dealt with.  Fortunately, she dozed off, and when my stop came up at the corner of 25th and Greenmount, two blocks from my house, I was able to get off and make a hasty retreat home.  The crazy lady was still snoozing and didn't know the difference.  God only knows where she went after all that, but thankfully I got away from her as I was really starting to feel concern.  She, like that dead rat in the middle of the sidewalk, was one of those things that confronts you, and you have to find a way to deal with that.  Thankfully God was with me and I did. 

The dead rat and the crazy woman on the bus reminded me of the same thing in different ways - some things from our past remained unresolved, and there are new challenges to face in a new life.  As you read this today, think of your own challenges, and how you deal with circumstances like that.   As you do, hopefully it will lead to a greater reliance on God's provision in all situations.  Thank you for allowing me to share today. 

Walking on Eggshells

 One of the major challenges of being a teacher - especially at the high school level - is trying to maintain order.  The kids in my classes are at that age where they think they have it all figured out, and they often try to manifest it in their behavior.  This can be challenging to deal with when you have a class of about 15 juniors who choose often to be loud, disruptive, and deliberately try to cause issues.  The student who asks to go to the bathroom and then is out for most of the class.  The other student who has a penchant for being the class clown and finds ways to derail the day's class discussion. Yet others think that the fundamental rules of classroom decorum somehow don't apply to them and they try to manipulate things to their advantage.  For anyone who has taught high school, you know exactly what I am talking about.  Generally, you learn how to deal with these issues as time goes on, but then a sponsorship committee for the school you teach at shows up and they sit in on your class.  Then, the particular students who are the "problem children" are not at their best, and it doesn't look good.  That was my week so far.  In many ways, I also understand that perhaps I read too much into it, and in reality it may not be as bad as I think.  But, the craziness of the situation does cause you some discomfort - you lose sleep over it, and you start having concerns about what will happen if you lose your contract over something like that.  In most cases, that probably will not happen, as at times we tend to mentally put ourselves through stress over things that are in reality trivial matters.  Once this is realized, the overwhelming relief one feels is a feeling that is indescribable at times - it is as if a huge weight has been lifted, or that you fell off a cliff and someone with the skill of a cowboy lassos you and pulls you back before you plummet to your death. Have any of you reading this felt that before?

I teach at a Jesuit high school in Baltimore, and as part of their compliance measures they have annual visits from a variety of committees - ones dealing with Jesuit schools in general, diocesan teams, educational network people, etc.  It is natural to seek to maintain standards, and understandable that these visits are accountability measures.  But, they can also be stressful as the future of your position as well as even the future of the school could depend on what they report later.  I have dealt with review committees before - my most recent experience was my dissertation committee when I was finishing up my Ph.D. last year.  On one hand, it is a milestone, and as my Research Director for my dissertation told me, we should not view it as an inquisition but rather as an opportunity to celebrate your achievement. Maybe school committees who visit and observe should be viewed in the same way, something easy to say in theory but then a bit challenging in practice, especially when you have some students that do not want to cooperate.  

One thing I have learned about committees as well.  In many cases, when these individuals visit and observe, interview, and present findings, they are doing so as teachers themselves in many cases.  They have been where you are, they understand the challenges, and they may not be as hard on you as you are on yourself.  But, honestly, it is still unnerving.  The idea here is in this case to try to see the bigger picture, and come to the realization that your worst moments will not necessarily seal a grim fate for your career.  After all, everyone has bad days, right?  Again, this can be easier said than done, but at the same time it also should be viewed in the context of similar situations.  Also, talking to your colleagues can relieve some worries as well, as many of them are facing the same situation you are.  Maybe they can offer some advice.  One very nice thing about this school where I teach is that we have support structures in place - our subject-area department has regular meetings, as does our grade-level instructor groups.  These meetings are generally weekly or monthly, and it is a chance to voice concerns and relate to your fellow instructors regarding things that come up.  Many of them also deal with the same group of students you do, so they understand the issues you may be facing.  Therefore, groups like that can be a valuable resource. 

Onto less onerous topics, I wanted to express my satisfaction at President Trump's progress at attempting to clean up things.  He has a job ahead of him, and already the culprits who are responsible for the issues are screaming, but they are also losing.  America has been in serious need of reform for a long time - in society and in government.  Trump's new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is headed by tycoon Elon Musk, and he has already rooted out a lot of waste in government spending as well as streamlining and correcting problems caused by that waste.  Why anyone in their right minds would oppose this escapes sound logic - regardless one's political persuasion, elevating the life of our citizens while holding bureaucrats accountable should be a rallying point for almost all of us.  Yet, it is not unfortunately, and there are some in this liberal bastion called Baltimore that are actually lamenting the rein-in of corruption.  What I have to say to them is this - if you like the old way so much, then go somewhere and build your little utopia where you can have the status quo, as corrupt as it is, continue. But, if you find your quality of life gets worse, remember you wanted this, so suck it up Buttercup.  And, that leads me to some other weekly observations I wanted to note.

One major thing in the news is Pope Francis and his health.  He was hospitalized last week with double pneumonia, and at almost 89 years old, this makes him highly vulnerable.  Now, last report is that he may be in the initial stages of kidney failure as well.  I wanted to reflect on this a moment.  First, I am no fan of Pope Francis - in all honesty, he has been one of the worst Pontiffs of the Church in centuries, and he has also inflicted much damage on good, orthodox clergy in order to advance his own agenda.  But, at the same time, no one wishes ill will to him healthwise - having a respiratory problem like that is no fun, believe me, so I empathize with Francis on that.  We should also definitely pray for the Pope - any person with a heart and soul, regardless of what they think of him otherwise, cannot deny the importance of this.  But, in praying for his health, let's also pray that this is a time of reflection for him, and that he can have a conversion of heart to rectify some bad decisions he has made.  Whether he survives this (and it is not looking good) or not is neither here nor there; the salvation of his soul is.  If he comes out of it, perhaps he can be a Pope with a changed heart.  If he doesn't, then maybe in his final moments he can find the grace he needs to end his life on a good note.  Ultimately, it's in God's hands, but let us continue to lift up Pope Francis in our prayers regardless. 

Thank you for allowing me to spill my proverbial guts again this week, and will see you again soon. 

Thoughts on Renewing Society

 At this point, I live in one of the biggest cities in the nation, Baltimore.  A few observations about living here have been going through my mind the past couple of weeks, and I wanted to just reflect on some of these thoughts today.  A couple of things led to me doing this, and I want to give a little background first on the topic.

I teach, as I have mentioned, at a Jesuit high school  As part of the Theology department at my school, I am aware that there are some of my colleagues who have more liberal outlooks than I do.  One of those is the 12th-grade Theology teacher, who is an older lady but she also for some reason does give me cause for concern based on some of her views.  She focuses a lot on race, "social justice," and other things, one of which is the whole discussion on what is called gentrification.  Gentrification is defined as "the process whereby the character of a poor urban area is changed by wealthier people moving in, improving housing, and attracting new businesses, typically displacing current residents in the process."  Gentrification has become a bogeyman of the political Left, and even this definition reflects some political bias in the way it is perceived.  There are several issues with how this is perceived, and I want to tackle those now.

Many of the opponents of gentrification are also the biggest whiners about so-called "climate change."  One would think that if someone is genuinely concerned about the environment, they might want to tackle urban blight.  However, in many cases that is not the case.  There is a real hypocrisy on the part of Leftists regarding these issues, and the appalling way they approach it reveals what their agenda is truly about.  While of course I would not advocate displacing anyone to make way for wealthier residents of a community, there are a couple of problems with the Leftist view.  For one, many of the Leftists who decry gentrification are themselve wealthy, often White, and they really have no concern for their fellow humanity.  Second, if they were really all that concerned about the environment, then urban blight would be a pivotal issue for them - it is not.  Third, the typical Leftist elitist has little concern about the plight of the lower-income citizenry of the city or about urban blight - their agenda dictates that people have to be divided, compartmentalized, and kept in squalor in order to make them dependent upon the "welfare state" so that they can maintain power.  This is why you don't see Leftists picking up trash in problem areas, and you don't really see any true charity on their part.  If they knew they could advance their own status, they would toss poor people out in a second, and in many cases, what is often called "gentrification" is exactly that - then, the same people use that BS to tell the rest of us that gentrification is somehow evil.  And, the way they do it, it is evil.  Let me go into more detail.

Urban blight is a big problem in Baltimore - there is trash strewn all over many neighborhoods in the city, and no one is attempting cleanup.  Even the "Adopt-a-Highway" programs of the 1980s and 1990s were killed by - wait for it - the Obama administration.  For all the fuss about so-called "climate change," I find it ironic that the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortezes, the Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warrens, as well as countless other swamp creatures in positions of power, want to regulate cow flatuence but have no desire to pick up trash in areas they supposedly represent.  If climate change were truly an issue (and believe me, it is just rhetoric for the career bureaucrats and politicians), then there would be a concerted effort to clean up neighborhoods in these cities like Baltimore.  Even the 11th graders I teach - all practically minority students - understand this, as they all have identified excessive trash as a big issue in their communities.  During the mornings when I am walking to the bus stop to catch my ride to work, I walk past a rowhouse on a major thoroughfare in my neighborhood where the basement entrance has been converted into a makeshift dumpster, and no one attempts to clean the crap up - I have also seen huge rats in the overflowing trash receptacles in the same area, and that increases the probability of disease.  So, where are the politicians addressing this?  That is urban blight, and it is a scandal for our society.  The primary people who are cleaning up communities are by and large conservative or libertarian Republicans, not leftist Democrats.  The Leftists are elitists and do not give a crap about the poor minority households in Baltimore or any other city.  All they do is use rhetoric to tickle the ears of people and rile them up unnecessarily over stupid things.  Enough is enough.

So, is gentrification bad?  It depends on perspective.  If it means cleaning up the communities, repairing homes, and encouraging economic growth for neighborhoods, then there should be no issues.  I mean, everyone deserves the chance to improve their communities, and that should be a primary goal.  However, if it means that rich White yuppie Leftists displace lower-income families in those neighborhoods so they can have yoga studios, marijuana dispensaries, and terrible coffeehouses, then that should be discouraged.  People should not be forced to be displaced, and that aspect of false "gentrification" is immoral and wrong.  And, for other leftists - like my colleague here at the high school I teach at - are so against gentrification, maybe they should put their money where their mouths are and propose something better then.  Maybe, such people should take a trash bag in hand and start picking up the garbage in those neighborhoods if they really care.  I mean, seriously, making people live in squalor to fight the false facade of "gentrification" solves nothing for nobody.  And that is the inconsistency and hypocrisy of many Leftists in their talking points.  So, let me give my own modest proposal of what needs to happen.

For one thing, people in the communities have a certain amount of responsibility to improve where they live.  Especially if they are investing resources into their own homes, they need to show some pride in their neighborhoods.  That means that cleanup needs to take place at a grassroots level, and a measure of responsibility should be endowed upon those who actually live in those communities.  Secondly, I have seen some encouraging things in some areas here - I am seeing some encouraging things in many communities such as community gardens, painted murals on buildings, and those little free library boxes for people to access free books. Some other measures that could be taken is community neighborhood watches to discourage crime (the epidemic of "porch piracy" is rife in many communities, and that needs to be controlled), community assistance programs to assist people having some challenges in those communities, and an easier process for people in the community to start local businesses to stimulate the economy.  Many Leftists oppose stuff like this though because these types of programs encourage self-sufficiency, and God forbid that vulnerable demographics do that!  It would wrestle control from Leftist bureaucrats and place it back in the rightful hands of the local communities. And, that would take power and wealth away from crooked elitist bureaucrats.  Why do you think so many of those swamp creatures are riled up over Elon Musk and DOGE?  There has been a lot of taxpayer money wasted on stupid things, and I applaud Elon cleaning house.  If anything, we need more of that, and also a more urgent sense of accountability in our governing structures.  Hopefully, Elon and President Trump can start a revolution to overthrow rich elitist bureaucrats and restore order and democracy to our nation.  It is time to bring the American Dream back, but in order to do that, we need to eliminate the architects of the current nightmare we have been facing.  A challenge awaits us. 

Any rate, those are my thoughts this week, so will see you soon.

The Backroads

 

I am writing again based on a dream I had last night.  In the dream, my mother was still alive and we were traveling on what looked like some back roads in my home state of West Virginia.  In transversing those roads, what was familiar in dreamland is often not reality once one wakes up, and in real life these roads and scenes technically don't exist.  As is the case with many backroads in my home state, there are turns, crossroads, and even jacknife-like turnbacks, and it was something I felt comfortable and at home with.  At one point, we came to a river in the dream - it looked so much like the South Branch Potomac and Cheat Rivers I grew up around.  In the middle of the river were two barge-like vessels, and there seemed to be an attempt to build a bridge.  The whole thing was quite interesting, and as I began thinking about it after I woke up, I began pondering if a meaning was there somewhere.  And, that is what I want to reflect upon today.

The enchantment of the backroads is an integral fact of life for those of us who grew up in West Virginia, and even on the peripheries of Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Virginia that border my home state.  You learn navigating those roads a bit differently from other types of travel, in that landmarks play an important role for local people.  You never say, for instance to turn on Route So-and-So when giving directions - you always say something like, "yeah, hang a left at that barn near the Shanholtz place, and then go to where that oak tree sits at the next corner.  Make a right across from the oak tree, and follow that road to the old Nestor place - nice place to pick blackberries, by the way - and then you will see where you need to go yonder past the old fence."  This is how I give directions pretty much now, and I understand that.  Sure, I know route numbers and streets and will utilize those if I need to (living in Baltimore you have to) but I also still try to identify landmarks where those turns are - for instance, to get from where I live to my work, you have to go down North Avenue and turn on Wolfe Street (funny story about that shortly).  But, for me, I look for the Lutheran church at the intersection, as that is where Wolfe Street is, and I take that all the way down to the courthouse at the corner of Wolfe and Monument Streets.  So, even in the city, I still navigate by landmarks just like I used to do on those dusty old backroads back home.  

Humorous side story about Wolfe Street here in Baltimore.  Wolfe Street is not the most impressive route to travel - it looks like a ghetto as many of the old rowhouses are boarded up, and at certain spots one even sees homeless people wrapped up in blankets sleeping under bridges and such.  However, a source of amusement to break the monotony of traveling that same route every day is the automated voice on the bus.  At every stop, a robotic female voice announces the intersections and transfers to other routes, and for the most part there is nothing spectacular about that.  The only exception is when the bus goes down Wolfe Street - the female robot says "Wolfe" in a flat, almost annoyed tone, and then goes back to the normal cadence of voice on "Street."  What is even funnier though is when she says transfers.  The bus routes that serve downtown Baltimore are not identified by numbers, but by colors - for instance, the bus that drops me off out here at the corner where the school is would be CityLink Navy.  The bus I usually take is local route 21, but it parallels another color bus, the CityLink Gold.  When the female voice announces an intersection and transfers, she sounds like a bubbleheaded Valley girl when she says "CityLink Gold," and likewise that is a source of amusement that makes me chuckle under my breath everytime I hear it.  Since I mentioned Wolfe Street, I wanted to share that little amusing anecdote of my travels.

Getting back to the backroads though, they are a part of my own story - I am used to them, have traveled on them and lived near them most of my life, and for me there is a comfort, an endearing charm, with the backroads.  In many of my dreams, I see backroads - of course, in the dream world, they look a lot different but still as familiar to me as the real things.  I am not sure of why I dream of backroads - is there a meaning to them?  I tend to believe there is, but haven't totally sorted it all out yet.  Many of the dreams I have had about backroads have usually been pleasant, and there is a sort of security in them.  It could be that those backroads in my dreams symbolize I am secure and safe despite other things, and they could also be a coping mechanism for stress - many dreams are after all.  I have dealt with my dreams many times before, and I always take them seriously - dreams are a window into one's soul, and also serve as a sort of email from God in some cases to convey messages.  The scenery you see in dreams more than likely doesn't exist in real life, but in the dream there is a familiarity.  What is freakier though is that at certain times in life, you will travel to areas that look almost identical to what you see in dreams - that happened a couple of years back when traveling in Pennsylvania as a matter of fact.  They call that deja vu, but although it does happen it is still a mystery why we see places like this in real life later that we vividly dreamed about.  And, again it is the backroads.  

The charm of a backroad lies in its ambience - it is peaceful, aesthetically appealing, and embodies its own mysteries.  Especially if walking down a backroad, it gives you time to reflect, and even express those reflections in self-directed speech because no one else is around and you can be out there without anyone bothering you.  The solitude is a good way to clear one's mind, which is probably why God allows dreams of them for me.  If you travel the back road enough, you get to know it like an old friend, and it becomes a part of you whether you intended it or not.  I still remember as a preteen and even during my high school years, how I walked those back roads looking for things to harvest like fiddleheads or wild garlic, or going fishing at a favorite hole in the creeks that often ran alongside those roads.  As a younger kid, it was not uncommon to stop at those creeks, take off my shoes, and wade around in them looking for crawfish and other critters.  The simplicity of doing things like that is a precious memory, and there are days I miss that a lot. 

The simplicity of life often gets lost in the routines of our busy lives, especially when living in a large city like Baltimore, where the only wildlife consists of either flocks of pigeons congregating over the coffee shop I stop at each day on Eastern Avenue, or the rats that occasionally dive in and out of the litter-strewn alleys near Greenmount.  And, the rush-rush-rush of punctual clock-in times, meetings, and other junk that clutters our life (often without necessity) makes us forget.  We feel an emptiness, like we know we were not meant for this, and day after day of the same boring routines can be depressing.  God provides us those dreams to remind us that life is much more beautiful than the circumstances we are forced into many times.  And, the backroads remind us that the congested city streets are not who we are, nor are they were life ends.  We are more than that, and God seeks to remind us even in the little things. 

I have spent much time rambling about all this, but in all honesty I needed to.  The routines of busy life - especially in a large city such as Baltimore - can burn you out.  I have been feeling very disconnected lately, and as if a part of me is buried, and I want to rediscover that.  Maybe God can show me how to, and there are reasons we have these feelings.  And, there are reasons we have the dreams when our eyes close as our head is nestled in the pillows.  Perhaps tapping into that somehow would be an answer to the depression, discontent, and misplacement we can feel sometimes, and figuring out how to bring it all together is the next step.  Maybe I can find that at some point. 

Thank you for allowing me to share today, and I will see you next week. 

Observations This Week

 I was trying to decide what my thoughts would be this week, as I originally was going to begin a series on Christian morality based on what I am teaching my 11th graders.  A good orthodox Christian morality is necessary these days, as there seems to be confusion about certain things.   It is easy, for instance, for some people to take a Christian virtue and twist it around to advance an agenda - Pope Francis is unfortunately a master of this manipulation.  A lot of things go through my mind as I think about this, so I am going to wait until I have something more substantial to begin a series on Christian morality - I am developing a curriculum based on Fr. John Kiely's 1924 book, Instructions on Christian Morality, and there are still about 3 full months of the academic year left yet.  Given I was sort of tossed into my teaching responsibilities in the midst of the school year, I am having to develop a curriculum by flying by the seat of my pants.  Fortunately, my principal was a big help, as he obtained a copy of Fr. Kiely's book for me, so that is a plus.  The course as a whole is called "Sacraments and Morality," and the way it is structured is the first semester of the year deals with the Sacraments, and I had a textbook for that thankfully.  The second part of the year deals with Morality, and that is where it gets tricky - I don't have an actual textbook for that aspect of it, so I have to work on the proverbial fly to create something for it.  The school I teach at also wants to inject "social justice" into the curriculum, but I am doing my own spin on that to deflect the Marxist flavor of that concept from messing with Magisterial teaching.  Let me explain that further.

"Social justice" is essentially a term for soft-core Marxism, and often it is couched in religious language to make it appeal to Church people.  This was a contribution of notorious Marxist agitator Saul Alinsky in the 1930s, and somehow he managed to get his ideas injected into the platforms of some notable Catholic authorities then, including Jesuit theologian Jacques Maritain, who was a good friend of Alinsky's.  Having been challenged by my own parish priest to be a "beacon of truth," I am going to teach justice the way it should be taught - it is a cardinal virtue, and in its proper context it does benefit society.  However, that orthodox understanding of justice often stands in contrast with the "Social Justice" rhetoric of some leftist Catholics, in that they are not the same thing.  For one thing, while racism is a indeed a sin (and very demonic in many cases), the problem with many "Social Justice" advocates is that in the name of supposedly fighting racism, they in reality substitute one type of racism with another.  This makes "Social Justice" very unjust, and let me give you a preview of my class notes just to make the point.

The Decalogue (Ten Commandments) are divided into two parts.  The first three deal with how we relate to God (piety), while the last seven deal with how we relate to each other (justice).  Jesus summarized the law in Mark 12:31, and for centuries this "Summary of the Law" was a part of many historic liturgies.  So what happens when we emphasize one of these but not the other?  If one exercises piety over justice, then the result is a rigid religious legalism that is short on grace and heavy on judgment.  This is a major flaw of Fundamentalists when they attempt to evangelize others, and also is a characteristic trait of nations such as Iran.  On the other hand, if one emphasizes justice over piety, it results in ultimate tyranny.  Some of the most evil and destructive regimes in history (Hitler, Stalin, etc.) started out as crusades for justice.  However, their view of "justice" was to eliminate those who they felt were unjust against them, and thus they ended up being much worse than the regimes they supplanted. Was Castro in Cuba, for instance, any better than Batista whom he overthrew?  Ask many Cuban ex-pats who live in Florida that I know.  Many of them did not come here during Batista's regime - most came after Castro overthrew Batista's regime.  Castro was of course Communist, and Communism is at its core anti-Christian.  So, the "justice" proposed by Castro and his ilk was not true justice, as it tried to divorce God from true justice, and that never works.  Trying to destroy God's order in anything will result in disaster - the sin of the Enlightenment, for instance, was divorcing faith from reason, which to that point were understood to be complementary and not contradictory.  Therefore, again, here are the two points of this:

1. Piety without justice is legalism.

2. Justice without piety leads to tyranny, not true justice.

The lesson here is clear - we need to stop screwing around with the natural order God has created, because it only ends in disaster.  If only some secularized liberal religious people would get this message, true renewal may happen in our Church.  However, in all honesty, I feel our Church is headed for a major schism soon, and if that happens I will always fall on the side of the orthodox, and not the liberal apostates seeking to conform Christianity to their images.  And, yes, that includes Pope Francis.  Pope Francis is a legitimate Pope, don't get me wrong.  But, he is also a very bad Pope, and he has inflicted damage on the Body of Christ that will end up costing souls.  It is the duty of every faithful Catholic to pray for guidance in this, and also pray protection over themselves, as the forces of evil are all about.  The field is full of tares, and to separate them from the wheat at this point may destroy the harvest.  That is why we need a perfect guidance from God to navigate the whole mess.  

Thank you for allowing me to ramble again this week, and I will look forward to visiting again next week.  

Dealing with Misplacement

 After battling a nasty bout of flu that kept me out of work for over a week, I am on the mend.   The infection is all gone but left me with a nasty cough that acts up if I get overheated, and I am ready to shake that as well.  Being in convalescence at home for a week, I became glaringly aware of the fact that I have been feeling discontented a lot lately.  I almost dread starting a day now in many cases - I am not thrilled with the house I live in, and my job can be challenging at times, and don't get me started on those bus trips!  Fortunately, in the last day or so there has been a bit of a turnaround, but I still have a bit to go.  I wanted to sort of talk about that today, as it really has a lot to do with many things that have happened in the past few months.

I am at heart a small-town guy - I do my best in a small town, and my values and other attributes I share have small-town influence and roots.  But, I find myself in the middle of one of the largest cities in the country, and it has been an adjustment.  The pollution, the population density, and so many other mess with my basic sensibilities, and as a result I find it hard to adjust at times.  Now, this is not my first time living in a city by no means - I lived in the Tampa Bay area for several years, and even faced a few of the same issues there, but not on this scale.  And, I also was extremely happy to move out of the cities too.  The cities have their benefits - the mass transit system, access to shopping and so many other things, and a higher level of salary for work - but they also are not ideal.  A city is ultimately a good place to do work and business, but not exactly the most ideal living place.  While in time things will either adjust or get better, it has been almost a daily challenge to exist recently and I am coming to terms with that.  

Of all the issues I face in urban living though, perhaps ideological issues are one of the toughest.  I am fairly conservative, a traditionalist, and I also embody the values of an older generation.  Often, in the middle of a big city such as this one, there are problems such as political and religious differences, and whereas in most of America I would be the mainstream, in the middle of the city I feel like a proverbial fish out of water.  Even the Catholic school I work at is somewhat divergent when it comes to how we view things, as many teachers tend to be more liberal than me and I am having to guard my convictions in order to prevent risking castigation by both the co-workers in my school as well as many of the students.  At some point there has to be a breaking point, but if one happens I want it to be as genial as possible.  Any rate, in many instances it is also a type of spiritual warfare, as I am contending often for my own soul and I feel that if I let my guard down on even the most subtle of deviations, I could risk issues.  That is one reason I am back to reading Watchman Nee's book again.

This week's discourse seems like rambling on and on, but I wanted to announce what I am going to be doing.  As I am charged with teaching a course on Sacraments and Morality, one huge challenge to that is the lack of a good textbook - I have had to fly by the seat of my pants to design a curriculum, and so far I have a decent one.  I am wanting to turn those notes into some blog article lessons, much like what I did when I taught the adult Bible studies at St. Mary's in Winter Haven years ago.  So, over the next few weeks, I will begin composing a series of articles that give basic lessons on morality, and in doing so I can also refine how I teach these things to 11th graders.  Therefore, next week we will begin that series.

Thanks again for allowing me to share this week, and will see you next time.

Recovery and Reflection

 As I write today, I am on the mend from a nasty bout of flu I have suffered with for the past couple of days.  It got me two days off work, and I was able to get some rest which was nice, although the miserable feeling of body aches and a nagging cough don't afford much.  It seems like a number of people at work were hit with the same thing too - many of the kids were out of school, and at least 7 teachers (including myself) called in yesterday.  I am thinking it has something to do with the sub-Arctic conditions we have had with our weather over the past several weeks - January has been one of the coldest months in a while on record, in at least 8 years.   The last time it was this chilly out was in 2017 at around this time, when Barbara, Mom, and I had just moved to Hagerstown from Florida.  I caught a nasty bout of the flu then too I recall.  I am starting to pine for Spring now - a little snow is OK, but this has been ridiculous.  Today it is a comfortable 46 degrees out, and my own temperature has stabilized at 98.8 - after at least two days of being over 100.  I am also preparing to eat my first full meal I have had in several days - the flu will rob your appetite, and I have been eating extremely light since Saturday.  So, I have a nice pizza on the way now to me which will be a good way to break the viral fast I have been compelled to be under.  While I was at home I had a lot of time to reflect - when I could, that is - and there are some things I want to share today.

To begin, starting last Thursday I re-watched both The Winds of War and War and Remembrance, two of the best mini-serial movies ever produced.  The last time I watched these was 3 years ago not long after Mom had passed away - it reflected my melancholy at the time in all honesty.  Being both a history buff as well as also just a major admirer of those movies in general, it was good to watch them again.  Being sick meant that I could binge-watch them over the course of the past three days, and so I did.  Both of these movies came out when I was still in high school, and they are based on two novels of the same names by Jewish-American author Herman Wouk.  I had attempted to read the novels too in high school but never managed to conquer them, although I plan on doing so soon.  I won't give you a synopsis of the books or the movies based on them, but what I wanted to do instead was reflect on the movies themselves and how they affect me personally.

In our weekly faculty meeting for our 11th-grade team last week, we did an icebreaker exercise that entailed naming what fictional character in a book or movie we would like to be.  I chose Dr. Aaron Jastrow from these two books/films.  Dr. Jastrow, who in the story is a prominent Jewish-American writer and professor, captivates me in that in many ways I am a lot like him too.  Like Dr. Jastrow, I embrace both my current religious identity as a Catholic, but also have strong ties to my religious past too.  It amounts to what I have taught for years that one's testimony is integral, and for someone to be truly Catholic, it is important to embrace what led to one's union with the Church.  This perhaps applies more to converts like myself, but it implications are potent when it comes to knowing oneself.  In the case of Aaron Jastrow, it led to his demise in a Nazi gas chamber at Auschwitz, and in perhaps one of the most powerful scenes of the entire movie, as Dr. Jastrow is in that chamber, stripped of all his clothes and minutes away from asphyxiation from the Zyklon B gas the demonic SS guards dump into the chamber, he is reciting the 23rd Psalm - The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...  His dying words are an affirmation of his faith in God and his identity as a Jewish man, despite years of trying to reconcile with the society around him.  There is a valuable lesson in this, and I want to go for that now for us as Catholics.

I work at a Jesuit high school in Baltimore, and as it is well known, the Jesuits tend to be extremely liberal theologically.  The administration of the school right now is lamenting President Trump's securing of our borders and they are almost making a political statement out of it.  This is despite some faculty members saying that in regard to Catholic teaching, it should be jettisoned because of "education not indoctrination."  OK, fine - so then, why are they pushing political indoctrination then? I have yet to see any of the faculty at our school participate in March for Life or any other cause that extolls the Church's teaching on the sanctity of life, yet they are really pushing this immigration thing.  I am fully aware that we do have a high proportion of Hispanics in the student body, but in all honesty most of them were born here.  And, despite my reservations about the Biden immigration disaster, I am not necessarily against immigration either - just obey the laws doing so is all.  If Catholic hierarchs were really that concerned about immigration, then maybe what they need to do is help make illegals legal by following the law in this case.  And, that includes even Pope Francis, who with all due respect needs to shut up and stay out of the immigration debate in this country.  Like some others have said, if Francis is so concerned, then why not take them in at the Vatican then?  We all know the answer to that, and nothing will change.  Francis, for a positive, is old now, so thankfully his pontificate is soon to be over, and I hate to say it but good riddance when it is over.  A lot of faithful Catholics feel the same way about this too, and with legitimate reasons.  We need serious reform in the Church, but a reform that restores our Catholic faith.  Get rid of the politicians and pedophiles in the hierarchy and elect holy men of God who are true shepherds to be our bishops.  Give the Latin Mass back its status and stop punishing people for wanting to celebrate it.  And, be a voice for traditional values and not merely a political mouthpiece for billionaire oligarchs.  If all of this happens, the Church can be restored and reformed. But, it's a tall order. May God have the grace to make it happen for us.

The past several months have been a time of upheaval and transition for me, and I have needed to rethink so much recently.   Being in a somewhat oppositional environment workwise with some liberal CINOs I have started reflecting again on my own story - what makes my own faith in other words.  There are many things I do miss about my religious past - the Baptist conventions, Pentecostal campmeetings and revivals, and the Anglican synods I used to attend.  I also miss the beauty of Eastern liturgies too, both Catholic and Orthodox.  I even miss some of the eschatological talk and other things too, and although I don't believe like a dispensationalist anymore, admittedly there was a sort of appeal to their ideas, and those guys were prolific authors.  And, the Evangelicals of 30 years ago - they lost their fire too.  Back then they had some real cultural warriors - Jerry Falwell, D. James Kennedy, Chuck Colson, etc.  Now, they are all gone.  Sure, the shells of their former ministries live on, but as commentator Michael Knowles aptly stated, the Evangelicals now have largely gone "squish."  It seems like in recent decades the mantle of cultural warrior has shifted to faithful Catholics, and we are even getting opposition in our own churches in many cases for it.  There is no doubt that a battle for the soul of the Church is taking place, and it's starting to look like the lines are drawn now.   Will there be a schism in the Church?  That remains to be seen, but as I have said many times, I will always side with orthodoxy and if a split happens, I plan on being with the orthodox side.  I do not know if saying all this would even put my job at a Jesuit high school at risk, but if I have learned one thing it is this - I have to stand for what is right.  If that costs me my job, so be it - I have lost far more in the past several months so I have nothing to lose.  Like Professor Jastrow, I am drawing my line in the sand, and it doesn't mean things will be easy for sure.  But, I also recall what Fr. Grassi said to me - be a beacon of truth.  And that I shall.

I could go on and on about all this today, but I feel this is sufficient for now.  I will hopefully have more lucid insights to share later, so be safe until next time.

Is This a New Era?

 It is January 20th as I write this - it is 26 degrees outside and we have MORE snow on the ground, and there are flurries blowing around out there now. I am off school today as it is Martin Luther King Day, and it is also the day Mr. Trump is being inaugurated as the 47th President of our nation - that births optimism in me, as the past four years under the senile old fool named Joe Biden were a nightmare.  Trump being back in office means so many things - it means a possible end to the runaway inflation, a drilling policy to tap into our own petroleum supply, and most importantly, an end to all the "woke" BS that most of the country is frankly sick of.  I feel very good about all this, and hopefully my good feeling has justification. 

This past week has been a crazy one - a corrupt postal carrier failed to deliver some of my packages, and I am in the process of getting him taken care of now.  Also, dealing with 11th graders can have its own challenges - you would think at their age they would not act like babies, but on Friday I had one that I wish I could have booted into Baltimore Harbor.  The kid - we will call him Zack to protect his identity - was just being plain obnoxious, and I had to report him to his parents as well as writing him up.  As a teacher, I am not overly enthusiastic about calling anyone's parents on them, but in some cases it is a necessity. Zack was one of those - he was loud, disruptive, and in all honesty I wish I had the power to expel his rebellious butt. He is one of a group of around 8 "problem children" I have in my first class of a day, and to be honest, this group is making me reconsider career options.  Thankfully though, for every jackass in a class there are also several kids who make teaching rewarding too, and I am happy for them.  Bottom line, teachers do have to earn their salaries, and often that can be an uphill battle. 

Along those same lines, let's talk about something else.  Baltimore, like every major city in the country, has a pollution problem, especially in largely Black neighborhoods.  When I walk down Greenmount Avenue to 25th Street to catch my bus to work of a morning, I noticed in particular a certain site that disturbs me.  Baltimore's signature "rowhouses" are found all over the city, and I actually live in one myself now.  Depending on the neighborhood, the typical rowhouse can either be a run-down and abandoned shell, or it can be a very beautiful residence.  The construction of many of these rowhouses incorporates a basement, and in many houses, the access to the basement is either via a stairway inside the house or an external entrance next to the front door.  One of the more deteriorated rowhouses over here on Greenmount has one of the external basement entrances, and to access it one descends a flight of about a dozen steps to the door.  At this particular house though, a bunch of irresponsible people have turned the stairway leading to the basement into a makeshift dumpster, and it is almost filled to the top with garbage.  No doubt there are rats around that area too, as the nasty garbage would naturally attract them.   Seeing that, as well as the streets littered with garbage in some neighborhoods as well as unsightly graffiti on many surfaces, I started to think about something that really could be a good campaign platform for a conservative political candidate.  Let me elaborate.

The Black community in Baltimore has for years voted overwhelmingly Democrat, and as a result, the city government here is dominated by Democrats.  Part of the Democrats' unpopular and unsuccessful agenda for decades has been the environment, including the hoaxes of global warming, climate change, etc.  You would think with such a "Green" platform and a huge Black voting base, these Democrats would be eager to clean up the garbage on the streets here.  Yet, it is precisely in Democrat-run cities that pollution is out of control (just like crime) and for all the talk of "climate change" from these career politicians, I have yet to see them clean anything up.  It also proves what a hoax the whole "green agenda" is - if they were really that concerned about it, they would be initiating cleanup programs all over the country.  However, we all know what it really is about for these Democrats - they want power, will say anything to get power, and once they get it, they don't give a damn. Even many Blacks in those certain neighborhoods know this too - so why do they keep voting these fools in?  Get promised a handout, and you will do whatever you are told when it comes to the ballot box.  Some Republicans are equally culpable on this too.  If they are really so interested in the environment, perhaps they should shut their mouths and get their lazy asses out and clean up the neighborhoods they claim to represent.  I just wanted to make that casual observation before I continue. 

Shifting gears a bit, I wanted to talk about something else that came up recently.  You know, as I get older I start noticing when people are dying off, and that has become glaringly obvious recently.  In the past month, we lost a former President (Jimmy Carter), two prominent Evangelical Protestant figures (prophecy writer Hal Lindsey and Gospel singer Nancy Harmon), some major celebrities (actresses Joan Plowright and Linda Lavin), and on a personal level a former associate pastor of a church I used to attend as well as one of my former professors have just passed away.  This also made me think about an inner commentary I wanted to touch on briefly here too. 

In the past 30 years, I have noticed some things about how different Christian denominations approach societal issues.  It used to be that it was Evangelicals who led the charge as cultural warriors - I still recall the days of stalwarts like Jerry Falwell and D. James Kennedy making a stand for religious freedom and moral reform in society.  But, as that generation of Evangelicals died off, so did the zeal and motivation that once drove them.  Nowadays, there are an increasing number of young Evangelicals who are on the political Left, and I am sure many generations of their pastors and leaders are spinning in the grave over it.  But, fortunately to fill that gap, there are more Catholics making a stand for the truth now.  I once heard someone on EWTN (maybe it was Raymond Arroyo?) remark that there are two types of Catholics today in society.  There are the Catholics who love the Church and stand for Tradition, and then there are the hierarchs and elitists in diocesan leadership who are more liberal in their views (including Pope Francis, which is frankly disturbing).  It is apparent that except for a few shining examples - Cardinal Burke, Archbishop Vigano, Bishop Strickland - the leadership of the Catholic Church is out of touch with what its people need and want.  I am seeing younger people crave Tradition, and it is such a wonderful sight to see well-dressed young men at Mass as well as young ladies wearing mantillas.  It is saying that something is happening, and it is the Holy Spirit I believe stirring those young people.  Their greatest opponents though are liberal Boomers who insist on "changing the Church with the times," and they are even popping up at Catholic schools saying "education and not indoctrination" when it comes to orthodox Church teaching, yet they then will spout their DEI and other "woke" agendas - that sounds more like indoctrination to me.  I see it among some faculty at the Jesuit high school where I teach, and to be honest I was a bit unsettled when I heard this stuff.  The good thing though is that there is a positive turn toward orthodoxy and Tradition in the Church, and in time I think that Francis and his agenda will be sidelined in history just like Arius was in the 4th century.  We see it in the general population too - there is a reason why Trump is back in the White House now, and our nation has spoken as to what it wants, and Trump is the guy many people think will deliver.  This turn back to something decent is encouraging, but for now the war still rages although our enemies are losing a lot of ground.  It marks the beginning of a new era, both for the Church and for America.  And, may it continue to move forward as we reclaim so much that was lost. 

That pretty much concludes my immediate thoughts for the week, although I am certain I shall have more to say later.  Have a good week, and will see you next time. 

The Thoughts of the Week

 As I write this today, it is on a Monday and I am home.  I was feeling a bit under the weather over the weekend and took a sick day from work.  Dealing with the handful of snarky high school juniors I teach in my first class was just not something I was up to today.  I am not sure what happened to me, but starting yesterday morning I was nauseous, lightheaded, and having headaches - I know I don't have a viral infection, as I was not congested, so not sure what is going on with that.  While I am feeling a little better today, I figured it might be a good idea to take it a little easier.  

Also, as I write this I am in the process of upgrading a few things in my home now.  I got a new compact mini-desktop computer and am in the process of hooking that up.  I have to wait for a VGA adapter to be delivered in a short while to get the monitor hooked up, but everything looks like it will be pretty easy to connect.  Technology has come a long way since the days of clunky monitors, large computer operating towers, and floppy discs - in a fraction of the space now, you can have all that same convenience, and I personally think that is a good thing.  And the flash drive - that is a genius invention!  You can save so much on those, and I have a boxful of them with practically all my documents as well as books, videos, music, etc., preserved.  While on a more comprehensive scale I am a bit wary of technology (AI, for instance, is a prequel to transhumanist eugenics, so I don't see much good coming from it), I also understand how integral it is to have technology these days.  The fact it is now more compact makes it even more appealing.  Now, if only all these damned wires could go away - those are the biggest pain.  I spent the better part of a morning detangling a mess of cords, earpieces, and other stuff that I had in a basket under my old computer desk in Hagerstown but now is in a drawer.  There were cords to things I don't think I even have anymore, and in all honesty, I question the wisdom of keeping a lot of them.  But, I keep a few on hand just in case - you never know when something like that may come in handy.  Technology then is a necessary evil - I wish there was less of it, but so much also depends on it now. 

Getting rid of my desktop - after dissassembling it and taking out the hard drive and the disc drive - was a mixed feeling.  On one hand, it does symbolize the end of the old and the emergence of the new, but on the other hand it symbolizes the same thing.  That is both a positive and a negative in other words.  With so much that has happened in the past few months, I am still digesting a lot - it could be why I was having a few physical problems that led to me taking off work today. Losing a lot of stuff at our old house, then having Lily pass away on me, as well as having to rehome my rabbit Zoe and my birds, was a lot.  Thankfully, I was able to salvage a core of my life and it is safe in a storage unit in Martinsburg, including all my most precious items such as memoirs and the core of a music collection I can begin rebuilding upon.  However, I have days where I just feel a bit overwhelmed coping with all this, and it does wear on me at times.  God is in everything right now, and I have seen his hand at work, but it still is a lot to adjust to.  I am slowly getting a number of my books back though, and now have about a shelf of them.  I know I will never get the library I used to have back, but I can get some important volumes that will aid in my research.  Until I get a permanent place and get out of just living in a rented room though, I am being prudent about how much I actually get.  The less complicated an imminent move is, the better.  New beginnings lead to good places in life, but my goodness, they are not always easy.  Any rate, I felt like sharing that today.

There is still much to sort out, and as I do so I am sure that I will start to see the bigger picture.  And, I will continue chronicling those developments here.  Thank you for allowing me to share, and will see you next time.  

Back To Work in the New Year

 As I am writing this, I am sitting in my classroom.  My students all have their work-study program today, so aside from grading and planning the week's lessons I have a little time to kill.  Outside, there are about 6 inches of snow on the ground, and it was cold this morning, adding to the fact the dumb bus was an hour late, and subsequently so was I to work.  In talking to an elderly Black gentleman at the bus stop (he was as cold and frustrated as I was, which meant talking took our mind off the late bus and the freezing temps), I got a few insights that I wanted to share as they are important. 

The Black gentleman I talked to is a veteran, and he also grew up in a small town in North Carolina - we shared that rural background in common.  He was a nice guy, but he had a couple of interesting observations I wanted to highlight as they reflect a lot.  We were talking about the bus schedule, and how that particular route generally has a history of lateness.  He had mentioned that he tried to circulate a petition to get that fixed, but people gave him opposition.  I agreed with his frustration about that, as I felt that myself on so many occasions.  Too many people are defeatist in their attitudes when it comes to the betterment of society.  They whine a lot, and they make a lot of noise, but when confronted with an opportunity to fix it, they are the first to say "oh, that is how things are, and we cannot change them."  I saw that very recently when I was experiencing some post office issues - many of the people in our neighborhood have the same issue with their mail delivery, but when they are asked to make a stand, they are like "who would listen to me?" or worse, "I don't like making a big stink and don't like people who do."  That type of attitude is why so much crap happens - the mentality that if no one listens, what does it matter anyway.  It is a dangerous attitude to have, as it is essentially the sin of complacency.  Making change to something can be a battle, and it is not promised to be easy, but if enough people get the message perhaps something could happen.  Imagine what could be accomplished if that attitude was defeated in society.  And, that leads me to something relating to what I am teaching to my kids in my classes now.

Our Jesuit lay campus minister at the school is basically a nice guy - I believe him to be sincere, and think he does have noble intentions.  But, he is extremely misguided on so many things when it comes to social justice.  Being he spent time in Latin America, he is extremely sympathetic to some revolutionary movements there, and he is quick to blame the United States and the governing regimes in some nations for what he believes is "injustice."  I have a couple of things to say about that momentarily, but want to finish this thought first.   In teaching a class called Sacraments and Morality to the kids here, one of the things I want them to understand is the Ten Commandments (or Decalogue, in Catholic theology).  The Church breaks down these laws into two groups - three of them have to do with our relationship to God, and the other seven address how people should relate to each other.  These two things were summarized in the words of Jesus in the Gospels in Mark 12:29-31 into what is called the Summary of the Law.  In the older liturgies of the Church - particularly the traditional Anglican BCP Mass - this is often read after the opening Collect of a liturgy, and it reminds us of two things that Christ Himself plainly stated:

1. We love God with all our heart, soul, and mind.

2. We love our neighbor as ourselves.

This aptly summarizes the entire Ten Commandments, as essentially that is what they boil down to.  The three that address our relationship to God - namely, the prohibition against taking the Lord's name in vain, the prohibition against idolatry, and the sanctity of the Sabbath day - foster piety.   The remaining seven that address our relationship to one another foster justice.  In order for the entirety of the Law to work, both are needed. Piety without justice becomes mere legalism.  Likewise, justice without piety becomes brutal tyranny.  Our campus minister is predisposed to making a mantra out of the word "justice" in his rants and in how he communicates to classes and even at faculty meetings.  He is fond of quoting people such as the heretical racist theologian James Cone, and also has an affinity for less-than-orthodox Catholic theologians such as Karl Rahner.  This in turn makes him outright sympathetic to socialism and Marxism, which are two of the most unjust systems on the planet.  I tend to agree with the late Presbyterian minister, Dr. D. James Kennedy, who called socialism "legislated theft."  Turning the oppressed into an oppressor is often the focus of those who cry "justice" without tempering their message with piety, and in the end the "justice" they holler about is not genuine justice at all - repaying oppression with oppression is not justice, I am sorry.  Therefore, in the divine economy, personal conversion (or cultivation of piety) is necessary for societal transformation (or cultivation of justice).  Try to separate them, and you have a disaster in the works.  An example of the application of piety without justice, for instance, can be found in many historical regimes - John Calvin was a big proponent of that type of legalism, as were his Puritan disciples, and radical Islamic regimes like that of the late Ayatollah Khomeini are likewise as legalistic, and no true justice exists because religious fanaticism (dare I say misplaced piety) overshadows the dignity of personhood.  So, in the greater scheme of things, who was worse - Khomeini or Stalin?  I would argue that both were equally evil, but in different ways.  And, neither represents the Gospel and its message either. That is the point of the discourse.

My friend the campus minister here at the school does raise some legitimate concerns though - he notes that US involvement in Latin American political affairs created some issues, and honestly I have to agree.  I am as patriotic as the next American, and I feel blessed to have been born and raised here.  However, I am not as proud of much of the leadership of our nation, because frankly they are evil people at times.  And, that is not just Democrats - there are equally evil politicians who self-identify as "conservative" too who diminish America's legacy, and more often than not "conservative" politicians promote unjust policies.  Take what happened during the Kosovo mess in 1999 for instance - we really had no business in that region, yet a Democrat President (Clinton) was supported by Establishment Republicans (the Bushes) in doing what the US did there.  I protested that then, and still do now.  I feel much the same way about this whole mess in Ukraine too - why are we there??  It seems we are trying to expand an empire of ideas - Biden initiated that involvement, and Zelenskyy, the dictator of Ukraine, has become a US puppet for all intents.  A lot of Republicans jumped on that bandwagon too, which was stupid of them - the issues between Russia and Ukraine are essentially a sibling squabble (a very volatile one, I will grant that) and it is not going to be absolved overnight.  We Americans often miss the lessons in school on world history, and this is the fruit of that.  While we should definitely grant humanitarian aid to all who need it (Russians and Ukrainians), we don't have any business egging on a war that could be easily resolved if we kept our nose out of it.  The bottom line is this - Zelenskyy is no hero, and to be honest, Putin is not a total bad guy either.  Neither are perfect, but we tend to make everything so damned dualistic that we forget that.  This, on a larger scale, is what my new friend at the bus stop was attempting to say this morning.  

Morality is created from the cultivation of virtue, and virtue in turn is fostered by a balance of piety and justice.  Seek to better ourselves inside, and as we do so, the society outside will be transformed as well. It may take some time, but if diligence is practiced it can happen.  It is on this note I end my thoughts fo r today and hopefully I can communicate that to my students in these classes in the coming weeks.  Have a good day everyone, and for those of you experiencing this winter storm front, stay safe and stay warm.  

The Haunting of What Was vs. What Is

 This is an unusual title for this discussion, but it isn't what you think.  I am not expressing regret, nor am I lamenting a current situation.  Granted, there have been times I have done that too.  Rather, it is about missing things, and those fond memories that keep one going even in the midst of chaotic change.  After so much loss recently - my beloved little cat dying, losing mom, having to undergo a very abrupt move, etc. - it has taken some adjustment, and thankfully I have memories to encourage me to move forward.  I haven't really talked much about those feelings like I probably need to, but let's try to do so today.  It is a good day to do it too - as I am writing this, we have a heavy snowstorm happening outside and I am even off work today as a result of it.  We could be expecting up to 6 inches of snow when it is all said and done, but that is January here in the Northeast.  Some people classify Baltimore as a Southern city, but I never did - Baltimore is part of a huge megalopolis that stretches from DC to Boston, and between that range of territory it is as if everything is one huge continuous city.  The bulk of the nation's population - perhaps 20 to 30 million people - can be found in this particular region. Baltimore alone has a couple of million, and that is not counting what is in DC, Philly, New York, Boston, and every smaller city and town that links them.  I remember my regional social studies class in the 6th grade calling Maryland part of the Mid-Atlantic region, and that does make sense.  While some classify Maryland as a Southern state, I don't think it fits the demographic.  Sure, there are the Appalachian counties in the western part of the state, as well as the more Southern-oriented Eastern Shore, but the majority of the state is found in this central area, the Beltway Corridor it is called. And, it is clearly more Northeastern, having more in common with New York than with Atlanta.  Anyway, so much for the geography lesson.

My move to Baltimore has played a big part in the subject matter of this discussion.  Now, as a kid I have always been somewhat connected to Baltimore - after all, I did spend a large part of my childhood here, and at one time our entire family practically lived on the west side of town here, just 5 miles from where I am currently sitting.  Over the years, I have also had lots of dreams about living back here too, and there is no doubt a connection between me and this city.  Now, the circumstances of me moving back here are not the best -  a combination of positives (getting a very coveted job) and negatives (being forced out of our place in Hagerstown under very negative conditions) brought me here.  To be honest, the way I ended up here would not have been my choice of move, and even this place I live in is not exactly what I had in mind when I moved here.  But, I am here for whatever that's worth, so it is a new beginning for me.  I am still adjusting to everything even two months out from moving here, and it will take some time to be completely adjusted.  But, I see my future and this city as being sort of intertwined from this point, and this may be my home for a while.  Coming to that realization has made me do a lot of self-examination, and it's that I am wanting to talk about now.

Looking out the kitchen window into the backyard, I see the grave I laid to rest my beloved little tortoiseshell cat Lily.  Today, the snow that is falling has obscured it, but I know where it is.  Losing that little cat really compelled me to reflect a lot the past couple of weeks, and I have a weird assortment of emotions as I did so.  For one, there is the heaviness - I miss that little girl, as she was my beloved pet for 12 years and I loved her.  But, there are also fond memories - I have a lot of them with her, and that makes me smile at times.  There is also determination - I am looking into getting another Tortie kitten now to ease the effects of the loss, and although another one will not replace her, it will make dealing with her loss so much easier.  I have gone through this too many times now, and it gets harder to bury my beloved pets every time I lose one.  That is why I am seeking kittens as I lose my older cats, and that way I have many wonderful years ahead with them.  Lily's passing has really impacted me and caused me to think about things, and as I do so I am noticing a few things too.  Let me get into that. 

Recently, even simple things - like using the last of a tube of toothpaste or a supply of toilet paper I had in Hagerstown that I brought with me - evokes thoughts.  There are many thoughts it evokes.  For one, it is as if the exhausting of a certain store of supplies is like a door to the past closing.  Secondly, it evokes some fond memories of what was, before having to move and still having the old place (which I do miss).  Thirdly, it also evokes a kernel of determination.  Determination, for one, to rebuild.  Determination, on another level, to preserve - by replacing things, I feel that it is establishing a continuity.  Change happens, I understand that, and I would be the last person to deny the inevitability of change for sure.  But, in the midst of change there is this indwelling desire I have to try to salvage the best of the past while also embracing things of the future too - one cannot simply cut all ties to the past and just embrace something totally different, as that is a shock to the system in all honesty.  This is why continuity is important.  We see this in history too, and let me give a short lesson on that. 

Between roughly 800 BC and the end of World War I, there was a general continuity of historical progress.  Take Rome, for instance.  Rome would not have existed if it were not for at least two cultures that preceded it - the Greeks and the Etruscans.  Roman civilization was an expansion of what the Greeks established, and with the infusion of true faith on behalf of the Judeo-Christian tradition, its continuity and legacy was preserved.  Sure, the Western Empire technically ceased to exist officially in 476, and the East lasted until 1453, but they did not just abruptly end - someone carried on those legacies, and we see it in later European dynastic legacies such as those of the Hapsburgs, the Plantagenets, the Bourbons, and others.  The only time an abrupt end happened to the whole legacy was in the political/cultural shift that happened at the end of World War I in 1918 - for about a little over 100 years now, Western Civilization has had an identity crisis because it lost the continuity it had had since 800 years before Christ.  Even the United States, despite not being directly an heir to the dynastic legacy of any of those European entities that succeeded both parts of the Roman Empire, inherited many things that placed it initially in the continuity of Western Civilization, at least until recently,   The iconoclastic mentality of the postmodern Left though has created problems for Western Civilization, and rather than building upon the legacy of almost 3000 years of continuity, "progressive" postmodern Leftism is wanting to abolish anything that has to do with the past, and it wants to recreate civilization in its own destructive image.  This goes against inherent human nature, and it cannot succeed.   The general breakdown in society now over garbage such as "wokeness" is the result of trying to sever the lifeline we have to the past. It is the sort of thing that authors ranging from Aldous Huxley in his dystopian novel Brave New World to J.R.R. Tolkien's works lament because those authors understood that continuity is a necessary part of the survival of humanity and civilization.  Without continuity, we have nothing to build on, and no lessons to be taught from the past (both positive and negative).  This also ties into another spiritual principle embodied in the Ten Commandments.

In the high school class I teach entitled Sacraments and Morality, the Ten Commandments form an integral part.  As I told my kids in the classes I teach, the Ten Commandments can be broken down into two sets - three of them deal with our relationship to God, and the rest deal with how we relate to other people.  The central principle of the first three is piety, while the remaining seven focus on justice.  Both of these are fundamental to the morality of the Judeo-Christian tradition, and here is why.   Justice without piety is tyranny, and piety without justice is legalism.  Tyranny and legalism lead to the same place too - disorder in our society.  That is why the Summary of the Law, as is found in Matthew 22:36-40, is summarized by Jesus into two things:

1. Love for God (piety)

2. Love for neighbor (justice)

That being said, a society cannot be transformed unless the conversion of the individual happens first - convert the soul, and you transform the society.  This is why many well-meaning liberal Catholics (in particular the campus minister at the high school I teach at) miss it by infinity - they love to cry "justice! Justice!" a lot, but they minimize personal conversion and don't understand that the root of injustice is sin - we live in a fallen world, remember, and until we address that we cannot have true justice. This has been particularly true of some religious orders in Latin America and elsewhere - particularly the Jesuits - and why they embrace heresies like "Liberation Theology," which in reality doesn't liberate anyone.  Justice for all means just that - justice for all.  It does not remedy injustice when a flip-flop happens and the oppressed become oppressors.  It starts the whole cycle over is what it does.  The answer here is not making oppressed people a class of new oppressors (this is why communism, most forms of socialism, and Fascism have all failed), but rather by the conversion of the soul making society better by allowing supernatural grace to work.  Supernatural grace does three things in Catholic theology - it elevates, heals, and perfects nature, and in doing so, it makes nature more like the way God intended it to be.  Justice without piety lacks this grace, but so does piety without justice - the two go hand-in-hand.  Religious legalism and the tyranny of socialism are both bad for the human person, in that both diminish dignity of personhood in different ways but with the same result.  And, the two of these things in conflict with each other leads to an unending struggle in which no one truly wins - even the oppressors lose eventually as the pendulum swings back and forth.  But, if true justice and authentic piety work together, then everyone benefits.  It is time this lesson is learned. 

So, what does that all have to do with my current situation?   For one, it is teaching me to rely more on God - one wonderful benefit of moving here is that I have a wonderful parish church within walking distance, and it has encouraged me to participate in sacramental life more, including my long-neglected need for the sacrament of Confession.  Deepening my faith is bringing me back to where I once was, and in doing so it provides me hope for my future.  But, another aspect is that it has helped me to have more empathy for others - learning how to see past externals does provide a basis for true love of neighbor, and it means that external differences (race, social status, etc.) mean very little when it comes down to the fundamental human condition. It does not excuse bad behavior, but it tempers my response to that behavior from being vengeful and vindictive to seeking a true justice based on honest confrontation of the issue, having an attitude of forgiveness, and learning how to move forward despite opposition.  Most importantly, it does not nullify the person I am - rather, it helps me to reconnect with myself on a fundamental level and then supernatural grace can do its work of elevating, healing, and perfecting me in areas where I need it the most.  Personal faith in God will lead to outward transformation, but it is a transformation that builds upon what is good already within you without making you eliminate all your history, your personality, etc.  Transformation is not re-creation, but it is enhancing what is good while diminishing what is bad.  This is sort of what I have been experiencing myself over the past few months.  There are days when it does seem difficult, but in retrospect we see where it leads us. 

Any rate, that is what I wanted to share today, and for those of you impacted by this winter storm raging outside, please stay safe and warm.  I will see you next visit.