Feeling Old

 Does it ever seem like your mind doesn't want to catch up to your body?  At 55, I have been feeling it recently.  Just a couple of nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my leg that was just uncomfortable.  My first fear-addled thought was "Oh Lord, I have a blockage!"  A day later it wasn't quite as noticeable because it went as quickly as it came.  However, waking up out of a sound sleep with a charley horse in your calf is not the most pleasant experience.  There are facts we have to face, and I am realizing that more every day. 

A nice little proverb circulates out there now that tells us a fact of life - one in one dies.  Unless the Second Coming happens, dying is an inevitability we all will face.  At times though, we labor under the delusion of our own immortality, not realizing that our mind and body are having a difference of opinion with each other.  That whole 12-inch pizza you could polish off when you were 25?  Now, you are ready to explode after two slices because you get so full.  Also, that long walk that encompasses 12 blocks you could do without breaking a sweat at 22?  Now, climbing three stairs to your front door is a challenge.  I recall an episode of The Golden Girls several years back where Dorothy was regaling Rose with her day at the teacher's lounge where she was a substitute teacher.  She said that she was having a good time talking to a group of much younger teachers - she noted they were young and pretty, and then said "at that age you don't have to be pretty and you're pretty."  However, as Dorothy was driving home, she looked in her car mirror and said she saw this old woman staring back at her, and the comic effect was that Rose, ever the functional moron, said "who was it?"  It of course was Dorothy's reflection, and it was as if reality came rushing back at her like a 200-mile-an-hour freight train.  As most of us get older, we have those days like Dorothy did - we are feeling so good and then we catch a reflection in the mirror - oops!  A realization like that can do one of two things.  First, it can make you depressed for three weeks.  Second, it could force you to accept reality and maybe think about what you can do with your life at this point, as you still have life and don't want to waste it.  If any realization were to hit me, I would much rather it be the second.  And, that puts me in mind of what I was teaching my 11th graders this week.

The course I teach at the Jesuit high school in Baltimore I work at is called Sacraments and Morality, and a part of the Sacraments aspect of the class is understanding what the sacraments do for us.  For one, they dispense grace.  Secondly, they challenge us to live out our faith more fully, both to serve others as well as to fulfill what God instilled in us.  That is the whole point of passages in Scripture like Romans 12:4-5, as well as the whole chapter in Ephesians that deals with the spiritual gifts.  Whether we know it or not, we all have a purpose on this earth.  We may not live up to doing it, nor may we even feel like we have any value, but God creates us as individuals for a reason.  So, what does age have to do with this?  Let's talk about that a bit, shall we?

People think that when they reach a certain age, that is it - life is over, dreams die, and all we do now is just sit down and accept it.  However, is that the right approach?  Another stronger reality exists too, one I learned from reading Lawrence Welk's own story years ago in his book You're Never Too Young.  Welk, a devout Catholic who had accomplished a lot in his 90+ years on this earth, lived by a motto - work is integral to fulfillment, so do what you have passion about.  He wrote this in his late 70s, and it does speak to something.  No one is too old to fulfill their dreams, to find true love, and to have a fulfilling life.  On the contrary, it is important to keep oneself active, in mind and in body, because it improves quality of life.  And, sometimes, the opportunities to do certain things when we were younger were not there, and now that we have the time and resources, those same opportunities are now gift-wrapped at our feet - all we need to do is accept them and pursue them.  So, if a widower has another chance at love and happiness, let him do it (and widows too).  If a 60-year-old wants to earn a Ph.D. or even a Bachelor's degree, go for it.  As has been said many times, the most formidable obstacle in life is ourselves. If we can break the barrier we set up, then what lies ahead of us is one thing - possibility.  Again, one of my favorite phrases I heard from a preacher years ago is this - "your present position does not dictate your future potential." And, that includes age. That leads to another interesting thought.

I have heard folks say they cannot wait to retire, as all they were going to do was sleep until noon, and then sit in a chair vegetating all day.  It is easy to feel like that when you have a hectic schedule - I myself just wrapped up a very busy second week of the school year, and all I wanted to do was think about sleep when I got home.  Yet, it is almost 10 PM, and I am doing something I love to do - I am writing thoughts.  For most people, retirement is viewed one way until someone actually does retire, and then they almost go crazy with boredom so they have to do something.  Keeping the mind active in particular is a key factor, because an active mind will continue to stretch and challenge us.  So, keep in mind that before you start dreaming of a retirement where you lay like a drunk manatee on a beach in Florida somewhere, wait until that day actually comes.  After you spend what is probably going to be your last day at an office where you have worked for years, and you get emotional goodbyes from wonderful co-workers who also have become dear friends, you open the presents, eat the cake, and are in a pretty festive mood, then the next morning comes.  You may not feel it right away, but give it about a month and you will - you start feeling bored and restless.  You need to do something, but you are now retired - so what do you do?  This is where the value of hobbies, passions, and working to benefit others in a volunteer capacity come into the picture.  Those things give a new focus to life, and they may even open a new chapter.  So, don't let your brain hibernate when your pension starts - do something that you find fulfilling and stay active.  

This was a short reflection this week, but it was one that I am feeling immensely myself right now.  When you start reading obituaries and see a lot of people you have known over the years in them, it's time to think about your life and what it means to you.  As you do, hopefully you will find new purpose and make a difference.  Thanks again for allowing me to share.