A New Year

 As I am writing this, it is the third day of 2025, a new year.  In all honesty, I am actually very relieved that 2024 is over - what a crazy year that was!!  As the old year ended and the new one dawned, some things happened that were both good and bad, and I wanted to start there and then just reflect somewhat.

The tragic loss of a pet is something that is rough - I have buried way too many in the past several years.  And, it happened again - my little Tortie cat, Lily, passed away on Christmas morning.  I am guessing that the stress of so many moves the past several months could have exacerbated her condition somewhat, but she had been struggling for some time, ever since we were able to retrieve her from the old place in Hagerstown in mid-October just shortly before I moved here.  After our move there, we initially could not find her anywhere, but luckily our former landlady was very helpful and we were eventually able to get her from the old place.  She was obviously traumatized, and she had also developed a serious cold while being locked in the old place - she was sneezing incessantly and even steam baths in the bathroom didn't seem to alleviate the issue any.  After moving here, she seemed OK for a while, but then she stopped eating and her respiratory issues got worse.  Also, she developed an abscess on her head, and it began to fester about a week before Christmas, and Barbara and I attempted to treat it.  But, she was long past any solution, and on Christmas Eve night we kept a vigil over her until she passed in the early hours of Christmas morning.  I laid her to rest a day later in the backyard, and in doing so I also sustained an injury of my own as I tripped on the back step and sustained a bad bruise on my left calf.  Losing Lily was tragic, and I want to reflect some more on that shortly, but as for the rest of the holiday it actually was quite nice.  We attended a beautiful Christmas Mass at my parish, SS. Philip and James over near Johns Hopkins University, and Barbara spent Christmas here and we had a nice holiday. Barbara then came back up for New Year's a couple of days ago, and we attended Mass at the Basilica of the Assumption (the Archdiocesan cathedral for Baltimore) due to the fact our parish here was not having a Feast of the Mother of God Mass (a Holy Day of Obligation) and we needed to attend somewhere.  I also got a couple of paid weeks off from school, which was nice, and it has been good to mostly relax.   Any rate, that is how the old year ended and the new one began, so now let's reflect on things a bit

If you have ever owned a pet, you know that they quickly become something special.  And, when you lose them, it is equally tragic as you feel that loss.  Just prior to starting this, I was downstairs getting a cup of coffee and looked out at the grave I buried Lily in the back yard.  As I looked at that spot, I felt a heaviness, a loss, and it has been somewhat difficult coming to terms with her loss.  I remember when we got her - it was July 2012, and we found her at an adoption drive at a Petco in Lakeland, FL.  She was part of a litter of two, and her little sister was identical to her.  Barbara wanted to initially take them both, but it just wasn't practical at the time as we had three other cats then.  But, we brought the little girl home, and she immediately formed a bond with me - she essentially became my little girl.  I affectionately called her "Booger Bear" for some reason, and it seemed to fit her perfectly.  I remember calling her, and she had the cutest little "wah" meow that would really melt you.  For the 12 years we had her, she was healthy - never sick, never any issues, and I figured she would live much longer.  But, with the issues surrounding the moving around we had to do the past few months, it did take a toll on her, and after being stranded in the old place for two weeks before we could get her out, she may have been severely traumatized which exacerbated her already fragile health.  Lily's loss is part of a long series of events that happened beginning in early October which essentially changed everything in my life, and to be honest it is still somewhat hard to deal with on some days as both Barbara and I have had to make a lot of adjustments.  With Barbara living 40 miles away in Rockville, it is a bit of a new thing for both of us, as we had lived under the same roof for over 30 years.  Even in separation and divorce, we have remained close, and in all honesty we both miss each other.  But, we still get to visit, and it is nice to spend holidays together.  In all honesty, we are actually planning on the possibility of finding a house together to share for a while until we get to a place where we can part ways and do whatever it is God has meant us to do.  Lately, that is becoming more of a thought too, as in all honesty the place I am leasing now is not ideal - it is in downtown Baltimore, and I am sharing it with two other roommates.  One of them, Joel, is actually decent, but the other one, James, is a bit weird - he is rude, loud, and actually somewhat antisocial in his behavior as well as having some serious OCD issues.  Also, the loss of my music collection and my library has been a bit hard to swallow too - I have started to recover some of the books I had, but it will take a long time before I have a library again like I once had.  And, as for the music collection, I was able to retrieve (thanks again to our former landlady) some of my important vinyl collection, including both Franklin Mint sets.  So, that is the potential start of a new collection later.  But this experience has also made me refocus somewhat, and let me now get into that.

I have loved my vintage big band collection for over 40 years, and this makes the second time I have lost it.  It was an impressive collection too - I had practically every major recording plus some of practically every big band that ever existed, and it was great.  I don't think it is possible to ever restore that complete collection, so I am going to refocus a bit.  I am planning on actually just getting a couple of large CD collections (the Time-Life Big Bands library is an idea) and then maybe getting a smaller collection of the stuff I actually liked the most over the years - the "legacy collection," if you will.  These would include the significant LPs (preferably reissued on CD) that I have had over the years, as well as some recordings of things I have as favorites.  This way, it will be a smaller collection but still a nice one that reflects my tastes better.  If resources allow, maybe when I get into a more permanent living situation I may attempt to restore the complete collection (I still have the catalog in storage) but it's not a priority right now.  I have been forced to be extremely minimalist now, so I have to focus on just what I really need for the time being.  The good thing is the internet - almost every piece of music I have ever owned is online, and I can download them to a drive eventually and have them that way.  As technology evolves, it also seems as if CDs and vinyl (despite a renewed interest in the latter by hipster Millennials) are going the way of the dinosaur, and online streaming and flash drives are a more space-efficient and cost-efficient way to obtain many things.  I thank God always for good internet access, as it does make a huge difference.  I will see where I am at in a few months, and will take it from there.  I think that would be the smart way of dealing with this. 

My whole world honestly was shaken up last year, and in many ways I am so glad to see 2024 gone.  I will miss my old life, especially having a whole place of my own - it has been an adjustment living in one room again, something I haven't done since my undergrad years when I lived in a dormitory.  I also miss many of my beloved pets - I miss Lily, KitKat, my rabbit Trixie, Oreo, Chloe, Peaches, and my various guinea pigs, rabbits, and birds I have had over the years.  And, I miss Mom and so many other people who have passed on, as to be honest losing Mom a couple of years ago was a bit more difficult than I thought.  I also miss having Barbara in the house - sure, Barbara had quirks, but we knew each other well and it worked, even if our marriage didn't.   I am blessed we are still close friends though, and I love her like a sister still.  I am blessed however with a good job - teaching high school full-time at a Catholic school is a dream job, although not without its challenges too.  And, God has really demonstrated his presence with me as I have gone through a lot yet he has been there every step of the way - it hasn't always been easy, but somehow it worked out and came together.  I am not sure what 2025 is going to bring in all honesty, but I am hoping and praying for the best and do have a more positive outlook.  If any situation could qualify as a new beginning, I would say mine certainly does at this point.  I will keep up my journey here as things happen, and by this time next year we will see where we are at then. 

I want to now wish everyone a blessed 2025, and pray it is a good year for all of us.  With Trump being re-elected, for the first time in four years I am having hope about the future now.  And, I do have some good opportunities out there too that I will be able to pursue, so we will see how that works out as well.  Thank you again, and will see you next visit.