The Resolute Churchman

Barry Weller (1939-2015)

In 2011 we moved back to Lakeland after 13 years of living in Pinellas County, and when we did so we began to attend a former parish of ours, St. Mary Anglican Catholic Church in Winter Haven.  Although there were many familiar faces, a lot had changed also over those many years.  Among the changes was the parish's affilliation - when we attended there in the late 1990's, it was under an "Continuing Anglican" jurisdiction called the Anglican Province of Christ the King, and at that time it also had quite a number of more members.  However, due to some circumstances in the early 2000's with a rogue "priest" named Baker, membership had declined but the parish remained strong throughout.  At around the same time, in Orlando there was an ACC parish, St. Matthew's, and a few years later it also closed.  Several of its people found their way to Winter Haven, and among them were Barry and Karen Weller.

Barry was a Godsend to St. Mary's in that he brought it back into the ACC (which it was part of many years previous) and he also was able to bring several of St. Matthew's parishioners with him, even the vicar, Fr. Guy DiMartino (who is still essentially our Cure of Souls even today).  Also, he brought a breath of fresh air that the parish definitely needed after the carnage wrecked by a former vicar, and in time St. Mary's recovered and became a small but vibrant parish.  Barry, who served on the Vestry, also provided good lay leadership as well.  

Barry was a native of New Jersey, and after many years of working as a professional salesman, he retired initially to the Orlando area with his dear wife Karen.   He actively became involved in the local parish (St. Matthew's) and in December of 2000 he was licensed as a Lay Minister, which he faithfully served for many years both at St. Matthew's and later at St. Mary's.  After suffering a cardiac episode in 2005, Barry also felt led to begin a nursing home outreach at the Brandywine Convalescent Center in Winter Haven, a ministry he faithfully did up until early 2014.    That essentially gives a little history of Barry's life in a nutshell.

I first met Barry and Karen in September 2011, the Sunday after we moved back to Lakeland, and over the years Barb and I became very close with him and Karen.   Barry eventually was instrumental for my own licensing as a Lay Minister in January 2012, and I wanted to reflect on that a little too, as it gives some insight into how Barry was. 

Barry was what I would describe as a Churchman par excellance.  He loved his Church, and he served her faithfully.  He was also a committed traditionalist, and demanded perfection in liturgical matters not only of himself but of his fellow layreaders as well.  As a matter of fact, he could be a little intimidating at first impression, and at one point early in my service at St. Mary's my thoughts of him were "Lordy, this guy is strict!"  But, far from being a bad quality, that "strictness" showed how seriously Barry took liturgical protocol and how he loved and served the Church to the best of his ability, and he expected the same of others too.   If I were to describe him now, I would call him the "R Lee Ermey of Lay Ministers!"   However, despite the perfectionist exterior, Barry was actually a man with a big heart and a great love of life - he had a great sense of humor, was always smiling, and he would help a fellow parishioner in need without question or batting an eye.   I also used to be amused by him at the altar when he served, for as the Offeratory was playing he would often grin and sway along with it too.  And, he loved watching Duck Dynasty I recall too - being we were both fans of the show, we would often catch each other up on what was happening if one of us missed an episode for any reason.  

When we first started attending St. Mary's again after moving back to Lakeland, Barry was as "fit as a fiddle" and had a pretty active life at the retirement community where he and Karen lived.  As a side business, he sold Avon, and that gave him a lot of exercise and kept him agile.  However, something happened in early 2014 that would change that almost overnight.  One Sunday, Barry was not able to be at Mass due to what we all thought (including Barry himself) was a flu bug or something.  However, it soon became apparent that something more serious was going on, as his health began to rapidly decline.  Later, he was found to have some kidney trouble, and had to undergo dialysis treatments.  And, to complicate things further, he also was diagnosed with a liver disorder.  In recent months, on the rare occasions when Karen was able to get him to Mass, he didn't even look like himself - he still had the smile, had a strong faith, but the life that was once in him was fading fast.  Nonetheless, Barry was a fighter, and he had the gumption to fight for a long time for his health.  However, on October 24, 2015, his time came, and Barry passed onto his eternal reward.  His passing was not a shock, as we had anticipated it, but at the same time it was a tremendous loss to so many.  This past Friday (November 13th) we had the funeral for him at the Church, and Barry is now at rest.   Through all of this, I also have to say that his wife Karen, a sweet lady anyway, was a real trooper - the strength she displayed and the dedication she had for her ailing husband is something that many should envy, as it is a rare quality as well as possibly divinely-endowed strength.   

Although Barry is now at rest and enjoying the fruits of his eternal reward, he left a great legacy for both his family and those of us who were his fellow parishioners.  Even at the diocesan level, Barry was appreciated by so many of our clergy and laity, and he deserves a place of honor in any record of the heritage of our church, be it on the local or diocesan level.  Rest eternal, Barry, and remember that many of us love you and look forward to seeing you one day on the other side of eternity.