In watching the recent Presidential campaign of Republican front-runner and tycoon Donald Trump, one thing I have noted about him is that he is by nature a nasty and uncouth person. Whether it is personal attacks against his opponents, or chauvinistic remarks against women, etc., "the Trump" is someone who is really unpleasant. I don't really believe that a man like Donald Trump is the caliber of person whom we should have leading our country. However, I have noticed in the past eight or so years that the current President, Barack Obama, is equally bereft when it comes to social skills; the well-publicized "fist-bump" the Michelle Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II (totally breaching royal protocol!) as well as his rather cavalier attitude toward other world leaders (for instance, I treat my most vicious enemies better than Obama has treated Benjamin Netanyahu!) shows that this man, who is supposed to be representing himself as the leader of the largest free-market democracy on the planet, is lacking when it comes to even basic etiquette. However, unfortunately our high-profile leaders, movers, and shakers represent something that is a serious problem in our nation - a lack of class and good manners. And, it seems like the higher one moves up the social scale, the less manners one has. What has happened?
I am thinking back to my Philosophy of the Human Person course from a couple of years ago, and want to refer to the textbook my professor, Dr. John Crosby, both wrote and used in the course entitled The Selfhood of the Human Person (Washington, DC: Catholic University of America Press, 1996). Dr. Crosby gives four premises in his book, beginning on page 14, regarding what personhood is and how we should perceive the human person from a Judeo-Christian moral perspective, and this is what they are:
1. Persons are ends in themselves and not mere instrumental means
2. Persons are wholes of their own and never mere parts
3. Persons are incommunicably their own and never mere specimens
4. The most important one - each person belongs to himself and not another (persona est sui iuris)
I note these philosophical tenets of personhood to say that good manners generate from a healthy personalist philosophical perspective, but they also stem more importantly from a Biblical (read Christian) worldview that sees man as created in God's image and not coming from a single cell that evolves into a blob of gel and then into an ape that smells - in other words, social Darwinism, and its tenet hallmark of "survival of the fittest," is a worldview in direct opposition to the dignity of the human person. Yet, so many secularists are so focused on themselves that often the dignity of their fellow man takes a back seat to their own pursuit of wealth and status, and many of society's issues today go back to simply a matter of good manners! Let me elaborate more.
When many of us were young, we were taught a lot of basic things called manners (at least my generation was - today I doubt if many kids are honestly!). For instance, if someone gave you something you said "thank you," and if you asked someone to pass the salt at the dinner table, you said "please." In public, you always addressed those who were your elders as "Mister" if they were men, and "Miss" if they were women - that is a habit I still use today when addressing matronly elderly ladies, as I will often call them "Miss Margaret" or occasionally by last name, such as "Miss Grant." If you are taught these things as a child, they become second nature later in life too. Another thing - when accompanying a lady, be it a wife, mother, or daughter, it was always customary to open the door of a building you were entering for them first. And, one more - when using the facilities, it is a good practice to wash one's hands. I want to spend a little time on this last one now, as it is a big pet-peeve in at least one context.
After working for almost 20 years in the corporate world, I notice things. One of the most disturbing observations I have made is that it seems that the higher up the corporate ladder one is, the less etiquette and manners they possess. On many occasions in offices when I was using the bathroom for instance and an executive or upper-level manager was present in the facilities at the same time, I noted that they do their thing and then walk out without washing their hands. I mean, seriously - these guys are meeting clients, having business lunches and shaking hands and kissing butt constantly with filthy, germ-ridden hands! I have now made it a personal point - maybe to my detriment! - to not offer a handshake to someone I know is upper management, because for some crazy reason I just don't feel like contracting a nasty virus because such a person is too lazy and stuck on themselves to wash up after taking a leak! That is why, if by some fluke Trump is elected President, I almost expect to see an outbreak of influenza in Washington because I doubt if Trump washes his hands either, being most of his upper-management fan club in the corporate world don't seem to take that courtesy seriously. That could also explain why there have been so many outbreaks of flu and cold in recent years too, who's to say?
A further thought on this entails something I came across in researching my own family tree. Upon finding out that I am a blood descendant of nobility, I began reading up on some of my ancestors and it turns out that many of them lived by a type of chivalric code called Nobless oblige. Nobless oblige is a French term that literally means "nobility obliges," and what it entails is one basic premise - whoever claims to be noble must conduct himself nobly. It is good manners taken to a whole new dimension, as it demands a sort of accountability of one's office he or she holds. To put it in vernacular, in essence it means that with privilege comes responsibility and that duties validate rights. Although on the outset it may seem that nobless oblige is in opposition to personalist philosophy, in reality it is actually an affirmation of the dignity of the human person in that it admonishes that a true leader of one's people serves the best interests of his people rather than asking his people to serve him. In other words, true nobless oblige has no place for uncouth behavior against even the most "common" of persons, nor does it allow for self-serving interests at the expense of other human persons. If more of our corporate executives and politicians lived by this, it would practically transform society overnight. It is really tragic these days that the most humble and poor among us often have better manners and dignity than the most affluent, and although that is good in a sense, at the same time it is the affluent who have the influence, and that influence is exerted often on a younger generation that seeks to emulate the ways of the affluent in some hope that by acting so, they can also rise to that level. However, although that could happen, it comes with a huge price in that often by attaining wealth and position, one feels the need to sacrifice basic humanity and it manifests itself in some sinister ways. Let me now give an example from my own family.
I have a relative who is a corporate executive. Although this relative worked hard (which is admirable) in the process they lost a lot of their basic humanity. On one occasion, this relative for instance lost a cherished pet, and at around the same time one of their siblings was diagnosed with a debilitating illness. In this case, the sibling is less affluent, struggles financially, and even the most minor of health problems could jeopardize the sibling's home. While the more affluent sibling went on social media blubbering over the loss of their beloved pet, the same affluent sibling didn't even acknowledge their kin's illness - the latter could die actually, but it seems as if their own brother or sister doesn't give a rat's behind, yet will bawl and mourn a dead parakeet. In history, only one other well-known figure displayed similar behavior. This man was a world leader and he loved dogs - so much that he even granted them rank in his military. This same man was also disturbed over the fact that lobsters were not cooked humanely, and issued a set of strict laws about how to properly cook a crab without it suffering so much. Yet, this same person was responsible for millions of deaths because he viewed certain races and people with infirmities as "weak" and "useless," and he exterminated them with a cold assembly-line efficiency while laboring under the delusion that he was building an ideal society. That leader was Adolph Hitler in case you haven't figured it out, and although the animal-rights radicals would have loved him, no one in the 20th century embodies such pure evil and demonic destruction as Hitler due to the human carnage he is responsible for. Many politicians, academics, and corporate executives in "Fortune 500" companies have much the same mentality today, and would sell out their own mothers for a buck or a title. Therefore, it could be concluded that manners are no longer important to such people because they have a power-addiction which prompts them to justify their actions and eliminate the need for basic manners and a sense of human dignity. And, that is why we see so much happening in our society today, where no one even salutes the American flag during the national anthem because they have no sense of decency in many cases.
In the past generations, there used to be a news column you could read in the daily paper called "Miss Manners," and the lady who wrote those (I can't recall her name at present) taught the importance of using manners in interpersonal situations. One of her premises for this was that good manners were not to make you feel important, but rather to make the other person feel important. Perhaps we need to revisit some of those values today, as it certainly could not hurt us! And, to show I am practicing my preaching, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this, and please remember to wash your hands when you use the bathroom, open the door for a lady, and salute the American flag when "The Star-Spangled Banner" is played or sung. So long until next time!
