The Summer Season Knocks on the Door

 It is really interesting as I write this, but for the first time in many years I am actually looking forward to summer.  Maybe it is because I am working in the school system now, and much like the students anticipate summer, so do teachers - while being an educator can be rewarding, it can also be extremely taxing and I really need some rest in all honesty.  I am thankfully on the doorstep of a long rest, as tomorrow is the last official class day for the students - the remainder of the week will consist of a baccalaureate Mass for the graduating seniors, the commencement ceremony itself at the Archdiocesan cathedral, and then final exams next week for everyone else.  As I write this now, I cannot help but remember my own anticipation for summer break back many years ago when I was still a student in school.

My later childhood and middle and high school years saw a gradual evolution of my summer interests.  It began with the normal childhood pursuits of fishing, tramping around in the woods near the house, and building forts and other activities with a few friends.  As I came into middle and high school though, I began to do more things by myself - experiments with cooking, wildcrafting by gathering wild garlic and other things, and some occasional summer travels to my dad's in Georgia, where I would often hang out at my aunt's houseboat near Blythe Island outside of Brunswick.  And, I began to develop a musical soundtrack to my summers too, which included songs such as Mitch Miller's "Songs for a Summer Night" and Frank Sinatra's "Summer Wind."  A part of me misses those days in all honesty, and now being confined to a big city, I miss it more.  A small-town mountain kid from West Virginia, I am prone still to some culture shock even after being in cities for many years - Baltimore is not my first city, as I have lived in the Tampa Bay area for many years too.  But, even after exposure to the city, I still miss the small towns and farms I grew up around.  I also for the first time know the feeling of being a minority.  The Baltimore of 50 years ago, which was much more diverse, is now largely homogenous in terms of population - it is, like Atlanta, a majority Black city now and many former rich ethnic enclaves in Baltimore are now largely Black neighborhoods and they are prevalent with urban blight and decay.  Many small businesses are now closed, including the corner stores that one could find all over the city years ago, and garbage litters most of the city.  The more affluent neighborhoods in the cities are made up of upper-income White liberals, and at times the poor Blacks are easier to deal with than them.   Historically ethnic neighborhoods - predominantly Polish Fells Point, nearby Little Italy, and Greektown - now have a different composition.  Many of those areas where Poles, Italians, Greeks, and others once lived are now predominantly Spanish-speaking.  Little Italy could now easily be called Little Salvador now because of the growing number of Salvadorans.  However, oddly enough, many of the newer Spanish-speaking communities are generally decent people, and even among my students some of my best performers are Spanish-heritage students.  For the most part, the Blacks are too, and many of them are friendly on the buses and in the stores downtown.  But, the political and cultural atmosphere of the city here has been a bit of a culture shock for me personally, and there are days where I can go through a part of the city and all one sees is Black faces.  That in itself is not necessarily problematic, but the radical politics which often infects those communities is.   Unlike semi-rural Washington County 70 miles away, Baltimore is staunchly a liberal Democrat city, and even my more libertarian housemate here (who is himself Mexican-American) feels uncomfortable about sharing his views, and I personally try to steer clear of conversations about politics with both my students and my fellow teachers, as many of them hold these views too.  This leads me to a couple of interesting observations. 

I know, for one thing, that it is no accident I am here.  God brought me here for a reason, and I am where I am supposed to be.  That being said, I also know this is only a season as well - in time, I will move onto another place where I can do what I am supposed to do.  It is those things, as well as an active faith, that keeps me going.  And, that leads me back to summers.

I have reminisced before about what it was like as a kid to be entertained by simple pleasures - like when I first got into vintage big band music and would often stay up by myself at night in our kitchen in Kirby, WV, listening to Henry Boggan's Sunday night program on WBT-AM out of Charlotte, NC, and as I did so the window would be open with a gentle breeze in the little kitchen of our mobile home, and I only had the small stove light on in the kitchen as I listened while nibbling on saltines with butter and really sugary instant coffee.  Later, when we took care of an elderly woman in Terra Alta, I would spend my evenings late at night listening to either those radio programs or my then-modest record collection as I laid on my bed with the window open and my small globe lamp.  I would think and self-direct conversations, as well as later journaling or drawing, as I did that, and I also would do extensive reading as well.  Those simpler times were precious memories for me.  These days, I don't have as much liberty to do a lot of that like I used to, but I do have my moments of solitude and can enjoy that too.  Maybe in retirement in about a dozen years I will have more time to pursue true leisure like I once did, not being enslaved to the culture of acedia like I am now.  

Those are some of the week's thoughts, and I will wrap up now and grab my dinner, as I am writing this at home today.  Thanks again, and looking forward to next week's visit.  

The Challenges of Life

 As I write this for the week, I am in a very fatigued state.  As the school year is winding down, the effects of dealing with five classes of precocious high school juniors is being felt.  But, at home other things have been happening too which are worth note.

I mentioned that Barbara moved back with me in the house back in March, and in all honesty, it was probably a wise decision both on her and my parts.  Since around 2004, Barbara has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes as well as with high blood pressure, but now that she has reached her 60th birthday, her health issues are starting to manifest more now.  Last Thursday, as I was getting ready for work, Barbara said that she was really dizzy and then her left arm went limp and she ended up dropping her toothbrush down the sink.  As anything like this is serious, I called 911, and an ambulance arrived on site to assess her situation.  They ended up taking her to the ER at the local hospital, and they admitted her soon after.  She ended up staying until Saturday, and when they released her the diagnosis was serious.

Barbara, it turns out, experienced a mild stroke, and she was also diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and vertigo as well.  She is home now, but it has meant a few adjustments.  For one, I am back to taking the bus to work, and this morning that proved challenging as it is raining out and the driver on the 21 Route was sort of an idiot - she was not paying any attention to bells when people requested stops, and I almost missed mine.  I have dealt with the issue of public transportation before here, especially in Baltimore where like almost every other service it tends to be ran in an arbitrary fashion and doesn't take into regard the customer's wishes.  Buses, delivery people, taxi drivers - they all tend to do their thing whenever they feel like it and it can be very frustrating if you are on a schedule and need to get to work or to an appointment.  It also seems to be a trait my students have as well, as many of them outright ignore due dates for assignments.  I am still convinced it is a principality spirit over Baltimore, but I could be wrong too.  Any rate, the adjustment means getting up at 5:30 again, and then hanging out at the coffee shop in the afternoon while I wait for my bus transfer.  On the positive there however I did win a free coffee for knowing that Frank Sinatra's favorite booze was Jack Daniels - sometimes it pays to be a music collector!

That is really all the reflection I have for this week, so I will leave it there and have hopefully some better insights next week. 

Close Calls and Wrapping Up a School Year

 This past few days have been somewhat a roller coaster in a figurative sense.  There is a bit to cover so I will begin by just chronicling what happened.

To begin, some good news.  I have had a bit of an empty space in my heart since losing Lily at Christmas, and my goal was to find another Tortie cat like her.  I have been on the search for one over several months, and many of these possibilities were dead ends.  However, about two weeks ago I began expanding the search to look in Washington County, our old area, and the Humane Society there.  Turns out they had a 1-year-old Tortie named Electra who would have been perfect.  So, last Thursday Barbara had some business in Hagerstown anyway so we decided to stop by the Humane Society and check it out.  Electra was there, and she was really a cute little girl, but there were a couple of issues.  She was recovering from a surgery, but also she tended to be a little more temperamental and territorial than I wanted - with Mickey and Tippy at home, it would have created problems.  However, in the next cage there was an adorable little tabby mix named Rocky who captured our hearts almost instantly.  After some deliberation, I decided he would be the one we would choose, and I set it up with the desk lady.  A couple of days later, we got the call that he was neutered, microchipped, and ready to go, and on Saturday we went and got him.  It turns out he was the perfect cat for us - he was young (1 year) and he was also little, and he had the most outgoing and affectionate personality.   So, we got him home, and he is now very well-adjusted and is doing wonderfully.  And, the more I am with him, the more I love the little guy - he is the cutest and sweetest little animal anyone could imagine.  So, I anticipate a long and happy life with him. 

However, this bit of brightness was not without issue.   Barbara for some time has been having some serious health issues - her blood pressure and her sugar levels have been through the ceiling. She became a serious risk on Thursday after a visit to her doctor in Hagerstown, and they gave her a potent blood pressure medication called clonodine.  Unlike the relatively mild Lisinopryl I take, clonodine is extremely potent and can make a person drowsy.  The idiots at the clinic in Hagerstown where she went gave her a whopping three times her regular dose, and it was a scary ride home as I had to work overtime to keep her alert.  I had a brief experience with clonodine myself a few years back when I had an elevated blood pressure level and did not have my Lisinopryl at the time.  Barbara gave me one of those clonodine tablets before I went to sleep, and my goodness, that thing knocked me out!  My heart rate I recall dropped dramatically after taking it, and in all honesty Barbara was scared for me.  While in general my bp is good, I am hoping not to go on something like that in the future, because it is a dangerous drug.  Then, last night, Barbara decided she needed to go to a Walmart to get her diabetic supplies (test strips and lancets), but the problem is that in Baltimore you have to travel a considerable distance to find a Walmart.  We ended up going all the way out to White Marsh,  which is east of the city, and that drive was scary as well.  I was never so glad to get home than I was last night, as that ride was scary.  Barbara had elevated blood pressure and sugar levels, and she was dizzy, disoriented, and really in no condition to drive anywhere.  By the miraculous grace of God we managed to get home, but I told her that until a doctor stabilized her, she is better off not driving those distances for the time being, as it could be dangerous.  She thankfully agreed, and for now is confining her driving to just local destinations within a few miles of the house.  This morning she was doing somewhat better, but she still has some work to go.  And, she also had to spend Sunday night in the hospital because she appeared to be having either a TIA or stroke episode - she called me from the ER and her speech was very slurred and she was not doing well at all.  Yesterday, a home health care professional paid her a visit and checked her out, and she also now has her full complement of medications now.  Hopefully she will be stabilized soon, and she needs a lot of prayers. 

The other big thing I wanted to mention this week was that we are nearing the end of the school year.  In all honesty, I am ready for it to end because teaching full-time can really take a lot out of a person.  For people unfamiliar with teaching, it is often assumed that a teaching job is cushy and easy, but in reality there is a lot of responsibility involved.  For one thing, if you teach kids who are either minorities or lower-income (in the case of my school it is both), that creates a special level of challenges as some of these kids can be a handful.  Also, there are records to maintain, grades to post, and we have a principal here who is both calendar-crazy and meeting-obsessed, so he calls meetings at the drop of a hat and many of us who are teachers here find that to be a bit inconvenient.  While the principal himself is a nice guy, at times I don't think he fully comprehends his duties, and he tries to be micromanager as well as thinking every little thing requires a stupid meeting.  Fortunately, his tenure as interim principal is up at the end of this year, so we will have a far more capable leader in charge next year, and the current principal will be back to teaching classes like the rest of us.  Although the job has its challenges, I am happy to say there are also good things about it too, and I wanted to share one of those this week.

Although I only check my faculty mailbox sporadically, I went down and did so yesterday because I had to write up a student who seems to have a bad fascination with peppering his conversations with the "f bomb," and after repeated warnings I had enough. So, I wrote him what is called a JUG.  A JUG is essentially a serious student violation slip that will often earn a major consequence for the student's actions, and we write those out when a student has a discipline issue.  I don't like writing those in all honesty, so I use them sparingly as I have other ways to address the issues.  But this one student - I will call him Jake here to protect his identity - is a real pain in the butt.  He has an attitude, and he also loves using profanity and seems to do what he can to push the limits.  However, Monday I had enough so I issued him a JUG and my guess is that he will have an in-school suspension at some point.   I said all that though to get to what I found in my faculty mailbox once I took the JUG slip down to give his advisor.  In the box was a large posterboard, and on it the students had written some really nice things to me as their teacher, and it was one of the sweetest gestures I have gotten since being here.  It is amazing that when you start questioning whether it is worth it, God sends these little messages to remind you what it is all about.  While Jake and Jenn are two of the more negative manifestations of bad behavior of the students, it is a reminder to myself that most of these kids are actually good kids and they have unlimited potential.  I have seen some of them really shine in my classes too, and I am personally proud of them.  And, I will definitely treasure and keep that little "love note" from my students, as it is a beautiful expression of their appreciation and it really made my day.  Now I want to talk about another student who surprised me this year too.

Daniel is one of my regular students in the first class I teach.  Originally, I thought of him as kind of a pain, but for some reason he seems to really be drawn to me and I am really starting to like him.  Daniel is basically a good kid, although he can be a challenge at times, but he has an endearing quality about him and I respect that.  And, in this case, Daniel is his real name.  Daniel is smart, does very well on his work, and in recent months he is even displaying a growing maturity.  I have a feeling I may be seeing more of him next year, and that is not necessarily a bad thing - if he comes out of his high school experience being inspired and motivated by something I have showed him, then that makes it all worthwhile. 

There is not a lot more I need to say for this week, so I think I will wrap up until later.  Thanks for your visit, and look forward to seeing you soon. 

This Week

 I am not too inspired to do a catchy title for this week's discussion, so we will just self-title it "This Week."

There is not really a lot of earth-shaking stuff to say about this week, except that I am feeling happy that this year is about over - the group of kids I had were a challenge to say the least.  Also, upon starting this year late, I was proverbially "thrown to the wolves" with no textbooks for the classes I teach, and I had to come up with my own lesson plan for the year.  That was rough!  Thankfully, our new department chair is working on remedying the textbook issue for next year, so it should go much more smoothly.  Also, a change in administration - the school has just selected its new principal for next year, and I hear he is really effective - may aid in a smoother year next year.  The current principal who is an interim is a nice enough guy, but he leaves the impression that he doesn't know what the hell he is doing either and it has been more stressful as a result.  He will be teaching only next year, which means he gets to face some of our issues.  Hopefully that will give him a better appreciation for what his instructors have to deal with. 

I know it sounds like I am grousing about my job, but in reality I am thankful for it - it is the highest salary I have ever made, and it is also my first full-time teaching assignment which is definitely a change in career path now.  That being said, there are issues to face - one being that often I feel like a fish out of water ideologically as I am in essentially a liberal hotbed, both theologically and politically. This school is after all administered by the Jesuits, who are themselves a radical and controversial order.  So, despite the fact I teach Theology here, I cannot teach it like I want to in fear that it could stir up issues. That has nothing to do with the Jesuits specifically, but with the nature of the school itself - the faculty and student body are both comprised of many non-Catholic individuals,  and for a Catholic institution that creates a bit of a mess.  I have attempted to navigate it as best I could but at times it does prove interesting to say the least.  I am not planning on making this a long-term career though, and have my own feelers out for other things should the opportunity present itself.  In the meantime, I have renewed for another year here, and that will buy some time to look into my options at least.  And, it is also job security.  

The upside to this week is that we are approaching the end of the year, and that means it is not quite as intense of a work schedule for the next couple of weeks.  In total, we have maybe at most 10 actual classroom instruction days, as there are other events scheduled as the year wraps up.  However, I am feeling it now - I feel fatigued and a little burnt-out as the year wraps up, and there are days it is hard for me to get out of bed when that alarm goes off.  And these kids - most of them are minorities, from lower-income families, and there are behavioral issues with them.  While the overwhelming majority of them are generally OK, there are some consistent problems with some of them and I am at the point where I am just glad I don't have to deal with them as much.  Not to sound like it's racially-inferred though, the fact of the matter is that some of the worst offenders in my classes tend to be Black kids.  I have a high number of Hispanic students too, and although they are not perfect, for some reason they tend to be more manageable in class than the Black kids are.  And, that leads me to a couple of interesting observations for the week I wanted to share.

The seniors at this particular school are required to do what is called a capstone project.  Generally, these are projects I would associate with graduate- and doctoral-level courses, but they have those here for high school seniors.  Essentially, what the student does is focus on an issue related to social justice, and they do the research, ask questions, and propose solutions to the issue they address. The "social justice" aspect of this sends up some red flags, as the politically-liberal bent of many faculty here makes for some weird paths these students go down.  As part of the process, underclassmen and their teachers are invited during certain times to sit in on these, and I got to sit in on two of them over the past couple of days.  The one yesterday raised some interest, as it is both a good topic but also has some interesting debate.  It focused on food banks and what are called "food deserts," meaning areas where markets for purchasing food are not readily available.  The students who presented these proposed two excellent ideas I felt like could be practically implemented in some communities - one was community gardens, an idea I have always supported, but then one of the students proposed what are called "food depots," and that intrigued me a little.  As the student eloquently explained in his presentation, a food depot provides affordable (and nutritious) groceries in communities that lack grocery stores and markets, and based on the model of the business, they are essentially self-financing and have their own dividends.  It is a great idea actually, especially here in Baltimore, and it would also solve another problem as well.  Anyone who has visited Baltimore knows that the rowhouse here is a common fixture, but so many of these rowhouses are now abandoned and they look crappy.  While the City of Baltimore tried to implement an incentive program of selling some of these to developers who could renovate them at rock-bottom prices (some for as low as a buck) it is inadequate as a solution.  As the student mentioned, some of these abandoned rowhouses could be renovated and turned into food depots for communities lacking markets, and that would help.  It would be like resurrecting the small convenience stores and restaurants that used to be found on the first floors of many rowhouses years ago but are now gone.  But, that would only account for a fraction of the abandoned properties.  I think another feasible solution would be for some nonprofits to buy up those things, renovate them, and make them into transitional housing for the homeless population to get them off the streets.  Given that Baltimore winters can be brutal (this one sure was!) this would not be a bad idea.  Also, maybe it is time for Baltimore to get a big facelift and just demolish a lot of these abandoned rowhouses and open the land up for something more productive.  With Baltimore's population in steady decline, there is no need for a lot of ratty-looking abandoned buildings, so get rid of them!  And, given there are tens of thousands of rowhouses in the city (and I live in one now), there would still be plenty of them left to give Baltimore its uniqueness. Anyway, that is just some proposals I would have expanding what our students talked about on that topic.  

Another topic addressed on Monday was this idea of the minimum wage.  Many well-meaning individuals want a wage hike without fully understanding the ramifications that would entail.  I am personally all for a living wage - people have to earn their livings, so yes, a reasonable salary is logical. However, this is where it gets murky, and the question is what is an acceptable living wage?  Some political pundits - left-wing of course - have proposed as much as $25 an hour, but is that wise??  If that were to happen, it for one thing would create an endless cycle of higher taxes and inflation, thus necessitating even more wage increases, and that would prove disastrous for the economy in the long run.  Another problem is who this would affect?  A huge corporation is not going to pay much attention to wage hikes because they benefit from two areas.  First, they can increase prices to pad their own profits, thus causing more inflation.  Secondly, they would start looking for cheaper labor in places like India, China, and the Philippines, where wage laws are more lax and they could pay workers there practically nothing to do the same jobs an inflated minimum wage would demand here.  That too would be disastrous for American industry.   Also, it is no loss to the big companies - they can be compensated by higher prices of their goods or outsourcing for cheaper labor to other companies.  However, who it does affect badly is the small business owner.  A ridiculously high Federal minimum wage would practically bankrupt a small business, who may be already struggling.  The small businessman does not have the same leeway as the corporate CEO, so they don't have the resources to meet the challenge.  Therefore, perhaps the Federal government should get their noses out of wage issues and maybe delegate that to states or local governments instead.  The solution therefore should be something that benefits everyone - the laborer, the small business owner, and the corporate executive.  Until that is realized, potential problems exist with politicians legislating things they are too stupid to know anything about. 

All of these issues address a common theme - there needs to be an overhaul in our society one way or another.  There are systems in place now that do not work, and perhaps it is time to junk them and think about better ideas and options.  Until we do, America will never achieve the greatness it could have, and no other nation will either.  

That was a little political soapboxing today, so stay tuned until next visit.  Thanks again, and have a good remainder of the week. 

Special - Picking a New Pope

 I am writing again this week as much has happened.  Yesterday, after the Papal conclave, it was announced that we have a new Pope, Leo XIV.  He is significant in that he is also the first American Pope (he was born and raised in Chicago) and at the relatively young age (for a Pope anyway) of 69, he is guaranteed to have a long tenure.  He is the former Cardinal Robert Prevost, and he served as an Augustinian missionary in Peru.  So, who is this guy?  There is a lot to discover about him yet, and I wanted to give a couple of preliminary observations.  

On the outset, it looks like Pope Leo XIV by all indications is a lot more centrist than his predecessor, so that is a positive.  He has made some good statements condemning radical gender ideologies, and he also is uncompromisingly pro-life and pro-traditional marriage.  Additionally, the fact that he made his first appearance after being named Pope in more traditional papal vestments also speaks well for him.  He also took the name Leo, and the last pope that had that name (Pope St. Leo XIII) was one of the best Popes the Church has had.  These are positives.  However, like anyone who is high-profile and also being a human being, he has a few imperfections too that are somewhat concerning, so I will address those next.

It seems that the new pontiff was somewhat lax on the sex abuse scandals that rocked the Church some years back, and although he has perhaps remedied that it will no doubt still haunt him throughout his papacy.  Also, despite the fact he is thankfully more nuanced than Francis was, he does have a few controversial takes on immigration, and he has been critical of El Salvador and Trump's stance on that despite the fact that both Trump and the President of El Salvador are combatting very real threats to society (notably dangerous MS-13 criminals) that leftist politicians seem to be fighting them on - I am totally appalled at how the political Left is so supportive of dangerous criminals when they totally ignore people who have been victims of those scumbags.  This may create a few issues later as well.  No Pope in the past several decades has been perfect on everything - even John Paul II had some faults, and in all honesty I loved his papacy - so I can perhaps deal with a few things like this.  And, now that I have analyzed Leo XIV's initial impressions, let me give a couple of conclusions.

I am cautiously optimistic about Pope Leo XIV - he seems to be a Pope who wants to heal fissures in the Church, and I am completely supportive of that.  However, I am hoping he does not turn into the radical that Francis was, because in all honesty I am ready to jump a sinking ship if the Catholic Church continues down that trajectory Francis pushed it on.  For me, the Polish National Catholic Church is not out of the question, and I would even go as far as to even return to the Continuing Anglicans if necessary.  I am uncompromisingly Catholic, so Evangelicalism is not even an option.  However, if I need a new church home, I am keeping channels open.  This Pope was just elected, so it's going to take a little time to see how his pontificate shapes up.  And, that will determine my course in the long run as well. 

Thank you for allowing me to share in an uncharacteristic second reflection this week, and I will see you next time. 

Getting Settled and Important Decisions

 As I write down thoughts for this week, I am at what seems like a major milestone since our involuntary displacement back in October, when losing our home in Hagerstown led me to eventually come here to Baltimore after receiving a job offer.  A lot of our things are still in storage over in Martinsburg, but this week I was able to get a significant portion of items - my record collection - and bring it back with me.  My record collection is greatly reduced now - about 1/3 the size it was - and thankfully I was able to get my large collections (the two Franklin Mints, the Singers collection, and several rare Reader's Digest boxed sets), and those were what were integral to starting anew.  Although the place I am in now constrains settling in too much, I was able to get those records and house them on a new special shelf I got a few weeks back, and they look great there now.  There are other aspects of settling in that are still being sorted out, but for the most part I am on track to starting to rebuild a life, and thankfully I have kept a core aspect of my life to give it a good start. 

As I am at school today, it is the work-study day for my students that they have once a week.  The school year is starting to wind down some, and I am mainly focused on getting the students prepped for their upcoming finals in a couple of weeks.  With the school year quickly wrapping up, it is only natural that some issues flare, and I had one of those yesterday.  A young man in my final class of the day decided to act like a jackass, and somehow he managed to procure some cheese and he was being messy and destructive with it, even trying to damage computer equipment of his classmates.  When confronted, he was also very disrespectful and rude and I had to throw him out of class.  I have a phone conversation with his mother later, and hopefully when he returns tomorrow he will have a better attitude.  At the risk of sounding controversial again, I am noticing this behavior primarily in the Black students - I don't know if it is their environment they live in, or what it is, but they tend to be some of my most difficult challenges.  Then, when I see how some adults in this city act, it is understood that they are modeling their own behaviors after bad behavior of the adults.  When I addressed this with a couple of other students the other day who were profusely using profanity in class, one tried to say it was "Black culture," at which point I countered that no culture encourages acting like a jackass, and I told the student flatly that his excuse was BS.  In talking with another teacher, I found out what I had suspected as well - the onerous COVID measures enacted a few years back also played a part in the bad behavior as well, given that many of the students I now teach were middle schoolers then and therefore they lost a lot of valuable learning time.  I am hoping that next year will be better, and I am also planning on being more prepared for the group I will be getting next year as well.

Dealing with some difficult students, in particular minority kids who are from low-income areas of town, can be a challenge.  You always wonder how much they actually respect and appreciate what you do, especially if you are a different ethnicity from them.  On many levels, I know these kids - having grown up poor and with a single parent myself, I can relate to them.  But, it has been over 40 years since I was their age, and they have some different mindsets than I did when I was their age too.  That perhaps is the greatest challenge of all.  One thing I feel should be mentioned though is that there are many similarities between the rural Appalachian roots I have and the backgrounds of many of these inner-city Black kids.  There are things I observe in their culture that I readily identify with, such as large mouthy women for one thing.  I have seen many large Black women who almost automatically make me think of my own late grandmother, as they have a similar attitude to hers.  This is another reason why racism is so wrong - at the end of the day, people of diverse cultures find out they share more in common than they have differences, and that is a good reflection point.  The problem with the rich White liberal yuppies a lot of the time is that they fail to understand either the Black culture of the city or the White rural culture of the Appalachians, and over the years those individuals have often displayed either patronizing behavior at best or outright contempt and mockery of us at worse.  That unfortunately exacerbates things such as racism, and it even makes cleaning up certain communities look like an exercise in discrimination.  Let's talk about that for a moment.

There is a word thrown around in recent years that has been a hot-button topic, and that word is gentrification.  What is it exactly?  The classic definition of it is when a blighted area of a city is targeted for renovation, and the downside of this is often it causes the cost of living to rise in said areas.  Its opposite is urban blight.  Many people who are on the DEI bandwagon view the concept of gentrification like the F bomb, and in doing so they actually cause more harm than good.  The harm they cause is specifically in how they define the terms - to some, any cleanup or restoration project in a given neighborhood gets the label "gentrification" when it may not be the case that it is.  Cleaning up urban blight is not "gentrification" - rather, it is trying to improve the standard of living for the people who live there.  There is no evil in tearing down dilapidated buildings which have the potential of becoming crack houses, and there is also no harm in picking up the trash and cleaning up the neighborhood a little bit - that is simply taking pride in one's community, not "gentrification."  Now, in order to diffuse the controversy, these efforts should be grassroots initiatives in which the residents make the call to clean up and improve their own communities, and that way no accusations of racism or anything else will hold water because efforts are on the part of the people that live there and not outsiders.  I have seen some positives to this end in some Baltimore neighborhoods - there are now many beautiful painted murals on some blocks, and I have also seen more community gardens and box libraries around, but there is still a lot of work to be done.  The city government has a lot to do with that too - for many years, the Baltimore government has been a source of corruption (after all, Nancy Pelosi's father was a corrupt mayor here back in the 1950s), and I am thinking more public revenue is going into the deep pockets of bureaucrats rather than being invested in improving the city.  Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a change in that on the horizon, and as a result, in recent years the population of Baltimore has begun to decline.  It remains to be seen where this goes, but hopefully and prayerfully a change in direction will come soon. 

Onto other matters, as I settle into my new place, I am slowly returning to a routine I have had interrupted over the past several months.  Being able to establish a new home takes time, but thankfully I have the salary and other means at this point to make that happen.  I have invested in new clothes for instance - the first time I have done that in several years - and I am also beginning to watch my health more.  That latter issue is becoming more evident, as lately my body has been feeling its age - I have a continual pain in my lower back, and there are days I am really stiff and it is hard to walk.  And, this despite the climbing and other things I need to do - I think I have climbed more steps in the past six months than I had the whole majority of my life previous.  Also, there are other parts of my life that have changed, some for the better and others not so much, but change is an inevitable fact of life because life marches on.  Change should never come at the expense of compromising principles though, and hopefully anyone reading this understands that too. 

The other big news of today is the Papal Conclave, in which the Cardinals of the Church will be gathering to deliberate on who will succeed Francis to the Barque of St. Peter.  I am hoping that orthodoxy and grounding will prevail, and that we don't end up with a worse disaster than Francis, but I am thinking I need a strategy just in case.  Near the campus here is Holy Cross Parish, a congregation of the Polish National Catholic Church that is around 112 years old.  The PNCC in recent years has adopted a more conservative approach to its doctrine and practice, and it is also still fully Catholic - they are actually currently in dialogue with the Anglican Catholic Church, my former communion.  If we end up with a controversial Pope, I am seriously thinking about changing my allegiance from Rome to a more orthodox form of Catholicism that is more compatible with Magisterial tradition, and the PNCC checks all the boxes for that.  At this point, I am maintaining a "wait and see" approach to see what happens, as thankfully the Church in the Third World is much more orthodox, and if a Pope were to come from those regions, it would be an answer to prayers.  I will continue to chronicle this until we see what happens, and then I will act accordingly.

Thanks again for allowing me to share this week, and will see you next time. 

Spring Challenges

 The first full week back to work after Spring Break has been a busy one, and I am feeling it.  Due to Barbara's car having to have brakes done today, I had to go back to my 5:30AM regimen for a couple of days - that was rough!  As the school year winds down here, I am feeling the fatigue - even a week of Spring Break didn't totally resolve that.  The week's reflections have to do with some situations I have faced and I wanted to dive into that now.

For anyone who has ever taught school, it is not surprising that the group of 80 students I teach over 5 class periods is a pretty diverse lot.  Some students are really good, and a few are so exceptional I wish I had about 20 more of them in each class.  Then there are the others - the pains in the tuchus that often cause the biggest issues in classes.  I want to talk about one of those in particular now.

At the Jesuit high school I teach at, the class periods are called "Codes" and throughout the day there are seven of them plus an Advisory (read "home room" for that).  I generally teach five classes in a day - Code 1, then a break, then Codes 3 and 4a, then lunch, and finally Codes 5 and 6.  The overall majority of the students in these classes are not an issue - they are not perfect, and on occasion they require a little extra supervision when they get distracted, but for the most part it is not anything I can't handle.  However, since starting here back in November I have a group in my Code 1 class that honestly give me headaches every day.  Some of them are just pains - they are likeable pains as individuals, but still pains - and the rest are generally typical high school juniors.  However, I have one student that has been giving me particular challenges since I began teaching here, and I am at my wits' end as to what to do with this person.  She is a female, and for her protection I will just call her Jenn here instead of her real name.  I want to talk about this individual in-depth now as I feel that sharing it will help me deal with the stress this person causes me at times. 

Jenn is about 17 years old, Black, and she generally does have a sharp mind.  Her problem though is an attitude - she is what, to use the immortal words of Whoopie Goldberg's nun character in the movie Sister Act 2, a "Rita Diva with a 'tude."  Since starting, she has displayed nothing but disrespect for me when I teach class, and she spends a large part of the class laughing and talking loudly with her three friends.  And, my goodness, she has a mouth too - that girl hurls "f bombs" like a porcupine shoots its quills, and she doesn't respect being told to stop.  This situation came to a head yesterday when I had to get the Dean of Students involved, and he summarily had a conversation with her about her attitude.  This, of course, made her very upset and she more or less declared war on me.  Other teachers have had similar issues with her, noting that she talks loudly, abuses hall pass privileges, and she was described by another teacher as "moody."  Trying to be fair about the situation, I am rationalizing that maybe she has issues at home, maybe issues with "female trouble" at certain times of the month, or maybe something else is bugging her.  Or, she could even have some psychological/emotional issues as well that maybe have not been diagnosed.  Whatever the case, she is problematic, and students like her make teachers second-guess their career choices.  All I can do is pray for her, as she already has said she isn't going to talk and is outright refusing to exercise reason.  However, Jenn represents a bigger problem I have seen in the Black community in Baltimore, and I wanted to delve into that a bit now.

Since moving here just over 6 months ago, adjusting to Baltimore has been a bit of culture shock.  The demographic is radically different even from the city I knew here as a kid 50 years ago - it is perhaps, along with Atlanta, one of the few cities in the country where Blacks make up the bulk of the population.  That in itself is not really a problem, because Blacks are human beings, and no two of them are exactly alike because they are all individuals too.  However, a mindset (and I would venture to even suggest a spiritual bondage) has captured this community as a whole, and it is often seen in attitudes that some of them display.  There are individuals who have been very sloppy with their work, others who have had volatile tempers (besides Jenn in class, this has happened with at least 3 other students, as well as with a delivery person and with a neighbor) and explode at the slightest hint of difference with them - and then the "f bomb."  I don't know what it is with a lot of Blacks here, but that word is almost like a culturally-defined part of their language, and that is disturbing.   Not only that, but they call each other the "n" word as well - a White person using that word would be rightly and quickly labeled racist, yet I hear these Blacks calling each other that all the time.  This is something I want to address now, as it is a serious matter.

The "n" word originated from a slang word for "Negro," which in Spanish means "Black" as it describes skin color.  In the late 19th and early 20th centuries though, the term was adopted by racists such as the KKK as a derogatory name for a person of color, and since then it has been considered an ethnic slur, and rightfully so.  It is a word I try to steer clear of using, as the consequences for even accidentally saying it would be dire - this, despite the fact that late Catholic writer Flannery O'Connor titled a short story using the term which actually taught a good lesson.  Yet, despite the taboo associated with this word, I hear Blacks calling each other that all the time, and they fail to realize that when the do that they are actually enabling real racists to justify using that word.  I try to convey to my students that they should not call each other that, as it does justify others using it as an insult against them.  Also, using language like that is a blatant form of disrespect too - no one should be even calling their close friends offensive terms like that.  Lest I get accused of being an "uppity White guy" for pointing this out, let me clarify a couple of things.  First, I have some Black ancestors in my family tree as well, which means I too am a descendant of slaves.  Secondly, I find equally offensive terms such as "hick" or "redneck" when used to label small-town blue-collar Whites, as well as the use of the terms "honkey" or "Cracker" to call White people.  In all honesty, those perjorative words directed against Whites should be treated the same way as the "n" word, as they are used in the same context.  NO ethnic slur should be acceptable in our society, regardless of whom it refers to.  Ethnic slurs diminish a person, reducing them to a skin color or ethnolinguistic identity which robs them of their individuality.  While I don't necessarily think that "hate crimes" laws should be enacted for using such terminology, at the same time I think it should be socially discouraged.  Even if people are using those terms as part of the same ethnic group, it needs to stop - if an outsider hears that, it could enable them to be more bigoted too.  Any rate, just wanted to address that issue.

The Jenns among us are an inevitable reality - we will inevitably cross paths with individuals like her, and it can be unsettling being exposed to such a person.  However, it challenges us to learn, to face the negative parts of human nature and come up with a constructive response to them.  If that is the end game of the experience, then it will be valuable to us.  Adversity and negativity in our daily interactions with others is a fact of fallen nature - it comes knocking whether invited or not.  The fact that it is there is not the real issue - it is how we address and overcome it that builds character and provides a way forward.  While I am hoping this Jenn issue in my teaching vocation has an immediate end soon, I perhaps will look back on it in the future and realize that I am a different person now because of it.  However, the outcome rests on the reaction to the circumstance - act properly, and it's a good life lesson.  Act wrongly, and it could be catastrophic both to oneself as well as the person who is the source of that discomfort.  I have been through other situations with disagreeable people, and surprisingly a few turned out better and I actually have dear friends now who once were mortal enemies to me.  Situations like this also call for a lot of committed prayers too - when we cannot rely on our own strength, we seek out God and his aid, which he will freely give us if we ask in the right state of mind and heart.   The only bad part of that is at times it comes late - we could have issues for years and then only at the midnight hour do we find the answer.  That is a big life lesson to take to heart.

Thank you for allowing me to share this week, and will see you again soon. 

Reflections on the Death of a Pope and Personal Prayer Practices

 I finally got a week off from work as our school where I teach had its Easter break (Spring break to other schools).  While it was far too short and another week would not have hurt, it was a nice time for relaxation and catching up on some things too, which I did.  A few things happened during that week though which are worth mentioning.

On Monday the 21st, Pope Francis passed away.  As a Catholic myself, this is a very significant thing as it means that soon a new Pontiff will be sitting on the Chair of St. Peter in Rome.  I have managed to live through about 5 Popes so far (Paul VI, John Paul I, John Paul II, Benedict XVI, and now Francis).  The bulk of my life - beginning in my childhood and going into my mid-30s - was the Pontificate of Saint John Paul II.  JPII was a good Pope overall - not perfect, but he had many great qualities.  Benedict was also a good Pope, as he championed orthodoxy and a return to our roots as a Church.  Francis though was a whole different breed altogether.  He was both the first Jesuit Pope as well as the first from the New World (an Italo-Argentinian by birth).  But, he was also a Pope who had a reign that tended to be extremely controversial.  On one hand, he was sort of a strong advocate for the marginalized, which I suppose was a good virtue.  On the other, he also had some issues - he was not exactly theologically orthodox, and at times his ill-tempered way of handling people coupled with his somewhat arbitrary dismissal of certain aspects of Church Tradition were concerning.  The introduction of the disastrous document Traditionale Custodis is a case in point.  Francis hated conservatives and traditionalists, and found ways to be punitive against those who disagreed with him in what appeared to be retaliatory.  What he did in particular to Cardinal Burke, Bishop Strickland, and Fr. Frank Pavone, among others, was shocking, while at the same time he touted individuals such as the "Rainbow Jesuit" James Martin.  Add to that the Pachamama mess and this whole "Synodality" thing, and it caused much friction in the Church.  So, how does a more faithful Catholic who values Tradition view Francis?  Let me give a brief proposal of my own.

In the long run, Francis was a validly-elected Pope, so to that end he was to be respected in his official capacity.  And, on occasion he did some good stuff, such as upholding the sanctity of life and traditional marriage.  However, on the other hand, Francis was radical, by theological standards he was a liberal, and his personality was not always the most genial either (he was called in some ecclesiastical circles in Argentina "Old Vinegar Face").  That being said, it is possible to do two things at once.  First, we pray that he had a conversion of heart before his repose, and we also remember his soul as we do all departed. Second, we can also still in good conscience take issue with some of Francis's more radical ideas, and we can pray that his successor will be someone much more nuanced and conciliatory to the conservatives like myself he tried (whether intentionally or not) to alienate and oppose.  The possibility of a more orthodox Pope, even moderately so like Benedict XVI was, is good - some of the candidates for consideration include Cardinal Zen of China and Cardinal Sarah of Africa, both of whom are very orthodox.  As we start looking toward who the successor to Francis will be, I just pray our leaders understand the needs of the Church and don't push political nonsense.  

It is also worth mentioning that there have been much worse Popes than Francis - by the standards of some in history, Francis was mild actually.  The Bride of Christ is still present on this earth, so its leadership is human and prone to imperfection.  Therefore, bad and corrupt clergy are a given.  What we cannot do is let the bad eggs and rotten fruit taint the entire Church, and therefore we use discretion when trying to separate the actions and legacies of fallible leadership from the eternal vocation of the Bride of Christ herself.  This is why I will refrain personally from attacking Francis directly, although I do have many fundamental disagreements with his tenure as Pope.  Even the best and holiest of Popes have moments of displaying their own concupiscent nature - the Pope, after all, is not God and thus is subject to many of the same temptations, limitations, and other challenges we all deal with as human beings.  It is a Pope's attitude and ultimately the reality inside his heart that makes the difference, and only God can truly know the heart.  So, in summary, we can pray for the soul of Francis while still disagreeing with many of the things he has done, and there is no conflict with our faith in doing so.  

Aside from the passing of Pope Francis, we experienced Easter 2025 this past Sunday.  Another year surviving the fasts and abstinences of Lent, and now it is an adjustment getting back into a more festal mindset - no more seafood or cheese pizzas on Fridays, the return of the "Gloria" at Mass, and other things including the shift in the daily decade of the Rosary I pray from the Sorrowful Mysteries to the Glorious Mysteries.  And, that leads me to a brief discussion of my own devotional practice.

I have neither the time nor the focus to pray a complete Rosary every day, so for the past few years I have structured my devotions this way.  To begin, I say a decade of the Rosary, followed by doing the daily Mass reading, and then more personal prayers.  By saying a decade of the Rosary, that requires an explanation.  Each set of Mysteries of the Rosary consist of five decades - each focusing on one Mystery within the five.  The Mysteries are divided thus - The Joyful, the Luminous (introduced 20 years ago by Pope St. John Paul II), the Sorrowful, and the Glorious.  Traditionally, certain days of the week were set aside to pray a specific set of Mysteries, and many people who practice praying the Rosary still do this.  However, I do it differently.  For me, I focus on a set of Mysteries for a week (one each day) and then I organize them according to the Church year.  So, this is my pattern to go by:

1. Advent, Christmas to Epiphany - the Joyful Mysteries

2. Epiphany to Quinquegessima Sunday - the Luminous Mystery

3. The seasons of Lent and Holy Week - the Sorrowful Mysteries

4.  From Easter through Trinity Sunday - the Glorious Mysteries

5. Ordinary time between Trinity and the First Sunday of Advent - one set of Mysteries each week.

Doing it this way for me is like more or less living the life that Christ lived as the Mysteries are then coordinated to the chronological order of Christ's life.  I would even consider it a way of "walking in the footsteps of Jesus" because it then takes on a greater significance.  The Rosary is not a mandated devotion, and therefore it can be adjusted and practiced in a way that reflects the devotee's convictions without compromising Magisterial truth. It is a different type of devotion, and as far as I know, I may be the only person who does it like this.   However, the spiritual benefits of doing it for me are fruitful, and thus I feel right doing it my way in this case. 

The problem with the Rosary - even an adjusted one like the one I pray - is that it can try patience.  You have to keep track of the number of "Ave Marias" said and then make sure you are on the right Mystery.  And, when you are pressed for time in the morning in particular, it can be a hurried exercise.  Some of the prayers, in all honesty, get a bit tedious - the "Glory Be" comes to mind here.  But, they are there for a reason so we overcome our own limitations by being faithful in our devotion.  I no doubt will have some staunch person who will gasp in horror that I said that and say in Greta Thunberg fashion "How dare you!!"  But, let's be honest - a consistent prayer life is not always comfortable or convenient, and even the most tedious of prayers hold spiritual benefit for us.  So, despite hurrying through those tedious acts sometimes, God sees thankfully our hearts, and he sees our faithfulness.  And for those who would take issue, please be honest with yourselves too - are you always ecstatic to say prayers??  I would wager a month's salary to say negative on that, because to say otherwise means you are lying.  We don't have to feign religious zeal to be faithful, and thank God we have a merciful God who understands that.  Even Jesus Himself grew weary at times of praying in all honesty, so we are in good company.  

This was a slightly different approach from my usual observations today, but I nonetheless hope they will give the reader some edification.   Thanks for allowing me to share, and will see you next time!

Dealing With A Spectrum of Things

 As I reflect this week, there is something I wanted to just share.  This past Monday, Barbara had to go to the MVA office over on Reisterstown Pike here in Baltimore to renew her driver's license.  While that process ended up being smoother than expected, there was another problem.  Let me first give some background for context.

I know Baltimore well - I have connections to this city going back to my kindergarten days.  One thing I know is that there are some people here - more so in recent years - that can be very rude.  At the risk of starting a particular controversy, I need to also note the demographic.  Baltimore is by and large a significantly Black city - with the exception of possibly a city like Atlanta, the Black population in Baltimore is a very noticeable one.  While most Blacks in the city are generally easy to get along with and cause no issues, there is a notable exception to that rule.  Some Blacks here tend to get confrontational, nasty, and also are adept at throwing around the "f-bomb" like it is blowing their nose or something.  I have seen delivery drivers and others get very hostile for no reason and when they get like that, I don't engage them - they get a door closed in their face quickly.  I also have a few students I teach like this too - you can't tell them anything without a nasty resistance on their part, and in all reality, there is no call for that.  Barbara had her own experience this past Monday at the MVA, and I want to recount that now.

Driver's license offices tend to have long lines and are a bureaucratic mess in many cases, and the one in Baltimore is no exception.  As we were waiting in line for Barbara to renew her license on Monday, directly in front of us was a short Black woman with long hair and those eyes - you know the look; they are itching for a fight.  In all honesty, the woman reminded me of an ill-tempered, yappy dachshund.  She kept eyeing us in the line, and at one point she started yelling about "her space being encroached upon" by us (in reality, Barbara and I were standing where we were supposed to be).  Barbara had been recovering from a short illness and was in no mood, and surprisingly Barbara was the one who got assertive when she was attacked by this yappy, nasty little woman.  I took on the role of a more nuanced peacekeeper, letting the woman know life was too short and then telling her to have a nice day, which set the little Black wench off more.  And, to complicate things, she had an ally standing behind us who all of a sudden decided to get his two-cents-worth in - this guy had goofy bleach-blonde spikey hair and wore a pair of pink shoes, so it was evident which side he buttered his proverbial bread on.  So, Yappy and her flamboyant friend were ganging up on us for nothing.  I was very happy to get out of that place as was Barbara.  While the rest of the day was generally OK - we ate afterwards at Hip Hop Chicken, a very good local fried chicken chain in the area - the aftershock of that experience was felt for some time.  

The way Baltimore people act as contrasted with the way I grew up is like night and day.  Generally, even if you are in a bad mood, you maintain a certain degree of decorum in a public place.  If perhaps you feel inconvenienced by close quarters, you just politely ask the person for space and generally you get an apology, and they oblige.  However, it seems as if Baltimore has a deficiency of decent manners nowadays, as I see that almost on a daily basis.  Even at school, there is a rude 10th-grade Theology teacher whose classroom is across the hall, and his bearing screams arrogance and a big ego.  An incident with him happened the other day as well.  One very good rule that this school has is that students cannot be unsupervised in any classroom, and if the teacher leaves the door gets locked.  The dean of the school sent this out in an email, but the particular teacher in question tended to ignore it and act like he knew nothing about it.   So, one afternoon when I was either taking a restroom break between classes or going across the street to the Royal Farms to get a Starbucks Frappuccino (I really love those!) and a pastry for breakfast, I had locked my door as prescribed by school policy and stepped out.  When I returned, there was a student leaving my classroom!  When I asked her what she was doing there, she said that Mr. ______, the teacher in question, had let her in to take a test.  That didn't sit well with me as I know how this guy is, and later today he stopped and asked if a student could take a test today.  I told him as long as a teacher was in here, it was no problem, but they cannot be unsupervised in a classroom like that.  The student he was going to send here for a test never showed up, although I told him I was here, and it was OK as long as I was in the class.  Hopefully though, the pompous teacher got the hint though and will be more respectful of his colleagues and school policy next time. 

The other issue I have with so many of these local Blacks in particular is their language - it is volatile!  They call each other the "n" word all the time, and they drop the "f bomb" like it is a bodily function.  I teach in a school that at this point is about 52% Black and 48% Hispanic, and the differences between the two groups is astounding.  The Hispanic students (with a few exceptions) tend to be quieter and more respectful, while the Blacks are loud, disruptive, and generally not participating in the class discussions or anything else.  While this is not true of all of them, a significant number of the write-ups and disciplinary issues I address in a given week are largely the Black students - I do have a number of good Black students too, and greatly appreciate them, but the proportion of trouble that comes up usually has a Black student involved in it.  Our society is afraid to address this problem because one runs the risk of being accused of "racism" if the issue is raised, but the facts do speak for themselves.  And I want to tackle the proverbial elephant in the room now.

Racism by any group against others is always wrong, regardless.  And no doubt true racism is out there.  However, what often happens is that Blacks and some others use the "race card" to validate bad behavior, and this is a problem.  Also, the way they denigrate each other by calling each other the "n" word is concerning.  When they do that, they fail to understand that they are diminishing themselves and therefore justifying actual racists to use that term too.  And that "f bomb" issue - what is with many of our local Blacks using that so often and freely??  I understand an occasional slip happening if one is exasperated or something, but seriously - when you hear these Black kids in school in particular talk, they are peppering "f bombs" liberally in their conversations.  And on the city bus too - many use that word just to hear themselves say it I think.  It really does not paint a good picture of Black culture in America, as many other groups see this behavior as being nasty and uncouth.  As I said, not all Blacks do this thankfully, and there are many decent Blacks who are just as shocked by this language as I am.  However, when most of this stuff is being done by a particular demographic, it creates several problems.  Let me go into at least two of them.

To begin, it is not helping them move ahead in their lives.  Black culture has many good things to preserve and a person who is Black should be proud of those things.  However, being rude, confrontational, and foul-mouthed is not flattering, and many Blacks need to understand how other people see them when they act like complete jackasses.  Secondly, instead of eradicating racism, it perpetuates it in two forms.  First, it makes Blacks more racist against others.  Secondly, when other groups see this behavior, it alters their perception of Blacks and negative experiences with rude Black individuals can be a toxic seed of racism against all Blacks.  If the Black community in America wants to show progress, there are several things they can do to nurture it.  Let's talk about a few of them.

For one, Blacks need to learn basic manners and stop using cusswords as a form of casual conversation.  A Black person who is articulate and doesn't resort to "ghetto-style" lingo and attitude will garner instant respect.  Secondly, let's address this "urban blight" issue that Baltimore and other cities have.  Urban blight describes what you see on many streets - trash all over, abandoned and dilapidated houses and other buildings, and copious amounts of ugly graffiti everywhere.  In recent years, when these issues were addressed by reform-minded people who wanted to clean up neighborhoods, the people who had the ideas were often condemned by activists as promoting "gentrification" and thus cleanup efforts in many cities screeched to an abrupt halt.  I find it interesting that the political Left hollers about the fiction of "climate change" and yet you never see them picking up the abundant trash or trying to improve the lot of many Blacks in those communities by upgrading their homes and encouraging local business.  Instead, those individuals (usually rich White liberals - go figure!) decry any effort to clean up as being racist and promoting gentrification.  If cities are to improve their qualities of life, that attitude needs to change.  If you don't want White investors revitalizing neighborhoods, then encourage the Blacks who live there to do so.  While there are small and bright exceptions now in many neighborhoods, by and large they miss it by infinity.  That too needs to change. 

You have heard my convictions on this today, and hopefully I won't be misrepresented as being "racist" because I am challenging Blacks to adjust their behavior a little and take some pride in their own communities and stop calling each other "n" words and other such garbage.  Until the overall Black population of this city in particular understands that progress will be delayed if not eliminated.  Thank you for allowing me to share. 

Catching Up

 It has been a couple of weeks since last writing, and I need to do some catching up on myself as it is warranted.  Luckily today is a slow day at school, as my students are in what is called MAP testing for the majority of the day.  Therefore, there are a few things I wanted to catch up and reflect upon since opportunity allows.

To begin, the final part of my doctoral journey arrived Monday - I have a complete set of doctoral regalia now.  It feels good to have that, and now I feel like a Ph.D.   With the diploma, dissertation, and regalia, and almost a year to get it all, I feel complete.  I also was able to get my article submitted to the academic journal and it should be up for publication soon.  Having three published articles and a conference presentation will go far in my pursuits of opportunities.

The second thing to talk about is my music collection.  I have decided to include all the music I want to preserve on a very large flash drive - it has 124 gigs storage - and so far I have a MASSIVE collection that I have both gleaned from other drives as well as downloading from Internet Archive - there are several large collections of original recordings of many obscure dance orchestras on there, and I downloaded a significant number of them.  It doesn't totally replace my entire CD collection I lost, but it is a good start.  My plan with my music collection now is to just get CD reissues of some of my favorite original LPs that are not available as downloads, and this third incarnation of my music collection will be a lot smaller but still substantial.  I won't go through the extensive cataloging system I had before either, because frankly I don't need to now. I have literally shelves of original recordings now within a device that comfortably fits in the palm of my hand.  Technology advances, and I guess I need to keep up.

I also want to talk about dreams again.  I have done extensive discussions over the years about dream interpretation, as I believe that dreams are significant.  Unfortunately a huge number of resources on the market on this topic are often done by occult/New Age writers who get a lot wrong, and what I aim to do is develop a Christian understanding of dreams as they are also a prominent thing in Scripture as well.  Understanding and writing down dreams is something I feel is integral to one's emotional and spiritual health, as God uses dreams to talk to us sometimes.  That being said, I wanted to share a recent dream I had which really has stuck with me.

In the dream, I was in what looked like a facility with my house nearby, and a little girl of about 7 or 8 was up for adoption.  She was of Mongolian heritage in the dream, and she was such a tiny, dainty little thing and so beautiful.  I was ready to adopt her, and was in the process of doing so.  As I recall, in the story the little one was more or less abandoned by her parents, and she was somehow believing they were coming back for her.  However, in the dream I was talking to the office clerk who informed me her parents returning was something that wasn't going to happen, and she encouraged me to adopt the little one. The girl at first was hesitant, as she was still thinking her parents would miraculously show up, but in time my heart was warmed when she called me "Daddy."  I really felt connected to that little girl, and I felt a deep love for her as if she were my own.  There most certainly is something to a vivid dream like that, and upon researching it, I learned the following things:

1. New beginnings and change

2. A desire to nurture and care

3. Embracing the unknown

4. A strong desire for family or love

5. Expression of desires or needs I may not be consciously aware of

6. Assuming new responsibilities

In many of these instances, all of this has happened in the past 6 months or so as I have been forced for one thing to embrace the unknown and assume new responsibilities.  I also do want family, and I would love to have something to nurture as my own.  There are also things I know I am not aware of but my dreams bring that to the surface of my subconscious. And, the whole idea of new beginnings and change is something I have been forced to embrace over the past 5 years, as I have been in a constant state of flux.  There are some of these areas I am aware of but cannot discuss them as the time is not right for them here, but my goal is to reflect upon that when it comes to pass later and then share it.  However, these dreams are not an accident nor are they simply a reaction to the pizza I had for dinner yesterday. On the contrary, they both reflect real feelings but also may contain a message.  It is up to me to determine what that is now. 

This week's reflection is somewhat eclectic and brief, but it summarizes what has been going on.  I should be back again next week with further insights on things, so thanks for stopping by and will see you soon. 

Making Some Reflections

 I am writing twice this week as it is a slower week.  Today at school we are just having parent/teacher conferences virtually and we have a slow timeslot now.  But, that gave me some impetus for refleciton today so allow me to ramble as I share.  

From this fourth-floor vantage where my classroom window is, I have a panoramic view of everything.  If I look west, there is the skyline of downtown Baltimore.  If I look east, the glittering golden domes of St. Michael Church, a Byzantine Ukrainian Catholic parish, catch the rays of sunlight which intensify the golden splendor of the beautiful onion-shaped domes of the church.  Looking south, there is a nice view of the Inner Harbor, which if you go straight down Chester Street here will take you there.  A variety of boats of different sizes are hitched to docks down on the harbor, and in the distance the huge smokestacks of a factory can be seen.  While the weather is hazy this morning, it is the first day of Spring and thankfully the chilliness of the winter is a distant memory (at least for now - March can still have the potential of a big snow if one should come into the area).  Although I am battling a cold right now - my throat thankfully is not as scratchy but the stuffiness of my nose is still a thing and the unmistakeable histamine smell is lingering in my nostrils - I am able to function OK and the fact we have a relatively light day here helps a lot.  Let me now just vent a bit.

Teaching high schoolers is not for the faint of heart - while many of them are decent kids, there are disruptive troublemakers who can be a major headache for all of us as teachers. Having a break from some of them is a huge help for us, and it helps the teachers to refocus too.  While it is short-lived (Monday class is back in session) the breaks are refreshing and welcomed.  Many students get a skewered idea of what a teacher thinks - they seem to think we are just chomping at the bit to flunk them or write them up for bad conduct.  In reality, that is not the case.  We want all of our students we are challenged with educating to succeed, but when some slack off in their studies or act up like petulent children in class, they make things harder for themselves.  As I am on the verge of surviving my first year as a full-time educator, it has been a bit of hit-and-miss for me.  I know I am not perfect, and on occasion I may lose composure with students that push my buttons.  Also, given I was thrown into this in the middle of a quarter, I have had to wing the lesson plans somewhat and that has taken some adjustment as well.  However, it also is giving me some lessons to learn for next year too, and as I get ready to navigate the 79 high school juniors I teach in five classes to the finish line over the next couple of months, I am making mental notes of what I could do better, what I have done that is effective, and also I always keep an eye open for new ideas.  The classes I have next year will be different students, with completely different personalities, and it will take understanding them to deal with them as well.  But, at least this year I have managed to gain some insights and I can apply those to my next group in the coming academic year. 

Sitting in faculty meetings tends to be enlightening as well.   One very good idea this school has is that our grade-level and departmental faculty groups meet together fairly regularly, and they are often very productive meetings.  However, you notice things too from your fellow teachers.  Some teachers, for instance, are complaining about problem students in one class who in my classes are generally not an issue.  Likewise, I have problem students who do well conduct-wise with other teachers.  One unfortunate trap we as educators fall into though is not being able to recognize things such as learning disorders or other issues the students may face.  I know of at least one student I have who is autistic, and another one I am thinking struggles with dyslexia.  Both are Black kids, and I note similar issues with them that other teachers have too.  However, knowing the complexities of things like autism and dyslexia makes a teacher more effective at reaching those students, and while it is easy to dismiss these kids as lazy, apathetic, or something else, patterns should be noted and investigated, as there may be an underlying cause.  If a teacher can successfully identify that root issue, a plan can be formulated which will capitalize more on the student's strengths and less on their perceived complications.  A good guidance counselor at a school can be an asset in this area as well.  We as teachers don't have the capacity to diagnose learning disabilities, but we can raise awareness of the potential and work with school authorities and the parents to find ways to sort through the issue.  Therefore, if a student displays certain patterns, it should be documented and then recommended for further inquiry with the proper sources.  

As can be seen, we are in the process of developing a pedagogy or an educational philosophy.  An approach based on empathy balanced with discipline will definitely go a long way.  If the student don't appreciate the teacher at the time, they may later.  The biggest and most pleasant surprise is in the future when a former student approaches you and tells you what an impact you had on them, especially when you did not feel at the time you accomplished anything.  Thank you for allowing me to share. 

The Settling Into Routine

 I have done a fairly detailed chronicle of my journey since last October, and in all honesty, it is an adventure I overall do not care to repeat.  After almost 6 months of feeling very unsettled, similar to a fish out of water, I am finally in the vernacular "finding my groove" as it were.  A couple of trips to the storage facility Barbara and I share in West Virginia has reunited me with much of my personal paperwork and some other things I needed, and we are not quite done yet.  At the present time, the storage unit still holds about 50% of our stuff, so it will be some time yet before total restoration happens.  But, at least now it is feeling better than it did. 

As I mentioned as well, two weeks ago today Barbara moved into the room next to mine, and for the first time in several months we are again under the same roof.  While people may find the relationship Barbara and I have odd (it baffled the Dominican friar at the church when we told him of us last week), it works for us.  We are no longer married obviously, but we are still close and still good friends and that speaks much of a level of maturity on our part.  It is bad mythology to assume that a divorced couple has to hate each other's guts, and in all honesty it is something that society has bought into contributing to its own detriment.  Divorce is tragic in any circumstance admittedly, but life happens - and so does divorce.  Barbara and I thought years ago that we would be married no matter what, yet we ended up doing the unthinkable and divorcing after almost 28 years of marriage. We don't blame each other for it happening, as we were neither totally at fault nor were we totally perfect either.  In many cases, we were victims of circumstance - being pushed by a Pentecostal cult into a marriage when we were not ready for it, and then allowing divisive in-laws to get into our business and cause further trust issues.  When it was all said and done though, Barbara and I are much better friends than we ever were spouses, and we both see that now.  And, that bears further reflection.

Barbara and I are both feeling much better about being back under the same roof again - we both felt a loss and it was difficult for both of us over the past several months.  We are like a brother and sister, as we look out for each other, pool our resources, and generally what we have makes more practical sense given the circumstances.  Many people have applauded us for our state right now, and many are initially shocked but then see how good it works for us and then they are fully supportive.  And, it perhaps is saving both our lives on many levels.   Barbara has unfortunately faced some major health issues in the past several months, and perhaps my being close by may actually be a good thing for her.  Likewise, I am not getting any younger, and a little extra help benefits me as well.  As odd and unorthodox an arrangement that we have is, it works out beautifully, and we are doing better because of it.  For those who would seek to be condemnatory and judgmental, you already know what you can do with yourselves although I am too civil to say it here.  

Part of the resettling of our lives entails getting back some things we thought we had lost.  The crazy circumstances of our move from Hagerstown created a situation for us that tested every fiber of our beings, but we survived and prevailed.  We have had to adjust some things, but nothing too earthshaking.  The idea of surviving vs. thriving comes into consideration here, and I have to say that I have thrived against the odds.  There are days I still have to come to terms with things, but as life starts to fall into place, I must look at this as a new chapter God has opened in my life.  

I am uncertain where things will end up in the long term, but I at least have secure work, Barbara too now has a better home, and as the dust settles a new life is taking shape.  Perhaps when I write in a year I will have a new dimension to the story to share.  God's will and timing will tell. 

Thanks again for allowing me to share my thoughts this week, and I will be back soon. 

Settlement and Restoration

 The past week has had its challenges, but it also has been more satisfying.  Barbara has rented the vacant room in the house now, so she is back under the same roof.  It is actually quite refreshing to have her back in the house, as we are close friends and it gives a dimension of normalcy to what has been an otherwise upside-down several months.  As Barbara gets settled, new routines have been established, as well as bringing back some old ones that benefitted both of us in the past.  It has been wonderful, for instance, to not have to commute on that cursed #21 bus to work every morning.  I still have to take the bus home in the afternoon, but that is much more manageable.  It also means being able to sleep in a half hour later than I used to.  Some other restorative measures have happened as well that in reality have made me feel a little more whole again, so I will get into those now.

My music collection, as many of you who have been following me a long time know, is a very integral part of who I am.  I have collected vintage big band recordings for the better now of 43 years, and for a time I amassed what was perhaps the largest collection I could have dreamed of.  However, with the sudden move last October, I lost a considerable amount of my collection although I did maintain my more important LP sets, which are safe in a storage unit in Martinsburg at this point. However, due to the shock of losing so much, I haven't paid much attention to my music interest over the past few months, as it was a devastating loss to not have a huge majority of the impressive collection it had taken me the better of 30 years to accumulate.  However, thanks to new 21st century technology, I have discovered a new format that allows me to recoup a lot of the old collection in a compact form - the flash drive.  A couple of days ago, I received in the mail a small flash drive containing over 4800 recordings covering a 40-year period between 1900-1940, and much of it was material I had once had in my massive CD collection.  I am able to carry what once was half my library in the palm of my hand, so that was a revolutionary thing.  I have four more of those coming the next week which will add some vintage radio broadcasts (including "Spotlight Bands," "GI Jive," and "One-Night Stand") as well as complete libraries of both Harry James and Guy Lombardo.  I also managed to obtain at a good price two Time-Life CD collections - one is the vintage "Big Bands" series that had originally been released in the early 1980s (I had the Glenn Miller volume on LP back then) and the other is a large collection called "Your Hit Parade" which covers essentially every significant song between the years 1940 and the early 1960s.  Along with the LPs I have in storage (including the two HUGE Franklin Mint sets I was able to salvage), I have a good start to rebuilding what was once an impressive music collection.  I think this time though I will focus on things I really want and not be as comprehensive, except on the drives maybe (I can create my own flash drives too of a lot of original stuff, as it is readily available on both YouTube and Internet Archive).  I may get a few more CDs of things I want outside the genre (namely some classical collections like Igor Stravinsky, as well as some Gospel and liturgical recordings like those I once had), but we'll get to that later.   This new incarnation of my music collection - the third - will be smaller but more focused.  I don't think it is feasible to recover every recording I had before, as I invested many years and thousands of dollars getting those.  But, I can still have a collection I can enjoy for years to come. 

A couple of trips to storage in Martinsburg - one this Friday - have also been reuniting me with much of my personal papers and other things that are significant, and now that I have those back, the challenge is organization.  Due to my smaller living quarters, I do not have near the space I used to have so I have some logistical challenges to overcome.  But, I have managed before, so this is no different.  With Barbara being here now, it means a lot of new opportunities including being reunited with so much of our stuff which we have had to resort to storing in a facility almost 100 miles away.  

As I conclude this week's reflections, I am still in a state of transition, but I am also starting to see some positives as I begin to settle for the first time in a while.  That frankly feels good, and I am hoping to see more of that happen as time progresses.  Thank you for letting me share this week, and I will see you next time. 

New Horizons

 This is now March - the month came in like a wooly lion; cold in the morning but significantly warmer during the day.  And, with this being Ash Wednesday, it means Lent is upon us.  There is much to think about as we officially cross the first quarter of 2025, and I had a few things to reflect upon today.

To begin with, I mentioned that my ex-wife Barbara and I are still very close despite not being married any longer.  She made a good decision lately to move to Baltimore, as she has been facing some challenges and she needed something of a breakthrough.  Just keep her in your prayers.  

Secondly, last week was an exciting week too.  As I was walking over to the Royal Farms store across from the school one day to get my morning coffee and pastry, it was inescapable to see a huge dead rat, with a morbid grin on its face, lying right in the middle of the sidewalk.  And, as is the case with a liberal Democrat-run city like Baltimore, it has been two weeks now and that rat is still there.  You would think they would clean that stuff up due to disease and such, but they didn't.  Looking at that rat though made me think of something pretty profound, and I wanted to share that today.

Having gone through some profound changes over the past year in my own life, there are still lots of things to process.  While I am a lot more financially secure than I was, I still struggle with dealing with the changes that have taken place, as they were earth-shaking and rapid.  As much as I try though, some things are like that dead rat - they are now in the past, yet they are laying there on the path with a morbid grin staring at me.  What are those?  Reminders of things I have lost, but also the memories of the trauma that facilitated those losses.  At times it can be a lot to deal with.  So, how do I deal with these feelings?  I have to think two words - new horizons.  

I am at a crossroads in life I had not anticipated - a lot of my old life as I had known it over the past 20 or more years is now gone, and in its place is a new existence.  There are many positives about a new existence in this case - thanks to this new position teaching in the Jesuit school I work at, I am probably the most financially secure I have been in years.  That is perhaps the biggest positive.  There are days though I wonder if it was worth it - that is the dead rat staring up at me from the middle of my path forward.  Seeing the urban blight in some areas of Baltimore as I commute to work and home on the city bus, dealing with obstinate minority kids in some classes I teach, and even dealing with crazy people at bus stops (more on that shortly) serve to remind me that this change happened and there is no going back.  But, there are other positives too - Barbara is now closer to me, and we do have a wonderful "new" President who is making some dramatic changes that will ultimately be good for our nation.  Thanks to President Trump, I may actually get to visit a very special person in the Philippines this summer (Lord be in that please!).  As events unfold on that I will share details later.  Let me now divert this line of thought and tell you what happened to me last week. 

Thursday I left school in the afternoon to catch my usual bus home across the street.  Generally that stop at the corner of Eastern Avenue and Chester Street is nothing spectacular - it is in front of an old boarded-up former Burger King, and while the street is busy, it is not anything earth-shaking.  But, this is the city, and you learn to anticipate the unpredictable.  At the bus stop this day, there was a woman - she looked Hispanic and in her early 60s - who was obviously indigent.  She had long matted black hair with gray streaks, and a ratty-looking winter coat.  She was hollering and flailing her arms about in a weird manner though at the bus stop, and naturally I thought maybe she was on a phone call with a Bluetooth device, as that is a common thing now.  However, she didn't have a cell phone, and instead was haranguing a group of imaginary friends that were only visible in her ill mind, and she then proceeded to start begging for money or food - she was asking if I could buy her a pizza!  I told her no, and she went back to talking to her imaginary audience without missing a beat.  One of the things she was saying in a thick accent was she was cursing Satan for grabbing her lady parts - I was like "ooookayyy!!" when I heard that.  She also was claiming someone in a black car was following her and trying to cast a voodoo spell or something on her.  Anyway, the bus came, I got on, and she took a seat just across the aisle from me.  She continued her crazy talk, and within ten minutes I had gotten to my transfer stop at the coffee shop on East Avenue.  Not thinking any more of it, and having a long wait to make my bus connection, I went in and had my normal cherry Italian soda - that coffee shop makes the best!  A few minutes later, here comes the crazy lady, and she is trying to beg for food.  At that point, I saw this could be a potential issue, and when the counter person refused her, she left the store.  A little bit later, I saw it was almost time for my bus to get there, so I went out.  Guess who I saw at the bus stop - yes, the crazy woman.  Nuttier than a squirrel in a Snickers factory, she was still talking to a cadre of imaginary friends.  I didn't want to deal with this person any more, so I decided to catch the bus across the street instead.  The bus I usually take home goes to Canton Crossing first and then it turns around to come back.  For some idiotic reason, if you decide to ride it down there you have to get off and then re-board the damn bus just to get back.  I wasted no time getting across the street and waiting for the bus to come - it did shortly after.  As I was boarding, I warned the bus driver that a potentially mentally-disturbed woman may try to board, and wouldn't you know it, here she came!  She got on the bus, still doing her crazy talk, and when I got to Canton Crossing I ran to get away from her as at this point I felt like she was stalking me.  But, here she came, stopping first to beg at a sandwich shop down there, and then she boarded my bus home.  I was trying to think of a strategy to deal with her if she continued riding my transfers, and decided if she got off at my stop again I would call the police and have her dealt with.  Fortunately, she dozed off, and when my stop came up at the corner of 25th and Greenmount, two blocks from my house, I was able to get off and make a hasty retreat home.  The crazy lady was still snoozing and didn't know the difference.  God only knows where she went after all that, but thankfully I got away from her as I was really starting to feel concern.  She, like that dead rat in the middle of the sidewalk, was one of those things that confronts you, and you have to find a way to deal with that.  Thankfully God was with me and I did. 

The dead rat and the crazy woman on the bus reminded me of the same thing in different ways - some things from our past remained unresolved, and there are new challenges to face in a new life.  As you read this today, think of your own challenges, and how you deal with circumstances like that.   As you do, hopefully it will lead to a greater reliance on God's provision in all situations.  Thank you for allowing me to share today. 

Walking on Eggshells

 One of the major challenges of being a teacher - especially at the high school level - is trying to maintain order.  The kids in my classes are at that age where they think they have it all figured out, and they often try to manifest it in their behavior.  This can be challenging to deal with when you have a class of about 15 juniors who choose often to be loud, disruptive, and deliberately try to cause issues.  The student who asks to go to the bathroom and then is out for most of the class.  The other student who has a penchant for being the class clown and finds ways to derail the day's class discussion. Yet others think that the fundamental rules of classroom decorum somehow don't apply to them and they try to manipulate things to their advantage.  For anyone who has taught high school, you know exactly what I am talking about.  Generally, you learn how to deal with these issues as time goes on, but then a sponsorship committee for the school you teach at shows up and they sit in on your class.  Then, the particular students who are the "problem children" are not at their best, and it doesn't look good.  That was my week so far.  In many ways, I also understand that perhaps I read too much into it, and in reality it may not be as bad as I think.  But, the craziness of the situation does cause you some discomfort - you lose sleep over it, and you start having concerns about what will happen if you lose your contract over something like that.  In most cases, that probably will not happen, as at times we tend to mentally put ourselves through stress over things that are in reality trivial matters.  Once this is realized, the overwhelming relief one feels is a feeling that is indescribable at times - it is as if a huge weight has been lifted, or that you fell off a cliff and someone with the skill of a cowboy lassos you and pulls you back before you plummet to your death. Have any of you reading this felt that before?

I teach at a Jesuit high school in Baltimore, and as part of their compliance measures they have annual visits from a variety of committees - ones dealing with Jesuit schools in general, diocesan teams, educational network people, etc.  It is natural to seek to maintain standards, and understandable that these visits are accountability measures.  But, they can also be stressful as the future of your position as well as even the future of the school could depend on what they report later.  I have dealt with review committees before - my most recent experience was my dissertation committee when I was finishing up my Ph.D. last year.  On one hand, it is a milestone, and as my Research Director for my dissertation told me, we should not view it as an inquisition but rather as an opportunity to celebrate your achievement. Maybe school committees who visit and observe should be viewed in the same way, something easy to say in theory but then a bit challenging in practice, especially when you have some students that do not want to cooperate.  

One thing I have learned about committees as well.  In many cases, when these individuals visit and observe, interview, and present findings, they are doing so as teachers themselves in many cases.  They have been where you are, they understand the challenges, and they may not be as hard on you as you are on yourself.  But, honestly, it is still unnerving.  The idea here is in this case to try to see the bigger picture, and come to the realization that your worst moments will not necessarily seal a grim fate for your career.  After all, everyone has bad days, right?  Again, this can be easier said than done, but at the same time it also should be viewed in the context of similar situations.  Also, talking to your colleagues can relieve some worries as well, as many of them are facing the same situation you are.  Maybe they can offer some advice.  One very nice thing about this school where I teach is that we have support structures in place - our subject-area department has regular meetings, as does our grade-level instructor groups.  These meetings are generally weekly or monthly, and it is a chance to voice concerns and relate to your fellow instructors regarding things that come up.  Many of them also deal with the same group of students you do, so they understand the issues you may be facing.  Therefore, groups like that can be a valuable resource. 

Onto less onerous topics, I wanted to express my satisfaction at President Trump's progress at attempting to clean up things.  He has a job ahead of him, and already the culprits who are responsible for the issues are screaming, but they are also losing.  America has been in serious need of reform for a long time - in society and in government.  Trump's new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is headed by tycoon Elon Musk, and he has already rooted out a lot of waste in government spending as well as streamlining and correcting problems caused by that waste.  Why anyone in their right minds would oppose this escapes sound logic - regardless one's political persuasion, elevating the life of our citizens while holding bureaucrats accountable should be a rallying point for almost all of us.  Yet, it is not unfortunately, and there are some in this liberal bastion called Baltimore that are actually lamenting the rein-in of corruption.  What I have to say to them is this - if you like the old way so much, then go somewhere and build your little utopia where you can have the status quo, as corrupt as it is, continue. But, if you find your quality of life gets worse, remember you wanted this, so suck it up Buttercup.  And, that leads me to some other weekly observations I wanted to note.

One major thing in the news is Pope Francis and his health.  He was hospitalized last week with double pneumonia, and at almost 89 years old, this makes him highly vulnerable.  Now, last report is that he may be in the initial stages of kidney failure as well.  I wanted to reflect on this a moment.  First, I am no fan of Pope Francis - in all honesty, he has been one of the worst Pontiffs of the Church in centuries, and he has also inflicted much damage on good, orthodox clergy in order to advance his own agenda.  But, at the same time, no one wishes ill will to him healthwise - having a respiratory problem like that is no fun, believe me, so I empathize with Francis on that.  We should also definitely pray for the Pope - any person with a heart and soul, regardless of what they think of him otherwise, cannot deny the importance of this.  But, in praying for his health, let's also pray that this is a time of reflection for him, and that he can have a conversion of heart to rectify some bad decisions he has made.  Whether he survives this (and it is not looking good) or not is neither here nor there; the salvation of his soul is.  If he comes out of it, perhaps he can be a Pope with a changed heart.  If he doesn't, then maybe in his final moments he can find the grace he needs to end his life on a good note.  Ultimately, it's in God's hands, but let us continue to lift up Pope Francis in our prayers regardless. 

Thank you for allowing me to spill my proverbial guts again this week, and will see you again soon.