The Settling Into Routine

 I have done a fairly detailed chronicle of my journey since last October, and in all honesty, it is an adventure I overall do not care to repeat.  After almost 6 months of feeling very unsettled, similar to a fish out of water, I am finally in the vernacular "finding my groove" as it were.  A couple of trips to the storage facility Barbara and I share in West Virginia has reunited me with much of my personal paperwork and some other things I needed, and we are not quite done yet.  At the present time, the storage unit still holds about 50% of our stuff, so it will be some time yet before total restoration happens.  But, at least now it is feeling better than it did. 

As I mentioned as well, two weeks ago today Barbara moved into the room next to mine, and for the first time in several months we are again under the same roof.  While people may find the relationship Barbara and I have odd (it baffled the Dominican friar at the church when we told him of us last week), it works for us.  We are no longer married obviously, but we are still close and still good friends and that speaks much of a level of maturity on our part.  It is bad mythology to assume that a divorced couple has to hate each other's guts, and in all honesty it is something that society has bought into contributing to its own detriment.  Divorce is tragic in any circumstance admittedly, but life happens - and so does divorce.  Barbara and I thought years ago that we would be married no matter what, yet we ended up doing the unthinkable and divorcing after almost 28 years of marriage. We don't blame each other for it happening, as we were neither totally at fault nor were we totally perfect either.  In many cases, we were victims of circumstance - being pushed by a Pentecostal cult into a marriage when we were not ready for it, and then allowing divisive in-laws to get into our business and cause further trust issues.  When it was all said and done though, Barbara and I are much better friends than we ever were spouses, and we both see that now.  And, that bears further reflection.

Barbara and I are both feeling much better about being back under the same roof again - we both felt a loss and it was difficult for both of us over the past several months.  We are like a brother and sister, as we look out for each other, pool our resources, and generally what we have makes more practical sense given the circumstances.  Many people have applauded us for our state right now, and many are initially shocked but then see how good it works for us and then they are fully supportive.  And, it perhaps is saving both our lives on many levels.   Barbara has unfortunately faced some major health issues in the past several months, and perhaps my being close by may actually be a good thing for her.  Likewise, I am not getting any younger, and a little extra help benefits me as well.  As odd and unorthodox an arrangement that we have is, it works out beautifully, and we are doing better because of it.  For those who would seek to be condemnatory and judgmental, you already know what you can do with yourselves although I am too civil to say it here.  

Part of the resettling of our lives entails getting back some things we thought we had lost.  The crazy circumstances of our move from Hagerstown created a situation for us that tested every fiber of our beings, but we survived and prevailed.  We have had to adjust some things, but nothing too earthshaking.  The idea of surviving vs. thriving comes into consideration here, and I have to say that I have thrived against the odds.  There are days I still have to come to terms with things, but as life starts to fall into place, I must look at this as a new chapter God has opened in my life.  

I am uncertain where things will end up in the long term, but I at least have secure work, Barbara too now has a better home, and as the dust settles a new life is taking shape.  Perhaps when I write in a year I will have a new dimension to the story to share.  God's will and timing will tell. 

Thanks again for allowing me to share my thoughts this week, and I will be back soon.