Paradigm Shift Change

 As I am writing this, I am exhausted, a bit uncertain, and there is a lot going on now.  I am sitting in the Town's Inn in Harpers Ferry, WV, and was just having a pleasant chat with the owner, Karan Thompson.  In case this is not familiar, it was featured on an episode of Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Hell a few years back, and being I live so close by, I had wanted to visit here.  There are things I learned I won't share to protect Karan, but sufficive to say, not everything on the show was as it seems.  This little inn is quaint, and Karan is the sweetest person.  Due to the fact I missed a MARC train to an important interview today (which by the grace of God was rescheduled!) I am going to be here for the duration of the day.  It is also good to have my first cup of coffee in several days, and I will get into that story in a minute.  Any rate, let's move forward with the discussion.

Last week, we lost our home and practically everything in it - luckily I salvaged the large percentage of my important items, and they are now secured safely in a storage facility outside Martinsburg.  As for me, I am staying at a motel in Ranson (just outside Charles Town) for a temporary time, and it is an adjustment.  While it has been an adjustment losing my whole library and my music collection (second time for the latter), I understand why now.  Sometimes our foundation has to be refurbished, and in doing so the structure may need to be torn down and rebuilt.  But, unlike Joe Biden's slogan and its implications, this is the real "Build Back Better," and doors are beginning to open for me even now despite some major challenges.  In some respects, I feel a little like Job, but the important thing is that God is ultimately in control, and this is a new beginning for me any way I look at it.  It is just that the timing was unexpected is all. 

Losing a home is never an easy transition - there is a lot of dust that needs to settle as things get redefined and realigned, and at the moment I am very sore and tired.  I have lost many hours of sleep, and for several days I didn't even have an appetite.  And being my ex Barbara and I had to basically coordinate this move by ourselves (although we did get very much appreciated help from both our parish priest, as well as from a sweet Jewish lady Barbara knows from her earlier work, Beth Fox - she stocked us up with latkes, knishes, pastries, and some Omaha Steaks burgers that were delicious, and she was a Godsend when we were moving with bringing much needed drinks), it was the most strenuous work I have ever done - I felt like several times it would do me in due to the fact that I am not as young as I used to be and these intense moves are something I won't be able to do anymore soon.  I will just be glad when the dust settles and we can get back on course again. 

And, despite the traumatic aspects of this experience, I at least have some perspective as to what is going on now.  It is humbling, but in many ways also liberating.  After all, the logistics of moving around a HUGE library and a music collection were cumbersome, and worrying about how to do that was a huge source of stress.  Yet, God moved.  Not exactly like I would have liked, but he did move.   While a lot of uncertainty still hangs over everything - it is like a bomb-damaged city after a war honestly - the drive to rebuild is there, and I will make the best effort to do so.   As things unfold I will detail that journey more.

This year has been one of a lot of paradoxes - on one hand, I earned a Ph.D., and on another I lost my home.  But, out of ashes sometimes grows the best flora, and I am planning to ensure a bountiful harvest from this ash heap.  Any rate, that is an update on life at this time, and I will be back again soon.  God's blessings to all who read this.