The Art of the Journal

 

For about 27 years or more, I have been keeping a personal journal.  Journaling is a practice that requires consistency and discipline, and thus it took a few false starts to really establish my own routine.  In recent years journaling has become more of a thing, and it's actually a good trend.  I wanted to just share my own experiences at journaling and use it to offer tips to others who may feel a desire to keep a journal, but no gumption to start one.  And, this is the first piece of advice I will give as we kick off the conversation - don't think about it, but just start!  That is what I essentially did, and it was the best thing I ever embarked upon as a personal project.  That being said, let's see where this conversation goes. 

There are many reasons and also many methods to journaling.  Journals can be permanent as a record of one's daily thoughts, or they can be specific - for instance, taking a course, undergoing a medical procedure, going through a life change, etc.   Some people feel the need to keep a specific journal for a specific reason - that is perfectly fine, as there is no rubric to when to keep a journal nor for how long.  The journal serves a primary purpose of challenging feelings and thoughts in a way one may not be otherwise able to communicate them, and it also is an opportunity to share feelings in a way you cannot with another person.  The journal is between you, it, and God, and only you can decide whether to share it or not.  This means then that anyone can keep a journal.  And, that leads to another observation.

You do not have to be a professional writer or anything else to keep a journal - write as you like, and don't worry about proper grammar, etc.  It does help if you know proper grammar, but it isn't necessary. Also, the more you write, the better you will write anyway.  Your journal will not be graded on grammatical perfection, and it also will not be scrutinized by a bunch of pompous-assed critics who fancy themselves literary experts (we all know about self-proclaimed "experts," and in all honesty, you can crap in one hand and place an "expert" opinion in the other, and then weigh them to see which has more substance).  Your journal is your thoughts, and you have the prerogative to express them in a way that reflects who you are.  Getting over that hurdle is something that will be a motivating factor in keeping a regular journal.  And, that leads to another issue worth examination - privacy.

A journal ideally is private - it is for the writer's eyes only, and the writer of the journal has the freedom to choose how much they want to disclose.  Even in a court of law, a personal journal should never be considered admissable evidence, as it is a violation of privacy and thus sacrosanct.  A person may actually be a raving psycho in their journal, but it is still just that - their journal. Further, if you are married, this is an area you also do have some freedom to not share with your spouse - if you feel comfortable doing so, then that is fine, but it should not be a condition of marriage for a spouse to have access to their husband's or wife's personal thoughts.  If a spouse tries to guilt you into letting you read your personal journal, it probably means that your spouse has serious insecurities and trust issues.  Therefore, at the start of a marriage, you can establish boundaries.  And, besides, if you pass away before they do, then they can read all they want because it will not matter then.  This may seem a bit controversial, but I think it is also a reasonable standard as well. 

So, this leads to methodology.  A journal is not something that is concrete as far as form goes - it can be as dry as just documenting daily activities, or it can be a practical novella.   That depends on the personality and writing style of the person keeping the journal.  Journals are also not restricted to just written words either - there are sketch journals, photo journals, and even scrapbook journals that contain bits and pieces of different things that inspire the person.   Content is also open as well - a journal can record daily events, it can also be a tool to use in daily religious devotion, it can be a way to vent things that may be weighing on one's mind, it can be a record of your dreams you have as you sleep, or it can be a combination of all the above.  That again is the prerogative of the person composing the journal.  In the case of mine, I am one who includes all the above, as together for me they present a more comprehensive picture.  Be as creative as you want with your journal, in other words. 

Another misconception is that a personal journal is just one book - anyone who would see mine would instantly radically change their view.  While there are instances of one-volume journals for particular circumstances, a journal kept daily will accumulate multiple volumes.  In my case, I have been writing in mine for over 27 years, and all of the books I have of my journal fill up a whole shelf in a cabinet right now, and there will be more I am sure.  The more and longer you write, the more of a personal library of your thoughts you are going to build.  I will get into shortly how that works, and what the best type of book to record your journal really is.  

As for designating time to keep a journal, in my experience that also varies.  While it is a good discipline to set aside a regular time each day to write down thoughts in your journal, it may not always be convenient.  Over the years, I have written entries in my journals in bizarre places such as office bathrooms, break rooms, restaurant booths, parking lots, parks, bus stops, and at my desk in offices I have worked on slow work days.  Writing in a journal is a good way to pass time when you are waiting on a bus or a ride, or if you have to be at the office some time before your work shift starts.  You can use it to clear your head and focus yourself for the day ahead in that case.  Ideally, I like writing journal entries before I go to sleep at night, as generally I am by myself and it is quiet and I don't risk being disturbed.  A big pet-peeve I have is when you happen to be writing at a bus stop or something and some stranger who doesn't know you from the man in the moon comes up and has to ask "Whatcha doin'?" and it will provoke a rude response like telling such a person what they can go do to themselves and to mind their own frigging business.  If you see a stranger reading a book, or writing something, just mind your own damn business and leave them alone - they don't want you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.  If they wanted to share that with you, they would - but, they don't know who you are, nor do they care, so what they do is not your business.  This is something called common courtesy.  I just wanted to share that as it is a major area of contention at times. 

A journal may also inspire one to pursue other things.  My journal, for instance, inspired me to blog, and it also gave me inspiration to write down my whole life story in a way that is comprehensive.  That latter aspect is something I owe a debt of gratitude to my late mother for.  Back when I was just beginning my journal in 1996, one day Mom was visiting our house and she got to talking about a dog we used to have named Jill.  Reliving some of those memories caused a bit of inspiration for me that night as I was doing my daily journal entry - I could use my journal as a way to tell my own story!  For the next year and a half or so, I wrote different aspects of my life story as part of my daily journal entry, and some time later I decided to collect those into a separate book and then add details as I recalled them or they were given to me on areas I may not have been old enough to remember.  After my 60th birthday in a few years, I plan on typing that whole story out and getting it bound into a book.  It is a legacy I can leave behind, and thus integral to keeping our family history fresh too. 

My journal has also aided in doing blogging like this - even this conversation on journaling is the result of a journal entry!  The journal helps me often to get some thoughts organized so I can present a good story for my blogs, and thus it plays an integral role.  It also has helped over the years with class projects and other things too.  While not divulging the entire aspect of the journal, you can glean the idea and apply it.  

One further aspect of journaling that is important has to do with dreams.  Everyone has dreams at night while we sleep, and on occasion those dreams stick out to us.  A dream can be explained by a number of things.  For one, it is a type of positive coping mechanism especially during times of stress.  Secondly, it is more or less a sort of convergence of a lot of thoughts, memories, etc., that one has floating around in their head - the dream mechanism gives those disparate thoughts expression.  Third, if you are a religious person like I am, some dreams have meanings - pay attention in particular to details that stick out in a dream, as they could have some significance.  Fourth, a dream can also be a reaction to too many onions in your fish cakes or spicy pepperoni on your pizza, and thus they can range from the bizarre to the frightening.  Whatever the case, if you wake up with that dream fresh on your mind, write it down!  If you cannot do a journal right away, then at least keep a small notebook handy to write your dream and its details down so you can then add it to your journal later.   Some people keep a journal exclusively for dreams too, and that is largely their choice on that.  Dreams can tell one a lot about themselves though, so it is important to document them.  And if a particular detail sticks out, then look it up to see if there may be some symbolism behind it.  I had a dream like that myself recently entailing my traveling to different Pacific islands.  In the dream, one particular word, "buhay," stuck out.  When I inquired about the meaning of that word, I found out it was a Tagalog word meaning "life."  Knowing that detail put that entire dream into perspective.  Writing these things down will prove valuable later. 

Finally, the question arises as to what type of book do you keep a journal in?  Again, there is not a set criteria for this, but I stick generally with professionally-made journal books as they just look better.  However, in the past I have used spiral notebooks, composition books, and other things as journals, but for the most part they are not really designed for the type of interaction you will want to have, so a neatly bound book specifically for journaling is your best bet.  On Amazon oftentimes, you can buy these in bulk quantities of ten, which is what I do.  That way, you don't have an interrupted journal routine.  Always keep a dependable ink pen with your journal book too - some ready-made books have a place for pens in them.   Then, keep the journal book in a secure place so that nosy people in the house do not mess with it.   You can also add things to the journal as well - items such as sticker art, bookmarks, photos, prayer cards, and even some newspaper and magazine clippings can be inserted between the pages.  I do this a lot with mine.  Your journal is a blank canvas, and thus you have the opportunity to design it as you see fit. 

Thank you for allowing me to share these practical tips about journaling, and I encourage you to maybe consider taking journaling up as a routine, as it will be a valuable resource later.  Any rate, so long until next visit. 

The Thrower Music Collection Update - Year 41

 In all honesty, I had not planned on updating this year because it has been a slow year for my collection.  With a lack of funds, as well as not really having a lot of items I am seeking after now, there was minimal activity.  But, I want to still report on what I did get, as it is significant.  

To begin, here are the numbers.  As of today, the total number of my items in my library is 3187, which breaks down to 1840 CDs, 1142 LP records, and 207 DVDs.   That means we are about 15 items from 3200 in the collection total.  The net gains for this year include 1 LP record, 1 2-disc CD set, and three DVD movies, which is a grand total of 6 new items.  Now, we can go into detail as to what those are. 

The LP record is of significance, as it is one of the last albums Harry James recorded before he passed away.  The LP is titled Ciribiribin after his theme song and was released in 1983.  I originally had this on a cassette tape when I was a teenager, and the major reason I got it was because of one song, Harry's stellar rendition of the 1970s pop song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You."   This recording is very hard to find reissued on CD, and as far as I am aware, I don't think it has been.  Therefore, getting it on LP assures it a place in the collection.  The CD set is of the 1920s saxophone legend Loren McMurray, who was featured on several early records of bands such as those of Sam Lanin and Ben Selvin, but he also had a group of his own.  Unfortunately, he was one of the earliest casualties of the era, as he passed away very young in 1922, just over 100 years ago.  McMurray, therefore, is one of the rare and unsung talents of the era, and thanks to Archeophone Records, his legacy has been given some attention and thus is preserved. As to movies, my good friends at Zeus DVDs have a treasure trove of vintage big band films, and one of those I obtained was A Song is Born, which was released originally in theatres in 1948 and featured the talents of Benny Goodman, Louis Armstrong, Lionel Hampton, Charlie Barnet, and Benny Carter.  A similar lineup could be found in a 1944 film I also got called Jam Session, and the third movie I was able to get was from 1943, Around the World, which was one of the many pictures Kay Kyser's orchestra was featured in.  With those added to my collection now, it pretty much gives us everything we wanted as far as vintage big band movies go, and those movies in my collection begin with 1929's The Vagabond Lover, featuring Rudy Vallee, and end with 1994's Swing Kids, which entailed the persecution that young big band and jazz fans faced in Nazi Germany during the 1940s.  Thanks to modern technology, I now have a library of all these vintage films, and that is amazing in itself.  Those six items are essentially what I have gotten this past year, and although few, they are still significant and are integral to preserving this great music. 

I was also able to get my second CD shelf assembled last December, and also able to integrate all of the new CDs I had gotten over the past 6 years into the main collection.  I have a small collection of classic jazz recordings I have been getting since I was younger, and I decided to integrate those into the collection as well, which also swelled the numbers a bit from where they were.  In this context, "classic jazz" refers essentially to any post-Swing Era small-group jazz acts - the bebop legends such as Charlie Parker and Theolonius Monk, late 1950s and early 1960s jazz groups such as those of Dave Brubeck, Vince Guaraldi, and Ray Bryant, and later fusion jazz such as Freddy Hubbard as well as classic original jazz from later years such as Wynton Marsalis.  Integrating those into my main music collection essentially broadens the scope of my interests a bit, in that now it is still predominantly big band recordings but also there is a substantial amount of early popular music vocalists and vocal groups, post-WWII modern jazz, and some instrumental items (early Ray Conniff, Henry Mancini, etc.) that I actually like.  However, unlike my early collection efforts in my teens, I am not being indiscriminate in my collection, but rather am focusing on some things I like and am incorporating those into the collection as a whole.  It shows a level of evolution in my efforts too, as in the early days of just buying quarter LPs at the Rio Mall, when I got practically any artist that Henry Boggen played on WBT on his Sunday night show I listened to then, to for many years just focusing on vintage big bands and trying to limit what else I got, to finally accepting that some of the other stuff was actually good and I had favorites that I liked (for instance, I still appreciate Pat Boone's "Love Letters in the Sand," as well as non-big band instrumentals like Ray Conniff's "S'wonderful" and Henry Mancini's "Theme from Mr. Lucky.").  So, I am at that point of just incorporating those into the collection and broadening my musical interests while at the same time remaining true to my vintage big band core collection.  And, after 41 years of my love of this music, I have a collection I like and can be proud of.  This is where we are as we embark on Year 42.  

I am also considering now taking my collection and turning it into something more constructive, and I feel like my soon-to-be-earned Ph.D. will be a vehicle for doing that.  Although my dissertation I am working on is something completely different from music, I have been toying with the idea of actually doing my own book later on vintage big bands, and it would be a different sort of book than the earlier histories of legendary writers and commentators such as George T. Simon and Leo Walker.  Rather, I am thinking more on the lines of what the big band genre actually is (and if it is even fair to call it "big band," as it also entailed a lot of smaller groups), as well as when and where this musical tradition evolved from.  My theories, as I have been listening to this stuff for a good 43 years now, are going to probably be something totally different from what many music historians have said.  For one, I don't tie big bands exclusively to the evolution of jazz - while they are somewhat entwined, the big band tradition I believe predates jazz by decades, in that I see its roots in the parlor orchestras - such as those of Edward Issler - of the 1880s, as well as the minstrel show music of individuals such as Will Marion Cook from around the same period of time.  The collection I have now actually reflects that, and what I want to do is create a new and unique history of this great music that would entail my theories on this.  I can see it now though - there will be jazz purists, as well as even other big band enthusiasts, who will more than likely give me guff about what I will say, but that is OK.  After all, I am not the first to stir up controversy in that area, as the late jazz historian Richard Sudhalter sort of did the same thing in his book Lost Chords when he correctly noted that jazz was not exclusively an African-American art form, but rather an American art form that reflected the melting-pot influence of its earliest performers.  I plan on also incorporating Sudhalter's view into my own thesis, and basically taking it and expanding it but not focusing as much on jazz, as the music genre called big band actually encompasses even more complexity in its origins.  I aim to do essentially the first academic study of the big band movement as a whole. and in doing so, it will be my ultimate expression of my own passion for collecting this wonderful music. And, a project like that would be the ultimate legacy of my own interest in the music itself. 

As for this coming year, I am not sure where we are going. I don't have a set goal as to how many CDs or anything else I will acquire, but I do have my eyes on a couple of things.  For one, there has recently been a reissued collection of several volumes on the Classics label of Hal Kemp's whole catalogue, and at this time there are seven volumes.  That will be an objective this year.  The other item I have on the scope that is of interest is a classic LP that was released in 1958 that was very innovative.  It features two orchestras - Les Brown's Band of Renown and the orchestra of Vic Schoen (who was better known for being the conductor of the band that backed the Andrews Sisters and others in the 1930s and 1940s) - who combine their talents to create a serious work for two bands playing together.  I have heard some of this actually, and it is phenomenal.  The album has never been reissued on CD, so I will settle for the LP original for now.  There may be some other things that come up between now and next year at this time, so we will play that by ear.  But, the goal has been set, and we will get the Hal Kemp collection as well as the Les Brown/Vic Schoen LP classic.  If we are successful at obtaining those, it will boost my collection to 3195, just short of 3200.  That is OK though, as I am at a point in my collection where numbers are no longer a factor, but rather focusing on those items we really want to get.  

Thank you for allowing me to share my journey of 41 years of a phenomenal music collection, and I look forward to sharing Year 42.  

My Choice For President

 Election Year - 2024 - is fast approaching, and already there are a number of candidates who have thrown their proverbial hats in the ring.  A lot is at stake in this election, perhaps more than in any other.  At present, we have a senile old fool named Joe Biden who is in the White House, and he is useless, corrupt, out-of-touch, and he is more interested in Ukrainian transvestites than he is his own citizens.  Simply put, we cannot afford another 4 years of him.  There are plenty of Republican candidates - as well as one somewhat decent Democrat, RFK Jr. - vying for the position.  So, who will come out on top?   Let's look at things.

The obvious front-runner for the Republicans is Donald Trump, and Trump does represent the mindset of the average man in the street in so many ways.  Then there is Ron DeSantis, who has been a stellar governor in Florida and also has some good ideas, although he often does not really have the "oomph" factor to communicate them.  Then, there are some really bad Republicans - the overly-obese Chris Christie, who is useless; Asa Hutchinson, who in reality should be a Democrat; and Nikki Haley, who on occasion has said good things but for the most part I cannot really figure her out.  Then there is the former Vice President and Race Bannon (from the old Johnny Quest cartoons) clone Mike Pence - Pence is a nice guy, but as a leader he would stink honestly.  But, there is another who really has shaken up the status quo, and to be honest I am putting my support around him to be the Republican nominee, and that is newcomer Vivek Ramaswamy.  I want to focus my discussion now on him, as he is of interest.  

Vivek Ramaswamy is an American-born tycoon and entrepreneur of Asian Indian descent, and at 38 he is youthful and enthusiastic.  He has many good ideas, and so far what I have seen of him I like.  Now, mind you, I am not a Republican myself - I would rather have a dozen root canals than be part of the current Republican Party, which is dominated by a bunch of Establishment hacks who are out-of-touch with their base.   The candidates that are getting noticed are the ones who stand out - Trump, DeSantis, and now Vivek.  To be honest, any of the three of them I believe would be a good Republican contender against the Senile Sovereign that is in the Oval Office now, but it will come down to one.  More than likely Trump will be the guy who gets the nomination, and naturally I will vote for him if he does.  But, there are issues with both Trump and DeSantis that need to be considered, and like commentator Ben Shapiro said today in his podcast, the objective is to kick Biden out of the White House, and we need the best person to do that.  Are any of these guys that person?  

Trump has already been President, and while he was in office he did a lot of good stuff for the country.  Having him back in the White House would be very welcomed.  But, Trump has issues.   For one, the myriad indictments taking place against him - all of which I think are bogus and are a way Democrats are plotting to get rid of him as a serious contender -  may cause a problem.  Also, despite the fact I believe Trump to be effective, his weakness is that at times he doesn't activate the filter between his mouth and his brain, and that has caused him issues.   As for DeSantis, he has excellent policies and a pretty impressive and effective track record as Governor of Florida.  He has the potential to be a wonderful leader if he were elected, but the problem is that he is now becoming America's best-kept secret - he is not really strong on his national campaign.  Then there is Vivek - of the top three, I think Vivek has a lot of promise.  He is passionate, very conservative, and he also does admit where he is weak and I believe he knows how to delegate authority so that his weaknesses can be compensated.  Even people who like Trump and DeSantis seem to also have a fondness for Vivek, but at times there are some things people bring up about him, and I want to get into that now. 

The first thing people tend to bring up is that Vivek is not a Christian, but a Hindu.  I have heard some conservative commentators I listen to say that an American President has to be Christian.  I would argue that this is not necessarily true.  We are not electing a religious leader; we are electing the leader of our nation, and personally I want a leader who reflects my values, and although Vivek is Hindu, he does  have some pretty good traditional views on social issues - that is all I am really concerned about, and he passes the test there.  Some others have made issue about his name - it is obviously not a European name by any stretch, but again, I am not concerned about that at all.  After all, did we not have a President for 8 years named Barack Hussein Obama??  That is definitely not a European name either, despite the fact I am distantly related to him on my mother's side of the family - that does not mean I like him though, because Obama was one of the worst Presidents we had yet and he was elected based on his skin color and not his policies or his record, which were practically nonexistent.  Therefore, if a conservative Hindu who loves America more than the White Democrat leftists do becomes President, I am OK with it, and I could care less what his name is.  If we can have a Barack Hussein Obama for 8 years, I don't think there should be an issue with a guy named Vivek Ramaswamy.  

Another issue that many conservatives have with Vivek is his stance on legal immigration - he wants to establish a vetting process for that but not have a set quota or limit, and that has caused concern with some.  Personally, I am conservative, but I am an independent, so in all honesty I am somewhat flexible on this like Vivek is, and I have personal reasons I won't get into now for why I believe as I do.  Not every conservative talking point is good, I will just say that, and there are a few areas I would disagree fundamentally with other Conservatives on, but I also understand where they come from and I respect them too.  This is one of those issues.  The key concept here in regard to immigration is legal - if someone wants to come to our country and respects the system enough to comply with it, that means a lot.  It also means they appreciate American enough to be good patriotic citizens once they are nationalized, and we need all of those we can get!  I have known many foreign-born nationalized citizens of our nation, and many of them are very patriotic, as well as being political Conservatives.  I respect those people, and they are a wonderful addition to our nation, so I would welcome them.  So, I think Vivek has a good idea here - it could probably use a little tweaking and refining, but I think he is smart enough to know that too, so we should give him credit. 

In summary, I am supporting Vivek Ramaswamy as a viable Presidential candidate.  He may or may not get nominated, but he is essential in that he is bringing some things to the table that need to be addressed.  Provided the Republicans nominate a good candidate like Vivek, Trump, or DeSantis, that person will have my vote regardless.  But, I am firmly on Vivek's side too, and it would be wonderful if he would become the nominee to usurp the Alzheimer's Autocrat in the White House now.  Thank you for allowing me to share this brief PSA, and my prayers for our good candidates who are running, and also prayers that the bad ones will evaporate like the dew on the morning grass. 

Exploring the Background Ideology of An Evil Regime

 There has perhaps been more attention given to the various aspects of the Third Reich over the past 80 or so years since World War II, and much research has focused upon military history, the Holocaust, and the personage of Adolf Hitler.  However, one of the lacking areas of research for this period of history is the background of how the National Socialist Party (Nazis) came into existence.  And that raises many questions worthy of research.  For one, what things did influence the evolution of National Socialism?  Secondly, how did those concepts converge to construct a new ideology, and to what degree did the Nazis fully identify with earlier movements?  Finally, when studying the Third Reich, one notices that Hitler and the Nazis actually ended up persecuting people they shared views with - why was that?   These are the questions warranting a need to tackle, and now they will be the focus of this Ph.D. dissertation. 

As with anything else, the important foundational fact in researching this or any other topic is that things do not appear suddenly out of a vacuum - somewhere along the way, there are factors that shape, influence, and contribute to the overall final product.  While some historians have indeed specialized in this aspect of the research - two that come to mind are Richard Weikart and Benjamin Wiker - for the most part it is often shrugged off by academia as being too broad of a topic with the impossibility of narrowing down. This is a problem that is evident at the university level in dealing with faculty.  One faces challenges with this whole thing due to the fact that there are serious barriers to research - one, surprisingly, is the academic institution itself.  This is a major reason why this topic has not been indulged from a more scholarly perspective, although tons of popular literature on topics such as Nazism and the occult are widely available, and the recourse is to often use these sources as a resource to find primary source material, as surprisingly these more "conspiratorial" works so easily dismissed by academics do have a wealth of primary source leads for more in-depth research.  And, in the case of Nazism, it is also important to know German as well, which I do have extensive language study in.  One thing to remember though is to "stay the course" despite garnering opposition, and in time the research will compensate itself. 

In conducting research on these ideological sources, it is admittedly a challenge to sort things out, but in doing so research has been narrowed to four primary areas - occultism, political movements that arose at the end of the 19th century in Germany and Austria, the impact of social Darwinism and also the issue of homosexuality in early Nazi circles, and finally the philosophical views of Nietzsche, Houston Stewart Chamberlain, and Martin Heidegger.  The approach is to treat each of these areas individually, and then see how they converge and intersect in creating what became the National Socialist movement.  The oft-overlooked question, however, would be how the Nazis cherrypicked ideas and then discarded the sources of those ideas when they were no longer convenient.  The jailing, for instance, of Karl Haushofer, the geopolitical professor who more or less gave Hitler the idea of Lebensraum, and the falling from grace of Rudolf von Sebottendorf, the early German occultist who founded the Thule Society, an occultic sect that birthed the National Socialist Party as a political arm.  For a lot of this type of material, German-language sources in the form of correspondence and official government documents is crucial, as the Nazis had a public face that often belied their origins and seemed to contradict them.  Aside from identifying the ideological sources themselves, this is one of the more important factors that merits further examination outside of "conspiratorial" literature as was popular on these topics during the 1970s and 1980s.  

Much scholarship in this area - including some well-meaning professors at the particular university where this dissertation will be submitted - casually dismiss the possibility of an organized National Socialist ideology.  While it is understandable where they are coming from (it is agreed that the Nazis were one of the evilest movements to ever exist), caution must be exercised to avoid being too dismissive of this.  In order for a movement to have success - both good and evil movements - having an organized platform of ideas is crucial.  And, while the Nazis tended to be somewhat utilitarian and opportunistic, they did still manage to craft a very plain ideology that merits some examination, as it also sheds light on the background of the Holocaust and World War II in general.  Therefore, the focus of this research is primarily in the decades prior to the Third Reich - from approximately the 1890s to the 1920s - and focuses on ideological and social history primarily, with some examination of the overarching themes present in the time period as a whole (the conflict between Enlightenment-era rationalism and the rise of interest in alternative religious expressions during the Victorian period in America and Europe, etc.).  In understanding the overarching influences and factors that provided the fertile ground for cultivating a certain ideology, it brings a fuller understanding of what the ideology actually is. 

Therefore, in conclusion, this is a project that entails ideological background, and at times sources will need to be used that fall out of the academic spectrum - meaning popular or "conspiratorial" literature - because this area has honestly been largely ignored until recent years by conventional scholarship. Many of these undiscovered sources conceal a wealth of primary source material (including much in the original language of the culture the topic addresses) that would aid in this study, and therefore cannot be casually dismissed.  Some of these sources may actually contain material that is agreeable to the researcher, but agreement must not supersede empirical evidence.  That is perhaps the most prominent historiographical issue for this specific topic.  However, it must be restated that understanding the background of an ideology of any sort will provide a backdrop for other topics within the same historical context.  

A Little Catching Up

 So, it has been a while since I have been here, as I have been quite busy with many things at this point. As I am writing this, I am getting ready next week to do my final exam essay in the last of what are called my Comp courses - these are comprehensive reading requirements that are divided into four courses for the doctoral program at my university, and they consist of subject areas in early America, modern America, early modern Europe (from the end of the Middle Ages to the French Revolution), and modern Europe (from Napoleon to the 21st century).  These courses are somewhat of a pain in the butt honestly, as each one requires six sets of discussion notes to be prepared over the 8 weeks of the class, and then you post those and respond to two of your classmates and their notes.  The way these are set up is that you have to discuss six sources - two books, two academic journal articles, and two primary sources.  This includes picking out the major research questions, the conclusions the source reaches, and the significance of a particular source to historical discourse.  It is very time-consuming doing those, but thankfully I just completed my last one (24 total over 4 courses!) and I am about done with the Comps then as of next week from this writing.  I then will begin the actual dissertation phase of my program starting on May 15, and for the next year it will be all about the dissertation, and at the end and after a successful defense I will then be able to preface my name with the initials "Dr."  This is a huge deal honestly, and I am so thankful that soon my almost 50+ years of education will soon be completed.  It will be nice finishing that, in all honesty, and then my next role in a classroom will be in front of it teaching.  So, in case any of you missed my pithy, insightful commentary on here, that is the reason why.  I will not be writing as frequently for a while, but I do intend to occasionally conversate with you virtually here.  

Life has been a complex mixture of challenges over the past few months too.  I have been hit with a few financial curve balls over the past few months, and it has been a bit stressful.  Thankfully, the dust has been starting to settle a little now and things are working out.  I also did have my recent six-month medical check-up last month, and that went very well - still have to watch the glucose and tri-gly counts but other than that I am fine.  I also do have a sleep study my doctor ordered coming up, as he wants to test me for sleep apnea, and I do need extensive dental work as well - my teeth, in all honesty, are a mess as I have not been to a dentist in almost 50 years.  I am thinking I will need implants for sure in my mouth, so I will be working toward that too.  I also have been offered a position with a preparatory academy in my home state of West Virginia, and if the background screening for it goes well, I will be starting that in September.  In summary, life has been extremely busy lately, and it looks like it will continue to be so for a while. 

As many of you now know, about two years ago Barbara and I divorced, and a couple of months ago we also got our annulment from the Church as well, thanks in part to our wonderful priest who helped us with the process.  However, Barbara and I are still very good friends, and we will be probably the rest of our lives.  It is a very widespread fallacy that many in society have about divorce - a divorced couple does not have to hate each other, especially if they are Christians to begin with, and if you can still be friends despite the ending of a marriage, it actually shows a high level of spiritual and emotional maturity.  I will not go into a lot of details as to why our marriage ended, but unfortunately it did, yet neither of us really blames each other - the circumstances actually show that we were both victims of the same thing, and we both understand that and are better friends because of it.  Barbara is actually like a sister I never had, and we do still care for and look out for each other as if we were siblings.  That is actually a wonderful thing, and I could not ask for a better friend than her.   While our marriage did not work out, not every aspect of that is bad either, because we do share many good memories and do still talk about them.  And, we have both also moved on with our lives in other areas - more on that at another time.  So, the lesson here is quite essential - divorce is an unfortunate fact of our fallen world, but even in the tragedy of divorce good fruit can be borne, and indeed it has with Barbara and myself. Therefore, do not be quick to judge us or any other divorced couple - like that guy Dhar Mann often says in those inspirational videos he has, you can never judge a book by its cover, as between the covers is an entire story.  I direct this especially toward some of our friends and family who claim to be "religious" - both Barbara and I have known many of the same people over the years, and many of them identify as conservative Evangelical Protestants.  This leads me to a little soapbox I want to stand on for a little bit, as some things need to be said. 

Those of us who are Christians know that our God is righteous and just, but what we tend to forget is that God - and especially incarnate in Jesus Christ - is a God of mercy and grace too.  While this would be a better discussion probably for the SPT blog, I mention it here for a more personal dimension.  Everyone on this earth, regardless of who or what you are, has screwed up on occasion.  We all sin, make bad choices, and at times our judgments are a bit clouded.  All of us with no exceptions.  The big theological term for this is concupiscence, and it is affirmed in Scripture in particular by Romans 3:23 - all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Even after we are converted and are baptized as Christians, we still war with that, and this is the reason why God has given the gift of supernatural grace - as both Aquinas and Bonaventure teach in their writings, the role of supernatural grace is to elevate, heal, and perfect us.  It isn't the same idea of grace that many of us were wrongly taught as Protestants, that it is simply "unmerited favor" - that definition confuses grace with something else, and that is mercy. Grace helps us grow, but mercy is the supernatural intervention - which we do not often deserve - that sustains us.  So, it is mercy that is an "unmerited favor," not grace.  And how do we receive both? Through our faith in God, in particular the ultimate mercy God gave us - Himself on a cross for our sins.  So, for my Evangelical Protestant friends, that is an important difference you should understand, and at a later time I will do a full teaching on that in my SPT blog.  For now in this context though, it has to do with attitudes both Barbara and I have faced by some of our friends over the years.  That is what I want to talk about now.

Divorce is an unfortunate effect of the Fall that even affects Christians, as we all are in the process of letting supernatural grace do its work to elevate, heal, and perfect us.  However, there is a nasty stigma that surrounds divorce for Christians, and it involves these three faulty ideas:

1. A divorced person is destined for hell

2. A divorced person who remarries commits adultery.

3. A divorced person is apparently not good enough for God.

All three of these ideas are wrong, cruel, and ultimately can harm someone, and Christians in particular need to throw them out.  In all honesty, I used to hold to at least two of these ideas too, but after experiencing a divorce myself, I had to grow up fast.  The fact is, a divorced person who is a Christian does not forfeit God's favor, and there are even times when the divorce is not even the intention of one or either party, but it unfortunately happens.  Now, there is a procedure however to follow in the event of a divorce, and it is basically just common sense and simple.  If you are a Catholic who has divorced, you will also need the marriage annulled.  This can be a scary process, but a caring priest will walk each former spouse through it.  During the annulment process, no remarriage is possible.  Also, a civil divorce is also legal, and is recognized as such by most Christian traditions.  So, before even thinking of moving on, that would have to be in order.  It is not a sin at all for a properly divorced (and in the Catholic context, annulled) person to remarry.  As a matter of fact, if such a person finds one to love like that, it is actually a beautiful thing because we as human beings are made to need the companionship of a soulmate - there is a certain incompleteness one has if they are alone, unless they do have a calling to be celibate.  That is just how we are hard-wired.  If the proper steps are taken, then remarriage is NOT adultery at all, and if the chemistry and true love is there, it is actually a beautiful new beginning for such a person. And, in saying that a divorced person is "not good enough for God," let's also enlighten that too - remember, no one can be good enough for God anyway on their own merits - ain't gonna happen!  But, because of Christ, we are made good as a mercy through his Blood shed for all of our sins.  And, that includes divorced people - if a divorced person still serves God, then they are in a good place and God does not hate them nor does he expect them to be "good enough" for him - he chose them and his love is unconditional. All we have to do is accept that mercy and let God love us as we are.  Then, supernatural grace will be given to us to do the rest.  So, if someone says that a divorced person (or any other sinner for that matter) is "not good enough for God," they are in effect committing heresy, because that is not what God's own words say in his Bible.  So, if you are one of those people who finds it necessary to condemn a divorced person in your church, you better look in the mirror first, because you have in essence become a "church Karen" and probably have issues of your own you are avoiding.  A Christian comedian, Taylor Ransom, portrays such "church Karens" vividly as one of the characters he portrays, and it is worth watching (plus, it is extremely hilarious!).  Any rate, if you are a divorced person who has experienced these attitudes from people, there is encouragement for you - God still loves you, so find your refuge in him, and let him take care of those who attack you. 

I really did not mean to get off on a Bible study here, but I think it needs to be said and some people do need to hear it.  And, I am writing from the heart too, as it is my own experience as well.  After our divorce, I noted already that Barbara and I are still close, and people who we encounter at Mass and elsewhere actually find us to be a true witness of God's grace at work - I am not saying that to brag, but I do love the witness Barbara and I still have with people we come across.  Other couples in a divorced Catholics group I am part of on social media have also been encouraged by my story too, and on occasion I find other spiritually mature people who also have moved past the divorce and are still close friends with their former spouses. Some have remarried other people obviously, but it has also created a beautiful community among them.  That is really something we should take to heart and think about, because it is integral to our spiritual and emotional growth too. 

I am also saddened this past month as well, as I lost one of my oldest and dearest childhood friends.  Sim Taylor and I have known each other since we were in 3rd grade over 44 years ago, and to be honest he was like a brother.  I last talked to him on March 7, and at the time he was going through a lot too - he had issues at his workplace, and a couple of years ago he lost his wife.  Little did I know that would be the last conversation I had with Sim, as the next day while he was at work he had an aneurysm that ruptured in his brain, and it took his life on March 9.  It was really a blow to learn about that, because on average we would talk back and forth at least once a week, and I started noticing a couple of weeks back that I hadn't heard anything out of him for a while.  So, I checked his social media, and his sister had posted that he passed away - that stunned me, as he is the same age as me.  I want to now just share a few memories of Sim with you now, as we go back a long way. 

                                                            Sim and I back in 2016

Sim Taylor was a neighbor of my dad's back in the day.  He and his family - his mom, stepdad, and two sisters - lived in a house a block over on Union Street from Dad's house on Ellis Street in Brunswick, GA.  We met actually in third grade at Burroughs Mollette School in Brunswick, and given we were close neighbors, we later became good friends.  One of the things we both enjoyed was watching a cartoon then called Space Giants.  This was a Japanese science-fiction series that was produced originally in the mid-1960s, and it could be described as something that would happen if Power Rangers were merged with Lost in Space, and it featured as its prime protagonist a huge giant gold robot named Goldar. Although it looks somewhat corny now, back then the local TV station in Jacksonville aired it on weekday afternoons, and for some reason Sim got me watching that.  There were times he would come over and watch it at Dad's house with me, and we would have cookies and chocolate milk as we watched the program.  Recently, I actually found that whole series on DVD and bought it, and it was kind of fun to watch again.  We also attended each other's youth group meetings at churches - Sim's folks went to the Nazarene church near their house, and they had a program for elementary-aged boys called the Caravans, and I went to those meetings with Sim.  I was actually part of another church, Beverly Shores Baptist Church, and also part of that boys' group there called the Royal Ambassadors.  I would on occasion take Sim to those too.  And, of course, like most kids, we formed our own club which we called the "Secret Agents" on Sim's recommendation - neither one of us knew why the hell we called it that, but it sounded cool to two nine-year-old boys.  After leaving and going back to Mom in the summer of that year (1979), I had lost touch with Sim for many years, although my dad would say occasionally that he ran into him and would tell me how he was.  Thanks to social media though, about 10 years ago we were able to get back in touch, and since then we have been close again.  He was an amazing friend.  In the years in between, Sim and I lived our respective lives - I went to college, and Sim got a job at 19 at the local seafood processing plant on St. Simons (the old Sea Pak Foods, now Rich Foods I believe), and he married an older lady while I married at 22 to Barbara, and life went on for both of us.  But, once we got back in touch, it was as if we never stopped talking since 3rd grade together.  He was an amazing guy, and one of my best friends, and I am sure going to miss him.  Rest eternal Bro and will see you again one day. 

So, that concludes our insights for today, and hope to visit again soon.  It has been really busy with my doctoral work and other responsibilities, so I won't be here as frequently, but do plan to check in.  Have a good week everyone and catch you next time. 

Year-End Perspectives

 Today as I write this - December 20 - we are approaching the end of 2022.  There is a lot about this year to talk about, and therefore this is my year-end post.   First, I wish everyone here a joyous holiday season, whether you observe Christmas, Hannukah, or you are just waiting to ring in 2023.  I do not count Kwanzaa in that, because it is a fake holiday - no offense to people of color, but most Blacks I know already celebrate Christmas anyway, and a few are even Jewish, so Kwanzaa makes no sense to me.  That is my politically incorrect observation to really spark interest in what I say.  For those who may take issue with that, lighten up - people are allowed to have different opinions, so I advise the detractors of my statement to grow a pair.  Thank you, and that is a fun way to kick off the conversation!

This, in all honesty, has been perhaps one of the weirdest years I have had in a long time.  It wasn't totally bad, but a lot of things have happened over the course of the year that have cast an air of uncertainty over it.  The biggest factor was the loss of my mother back in March, when she succumbed to a lingering medical issue she was fighting since December of last year.  Given Mom had no actual estate, and her status as a veteran, taking care of her arrangements was not a big challenge.  She was interred in a beautiful veteran's cemetery just outside of Cumberland, MD, called Rocky Gap, and the gravesite is actually very beautiful too, with a panoramic mountain view overlooking the site.  Burying Mom was not the biggest challenge, and it never is - the real burden was in missing her after she was gone.  I imagine that anyone who has experienced the loss of a parent could relate to this - you have them with you all your life, and then they are gone.  And, as the reality of that sets in (as it did for me in May) it can be overwhelming.  Mom's loss means that both parents are now gone onto their eternal reward, and that is an equally weird feeling too.  

Also, my doctoral studies at Liberty University, which thankfully I can do fully online from home, are in a good place.  I was accepted into an honor society, the Omega Nu Lamda Online Honor Society, earlier this year, and I also was able to be rewarded my Executive Certificate in History, which is a post-graduate credential that is achieved once one meets the mid-point of the doctoral program.  My courseload this year has been a little different, as the majority of the Spring and Summer terms were seminar courses that help prepare one for the dissertation phase of the program, and at the end of the Fall semester I have completed about 50% of the Comp Reading phase - I will finish that up in the Spring with two courses on Early Modern and Modern Europe.  Then after taking what is essentially a dissertation intro course called Doctoral Historical Research in the Summer term, I officially start the last year of the program in the dissertation phase, which will (if all goes well) be a nine-month stretch.  Once that is done and the dissertation is written, I will be scheduled for a defense of it and upon successful completion of that I will then officially be a Ph.D.  I really have wanted my doctorate since my undergrad years, and it is so good to be so far along with it now and seeing the end is in sight.  In all honesty, I wish I would have had this done 20 years ago, but the circumstances of life did not allow it then.  But I am able to do it now.  I have faced much opposition over the years from even family members, but I have some advice for people who have encountered this type of opposition - most of the real detractors really have opinions that mean little or nothing.  They are not encouraging you; they are not investing anything into your endeavors, they do not know your heart or spirit, and they just don't matter. Even if it is family, I offer some very practical advice - when they come against you, just tell them to go screw themselves.  They do not have a right to say anything to you, and you don't have an obligation to listen to them - they are useless, and they will only drag you down and distract you if you give them any leeway.  Just continue to do what you do, and in my case, I have done well, and if any of my "critics" have anything to say, I say to them - "Merry Christmas, and screw you!"  A little coarse I know, but they deserve it. Toxic relatives are one of the greatest causes of disappointment in people's lives, and to be honest, they forfeit the title of "family" when they come against you.  They are parasites, viruses, and their opinion is not worth what I scrape out of the cat's litterboxes when I clean them.  I used to have more resentment towards such people, but in all reality, that is not worth it either.  They really do not matter, and your focus should be on what you are driven to do, and they do not have any place in your life if they don't know how to be encouraging and supportive.  So, again, screw them.  

Besides losing my mom and continuing my doctoral work, this year has had a number of other challenges too, but we have come through them. That is the other lesson of the year too - trusting in God.  I have come to a place where I have no choice but to trust God, as at times things can be somewhat beyond our control.  The challenges make one stronger, and they are the building blocks of true character too.  It is also important to remember as well that if God brought you this far, then he is going to take care of everything else.  That is the big lesson of the year. 

Not all news was uncertain and challenging this year though, as there have been many good things happening too.  For one, although I lost my little bunny Trixie in July, I did get two of the most adorable bunnies to replace her, one a white female with gray spots we named Zoe and the other a black lionhead/Lop mix I named Buzzy.  A few weeks ago, they blessed us with four little babies, and they are about to get new homes soon - they are adorable, and if you are local and reading this, consider a bunny as a Christmas present for someone and please get in touch.  I also have another piece of news I will share at another time, as presently I am not able to do so, but it has been a very wonderful thing that has happened for me going back to July.  Maybe at the end of next year I will share more on that too. 

It has also been a good year for travel too, as during the summer I was able to go to Ocean City, and to Hershey, PA.  That was actually quite nice and fun, and it is good to get out a little and enjoy life.  And, although Barbara and I are now divorced, we still get along very well and are very close, and to be honest she has been a Godsend with many things this year, especially in dealing with Mom's passing.  I am very thankful she was around then.  One day, I will tell more of Barbara's and my story, but essentially it goes back 33 years, and we started off as close friends, and we are back there again.  At some point I will share more details, as it will be obvious that people will have questions.  Therefore, that is a preview for next year.  

As for my music collection and other things, after celebrating 40 years of collecting my vintage big band records, I am in a new place with that.  I am not anticipating a whole lot of new stuff this coming year, and don't have many plans to get a lot either save a couple of rarer finds I want to acquire. With an uncertainty regarding my income and such at this point, I am not planning a lot of groundbreaking purchases in the coming months.  This is a transitory period for me and I am not really sure of what direction things will take, so it is all a "wait and see" state right now.  I already have pretty much everything else I need though, so a lot of extensive purchases will really not be necessary.  God has been good despite challenges. 

At any rate, that is where we are at approaching the end of 2022.  I hope and pray that everyone reading this has a blessed and good New Year, and I will see you next time.  

Casual Observation

 Good Morning my faithful readers!  Glad to drop in on occasion as always, although obviously not as much as I used to.  With completing a doctorate and some other stuff going on, it is more challenging these days to just stop and smell the lilacs so to speak.  But, I wanted to just give a few impromptu observations just to let people know I still do exist - my time has not come yet, and hopefully will not for a while!  I am not sure where this is going to go, but we will see. 

For one thing, let's talk about changing seasons.  As I sit here watching this, the leaves outside are turning more gold, more red, and more orange with each passing minute.  This is western Maryland after all, and unlike Florida some years back, the seasons actually do change here.  Fall is a good time, and while I am sure that most people hear ad nauseum about the beauties of Fall, and the ability to indulge in Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Lattes as well as practically anything else that has "Pumpkin Spice" flavor (even Pringles!  I love pumpkin spice, but when it comes to my potato chips, there are limits).  I like Fall for several reasons myself.  For one, no more mowing the lawn until Spring!  I give a big "praise be to God!" on that.  My lawn is relatively small, and it takes me all of 30 minutes to mow it, but it is still not a job I particularly enjoy.  I do, however, love how the lawn looks when I finish.  About 3 years ago, I got a new mower from Fingerhut (yes, I love Fingerhut!) and while it overall does the job, I keep losing the bolts out of the handle assembly, and have to jerry-rig it almost every time I mow.  That tends to get a little tedious.  I am debating possibly ordering a new mower in the Spring, depending on several things, and should that happen hopefully the jerry-rig ritual every time I mow the yard will end.  Bottom line, like most people, I hate the actual duty of mowing the lawn, but love the results. However, it does tend to go a little easier when one is not losing hardware off the machine.  The down side to this is that in a short time there will be snow, and shoveling snow is also a chore.  So, that means rotating things around in the shed to get my rock salt and snow shovel out, although I also do have a new snow blower I want to give a try to also.  In all, God allows changing seasons I believe to make sure we don't get bored with one temperature all year round, like they unfortunately have to in Florida, the Philippines, and Hawaii.  And, for the leftist hacks who yell "climate change" whenever they scald their hand on a hot door handle in the summers, let me say this - climate change is real, and it happens four times a year in most parts of the world unless you live near the polar regions or the tropics.  So, that should settle that debate then, although some "fact checker" (meaning a fat 25-year-old college dropout living in his mama's basement) may try to get me lynched for saying it. 

I wanted to do a bit of a memorial here too.  We have lost some pretty amazing people in the past several months, and one who comes to mind is Joe Bussard (pronounced Boo-sard, not "buzzard").As  a kid, I recalled Joe's radio program on the local station every weekend, when he would play some ultra-rare recordings from his vast collection, and although that program was geared toward the country/western audience, Joe collected records from a wide variety of musical genres, and he is looked upon as a legend among other collectors.  Although he had a run for his money with Greg Drust, who also has an impressive collection in Wisconsin, Joe was perhaps one of the premiere music archivists in the US.  

                               Joe Bussard (1936-2022), the legendary vintage record collector 

I think with perhaps the passing of my role model Chuck Cecil a few years back, I feel a sense of loss at Joe's passing.  Joe lived relatively close by in his hometown of Frederick, and I had a very high admiration for him honestly because he was the envy of other collectors for sure.  While I have just under 3200 total items in my own collection, Joe had tens of thousands!  He would scour every possible obscure place to find some of the rarest recordings ever issued, and in all honesty, I wish that someone who is managing his estate would digitize his collection to make it available, as it is very historically significant.  I also said the same thing about Chuck Cecil's hundreds of hours of vintage radio programs - my, how I would love to get a CD collection of those!  But, his daughter Sherry, out of respect for his wishes, does not circulate those. However, I think they have been donated to an archive somewhere so maybe in the near future hope will produce reality.  Guys like Joe Bussard, Chuck Cecil, and Greg Drust have done a tremendous service, and thankfully there are some of us carrying on the same work.  My old dream years ago was to host my own vintage big band radio show, and with the popularity of podcasts, I might still look into that after I finish my doctorate and other pursuits currently.  I talked about the 40th anniversary of my own collection which I just commemorated on October 1st, but the one thing I want to do with my music collection is make it productive in some way, but the question is how to do that?  Perhaps when I have more time to ponder it, I can come up with something.  Having collected this stuff for 40 years, and being a historian myself, perhaps I can make something educational from it.  I will explore that at some point. 

Onto other issues, I am on the cusp of some major decisions.  In all honesty, the house I live in now is becoming too cramped for me, and I need a new place soon.  I was contemplating buying this place, which I lease now, but other factors have come into play.  For one thing, the management company that actually owns the community I live in frankly is bad - while the onsite leasing manager is OK, the overall company is made up of greedy individuals who expect a lot and give little, so that is a sign to move on.  Many of our residents in our community here feel the same way, and our Residents Association is often at odds with the property management for many valid concerns.  Lately, I have been looking to move back to my home state of West Virginia, and so far the most viable option is Charles Town, so I have begun a search over there for a nice house.  My parish church, after all, is there now too and also Maryland is just becoming too unreasonably unaffordable (thanks in part to bad Democrat politicians both at the state and national level).  I was planning on sticking it out here until I finished my doctoral program, but for some other reasons it is looking more feasible to move soon. As with a lot of things this year, there is much uncertainty about things now, so we will see how it plays out.  For my readers of faith, your prayers are greatly appreciated. 

That is just a few things I wanted to share today as I continue to enjoy my Fall break this week between courses, and I do not know if or when I will have more opportunities to talk.  Therefore, everyone, enjoy your Fall season, and will be back to talk soon.