From April Showers to May Flowers

 This past week has been a crazy one workwise - it is one of the last normal weeks before we begin the descent to summer break next month, and therefore there is much to ponder and think about. Given I have gotten a notice of non-renewal of contract at my current school where I work, I have to begin formulating some plans and am in talks with several schools now about possible opportunities.  After talking with Barbara as well, God spoke to her and recommended I do a fast to discern his will, so tomorrow will be a total fast of all food but I need to remind myself lest I forget.  However, I also see this as a good thing, because in all honesty the school I work at has a lot of serious problems, compounded by certain in the administration who don't seem to care, with the possible exception of our principal, who I believe tried his best but there is only so much he can do too.  In all, about half of our faculty is in the same situation I am in, and many of us are actually relieved while also being a bit apprehensive about the future too.  God has his plan for all things though, and this is no exception - where a door closes, a window opens, although you can't always see it yet.  So, this is where we are. 

I have been going over a lot of things in my mind the past couple of weeks, and it also has allowed me to be more outspoken about a few things.  Three people at my current school in particular - a clueless and micromanaging guidance counselor who likes sticking her nose in places it doesn't belong, a campus "minister" who is essentially a Marxist who politicizes everything yet does little actual ministry, and a vice principal who does boneheaded things and cannot be consistent if his life depended on it - are the focus of a dawning of honesty.  I was able to tell two of them off, and the third (the vice principal) has already faced the wrath of some of the other faculty so he has retreated to his office and hasn't been seen much the past week.  While I am not a person for confrontation, and honestly I hate it when it comes to that, I just come to a point where I have to say "enough is enough!" and make a stand just to get it out, and it honestly felt cleansing to do so.  Thankfully, our principal is a man of principle (pardon the pun!) and I believe with him I have come to a place of mutual respect - he has challenges of his own, and I have honestly started to pray for him.  He is not one to say a lot - and I perfectly understand that in his position he has to be nuanced - but what he doesn't say does speak volumes, and it has helped me to respect him more.  Being he is new this year, at first he was a bit to get used to, but I think as he began to see things for himself he started to understand, so I am more than happy to give him the benefit of the doubt as well as offering up prayers for him each day.  It can't be easy dealing with the mess our particular school is, and I would not want to be in his position if I were paid a million bucks a year in all honesty.  God bless him for the fortitude he does have though. 

I wanted to open that discussion to talk about some things.  I am one of those people who relates better by writing than talking, and I can be awkward, soft-spoken, and even somewhat easy to misinterpret when I actually talk.  And, if I get very emotional and upset, I tend to get shaky too - my hands shake, my body feels trembly, and it is not a pleasant experience.  I think the reason is that there is a lot to say but it all just comes tumbling out - some of us are like that.  And, I can get to a point where if I get really riled I will hit something - in at least two of the houses we have lived in over the years, there are holes in the walls that witness that fact.  I was always told by my mother that I have a bad temper, but I don't believe I really do - it actually takes a lot to cause me to react that way, and it happens a lot more rarely than my mother or anyone else used to think.  I do tend to holler a little and will often just get a bit demonstrative, but that is just me - that usually doesn't mean I am really angry, but rather just a little annoyed and am letting off steam.  That probably has to do with the Mediterranean portion of my DNA, as I also talk with my hands too, and I get warm easily - it can be 40 degrees in the house and I can be really hot and clammy.   Also, too, I don't think that God will condemn us either if we blow a fuse on occasion - as a matter of fact, sometimes we need that release or it will cause worse problems.  Many of my more emotional fuse-blowing moments are usually over within a few minutes anyway, and I am fine after I get it off my chest.   I even do that when I am watching stuff on TV or reading something too, as I have probably given more tongue-lashings to the TV than to anything.  In Italian it is called miccia corta, or irascibile, which simply means "short-fused" or "quick-tempered."  The context of that though is that it is more of a quick April downpour than it is a category-five cyclone, and once people understand you they tend to roll with it.  Filipinas have a similar state called tampo in which they just get irritable for no reason too - in both the cases of miccia corta and tampo, it is best to just give the person a wide berth and then resume conversation later.  The "short fuse" is more like a firecracker than a nuclear bomb, in other words. 

Some people at my work have given me bad cases of miccia corta in the past week, which is what I call my "April Showers" this year.  Al Jolson sang a song about "April Showers" way back in 1932 I believe, on a famous recording where he was accompanied by Guy Lombardo's orchestra.  Here are those lyrics:

Though April showers may come your way

They bring the flowers that bloom in May

So if it's raining, have no regrets

Because it isn't raining rain you know, it's raining violets

And where you see clouds upon the hills

You soon will see crowds of daffodils

So keep on looking for a bluebird, and recognize its song

Whenever April showers come along

There is a vague lesson in that old song, which was penned by Louis Silvers and Buddy DeSilva in the 1920s, and anyone who has faced a storm in life and survived it knows just what I am talking about.  The rain is wet, it is unpleasant, and we may even be morbidly terrified of the thunder and lightning, but the storm passes and we see what grows in its wake.  Same with a temper cloudburst - it may appear frightening, but when it's over the air is clearer and smells better.  Just keep that in mind when you feel like you are about to blow a gasket when a pain-in-the-butt guidance counselor starts whining about the "layers" a disobedient student has and that you were "too aggressive" in doing your job you are hired to do, or that liberal campus "minister" who is so unkempt that his pants always ride below the equator worse than a country plumber and he has been known to "moon" anyone behind him.  These people are the impetus for the storm clouds, and they can cause a weather flare-up just by being in their presence.  When I see the lyrics to that old Al Jolson song though, I recall that sometimes like the rose garden fertilized with manure, those factors are being used to help someone grow, and to grow one needs water, right?  So, a small torrential downpour is not only inevitable even for the most longsuffering of people, but it may actually be healthy.  

Being the computer died due to a faulty charger, I am picking up on this the next day from when I started so my train of thought may have had a slight detour.  The third "stooge" of the favorite trio, the vice principal, is now double-booking coverages today for the ring ceremony they have every year for the 11th graders - I tend to keep telling myself "only six more weeks" but I also feel an "April shower" brewing at this point.  Time to take a deep breath and prioritize I suppose, but my goodness - being diagnosed 16 years ago with high blood pressure, this type of nonsense is not exactly something that is healthy for me so I have to manage it constructively.  I will write more about that experience in retrospect, as again I have six weeks left here before I am finished and I want to at least finish here on some high note.  But, it is challenging - Lord, give me strength.

That sort of concludes today's thoughts, but I will revisit soon.  Thank you for joining me today.