The Scoop on "Amish Mafia"

About two years ago, this so-called "reality show" premiered on Discovery Channel of all things that supposedly documented a sort of subversive underworld among the Amish communities of Lancaster, PA, and Holmes County, OH.   That show was called Amish Mafia, and from the first few minutes of the first episode, it was evident that there was nothing "real" about this "reality show."  To give the background on this show, Amish Mafia portrays the dealings of an enigmatic "Amish Godfather" they call "Lebanon Levi" Stolzfuss, and what he primarily does is collect something called "Amish Aid" from the local Amish communities - apparently, if he is not paid, there are consequences.  To aid in this enterprise, Levi employs several minions - one is a spineless goober named Alvin, who is Levi's right-hand man.  Another is a dumbass (pardon the term, but it fits) named John Schmucker, whose sister Esther also gets in on the action (they have a third schizophrenic brother named Freeman who was sent away to some Amish psych ward in North Dakota or something) - apparently their father was the original "boss" of Amish Aid, and they are trying to wrestle it back into their control.  A third is a big retard they call "Big Steve," who serves as the "muscle."  A forth is an alleged Mennonite hired gun named Jolin, who later is replaced by a young Brethren hothead named Caleb (who is about as Brethren as the Pope, but I am getting ahead here).  Also in the cast is Levi's rival, an Amish Rasputinesque nut named Merlin, who has a dwarf second-in-command named Wayne (Merlin and Wayne though later have a parting of ways), and they are headquartered in Holmes County, OH.  Later, Merlin is found in the company of a fat woman who resembles a Yorkshire pig by the name of Mary, who operates a "bundling school" in Ohio for engaged couples (this is where it gets really ridiculous, because Mary supposedly teaches the young betrothed clients about "soaking," meaning that the position of intercourse is allowed without actually having intercourse - this is pure BS).  Rounding out the regular cast is a Black man (called SchwartzAmisch on the show) named Alan Beiler, who was supposedly adopted by an Amish family and raised by them, but later turns into a criminal, ends up working for Levi, and is betrayed by him and ends up in jail.  In the recent season, Alan joins up with a rogue Mennonite leader named Doug, and convinces Caleb to ditch Levi and work for the Mennonites too, which Caleb does, and a sort of "turf war" over Lancaster that supposedly rivals the Crips and Bloods in LA ensues - the Mennonites think the Amish have too much control apparently, and want to wrestle it back, doing so with violence against the Amish.  At any rate, there you have it - the plot of the show, its main characters, and what is currently going on in the third season airing now.  As you can see, there are already some glaring problems with this whole enterprise from the start, but I want to get into specifics now.

The "disclaimor" statement that airs at the beginning of every Amish Mafia episode in poorly-spoken Plautedeutsche by the actor portraying "Lebanon Levi."

To begin, let me say that I am not exactly evaluating this as an outsider - my own family was Brethren by heritage, and I have roots in this whole culture, although not to the degree an actual Amishman or Mennonite from Lancaster would have.  That is why the majority of what this show portrays is an affront to all three groups.  I am not going to document every ridiculous thing that this show has portrayed as "true," but I want to deal with it generally.  I have watched every episode of it, and in doing so I can also see the entertainment value in it - the show is good fiction, and if you are into intrigue and suspense, the producers have that talent down well.  So, as long as you know better, watch it.  However, my concern is like that of many others - too many who watch stuff like this think that the Amish really live this way, and unfortunately in today's world, too many people who watch this show are too dumb to actually pick up a book and do a little research, and they are using Amish Mafia as eyewitness authority (which it is not) on Amish life.   There are many capable scholars out there who have rejected the authenticity of Amish Mafia, one being David Weaver-Zercher, a professor at Messiah College, who said, "“When I first saw the (show’s) trailer, I thought maybe it was a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit on reality television because it was so far-fetched,” as well as Donald Kraybill, a scholar whose works I am very familiar with as he has written some excellent reference books on the various Anabaptist groups in Pennsylvania, who said this: “When I’ve spoken about this program with Amish friends they’ve just kind of laughed and said they never heard of this kind of thing . . . It’s just sort of an example of the foolishness and stupidity and lies — misrepresentations I should say — that are promoted [about the Amish] in television . . . These production crews should be ashamed of trying to say that represents Amish life.” (Michael Mullins, "Experts Dispute Existence of 'Amish Mafia' as Reality Show Debuts."  Article originally published on 11 December 2012. http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/amish-mafia-dispute-reality/2012/12/11/id/467251/ {accessed 13 March 2015}).   Even a number of ex-Amish have come out against the show, saying most of what Amish Mafia depicts is so bogus that you would have to be totally uninformed about the Amish to accept it, and they are right.   However, what it amounts to is a couple of bottom-line facts, and let's briefly talk about those.

First, it is money.  Discovery Channel, if it were truly as educational as it claims to be, should pull the show off the air immediately being it does misrepresent a whole community, but they won't because they have ratings.  Ratings are the only things that big corporate broadcasters like Discovery understand, because they will push any agenda that sells their product.  And, the reason they are exploiting the Amish is simple - the nonviolent nature and convictions of the Amish religion make them a viable target, because the Amish don't fight back.  If they did this with Evangelicals, Catholics, or Jews, they would have so many lawsuits hitting them that probably Discovery would be out of business, and rightfully so.   And, unfortunately, as long as the Amish (who eschew using media for religious reasons) refuse to fight this, Discovery will continue to slander their community with many of the lies spewed by Amish Mafia and similar shows (yes, there are more of them!). And, the reason for that is Discovery is making a filthy profit off this sensationalist stuff.

Second, there is a propensity to slam and slander traditional religious groups in the US now, as we become an increasingly secularized culture.  Whenever religion is portrayed in a positive light - such as that mess called Preachers of LA, which chronicles the lives of several primarily super-wealthy African-American Pentecostal megachurch pastors and their playboy lifestyles - there is often a motive;  the reason many of the "pastors" in shows like Preachers of LA are viewed positively is because they represent a compromised Christianity and not the true faith of millions of faithful Evangelicals in the US.  Or, it is due to trying to sensationalize what many view as an eccentric religious practice - such as the serpent-handlers in the Appalachians - but it backfires because for some reason a real picture of those people comes through (take that series Snake Salvation - which was actually good - that was also on Discovery - once the serpent-handlers on there looked like normal people, the show was cancelled - go figure!) that endears them.  Bottom line is, Discovery and others are not about the intellectual enhancement of their viewers, but rather the spatial enhancement of their own bank accounts.  So, if slandering a certain religious community draws ratings, then it will be exploited to the limits, and what better target than a community of Christians who don't even watch TV and espouse a conviction of nonviolence?  

Again, for us who know Church history and have some familiarity with the Amish and Mennonite communities, Amish Mafia is an obvious exercise in fiction that can safely be watched.  But, unfortunately the audience Amish Mafia is reaching is made up of mostly ignorant people who know little about the Amish, and who for some reason feel that Discovery, due to its educational-documentary reputation, can do no wrong - therefore, it's gotta be true, right?  To most of those viewers - and I mean no disrespect when I say this - I would say that it would be better to set down those cellphones and other gadgets and actually pick up some books (surely you remember what a book is, right?  That bound paper thing with thousands of words on pages - very enriching activity if you take the challenge to read one!) that, if you don't have them at home, you can easily find at a little place called a library.   If more viewers would actually take the time to inform themselves about stuff like this, we might be in better shape as a country.  Also, it is worth mentioning that there are efforts to combat gross misinformation about the Amish as conveyed in stuff like Amish Mafia, and they are worth taking a look at.  For one, the Governor of Pennsylvania, Tom Corbett, has made a commendable stand against media propaganda against the Amish and others.  In a statement the Governor signed with 19 other state officials, it was stated that "By misrepresenting the Amish as a crime-ridden culture, the show gives, by association, the same impression of Lancaster County. It changes the image of the county from one of pastoral beauty, where people are devoted to faith, family and friends, to one of banal ugliness." (http://www.pennlive.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2014/08/governor_corbett_amish_mafia.html). The Governor has been accused by the producers - and they ironically wrote it into the story line of the season's episodes (go figure!) - of protecting Lancaster tourism, political leveraging (which makes no sense, as the Amish don't vote - again, go figure!) and other nonsense.  But, Gov. Corbett and the statement are correct, and I would stand by it myself.  Also, a new group called "Respect Amish" has been formed to combat the negative propaganda spewed against the Amish in shows like Amish Mafia, and this is the Joint Statement they issued, which was a very commendable effort:

"Many Lancaster County residents are concerned about the negative, inaccurate and potentially
damaging portrayal of Amish religion and culture in the Discovery Channel’s “Amish Mafia” TV series.
These shows vilify the Amish religious way of life, suggesting that a peaceful people devoted
to non-violence are vengeful, violent and criminal.
The Amish are horrified, shamed and embarrassed by the show’s depiction of their religion and
culture. While their religious beliefs forbid them from public objection to this portrayal, their
spokesmen have expressed deep appreciation and support for the efforts of others to foster respect
for their community.
At their core, this television series engages in religious bigotry. “Amish Mafia” is no more acceptable
than “Jewish Mafia,” “Catholic Mafia or “Evangelical Mafia.” The show is an affront to all
people of faith.
By misrepresenting the Amish as a crime-ridden culture, the show gives, by association, the same
impression of Lancaster city and county. It changes the image of the county from one of pastoral
beauty, where people are devoted to faith, family and friends, to one of banal ugliness.
Each of us has a responsibility to consider how we, and members of our faith community, would
feel if these shows attacked us as they are attacking the Amish. All religions observe some form
of the Golden Rule – that we treat others as we would want to be treated. To stand by silently
while these shows mistreat the Amish in our community would make us complicit in breaking that
rule."  (accessed from http://www.respectamish.org/ on March 13, 2015)

I agree with this statement, and the purpose of this article today is to show my support for the efforts of good people like those at Respect Amish as well as governmental leaders like Tom Corbett.  Discovery of course is raising a stink by writing slander against these good people into the story lines of the episodes of Amish Mafia (thanks in part to one of its producers, none other than the supposed SchwarzAmische himself, Alan Beiler - Beiler is no jailbird, never has been Amish, and is a professional actor who for some reason wants to pick on the Amish and pick the pockets of others doing it.  The real crime Beiler is guilty of is picking the pockets of many viewers watching this stuff!).  Discovery is threatened because its cash cow is on the verge of being turned into hamburger by informed citizens who are sick of media exploitation, and by all means it is time to send the Discovery "cash cow" to the slaughterhouse now!  Although I have watched Amish Mafia to stay informed of many gross errors it has in its portrayal of Amish life, it would not be something I would miss personally if it went away.  So, my prayers are with Gov. Corbett and the Respect Amish people for their success - Lord knows something must be done.  God bless until next time.