You probably have noticed I have not been writing quite as much, but in reality, I actually have been. The writing endeavors I have been engaged in have not been on blog posts, but rather the publication of books. As of this week, two of them have been published, bringing our total publishing output this year to six. The two books are my fictional work, Appointed to Consecration, which is currently available on Amazon, as well as a semi-fictional romantic story called The Blue and the Bare. Due to the heavy reliance on real-life events, I am not going to make the second volume available for purchase, and instead just have a print copy for my own records. I was quite impressed with how the cover art on both of these came out, and I can share for both here:
David's Mountain Memories
I am David Thrower, and this is a collection of snippets of my life. On this page you will find articles about Appalachian heritage, family history, music, and other good stuff. It is a lighthearted page, so hope you will visit often as this is like my virtual homestead, front porch and all.
Sunday, October 25, 2026
Update on the Thrower Music Archive and Some Other Developments
Monday, October 19, 2026
New Directions and New Experiments
As I am writing this, I have been extremely busy. In addition to submitting a lot of job applications recently - I discovered a tool that is helping to enhance my marketability, so that makes me excited - I have also been engaged in some writing projects, and I am prepping the 2026 "Blog Book" to be print-ready by December. What is becoming an increasing pain in the butt with writing though is the editing - my goodness! And, I wanted to actually sound off on that before I continue.
I have a touch-screen laptop, and I think I have cussed out that thing more in the past two weeks than even a sailor with the most colorful vocabulary could attempt. It's not so much the laptop itself though as it is the programs on it, and by those, I mean Microsoft Word - my goodness! I always want my stuff to look as good as possible, especially if I am going to create a bound and printed volume of it. So, naturally I do the spelling/grammar check utilizing the tool bar at the top of my Word document. The problem with Word is that it tags everything as a misspelling - foreign language words, proper names, intended slang words, and local colloquialisms. In a huge document like the "Blog Book," you have about 500 pages, and in each of them this stupid Word program will find 500 supposed "misspelled" words that end up being proper names or foreign words. So, out of the thousands they apparently flag, perhaps less than 50 in a document that size are actual spelling errors. But, in order to find the actual errors, you have to click through everything else to get to them, and that can cause issues too - you can accidentally click a correction on something that technically doesn't need it, and then it makes a sentence sound more ridiculous. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, the damn things keep multiplying because Word takes its sweet time loading the document. That makes the spell-check in Word seem like an endless hamster wheel, and it can get frustrating after a while. So, with the "Blog Book," which I only print for my own shelf anyway, I am not going to be as concerned about that. The "select-copy-cut-paste process of getting a blog article into a working document is challenging enough without that crap. So, to anyone who reads any of the 12 volumes of blog books I have one day, forgive any typos and spacing. I had always been taught that a period after a sentence should be followed by two spaces when you start the next sentence, so that is what I have done. Now, come to find out, that was wrong, and therefore now when I edit a large document, there are a ton of punctuation corrections that pop up. I gave up on those too. For actual marketable books, that is one thing. But, for something that is for your own records, I could care less. So, the "Blog Book" will be published as is in December, and if a person who reads it in the future gets concerned about an occasional typo, oh well - if they believe enough in my work, they can have it re-published themselves at that point. Anyway, it also made me want to string Bill Gates up by his cojones in an Everglades forest and let the alligators eat him alive - I believe in the dignity of personhood as much as the next faithful Catholic Christian, but let's face facts. Bill Gates is a pervert, a pedophile, and he's an antichrist wannabe who thinks he has the authority to tell individual normal people what they should and should not eat or do - I say screw him. Bill Gates is not God, and if anything, I believe he may be possessed by a demonic principality, but that is a whole other discussion. That being vented, let's move on.
I have made some of my first forays into creative fiction, and it has produced two books. One of them is a bit of autobiographical fiction built around myself and my Filipina fiancée, and the other is the completion of a Catholic apocalyptic story I started 25 years ago. The first will not be available to the general public, but the second is already listed on Amazon and is available there if anyone wants to take a look. The cover art is what I wanted to share here, as I designed it myself with a piece of my own artwork. So, I will share that here now:
Thursday, October 15, 2026
The Pains of Daily Routines and the Satisfaction of Work Accomplished
The reason I am titling this the way I am is due to some hassles during the week - with the Google Gemini program, writing and editing material, lazy and careless delivery people, and other things. I think I have cussed Google's tools online so much that if it were a person, I would probably be in danger of mortal sin. But, cussing out a technology tool in the privacy of your own office is not necessarily sinful except perhaps that you might be tempted to lose your temper and chuck a phone, a laptop, or another device out the window and indirectly injure a passing neighbor when it bops them in the head. I haven't gotten to that point yet, and don't intend to. So, what is all the fuss about this week? Let me elaborate.
This summer has been a season of catching up on a lot of projects - in the past five months, I have gotten five books printed, and have also taken care of some other things I needed to do which were the proverbial "bucket list" plans. The last of these projects, which I have been working on the past couple of days, has been the manuscript for the articles I put here for the year, and this year's book is going to be a big one! It is already past 400 pages for mid-October now, and I still have about two months to go yet! Two major challenges of this are the cutting, pasting, and formatting of the text, as well as trying to insert a workable TOC into the document. I have picked up a few ideas here and there for that, and it has simplified things a lot, but I am by no means a tech wizard - Word makes me curse Bill Gates' future grave, and pray he would go to it now (that might be a bit sinful, but sorry, Bill Gates is an evil jackass who wants to try to micromanage the world's population to bow to his whims - ain't gonna happen, Billy Boy!). The book is assembled, and formatted, and I did get a good TOC created in it, but I still have edits and proofing to do on it yet, and additionally I have to incorporate new stuff as I produce it too. It's a huge job. But, it is an important job too, and I need to do this. That explains why I am torturing myself with all the hassles. It comes with the territory.
The 2026 "Blog Book" will probably go to press mid-December, and I can have it printed and on my doorstep probably before 2027 dawns. I anticipate three more of these over the next three or four years, and at that point I will retire the blog to work on more extensive projects. That will mean then that my blog will be about 20 years old when it is said and done. I plan on continuing to explore the challenges of daily life until the year ends, but I have one larger project I want to finish before years end too, and that is an analysis of the work of Georgian authors Ilia Chavchavadze and Konstantin Gamsakhurdia. Both of these authors have ideas I really like, and Gamsakhurdia's in particular has impacted my own views on different things. It also is in line with my reconnections to the Armenians and Assyrians, two groups of people I have an intimate interest in. And, that leads to a very important decision I want to revisit here too.
Looking at the direction the "official" Roman Catholic Church has been going, I have made a conscious decision to start looking into other options. Especially with the dead, stagnant decay of Baltimore's Catholic community, I am just ready to take a step into something different that would embody more of my personal faith. To be honest, it is a decision I wished I had made many years ago when I had the opportunity, but I never really acted on it. It also involves these two groups of people I have strong connections to, Armenians and Assyrians. After visiting St. Mary Church in DC a couple of months back, something clicked inside me, and being in that Badarak was perhaps one of the most definitive moments I have had in some time. Something inside me that Sunday just sort of shifted, and when I think of my fictional self in the love story I just wrote too, it was a very similar moment to that. I was having this sort of mental dialogue in my mind, and a part of me was thinking "I really miss this." Then, another word popped into my mind, and it was this - "David, why not seek to become part of this church??" It was a seed, and it started to grow - when I was in that church that day, I felt like those people were my people, and for the first time in a long time, I was home. Over the past couple of weeks or so, I have been attempting to reach out to the priests at both Armenian parishes in DC (one is with the Armenian Church in America, and the other is with the Armenian Prelacy - the difference is that the former is subject to the Katholikos of Etchmiadzin in the mother land, while the latter is under the Catholicosate of Cilicia, based in Lebanon. They are identical in every way, but just under different jurisdictions) to find out what I need to do, and I also in particular reached out to the Armenian Prelacy, as if I were to make this leap, it would be probably with a Prelacy church as I feel somewhat more connected to them in a very personal way that is literally in my DNA. It all hinges, therefore, on when and who responds to me as to what I do next. Rest assured though, I am very serious about this, and I think it is for the best. I will be posting more about it as things start to come together.
My spiritual journey, and some challenges I am facing right now, have gotten me to shift a lot of focus on a lot of things. There is a lot going on behind the scenes I cannot get into right now, but the new frontier is a bit treacherous to navigate right now. Hopefully everything will come together soon enough, provided technology and lazy delivery drivers don't rob my sanity.
Any rate, that is what I had to say today, so I will end there. Thanks for reading, and see you again next time.
Monday, October 12, 2026
Writing Projects, Bringing Old Sketches to Life, and Other Things
The past week for me has been a blur. For one thing, I got an offer for a substitute teaching job (on-call, so not full-time yet) at St. Francis Academy in Triangle, VA, which is close by Quantico. There are a few logistics to work out - the commute being the biggest - but I am happy about this overall. Also, I have been turning some long-sitting projects into reality this past week. As of yesterday, I published the second of my fiction books, and for those of you who have been with me from the beginning here, it's going to look familiar. Let's talk about it.
In August of 2012, just shy of two years into doing these blogs, I published a story on there called "Appointed to Consecration." I had originally written this back in 2001, and it was a sort of Catholic apocalyptic novel inspired somewhat by my own interest in both Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness, and the LaHaye/Jenkins series Left Behind. However, this was to be something different. In it, there are no Rapture scenes or theology, no Tribulation with the Antichrist, or an millenarianism. My story took its imspiration from three pivotal Catholic eschatological themes - the Three Days of Darkness, the Great Schism in the Church, and the Great Catholic Monarch. I decided that since I have some time to do it now, I would finish the project, and I did. The book kept the title, Appointed for Consecration, but it greatly expanded it to include even some recent personal references (one of the antagonists, as a matter of fact, is modeled upon the vile man who served as campus minister at the last school I worked at - that guy disgusted me, and I was able to create a character based on him). The book ended up being 119 pages, and it comprises 12 chapters. Later, I am going to do a deep dive as I have a discussion curricula planned, and I may turn it into something on here. The book just went to press yesterday, and is currently available on Amazon if anyone would be interested in getting one. I ended up being quite impressed with it myself in all honesty. The first fiction book I did prior to that the earlier week, however, is not going to be available publicly, as it is basically a fictional story that serves as a love letter for my fiancée Azi, so for now that one is for her and my eyes only. Besides writing though, I discovered something fascinating with Google Gemini - you can actually turn a drawing into a realistic picture. That is the second thing I was working on this week, so let me share some of that here.
At around the same time I published a story that would evolve into the first chapter of Appointed for Consecration, I also had decided to create a post at around the same time called "The Thrower Art Gallery." It featured a bunch of my original sketches that I had done over the years, and what I am going to do here today is share a few of the realistic pictures I was able to create based on those sketches. So, let's begin.
Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth - Dake, Syriac and Ethiopian Bibles
Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth
2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
This Bible verse was one of the first ones I ever learned as a new Christian after my conversion at age 16, and it has also provided me with a strong conviction for proper discernment. At times - especially in my 20s as a young minister still getting my bearings - this was tested heavily. I dabbled some in the hyper-charismatic version of Pentecostalism, and even took some questionable televangelists seriously in my younger years. But, I grew up, and in time I was able to see errors in things I once championed. We have all been there at some point - you have an initial enthusiasm about your faith in the beginning which makes you a sponge willing to soak up and absorb any type of teaching, even if it is wrong. This is natural, and it happens to many of us at points in our lives. However, while not beating yourself over the head about accepting errors at some point, we also should have the capacity to outgrow the errors as our faith begins to mature and we understand things better. That is what 2 Timothy 2:15 is all about. I am going to apply this today to a very specific area that seems to have gained some popularity over the years, and that is the usage of certain translations of ancient Bible translations such as the Syriac P'shitta and the Ethiopian Canon. In their orthodox forms, I love and value both of these Bibles, and indeed I have a deep connection to the people who speak these languages. However, there are some Christians who haven't matured much and think that there is some "hidden wisdom" in an ancient text that it never claimed to have, and this leads to some rather odd ideologies. I want to start first by telling my own story somewhat in relation to this, and then I want to take each of these and analyze them individually, the Syriac and the Ethiopian Biblical traditions.
Back when I first started Bible college at the age of 19, there were two things I was passionate about. One, it was my association with Assyrian, Armenian, and Coptic Christians. Secondly, it was my identity then as a Pentecostal. Both of these intersected in both good and bad ways, and in doing so I was launched into a bit of education that I never anticipated. Back in the day, I used two major Bibles as my main go-to versions. One of them was the massive Dake's Annotated Study Bible, which was gifted to me by a preacher uncle. Like many young Pentecostals then, I thought that using a Dake's Bible was the Pentecostal thing to do, and to be honest the four-column format and the extensive commentary notes did have some attraction to me. I will talk more in detail about the Dake Bible later, but there was another Bible I used too. After getting to know many Assyrians in my early 20s, I became close friends with Assyrian nationalist Dr. Sargon Dadesho - he at the time had an organization called Bet Nahrain in Turlock, CA, and he published a magazine as well as having TV and radio stations (both KBES). In 1995, I would have the opportunity to both visit and be interviewed on KBES by my dear friend Deacon John Khio, but my first contact was Sargon, and even to this day I consider him a dear friend. Sargon's magazine featured articles in both Assyrian and English, and there was a lot of cultural content in those then. On one occasion, he mentioned something about an Assyrian Bible translator named George Lamsa, and I made it a point to obtain a Lamsa Bible - I was able to purchase one through my college bookstore in early 1990. While I will go into more detail about the Lamsa Bible later, as it pertains to my story at this time, my Lamsa and Dake's Bibles were what I used for everything - if I prepared class projects, sermons to preach in churches, or anything else, those were my go-to Bibles. That went on for a few years until I started to become better educated in what both of these Bibles were actually, and in time I would get rid of them because I discovered a lot of heretical stuff within them that didn't match traditional Biblical hermeneutics. As I grew in my own faith beyond Pentecostalism into a more Catholic grounding, it became evident that neither the Dake's or Lamsa Bibles were really appropriate for serious discipleship, and I thankfully outgrew them as well as a lot of things associated with them. I use my own story to preface this because I am coming at this topic from a position of experience, and am not just shooting down anything I simply don't agree with. I used these Bibles, and I believed in them as valuable translations then, and I was completely clueless as a young man as to what sort of damage they could really do. But, thankfully, I grew. So, why am I addressing this topic. Let me give the introduction to that and we will go on from there.
Over the past couple of days, I have been listening to YouTube videos of my friend, Dr. Stephen Missick in Texas, who is creating some good content that deals with the Assyrian Bible in particular. Unfortunately, Stephen suffered some damage to his home during a bad storm, and a tree crashed into his house that almost destroyed the very valuable study library he has that he had accumulated over many years. Fortunately, the majority of his collection was spared damage, due to the providential hand of God, but this motivated him to explore his own collection and do some content on different translations and versions of the Syriac Bible he has come across over the years. I relate to that, because for the most part Stephen and I had a parallel course in our studies and association with the Assyrians in particular over the years - he is a few years younger than I am, and he also had the privilege of meeting some people I never was able to meet, including the Assyrian Patriarch Mar Awa. And, a lot of his own journey reminded me of myself - he was soaking up pretty much everything that entailed Syriac studies, as I also did, and he came across some of the same material I did over the years. Some of these included some spurious and somewhat controversial English translations and commentaries on Syriac Bibles, and of course he became familiar with Lamsa's work as well as that of others - notably the New Thought Syriac researcher Rocco Errico, as well as the translation work of Victor Paul Wierwille (who led the neo-Arian cult, the Way International) and some people who splintered from Wierwille's group such as Janet Magiera. When I discuss Lamsa directly, I will go into more detail about who these people are because they do tend to be given a higher level of importance in Syriac Studies than they perhaps should have. Stephen's video though made an important distinction between the work of people like Lamsa, Wierwille, Magiera, and Errico and their actual doctrines they possess, and I think that is a fair assessment. With a chronically limited English-language reservoir for Syriac Studies (that thankfully is changing, but it still merits work) I completely understand why we may have to by necessity take a sip from a proverbial "poisoned well," and I only hope for Stephen and others that Mark 16's promises that if a believer "drinks any deadly thing it shall not harm them." That is why I feel the discussion is warranted. I want to do this in three sections. First, I want to address the esotericist and cultic interest in Syriac studies, primarily through Lamsa's post-mortem influence. Secondly, I want to talk about the Ethiopian Bible, and how at times it gets many people who have a mystical motivation for interest in it. Third, I am going to deal with Dake's - how Dake intersected with Lamsa on some things, and also how many popular televangelists - Benny Hinn, Jimmy Swaggart, and others - use translations such as Dake's or Lamsa's to justify some of the odd doctrines they proclaim. Hopefully, by the time you read this, it will aid in you strengthening your own sense of discernment so you too can "rightly divide the word of truth." I am starting this on a Tuesday, and due to its complexity, it will take me several days to work on this so you more than likely will be seeing it several days after I finish it.
Let's start with George Lamsa. George Lamsa (1892-1975) was a Bible translator who was an ethnic Assyrian. In my earliest Bible college days as I started to learn about the Assyrian community, I first heard of him through Bet Nahrain Magazine, which published an article regarding some historical preservation of his back in 1991. Being I was looking for an actual Assyrian Bible, I immediately had the college bookstore order me one. It was more massive than any Bible - outside of my Dake's - that I had seen, and for a few years I used it quite regularly. I published an old book of my early sermons that is available on Amazon, and if you read some of my material from the early 1990s, you will note that at that time I quoted Lamsa's Bible extensively. However, as I grew in my faith, I started to notice things - when I looked more into George Lamsa's life, he was associated with a lot of weird stuff, including New Thought groups like Unity, the cultic Way International (Lamsa was a close friend of Victor Paul Wierwille, who founded that group), and the controversial Pentecostal tent evangelist William Branham (who, among other things, taught a version of Oneness Pentecostalism as well as a variation of the Calvinist "Two Seeds" doctrine). Of the latter, this explains why some in the "Word of Faith" movement, including prominent televangelists like Benny Hinn and the late Kenneth Hagin, utilized the Lamsa translation. I also found out later from my good friend, the late Fr. Quasha Klutz, in a phone conversation that the official Assyrian Church had never endorsed Lamsa's Bible, and indeed discouraged its faithful from using it. Learning of all that, I immediately began to distance myself from Lamsa's material, and instead focused on actual Syriac Bible studies and translations, including those done by the late Aramaic Bible Translation founder, Wycliffe missionary Esther Matteson, as well as more credible recent translations like those of Dr. George Kiraz (his is very helpful, as I understand the Western Syriac, or Suryoyo, dialect better). While I have close friends who are sound Christians that see some value in Lamsa's work - I get that, and can appreciate it - I would also discourage them and others from taking his translation work too seriously, as it may be questionable due to the influences he himself had.
Speaking of the Way International, that is of interest because after the death of Victor Paul Wierwille and the later scandal that surrounded his successor, Craig Martindale, a number of groups split from the original cult and formed their own versions of it - they differ some what in administration, as some of them don't have Wierwille's original rigidity, but they haven't changed the quasi-Arian doctrines that Wierwille taught. These groups believe in a school of thought called "Aramaic Primacy," which would assert that because Jesus spoke Aramaic, the original Bible must have therefore been written in it. There are two big issues with this. First, traditional Biblical scholarship - including the Syriac and Assyrian Church traditions - acknowledge Greek as the original language of Scripture (and some Hebrew as well, especially in regard to the Old Testament). Therefore, given this is the accepted view and it has the evidence to support it, Wierwille and even to a lesser extent Lamsa were wrong about the "Aramaic Primacy" just on that alone. But, there is another complication too - the Aramaic many of them rely on is either Assyrian or Suryoyo, or possibly ancient Estrangelo, which the latter two dialects derive from. The Aramaic Jesus spoke would have been a totally different dialect entirely, as it was Palestinian Aramaic, and if there was an existing dialect that was closer to that, it would more than likely be the Aramaic spoken by the small Samaritan community in Israel today. With that established, one of the branch-offs of Wierwille's original cult was a woman named Janet Magiera, who more or less compiled her own Aramaic translation. There is little fundamentally different about it from Wierwille's, and therefore it is to be studied or read with a big grain of salt. In our enthusiasm, we tend to embrace some weird things, and it seems these ancient Christian communities like the Assyrians often end up being exploited by groups that are radically different than their traditional Churches. The same is true with the Ethiopians too, which we will get into next.
If one browses online shopping platforms like Ebay, Amazon, or Temu, you will see literally dozens of books with the title "Complete Ethiopian Bible." This seems to be a recent phenomenon, as I didn't recall seeing these a few years back. I don't see anything fundamentally wrong with them on a theological level, but the problem is they are not the authorized Ethiopian Church translation, which doesn't exist yet (although I have heard rumors about one being in progress). Also, these books seem to be knockoffs of each other too. Unlike Lamsa or the various incarnations of Wierwillism though, the problem with these Bibles is not necessarily their theology - they don't claim to be something "secret" or "hidden" for one thing - but rather their authenticity as actual translations from the Ge'ez text. While some of them are actually quite good and are decent study aids - I so far have liked Asher Wilson's as well as the Faith Made edition of this - it's important to be consistently factual about what these resources are. However, for an even longer time, there are these other versions of Ethiopian Bibles, liturgy books, and classic works like the Kebra Nagast that I would find theologically suspect as well, and that is because of one thing - those particular English-language materials are often the production of Rastafarian sects, and that brings in a whole new level of heresy. If you are looking for research material particularly on the Ethiopian Tewahedo Church, I would advise looking to authentic Ethiopian sources first, and often a good Ethiopian scholar or priest can help with that.
Finally, let's talk about Dake a little. Finis Jennings Dake (1902-1987) was a Pentecostal minister who was first with the Assemblies of God, and later the Church of God, before becoming independent. An uncle years ago when I was still young myself gifted me a Dake's Bible, and I have to be honest with you, it is impressive - most people read it for the extensive liner notes more than anything, and the four columns of text on each page could easily elevate Dake's notes to the level of Scripture, which is an inherent danger. The connection that few have made though is that Dake too also relied on some of Lamsa's work - Dake's citation of Lamsa's work as being "authentic Aramaic" led many Pentecostals to be exposed to Lamsa indirectly, and this is why it has been even noted that some high-profile televangelists such as Benny Hinn, the late Kenneth Hagin, and Kenneth Copeland will often use passages from Lamsa to justify their own odd theological ideas. I admittedly did this too, as when I was a young minister I heavily relied on both Bibles for my own sermon preparation. I honestly regret doing that now, and that is why I wanted to publish something here warning people about the risks of relying on unorthodox translations of the Bible just because they promise some "hidden meanings" or they have an impressive amount of notes and commentary in the margins. I have actually learned over the years to be more cautious of that. Hopefully, that is a warning many will take seriously.
So, of these three Bible translations - Lamsa, Dake, and the numerous English-Language "Complete Ethiopian Bibles" out there - I think the only one I could still utilize with good conscience is the Ethiopian Bibles, and that is fine as long as you understand that these are not official translations. The one I have by Asher Wilson in particular is actually quite good - he and his co-editor, both of whom are fairly sound Lutheran Evangelicals with Concordia Seminary credentials - and I can find value in it as I have a few neat takeaways of my own by learning to appreciate the Ethiopian Canon better. It is also good to be at least familiar with Lamsa and Dake too, and you can research them as long as you are grounded enough in your own faith to reject some of the wilder and somewhat heretical ideas they had.
Thank you for joining me today, and will see you next time.
Thursday, October 8, 2026
The Importance of the Creative Outlet
I am just writing today because I have something important to talk about. Have you ever been brimming with ideas, but just cannot find an outlet to express them? You're a gifted writer, or you can create music, or you are an artist - but the society we live in seems to not care. Many people - including unfortunately our own families - tell us "Oh, you can't make money off that stupid idea!" Then you have the gatekeepers. Used to be if you wanted to create and publish something, there were ways to do it - you wrote a book, and then you gave it to a printer, and voila! You then have a book. Well, not anymore. There are self-publishing platforms, but they often make it so constrictive to publish something - it's the wrong font, the page count is too low, the page count is too high, and all the other BS they throw at you to make you want to throw your computer through a wall. Add to that the fact we live in an overly litigious society - if someone gets their feelings hurt over something you say, they go after you (in some cases, it's not real damage either - there are crooks out there that find ways to actually scam authors and publishers, and one has to be careful of such people). Then you are bullied and forced into withdrawing your work, and there are evil people out there who Google their names constantly just to find offense (yes, they are at heart opportunists). So, how do you get a creative outlet? Let me tell you how I have navigated that over the years.
The first thing to remember is not everyone is going to love your work - there are haters and critics out there all over the place, some of whom have nothing better to do, and they can really mess up a good day if we let them. I have come up with an answer to that over the years that seems to be a good repellent of the cockroach din of haters and critics - just tell them that if they don't like it, then maybe they should write or record their own then. When a writer, musician, artist, etc., puts a considerable amount of work into producing something, no critic should even exist - the person did their best, and if perhaps you don't like it, then the advice I would give to a critic like that is to shut the hell up and do something more productive with their lives. A lot of this is just plain jealousy too - we all have our likes and dislikes of course, and that is not the real issue. The issue is when someone else tries to impose their individual standards on everyone else. Usually, the hater or critic in that case probably has no talent of their own, and they are almost resentful that someone actually succeeded. The self-elected critic may not even have an interest in what whoever is doing in reality, but they just have to be an idiot and attack a person with real creativity. Again, here's a radical idea - if you don't like it, then no one is twisting your arm to look at, listen to, or read it. so again, shut the hell up. But, it isn't just badmouthing haters that are an issue with this, but also bigger "gatekeepers" too.
By bigger "gatekeepers," we are talking about corporate, political, and even academic entities who can just arbitrarily determine what deserves to be published and what doesn't. These people are not concerned with developing talent, and to be honest they never (or rarely) invest in true talent. They are often out for one thing - making a quick buck. That is why a person like Simon Cowell - who is tone-deaf and wouldn't know good music if he was ran over with it, yet he is such an arrogant ass - has so much power. If they really wanted to scout for true talent, they would use real musicians on those stupid shows. However, I don't watch them or keep up with the newest no-talent with a pretty face anyway - I just personally detest Simon Cowell because frankly the guy is a pompous ass. If a musician on the scale of Benny Goodman or Pablo Casals were to come in front of him, Simon Cowell would be the first one to reject them because they don't shake their asses on stage and lip-sync bad songs. Simon Cowell, therefore, is not a musical genius; he has a sex fetish for young girls dancing around in mini-skirts.
I know I gave Simon Cowell some flak that he rightly deserves, but there are others like him. Academic organizations are full of them. If you don't go along with the party line that a group of Ivy Leaguers and West Coast radicals are pushing, it is a 1000% possibility they won't publish your work. Again, they are looking for a platform, and not true scholarship. You see this also more often with literary magazines as well - it is a shame how so many talented writers were pushed into obscurity by some arrogant jerk who sits on the board of a big university. If true scholarly integrity were a thing, those guys would not be sitting on those boards, nor do they deserve to be. So, why am I going off in this? It is a complete side issue for me in all honesty, but it ties into something more important I want to talk about now.
I am a Ph.D. I worked hard to earn that degree, and I stand behind my hard work. Because of that, I also love to write and research. While a lot of my writing has been reflective or theological/historical, in the past week I have been working on my first creative writing fiction piece. It is a piece that I won't publish - not because of the critics and gatekeepers, as they haven't seen it. Rather, I used some personal feelings to create a fictional narrative, and it is very personal. I wrote it though to print into a single book - not one for sale - for myself. I went into some of the details of the story line earlier, but it is romantic fiction, something I never thought I would actually write. However, when you meet a special someone, they tend to bring out things in you that maybe you have repressed, and I have that special someone. She is my girl Azi, a beautiful woman of Filipina heritage that I met a year after my divorce. Azi was not someone I expected to meet, but I couldn't be happier as she embodies all I have ever wanted in a soulmate. My fictional writing was inspired by her, and in fictional prose it is technically a love letter to her. Therefore, it stays in that realm of personal security, although if I get an opportunity I could change a few names and turn it into something bigger. That still remains to be seen. Any rate, that is what all this is about - it is important too in understanding that when a writer, artist, or composer creates a masterpiece, it is often a labor of love. There are numerous famous pieces of literature, many great works of art, and many music compositions that could fall into that class of art, and they should. And, often, if you really look or listen, you will see the creator is sharing a part of themselves too. This is why the idea of professional critics of those types of media is a useless profession. A typical professional critic tends to be a person with the soul of a garden slug - they don't have artistic talent, musical ability, and it is a chore for them to compose a text to their drinking buddies. Yet, they think they have the right to make or break someone who really has done a lot of work and put their own heart and soul into something. If our society were ordered the way it should be, we should be paying the artists, writers, and composers and let the critics starve until they find another more productive means of employment. We have a lot of things backwards in this society, and that is a shame.
Any rate, this was about the importance of the creative outlet, and I probably spent more time attacking those who attack creators. The creative outlet one has is much more important than the haughty critic who tries to pick it apart. That is a reason as well why society has been in decline - when you defile the transcendental properties of being (truth, beauty, goodness) to a marketing scheme, it cheapens creativity and diminishes the creative process. Making money in itself is not bad, but when it becomes the primary object of societal advancement, it then becomes irrelevant because it is driven by selfishness instead of an intrinsic need to have supernatural grace work in our lives to elevate, heal, and perfect creation. Greed kills creativity, and the greedy man is the worst type of idolater in all honesty. Don't be greedy then, but be creative. You will contribute more to the preservation of Western Civilization if you take that advice. Thanks for allowing me to share, and will see you next time.
Monday, October 5, 2026
Reading the Signs
I know that for many of you reading this, you are probably thinking astrological signs or something like that - that isn't what this week's reflections are about. Rather, it is just picking up on subtle things that maybe the Holy Spirit is saying, and that we sometimes miss. Then, Fr. Grassi, my former parish priest in Charles Town, also complemented what I was thinking in his homily at Mass yesterday, and let's see if we can integrate those here. I am still working on the article I want to put up that addresses things such as the Lamsa Bible and related issues, but that is going to entail more study. The reason for that is why I am writing this today. Let us begin by first talking about Fr. Grassi's homily briefly.
For anyone with any background in Catholic theology or philosophy, listening to Fr. Grassi's homily yesterday rings with a bit of familiarity. He was talking about the "tyranny of work," and how it is almost a sin against the self to be always busy and never taking time to just rest. He observed (correctly I believe) that now the technological advances society has adopted have also choked us - we are now taking work home at all hours, and we have smart phones, smart watches, smart glasses, etc., in addition to desktop and laptop computers. His homily was very convicting to me, as I find my mind racing with this, that, or the other, and I am always checking a screen for something even when nothing is there. All of this is of course very relevant to the day and time we live in, and I believe Fr. Grassi hit the proverbial nail on the head with what he shared. However, it also demonstrated that Fr. Grassi is an astute student of what he reads to, as much of what he said deals with a negative trait in society called acedia. This is a term that the Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper talks about a lot, especially in his seminal book Leisure: The Basis of Culture. Although Fr. Grassi didn't mention the concept by name, he pretty much identified the core aspect of acedia - being so busy that our activities almost become an idol to us. I won't get into Pieper's total analysis of acedia, as I have discussed it before, but Fr. Grassi's homily definitely reached something. And that is what I want to talk about today.
The reason I haven't been as active last week is due to one thing - I am working on my first fictional creative writing piece. I have only ventured into fictional writing a few times, and mostly it was not anything overly spectacular. It takes a special gift to write fiction, and I am not endowed with it in all honesty. But, I also remember what Robert Newton Peck, an old friend and perhaps one of the best children's writers of the 20th century, once wrote in his book about writing - get the raw idea out, and then refine it later. So, I used personal experience to construct a fictional story that entails a long-distance relationship where an American teacher falls in love with a Filipina, and he feels imprisoned by circumstance (some of that part of the story also resonates with Fr. Grassi's homily too) until one night he and his Filipina fiancée have an identical dream - in it, they are twenty five years old again, both of them (despite the fact in real life she is about 14 years younger), and in the dream they are beginning to make a life together. At a point in the dream during a small storm on the Sulu Sea outside their Palawan bungalow, they realize that they are in a dream but feel the connection strongly. They both wake up to rather unsatisfied lives, and they are their real ages again. But, as they video call each other, it dawns on them - they have not been able to be together for the five years they had their relationship, and between bureaucratic red tape, financial constraints, and other factors, it seems hopeless. But then this dream opens up something, especially in him - after a heartfelt talk with her, in which she reminds him to "remember twenty five," he makes a decision during his morning commute to just act on his true feelings, and within six months he had made the arrangements, and he makes a one-way flight to the Philippines where he and his girl step into a new life together - a very touching scene on a beach, where the sand sends a surreal feeling to his mind as his bare feet step onto it, solidifies the entire overarching point of the dream. As a result, they make a life together, and it ends up being a beautiful story. I won't go into a lot of detail about the story itself, but I wanted to summarize some lessons to take away from it that I dressed in a fictional scenario.
The whole point of the story boils down to one thing - sometimes the life we think we are living actually obscures the real person we actually are. We are afraid to let that real dimension of ourselves out because to be honest, it would probably cause problems with most people. The majority of the people we call family and friends would not have a clue as to that inner part of us, as it is something we often cannot explain for ourselves. The protagonist of the story is actually based on myself - it is about an inner aspect of myself I don't often share with just anyone, and this story provided a creative platform to sort of let it out. And, like Pieper's discussion of acedia, we tend to let things choke those parts of us which would actually be liberating because we have schedules, tasks that keep us busy, and a lot of mind-cluttering distractions. That unique aspect of ourselves is then just sort of obscured, although at times things we come across remind us that it's there. The point of my story is that if we know how to look for it, that right person is going to be there to help us rediscover that, and that person is often one we love - a husband or wife, a soulmate, a fiancée. Those people are a gift of God for a reason, and they are the ones we are meant to give our entire selves to, even those hidden things we don't feel comfortable sharing. Let's take a totally hypothetical example of what I am talking about.
Let's say there is a guy (or a girl) who is a brilliant person, but they are also somewhat introverted. The image they give to those around them is someone who is withdrawn, and also hard to know. This often leads to them getting ignored in the same way that Ficus tree in a bank lobby is - you know it's there, but it is not something you think about or care to pay attention to. However, underneath those layers is another person - this may be a guy who actually maybe likes singing karaoke, or he secretly may even like something like skateboarding but doesn't feel like he is someone who should do that. In his mind, he secretly may fantasize about it, but he is scared to death to try it because it would look out of character for him. Is this pride? I don't think so - it's more fear of being rejected or misjudged than anything. But, then he meets a nice girl who really connects with him, and all of a sudden he's thinking of trying it for the first time. He may fall on his ass doing it, but he just gets to that point where he has to give it a go. In the story, it is something similar, but not skateboarding (and believe me, personally that is not my secret guilty indulgence either!). He feels comfortable with that new soulmate, and she encourages him as he begins to share those deep things about himself. And, at some point, he just has to let go and go for it. That is the second point of the story too.
I talk about this because this is me - there are intimate things about myself I don't share with just anyone, and many of you reading this know what I am talking about. Even in 28 years of marriage to Barbara before we divorced, I never truly felt comfortable sharing a lot of things with her - it was not her fault, but one thing she told me once is that it seemed like there was a shell I had that she could not penetrate, and to be honest, she was right. The connection, in other words, was not really there. Sure, we cared for each other, and even had some wonderful moments together as a married couple, but that dimension of our relationship was missing, and it was no one's fault. We have a series of mental and emotional filters that are actually good for us, as they prevent the wrong people from weaponizing our personal feelings against us. But, if we don't take care to develop relationships of trust, that is a part of us that remains repressed and we never are quite our complete selves as a result. So, that is why God instituted marriage - that soulmate is just that; they are connected to you at the soul level, and in a sense this is what Scripture describes as "the two becoming one flesh." This doesn't happen with just anyone either - God built in those protections with us for a reason, so we should not consider them bad. And, that leads to the second aspect of this - the feelings of frustration and incompleteness.
Protecting yourself is a good thing - it keeps you from being wrongly exposed to the negative influences that can destroy us. But, it can also be overdone too - we can be so walled up that no one - not even God himself - can get through to us. And, we start to feel it. Because you can never be your full self, you feel like something in your life is missing, and that repression can become a prison to us. It needs to be broken by someone or something, and that someone should be the person we choose to spend the rest of our life with. And, we compensate that by distractions; we become overly busy, and we let routine and calendars enslave us to the mundane while that important aspect of ourselves is repressed. That is the real danger of Acedia - it can potentially lead to a type of idolatry of busy-ness. And like Fr. Grassi noted, it becomes rather tyrannical to us. It often takes a radical step to bring us back to where we should be, and that is the point of my fictional story.
In the story, the teacher, after that dream, has a heartfelt video conversation with his Filipina love, and then his morning commute to work, has an epiphany. While he was taking an Uber to his school where he taught, a thought came into his mind - "I wish this was taking me to the airport to fly out of here," and then his inner dialogue pierces with this question, "Why not? What do you have to lose?" He ruminates on this all day, and that causes a crack in the facade he built up over the years - the realization that he couldn't do that slavish routine anymore led him to say in his heart "This is my time, and this is my fiancée's time - it is OUR time!" and he returned home that evening a different person - a realization became clear that he needed to just step out, and so he did. Within six months, he and his beautiful Filipina fiancée would be sharing a smoldering, tender kiss on a distant beach in Palawan when he not only made the step, but he did so radically - he bought himself a one-way ticket and had no plans to return. There is a saying I have utilized and others have too that is proverbial - sometimes you just have to rip off the bandage. My character in that story did just that, but it took a dream and an Uber ride to make him realize just what he needed to do. Now, I want to transition to my personal feeling in this.
The point of creative writing - especially a fictional story - is that the author is often talking about themselves, and that is true here too for me. The character in that story personified me, and to be honest writing it helped me to see more clearly. Will I make that radical step my character in the story did? I don't think I am there yet, but I think God was speaking something through that to let me know that sometimes you just have to take the first step, kind of like the old Rankin-Bass Christmas cartoon Santa Claus is Coming to Town, where a young Kris Kringle actually converts an evil wizard into a good friend. The wizard, named Winter, was scary, evil, and had a lot of issues within him. Kris giving him that little toy train was the catalyst that cracked that ice shell around Winter's heart, and Kris sang a song in that cartoon to him that summarized it - "Put One Foot in Front of the Other." Taking the first step is the hardest and scariest sometimes, but once you take that step, it's a whole new world and you see things in a new way. With a lot that has been going on the past few years, I think that is where I am personally, and my character in the story definitely had that revelation too, just like the fictional wizard Winter did in that old Christmas cartoon. A few months back, I talked about the "unknown frontier," and it ties into this - you won't know what the frontier is unless you take the first step toward it. What's ahead may look clouded, scary, and uncertain, but taking that first step may be the best thing you can do for yourself. I am preaching to myself with this too, as I am sort of in that process myself, and it is no accident I was able to write the story either. I could say much more about this, but it would take a lot of sorting out to really do it, and I don't have the time to do that now but may hash it out in my journal at some point so I can articulate it better. Rest assured though, I will be revisiting it.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts this week, and will see you next time.


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