Life Challenges

 Yesterday at Mass, our priest Fr. Grassi was recounting the story of St. Nicholas Owen in his homily.  For those not familiar with him, he was a martyr during the English Reformation due to the Puritanism of Cromwell persecuting Catholics, and what he was most noted for was constructing secret hideaways for persecuted priests called "priest holes."  A priest hole was a secret room that was hidden from view by anything such as a board that served as a door, and its purpose was to keep priests safe until the danger of being arrested by Cromwell's goons passed.  Owen constructed many of these, and some have still not been found and each was different - in many cases, a secret chamber was constructed even within a secret chamber for an extra measure of security.  What made this guy more interesting was the fact he was of short stature - it was quite possible, like St. John the Dwarf many centuries earlier, that St. Nicholas Owen had achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism.  Like many of these saint homilies that both Fr. Grassi and our deacon, Dave Galvin, present on different Sundays of the year, it aroused curiosity for me and I decided to research it more which is how I found out about this information.  Had St. Nicholas Owen lived during World War II, I would guess he could have even saved many Jews who were targeted by the demonic hordes of SS in the Third Reich - the attic hideaways that are documented in Ann Frank's diary as well as Corrie ten Boom's The Hiding Place bear remarkable similarity to St. Nicholas's priest holes as a matter of fact.  

One of St. Nicholas Owen's priest holes at Harvington Hall Mansion in Britain, with a board as an entrance.

Fr. Grassi's discussion of St. Nicholas Owen got me thinking about something.  With the increasing hostility toward people of faith - Catholics, Protestants, and Jews are all targets of secularism - perhaps we need to face the realization that for our own safety we may need to take precautions against our own government.  With Merrick Garland issuing a crazy order from Biden's DOJ to spy on Catholic Masses as well as targeting concerned parents last year as "terrorists" for speaking against some implemented things at school boards, we are in a state of war against the secular Left which is trying to impose itself as a new religion essentially - a weird religion that denies the reality of many things, and it has the ironic name of "wokeness."  Although the vast majority of the American public is against this garbage, it is still being imposed upon us by elitists who think we are all idiots or something.  In reality, they are the true fools, and one day they will find that out if they don't have a conversion of heart before it is too late.  Will we get to the point of having to utilize an upgraded version of St. Nicholas Owen's priest holes, not only for our clergy but even for ourselves?   That remains to be seen, but one thing for sure is the fact that we live in a fallen world and challenges will come at us.  As I write this, I have a very serious issue I am facing that I am trusting for God to work out, and while deep within myself I am somehow confident everything will work out, the fact that such a frightening obstacle looms over me is still at times a bit frustrating to deal with.  It just means we have to trust God more, and the example of St. Nicholas is a good reminder of that. 

A few years ago, I had some very interesting dreams involving tornadoes.  In one, I was standing in my doorway, and in the sky overhead a vortex formed directly above me.  However, despite how frightening it was, I was never even touched by it.  In a similar dream, I was in a vehicle on a road with my mother and my late great-grandmother when directly ahead of us this huge funnel cloud - I mean enormous too, as the thing had to be 20 miles in diameter - was spinning and spinning.  As scary as it was, it never touched us.  To give a more apt description of what it looked like, you could not see anything around this thing for miles, and it was black and very evil-looking.  Unlike many funnel clouds though, this one was different as it emanated from the ground instead of from the atmosphere, and there was just something really sinister about it.  Yet. we managed to get home and safely inside the house, and eventually this thing came at our house, but instead of hitting the house, it just brushed past a living room window and never touched us.  Whenever you see a whirlwind in a dream, it does mean facing something in life that is potentially scary, but if the tornado never touches you, it means you are being protected.  That was the case in both of those dreams.  In yet another dream, I recall being in this house - on the outside was a courtyard, and the front yard ended at a beachfront which was right on the sea.  To my right of the front door - which had beautiful French doors on it and a panoramic view - there was a canal that passed under the yard itself possibly by way of an installed culvert.  All of a sudden, a large tidal wave came, and the canal also flooded over, but it never reached where I was at the front door.  I saw this dream when I had it as being very similar to the tornado dreams - the storms of life can be overwhelming and intense, but despite that I was protected from their destruction.   I am a strong believer of symbols in dreams, and that God speaks through them in various ways.  Not every dream is a message from God - many are just the mind's way of coping with stress, and I notice I have more vivid dreams when I am facing difficulties and feel that is the reason.  But, when a detail stands out like that, there is a message in there somewhere.  Recalling these dreams as well as Fr. Grassi's homily about St. Nicholas Owen yesterday got me to thinking about a lot.  Life challenges - we all have them, had them, or will face them inevitably at some point - are reminders as to why we rely on God for our help, and all of this is why I am reflecting on this today. 

If you are a Christian, two things can be true at once when you face challenges in life.  First, despite what may be happening, there are times when deep inside you a reassurance is there that everything is somehow going to work out.  So, if one has that assurance, the idea is to carry on with your regular duties and responsibilities and not let the circumstances sidetrack or derail you.  Second, we as human beings are driven in our daily existence by a concept called time - time entails deadlines, and as a result if you are anything like me you need something concrete to work with so you can plan and execute what needs to be done.  The frustrating aspect of this is that often you are not driven by your own timetables - bills are due on a certain date, you need to have that work or school project done by a deadline, etc.  Others dictate that timing, in other words.  So, when your rent or mortgage comes due, and you don't have the money to cover it, and thus you begin to feel the pressure, it causes one to do many things.  If you are a Christian, it adds an aspect to your prayer regimen in that you start to get frustrated with God.  This is where the "fleece" comes in for instance - this is an idea drawn from Gideon's story in Judges 6-8 when he wants to be sure he is doing the right thing so he sticks a lamb fleece out overnight to determine what direction he needs to take.  While the "fleece" idea is a more recent faith act inspired by Pentecostalism, there is a sort of validity to it.  The idea of a "fleece" is not to test or manipulate God (or at least it isn't supposed to be) but rather to seek guidance and direction for decisions.  This is something I admit I do a lot, and even as I write this, I have three of those I am waiting for answers on. That is one mechanism we use to get God's attention.  Another is bargaining - you can get to a point of frustration where you feel like your prayers are not being effective, so you essentially threaten to stop praying unless God acts in some way.  Admittedly, I have done this many times, and it is only natural to feel that frustration because we are only human, and we have limits.  Is it the right thing to do?  I don't know - God has not struck me dead with lightning or anything for doing it over the years, so he may understand our feelings better than we give him credit for.  Yet another coping mechanism is just blowing up and getting upset with God - yes, I am guilty of this.  I need to be honest and say that I am not proud of the shouting matches I direct at God on occasions (thankfully they are rare though), and I have said and done things in anger with God that frankly I have to apologize later for once I cool off.  Again, I think God understands us better than we do ourselves, and if he had a physical presence when we get like that, I can also imagine him saying "OK, do you feel better now?" in a semi-sarcastic tone like a parent when a cranky child throws a fit. Again, we are human beings, not divinity in ourselves, and thus we will have moments of weakness and there is only so much we can take before we break, and thankfully God knows that too.  While many of us are ashamed of what we may do later when we lose our temper with God, the old adage "God is a big boy and can take what we dish out" rings true. The ultimate human temper tantrum over history against God resulted in the Passion of Christ, but he resurrected a couple of days later and even forgave many who treated him that way.  God is holy and sovereign, it is true, but he also created us, so he knows us better than we know ourselves.  Therefore, if in a moment of weakness, you throw a fit at God for not responding when you need him too, there are two things to remember.  First, often that is between you and him - many of us do that in the privacy of our personal prayers and no one else will know about it, nor do they need to.  Secondly, like any relationship, once you cool off you will understand you had a weak moment, and if you are like me, you profusely apologize to God for getting angry with him, and he forgives us.  Then, we get up, dust the dirt off our knees, and move forward.  One thing I have also noticed as well is that once it gets to the point where one snaps, God is on the threshold of giving the breakthrough we seek, and in a way that may be a good thing then.  Anyway, hope that is encouraging to someone - you are not alone if that is you. 

Thank you for allowing me to share today again, and remember, God understands us better than we do ourselves, even with our weaknesses (which we all have).