The Year Ends

 This is my last official blog post of 2025, given that I have written quite prolifically over the past year.  I am not really sure why I have so much content, but with 90 total posts, I have broken a record in the past 15 or so years of doing this.  That being said, let's retrospect a bit on the year.

2025 was a complex year - it was a year of transitions, recovery, and healing from the mess that happened in 2024.  There were many good things that happened - I became a Templar Knight, I was renewed for another year at the school I teach at with a nice raise, and I did get some much-needed dental work done last month.  However, it has also been a year of a lot of things happening too - stress at my current job, a crackhead ramming into the front of our house and destroying Barbara's car in the process, the loss of our beloved little cat Mickey, and to be honest, I have felt like the proverbial "fish out of water" living in central Baltimore.  I am in the process of making a few changes happen that may turn things around, so we will see what happens.  Oh, and I cannot forget that I also was able to get myself out of debt too!  All in all, the year has had its ups and downs, and while I would not call it one of my worst years, it cannot be considered one of my best either.  But, in essence, that is life too isn't it?

With this only being the second day of December with around 29 days of 2025 yet to go, we still have Christmas yet, and also there is a possibility I could gain a bit of prestige at my workplace as department chair of my department - the lady who taught our Freshmen Theology class has left to pursue other opportunities (I cannot blame her for that) and she was the department chair.  As a department chair, Claire was really good - in the short 11 months she was with us, she streamlined things and we actually felt like a department.  I also got close to her as a friend as well, as she was a stellar human being.  She had her own reasons for moving on, and I don't know enough about her personal situation to elaborate on it with any credibility, but I also don't judge.  I pray the best for her as she pursues other opportunities - she does have a husband and kids, and she also is planning on completing her own doctorate, and she deserves the best.  She was also the one who suggested I take her place as department chair, and while a part of me is very reluctant, I am also thinking about how that will look on a future CV when I eventually do move onto other opportunities myself.  So, what of that?  Let's reflect on that a moment.

I have this feeling that Baltimore will not be a "forever home" to me, nor do I want it to be in all honesty.  There is going to come a time when I will be presented with another opportunity, and I am preparing for that now.  I am also starting to look seriously at home ownership too, as I feel it is time - I am making a decent salary now, I have my doctorate, and it is time to begin looking into long-term goals for myself, as at 56 I am not getting any younger.  I am frustrated, a bit lonely, and I want to have roots again, which I badly miss having.  While there are some things in the works that I will share at a more relevant time, there is still much to do.  I am needing to rely more on God than at any time in my life, but I also feel like my devotional life has suffered - I do attend Mass regularly, and I pray every morning as well as every night before I go to sleep, and Barbara and I even pray a prayer traveling of a morning while we commute to work.  But, the enthusiasm of my earlier faith feels a bit, well, tethered.  I don't know how to get some lost fire I had back, and that is something I desperately need to do too - I faith is still strong, and I know I have supernatural grace with me, but I just feel so bleh lately.  My spirit needs a spring shower, and perhaps I need to give it one.  I may commit something next year to doing just that, because God is truly my lifeline and I need him with me always.  These are just some things I ponder and where I am at as the year winds down.

Now, about Barbara.  As everyone knows by now, Barbara and I separated and divorced five years ago, but in all honesty, our friendship didn't die with our marriage thankfully.  If anything, we are closer as friends now than we ever were as spouses, and I view Barbara like a sister I never had.   She is still a huge blessing in my life, and perhaps the only family I have close to me now, and I am very thankful she is still part of my life.  Of course, when people hear our story their eyebrows shoot up, but why is that so strange?  To me, Barbara's and my friendship demonstrate the spirit of Christ in both of us, and although we have moved on in other aspects, we will always be close and I feel an integral part of each other's lives.  We will never be married again obviously, because I myself have moved on and have some future plans of my own in the making, but the fact we are still an integral part of each other's lives is no accident.  So, if there were something I could be very thankful for as the year ends, it is the fact that Barbara is still close to me, and I thank God for her friendship and sisterhood. 

With the pressures of life always there these days now, I feel a bit worn-out, tired, and long for an extended rest - thankfully retirement for me is about 11 years away, and I may take full advantage of that when it comes.  2025 was definitely a new chapter though, and there is a lot that has happened, and continues to happen, as the year closes.  When I revisit in January, I will do more retrospection once I have some time to really ponder things, but suffice to say, it has been an adventure. 

Given that after this is published and I can add final edits to the copy I am sending to be bound, I want to extend sincere Christmas greetings to everyone who reads this.  Your visits are what makes this blog tick, and thank you so much for that.  I am currently looking into new venues to transfer this site to, as I want to consolidate this and my other blogs together, but that is still a work in progress.  So, may you all have a blessed remainder of 2025, and may 2026 be a good year for us all.  Thank you, and will see you next year.