Summer Month Observations

 I am entering my third week of summer break from my teaching position this week, and in all honesty it is a bit jumbled.  I feel both exhausted and unsettled, as we have faced some challenges (extreme unseasonable heat for a few days, porch pirates, and a landlord who, although a nice guy, has a micromanaging fetish).  If you have ever had that incomplete feeling, it is something that is a bit hard to process.  Nothing is necessarily bad, but you still feel a bit out of place.  I recall when we still lived in Hagerstown I never had that feeling because there was more purpose then to my life than there seems to be now.  I know I am in a time of rebuilding, but that can be sometimes a bit to digest as you essentially have to recalibrate almost everything in your own life as you try to regain your footing.  Then, being in inner-city Baltimore is almost like being in a foreign country.  I want to linger on this for a bit, because it is at the core of some of the other things I am feeling right now.

I have always liked Maryland as a state - sure, it is more expensive than perhaps my home state of West Virginia, but it also has its charms too.  Although Baltimore is the biggest city in Maryland though, there is something different about it that does not really reflect the rest of the state - as I repeat, it is like a foreign country.  I don't really feel like I fit here in all honesty, and ironically, I lived here when I was a little kid and never felt that then.  Perhaps it is because I live in a different part of the city - I am more acclimated to the west side of town where many of my own family lived for years, and only now am I just getting acclimated to the east side of the city.  It's not that the city is completely bad, not at all - some parts of this area such as Charles Village and Fells Point are quite nice.  But, I don't live in those areas, but in Harwood - Harwood is in the north-central part of town, off Greenmount Avenue, and it is almost completely demographically Black in population.  If you go two blocks south of our house, all you see is urban blight - garbage all over the streets, boarded-up rowhouses and businesses, and frequent displays of insanity from the local drug addicts as well as being accosted for "handouts" if you walk in those areas.  It is not a safe area either, as the potential to be robbed, murdered, or assaulted is eerily hanging over the area like a dark demonic cloud.  While this particular street we live on has been somewhat renovated, there are still problems - porch pirates are like a pandemic, and dealing with rude entitled Black people who think you owe them something just because your skin is lighter than theirs can be stressful.  Fortunately, I have the income and soon will have the credit to kiss this part of town goodbye, and at this point I am working on doing just that now.  The ultimate goal is to buy a house, but in all honesty I can even rent a more upgraded place in a better neighborhood until I am able to do that. Barbara is on-board with this too, as she is sort of feeling the same way - thankfully we still have each other as a divorced couple but also still close friends.  I want to talk about that a minute too because some misconceptions about divorce need to be cleared up.

Divorce is obviously a tragic thing, and I don't believe it is anything that anyone aspires to.  Even a generally mild and amicable parting in a divorce settlement can trigger a tailspin in life, and that has been the case for both Barbara and myself.  The mythos of divorce in the US is that it is considered to be liberating and a right to life, and the expectation is that a divorced couple has to hate each other.  Especially if a couple is Christian and may endure a divorce, it doesn't mean that they cancel each other out, as it is still possible to be friends with your ex.  There are instances, as a matter of fact, where exes often end up closer as friends than they ever were as a married couple, and if the parties involved are Christians, then it serves as a witness and not some freaky abnormality.  In Barbara's and my case, we ended up being still very close, and to be honest, she is like a sister to me and I love her as if she was blood relation.  Barbara and I have been there for each other, we have helped each other out, and even at times when we have been attacked for it, we know better thankfully and will always have each other's backs.  I believe that Barbara and I will always be close until one of us eventually passes on, and to be honest that is not bad at all.  This now leads to a couple of things I want to say about that.

Marriage is a sacred covenant, and a sacramental act.  Ideally it should be eternal, and the love of the couple should grow as the years advance.  But, we also live in a fallen world too, and things happen.  Barbara and I divorced not because we hate each other, but because some very serious underlying issues tainted our marriage for years - we had issues with fully trusting one another and some other things, and often external forces manipulated that and intensified it to the point we began to understand a marriage couldn't work that way.  In all honesty, we don't blame each other for that, and we now speak openly of the fact that what happened to us was neither of our faults, as we in a sense were both victims of the same thing.  A lot of things - from meddling in-laws to manipulative cult-like churches - messed us up almost from day one, and we both suffered as a result.  Because the trust was essentially destroyed, so was our intimacy.  A strong factor in a good marriage is that an intimacy should be there which bonds both partners in such a strong way that they almost breathe and think as one.  That intimacy is foundated on a pure love, a love in which each person gives their whole hearts to the other without question, and in giving one's heart, you also give your complete and total trust.  This is what it speaks of when the Bible says the two shall become "one flesh."  The ultimate fruit of that is children - a child is the true fruit of deep love, and the child embodies the "one flesh" of their parents because they embody the best of both. This is why the Bible is also somewhat strict on sex as well - sex is not something that should be a recreational sport, but it is instead a beautiful sharing of each other in a physical way that creates a spiritual bond.  That is why a lot of times this within marriage is not just called sex, but instead it is called making love - you are celebrating a beautiful love that brings you and your spouse to a new level, a oneness and bond that will be so strong that the couple cannot even think of life without each other.  While Barbara and I had a level of love in our relationship - we were always there for each other, and still are now - that is what we missed, that beautiful, united love that creates a soul bond.  It is something I know we both desired but could never let ourselves totally commit to.  But, I know what that love feels like, and it is perhaps the most beautiful thing a human being can experience.  And, that is why often it is exploited just for the feeling it creates - sure, sexual indulgence feels good, is enjoyable, and it does give some emotional crutch, but without the proper context for it, it becomes either an afterthought or a bad addiction - that is where pornography comes in.  Pornography is Satan's mockery of true intimacy, and so is its related vice of prostitution.  Those things tend to reduce sex to just a fleshly indulgence, and in the process it loses its special place in human relationships.   Likewise, the wrong types of relationships - this includes homosexuality - further reduce the sanctity of the marriage bed because it throws out the natural order of things and turns a slogan like "love is love" into an epicurean political statement that is based on unnatural intimacy.  That is one reason too I believe the LGBT+ movement has embraced the sin "pride" as its slogan - it is about personal indulgence and has nothing to do with true love.  No matter how committed a homosexual relationship looks - and they do try to push that in the public sector - it still is lacking elements that make it a true expression of love.  Now, it is not up to me to dictate behavior - people are always going to do things we either know are blatantly wrong or fundamentally disagree with based on principle, so nothing is new there - but it is a responsibility to share the truth even when it may appear controversial.  There are signs on some liberal churches in town here that say "all are welcome" with rainbow flags framing that phrase, but there are two things about this I want to say.  Of course, anyone is always welcome in God's house - even the most vile of sinner has a place there.   Secondly, unlike the sharia Muslim crowd or the extreme Fundamentalists among our own Christian faith, no decent Christian is going to advocate mass execution of gays or anyone else who engages in problematic behavior.  The best policy for dealing with people like that is to treat them like human beings, subject to the dignity any human being is entitled by divine law to have, but at the same time disagree with their choices.  If bad choices were cause to execute someone, the population of the earth would be drastically reduced because we all would be guilty in some way for something.  Rather, by showing a gay person or someone else who is engaging in a lifestyle choice that is not right a basic kindness, you may impact them.  Many a drunk, drug addict, criminal, and gay person has found new life in Christ because a follower of Christ showed love and grace to them, and often those people are so transformed that they are even unrecognizable afterward.  Grace converts inwardly, and transforms outwardly - that is how it works.  But, treating someone with basic human dignity does not mean we affirm what they do - we should not compromise our faith for anything, despite how popular it might be in wider society.  What it does mean however is that we approach them in the right spirit and attitude - Scripture says as wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove - and just be the witness to them.  That doesn't entail preaching at them, beating them over the head with the Bible, or constantly condemning them - no; it means we are honest with them about what we believe, but we also let them know that we value them as a fellow human being.  Until we learn this lesson as a Church, we will miss Christ's mandate by infinity. 

This balanced approach - being firm in our convictions while at the same time showing Christ's love to others - will ultimately be what converts the sinner.  There is no manual on how to do it either, and I cannot even say my approach will be something that works with you.  Some Christians can do the "in-your-face" type of testimony, and it will reach some people depending on the person.  Others can campaign for traditional values, yet also be there for everyone if a crisis happens - starvation and emergencies don't worry about if a person is gay or not, but rather if their survival is maintained despite the circumstance.  So, yes, give the gay person you see out there sweltering in heat a bottle of cold water to refresh them, and also never be afraid to do something even less grand such as giving directions to a gas station if they need it.  That is just basic human decency, and it respects all mankind as being created in God's image without affirming whatever bad habits or behavior they may engage in. I think it was the book of Ezekiel that says the rain falls on both the wicked and the righteous, and in Acts 10 the lesson is that God is not a respecter of persons.  To God we are all humans created in his image, and although his heart breaks at some things members of our race do, he still loves us regardless.  And, that is not universalism either - hell is real, and God doesn't send us there - we choose that fate.  Which is the last thing I want to talk about now.

There are some very narrow-minded types who like to, in the name of God, condemn anyone and everyone who disagrees with them.  One of those is a lady I mentioned some time back who was related to a former pastor of mine.  Will a person like that - who obviously displays a sin of pride - end up in heaven?  Let me suggest something very radical with that.  The Bible describes hell as an eternal lake of fire, and many saints and visionaries over the centuries have had visions of this place.  One thing that occurs to me is this - hell may or may not be a literal lake of fire, but it is a real place, and I have a radical idea of what hell will be like for some who cling to a prideful self-righteousness.  The prideful self-righteous Fundamentalist (or even traditionalist Catholic, as those exist too!) thinks they are on their way to heavenly bliss because they attack anything and anyone that even disagrees with them on what would be otherwise an inconsequential point. By becoming self-appointed "arbiters of salvation," such individuals isolate themselves.  Due to the lack of true conversion and grace in many people like this, they may be in for a delusion.  I believe hell for such a person will be something of their own creation that God allows once they get there - it may look heavenly, but it will be a lonely place for them.  Such an individual will think they are in heaven, but they will soon learn this is not the heaven God envisioned - it is a prison they constructed themselves, and God has given them what they want, complete isolation, even from him.  The fire will be internal and eternal for such people - they will be lonely, and their regrets, their cruelty, and their prideful self-righteousness will torment them through eternity even while they sit in what looks like a beautiful place.  That is an ultimate hell for the self-righteous who cloak hatred in legalism and religious jargon, and they attack others for maybe holding a belief slightly different from theirs - nothing fundamental to faith or anything, but just a slight detail such as maybe the earth was 10,000 years old rather than a literal 6,000.  Do those numbers radically alter faith?  Not at all, as those who would say one or the other would nonetheless agree in the fundamental truth - God created the heavens and earth.  But, to a self-righteous legalistic fundamentalist, it becomes a pivotal issue, so much so that they cut themselves off from other Christians and they become prideful in that they think they are the only truth on something that is frankly inconsequential in the greater scheme of things - Christ Himself describes such people as those who "strain gnats and swallow camels."  Therefore, the "heaven" they create in their minds will become their personal hell.  There is more I should say about this, but we will save it for later.

Thank you for allowing me to share this week, and I look forward to visiting with you again soon.