Dealing with Misplacement

 After battling a nasty bout of flu that kept me out of work for over a week, I am on the mend.   The infection is all gone but left me with a nasty cough that acts up if I get overheated, and I am ready to shake that as well.  Being in convalescence at home for a week, I became glaringly aware of the fact that I have been feeling discontented a lot lately.  I almost dread starting a day now in many cases - I am not thrilled with the house I live in, and my job can be challenging at times, and don't get me started on those bus trips!  Fortunately, in the last day or so there has been a bit of a turnaround, but I still have a bit to go.  I wanted to sort of talk about that today, as it really has a lot to do with many things that have happened in the past few months.

I am at heart a small-town guy - I do my best in a small town, and my values and other attributes I share have small-town influence and roots.  But, I find myself in the middle of one of the largest cities in the country, and it has been an adjustment.  The pollution, the population density, and so many other mess with my basic sensibilities, and as a result I find it hard to adjust at times.  Now, this is not my first time living in a city by no means - I lived in the Tampa Bay area for several years, and even faced a few of the same issues there, but not on this scale.  And, I also was extremely happy to move out of the cities too.  The cities have their benefits - the mass transit system, access to shopping and so many other things, and a higher level of salary for work - but they also are not ideal.  A city is ultimately a good place to do work and business, but not exactly the most ideal living place.  While in time things will either adjust or get better, it has been almost a daily challenge to exist recently and I am coming to terms with that.  

Of all the issues I face in urban living though, perhaps ideological issues are one of the toughest.  I am fairly conservative, a traditionalist, and I also embody the values of an older generation.  Often, in the middle of a big city such as this one, there are problems such as political and religious differences, and whereas in most of America I would be the mainstream, in the middle of the city I feel like a proverbial fish out of water.  Even the Catholic school I work at is somewhat divergent when it comes to how we view things, as many teachers tend to be more liberal than me and I am having to guard my convictions in order to prevent risking castigation by both the co-workers in my school as well as many of the students.  At some point there has to be a breaking point, but if one happens I want it to be as genial as possible.  Any rate, in many instances it is also a type of spiritual warfare, as I am contending often for my own soul and I feel that if I let my guard down on even the most subtle of deviations, I could risk issues.  That is one reason I am back to reading Watchman Nee's book again.

This week's discourse seems like rambling on and on, but I wanted to announce what I am going to be doing.  As I am charged with teaching a course on Sacraments and Morality, one huge challenge to that is the lack of a good textbook - I have had to fly by the seat of my pants to design a curriculum, and so far I have a decent one.  I am wanting to turn those notes into some blog article lessons, much like what I did when I taught the adult Bible studies at St. Mary's in Winter Haven years ago.  So, over the next few weeks, I will begin composing a series of articles that give basic lessons on morality, and in doing so I can also refine how I teach these things to 11th graders.  Therefore, next week we will begin that series.

Thanks again for allowing me to share this week, and will see you next time.