This Week's Thoughts

 As I write this, it is getting chillier outside as it is mid-November.  Also, I got my first paycheck from my new position, so that is exciting.  The reason I am writing this week is for a couple of things, so I will get started.

First, as many of you reading this know, I reached my 55th birthday this past Saturday.  Barbara came up for the weekend and it was a simple yet enjoyable time.  It is based on her visit that I want to chat a bit today.

Barbara and I have been divorced for just over 3 years now, but we are also still very close as friends.  I did not go into the details of why we divorced, because frankly those details are no one's business, but it was a very civil divorce and we ended up still being close friends despite that happening.  Barbara and I have known each other now for almost 35 years, and we started out as close friends years ago when we were both still in college.  So, we have history together, and it is actually a very good history.  Barbara is still my best friend, and she is like a sister to me, and we both feel the same way about that.  We are actually closer as friends than we ever were when we were married, but it is a good Christian witness to others.  Not every divorced couple has to be mortal enemies, and the fact that happens so much is tragic.  Neither Barbara nor I hold anything against each other for what happened in our marriage, and to be honest we were both victims of some external forces that exacerbated the whole issue.  Because of that, we can freely talk about things, and it is actually nice to be close to her still.  There is a special dimension to our relationship I wanted to share now, as it is integral as to why we still are close.

When Barbara visited this past weekend, it was actually a bright spot in an otherwise chaotic week.  Having to get used to a new job, and a lot of lifestyle adjustments since the beginning of October, it felt good to be able to have a comfortable and familiar experience with an old friend.  Honestly, Barbara and I both missed each other - she now lives almost 40 miles away in Rockville, and I am in downtown Baltimore, and it is an adjustment for both of us after we have lived under the same roof for over 30 years.  And, we talked about that and both feel this way.  Although we both have roommates at our new homes, neither of us feels complete - after all, our entire way of life was uprooted and it has been a challenge to meet for both of us.  However, there are times we can visit and just have a bit of diversion, and that is nice - we both need that.  Nothing really special - for this past weekend, Barbara got me a cake and a pizza for my birthday, and that was nice just for its simplicity.  We also notice when we have to leave how much we miss each other - something as simple as the old cat food and water dishes from our old place triggers feelings of loss.  We both feel that too.  As we eased back into our weekly routines on Monday, it felt like a part of us was lost.  I don't know about how other couples who have experienced a divorce feel about this, but there will always be a connection with a former spouse even after the divorce.  What made it easier for Barbara and me is the fact we are still good friends, and that made it possible to be close.  Will we ever reconcile and enter into a marriage again?  With every passing day the possibility of that is less, but if God opened that door I would be fine with it.  Barbara and I are both seeing other people at this point - we have been divorced for almost 5 years and annulled almost 3, so we are free to pursue other relationships now and are doing so.  But, we still will always have that connection, and to be honest, it is a wonderful thing - Barbara is a wonderful person, and she has been a blessing to know, both as a former spouse and as an eternal friend.  I just felt led to share that. 

The other thing was a bit of unsettling development at the Jesuit high school I am teaching at.  As many know, the Jesuits are somewhat controversial in regard to their inherent liberalism as well as some flirtations with heresies over the past couple of hundred years.  There are two things about the Jesuits that are positive though.  For one, they are stellar educators, and that vocation is not lost. If I am going to teach, a Jesuit institution is a good place to break in a career.  Secondly, not every Jesuit is evil either - for instance, Fr. Mitch Pacwa is perhaps one of the most amazing individuals, and his speaking and writing are phenomenal.  Also, over the years I have gleaned much wisdom from some Jesuit writers such as Fr. Norris Clarke as well as Henri de Lubac and Romano Guardini, whom I believe were both Jesuits.  However, unfortunately for the most part Jesuits have been troublemakers for the Church, particularly in their embrace of "liberation theology."  The campus minister at the high school for instance is a fan of the heretical and racist theologian James Cone - I read James Cone's book in my Master's program, and in all honesty, there is nothing Christian about it.  Cone first of all politicizes the Crucifixion, comparing it to the "lynching tree," and this is not orthodox theology.  Jesus chose that way to redeem fallen humanity, whereas many innocent Black victims of the atrocity of lynching had no choice.  Also, Jesus's redemption of fallen humanity is not to be looked at as a social justice action - the purpose of the action was to draw people to Himself, and to reconcile them to God by overcoming sin and death.  It is especially true that theologians of all people should know better than to try to politicize the Cross.  And that leads to all this talk about justice.

While the pursuit of justice is noble and should be inherent to our nature, it cannot be divorced from the salvation of souls.  Our first mission as Catholics is the salvation of souls, and justice will be a fruit of that conversion once it happens.  The grace of God is transformative, and it drives one who is drawn closer to God to seek betterment of themselves.  So, as the soul is saved, the surrounding society then will be transformed.  But, we have to keep the focus right - just focusing on justice in a political sense without the saving Body and Blood of Christ leads to an empty dead work, and it is futile as it will fail.  Man tends to turn to ungodly means to achieve these objectives, and this is what happened with many Jesuits.  And, in this, I include the campus minister here - the guy is a nice guy, and I believe he is sincere in his passion, but he is also misguided and that tends to be a problem.  This is especially true when teaching the kids at a school like this - these kids need to encounter the real Jesus, and the teacher in a class may be the only way the Holy Spirit works to open that for them.  Therefore, again, we must get the priorities in order.  I was admonished by Fr. Grassi, my parish priest, to be a beacon of truth in this place, and that is what I will be.  While the very liberal sentiments of the campus minister in particular are disturbing, I cannot let that detract from the vocation God gave me.  And so I won't.

Any rate, that was just a couple of thoughts I wanted to share today, and hope they will inspire and bless others.  Thank you, and will see you next time!