Commemorating the Victims of A Forgotten Tragedy

Although it has been a busy month for me - with the semester ending, my new responsibilities at our parish church, and still settling in from our recent move - one thing I wanted to do was commemorate the memories of some people I have a deep connection to.  In 1915, a horrendous act of genocide was carried out by the Turks and other Islamist fanatics against primarily the Armenian people, but also caught in the crosshairs were Assyrians and Pontic Greeks, the total casualty count being approximately 1.5 million.  To this day, the Turks still deny and attempt to suppress the facts regarding this atrocity, and unfortunately they have made some powerful allies within our own government, and that is what I wish to address today.

It comes as no surprise that Capital Hill is filled with deadbeats we call Congressmen.  They claim to represent us, but in reality the overwhelming majority of them are career politicians seeking to advance themselves, and although President Trump promised to "drain the swamp" of these bloodsucking leeches (and, yes, they are both Democrats and Republicans!) that has yet to be made reality.  In commemoration of the victims of the Armenian Genocide, the Armenian National Committee of America is in the process of producing a film called Architects of Denial, and essentially it exposes something very disturbing among those who we have elected leaders and trusted to represent us - due to a lot of kickback money coming from the Turkish Government (more so now with that madman Erdogan in office) many of our duly-elected Congressional "leaders" (I use that term very loosely and very facetiously) have opposed measures to recognize April 24th as "Armenian Martyrs Day."  As a matter of fact, they are so fearful of losing their Turkish bankrollers that they can be openly hostile about the facts and their blatant denial of them.  The film highlights two in particular - both liberal Democrats (big surprise there!) - and I am going to call them out here as well too.  Let's talk about these hypocritical "Progressives" who collect their salaries at the expense of hardworking taxpayers in their states a little.

The first one I want to mention is Eddie Bernice Johnson, who is Democratic Representitive from Texas.  Johnson has been in office 24 years (since 1993), and her track record has been one of race-bating, catering to the homosexual activist lobby, and supposedly setting up "scholarships" for underprivileged kids in her Congressional district, but the "underprivileged" it turns out are her own family members and friends!  Oh yes - she is the caliber of leader we want, right?  In Architects of Denial, she is approached on camera by the narrator of the film, and when confronted about the Armenian Genocide, she outright says she doesn't believe it happened (she ironically sounds like a Klucker or the late White Supremacist William Pierce - author of The Turner Diaries - who denies the reality of the Holocaust).  She is clearly one of the leeches that needs to be included in Trump's "Drain the Swamp" campaign, and to be honest, her callousness should have her flushed down a loo somewhere.  But, she is one of many, as there are others. (information taken from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Bernice_Johnson - accessed 4/25/2017)

Race-bater and Genocide denier Congressional leech, Eddie Bernice Johnson

The second Congressional Progressive leech is even more appalling, as this man is supposed to be a Holocaust recognition advocate and is Jewish by heritage.  Jews and Armenians should in reality be natural allies, but often people like this next person have hurt that relationship, and it shames me as a person of Hebraic heritage myself.  The man in question is Tennessee Representitive Steve Cohen, also a liberal Democrat, and his general behavior and attitude in regard to the issue of the Armenian Genocide is nothing short of appalling.  Steve Cohen likes to tout himself as being the "first Jewish senator from Tennessee," as if that is a big accomplishment or something - the "progressive" win over the "oppressive and backward" South.  A little history lesson might be something Mr. Cohen needs though, for in reality the "oppressive, racist" South of the Civil War era treated Jews better than did the  "enlightened" North - Grant banned them from serving in his army, but Jeff Davis appointed capable Jewish leaders to his cabinet in the Confederate Government (that is something you will not see in "enlightened" progressive history books!).  Much like the rest of the "Loonie Lefties" in Congress, Cohen advances a very liberal agenda of funding the killing of unborn children, sanctioning "same-sex marriage" as a mandatory requirement, and he has even went against his own people in his dastardly treason against the nation of Israel.  He also advocates the legalization of marijuana, and while supporting the preservation of spotted owls, he is stone-silent when it comes to Assyrian Christians being slaughtered by ISIS in the Middle East in recent years.  This all explains his position on the Armenian Genocide, when confronted with it in the film.  In an earlier press conference from 2008, he even became physically aggressive with an Armenian filmmaker, Peter Mursurlian, when Mursurlian confronted him with questions about why he is supporting the Turkish lobby - he claims to be supporting "good US/Turkey relations," and the "official" position he has for doing so is that recognizing the Genocide would "damage" US relations with Turkey.  Funny; I wonder if he would be that charitable with the Germans if the scenario were different?  The difference, however, is that the Germans owned up to their history, and Germany since WWII has sought to redeem itself; Turkey refuses to do the same.  Yet, Mr. Cohen (who shames his own name, which represents the rich heritage of the Levitical priesthood, which some of his ancestors - who are probably turning over in their graves now - came from) doesn't seem to grasp facts.  However, to people like Cohen, murdering innocents (whether Armenians, Assyrians, Serbs, unborn babies lost to the knives of Planned Parenthood butchers, etc.) means little as long as his own position is secure.  This is why the man is sick.  (Information from this section taken from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Cohen - accessed 4/25/2017).

Congressional leech and traitor of his own people, Tennessee Representitive Steve Cohen

The greed, self-serving butt-kissing, and shamelessness of people like Johnson and Cohen (and I would add Pelosi, Reed, Schumer, the late Ted Kennedy, the late Robert Byrd, Lahey, and on the Republican side, Paul Ryan and Joni Ernst) has made America a laughing-stock in the eyes of the world.  Putin mocks us, Israel is stung over and over by us, and the Islamists plot against us, and they have compliant puppets with people like Cohen, Johnson, and so many others.  One day though, the voice of millions of Armenians, Greeks, Assyrians, and others will rise in judgment against these sorry excuses for leadership, and God help them on that day!  Until that day though, we can pretty much expect the same level of chicanery and ineffectual leadership we see in people like this, and therefore it is up to those of us on the grassroots level to recognize and get the message out about the Armenians.  It is also up to us to remember the evils of the Holocaust, as innocent Jews were killed by another group of "progressives" not unlike some Democrats in Congress called Nazis.  

I want to now include an excerpt from my good friend, actress, and activist Rosie Malek Yonan's lengthy autobiographical novel, The Crimson Field (Verdugo City, CA:  Pearlida Publishing, 2005).  Rosie is a fairly well-known actress who has appeared in many popular shows (she played the neighbor "Mrs. Phil" on Seinfeld as well as a Bajoran engineer on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).  However, despite her tremendous talent as a great Assyrian-American actress, Rosie is also passionate about the plight of her people, and she has advocated tirelessly for them over the past several years.  Rosie and I don't agree on every issue, but she is a dear friend and I have the utmost love and respect for her as a person, and I will always stand with her as she advocates for her people. In the book, on page 380 of her novel, Rosie describes in great detail what many Armenians, Assyrians, and Greeks went through during that violent time of history, and here is what she writes on page 380:

The Turks began seizing clothing, money, jewelry, and whatever else they could tear off the Assyrian corpses.  They shot repeatedly at whoever still seemed to be breathing.  A Turk bent down to pry off the two wedding rings of my husband's and mine that I wore on two fingers next to each other.  The rings would not come off.  He cut my hand off and took the two gold bands.  Blood seeped the earth and when the earth could no longer drink, blood sat on the surface, red and thick.  They tore the crucifix from the wall and took turns urinating on it.  They smashed all the statues and icons in my church.  The statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary toppled down the stairs.  Her head rolled down the stairs and smashed into Ramsin's head.  His head split open.  Ramsin took the hand of his little sister Ramina.  They returned home, finding their way through the firestorm.  Blood came down from the eyes of the Virgin Mary statue.

Then on page 381, this ominous sentence:

A hauntingly tense hush fell onto the church.  Even the birds became still with grief.  

Rosie is writing this from the perspective of a character based on her grandmother, who actually survived this atrocity by escaping to Russia and eventually making her way to the US.  But, it is a story that resonates with Armenian and Assyrian alike, as it details in grisly clarity the nastiness of what Islamic demonism is capable of - it is being repeated even now by the fanatics of ISIS in the Middle East.  Yet, our politicians refuse to acknowledge this even happened because we don't want to "upset" the Turks.  Progressive Democrats have done this before - remember World War II?  Jews were initially allowed to escape Germany when Hitler was starting to enact persecution on them, but our "progressive Democrat" President at that time, Franklin Roosevelt, turned them back and they ended up being fodder for the gas chambers and mass crematories of Auschwitz and other horrible places - does Mr. Cohen in particular recall that??? That is unfortunately what happens though when you have fat-cat politicians who are more interested in boosting their own prestige instead of serving the people who voted for them, and too much of that goes on.  The Armenian Genocide is a factual reality, and despite what some revisionist progressive who wants to kiss the groin of some powerful Turkish leader thinks, almost every Armenian-American today can recall at least one relative who was martyred in that atrocity.  Until our leaders get it together and wise up to truth, they maybe should have a reduction in their salaries and possibly some impeachment proceedings should be recommended against these leeches.  A little time out among us "common folk" may give them the education they lack.  One can always dream....

Much more could be said about this, but the more important thing is that there are many martyrs to commemorate, innocent people of Greek, Armenian, and Assyrian heritage senselessly slaughtered for the crime of being who they are.  This same week is also Holocaust Remembrance as well, and may the victims of places such as Auschwitz, Treblinka, and other hell-holes of death be commemorated as well, and may a sense of shame come over people such as Steve Cohen for being a traitor to his own people - Lord have mercy on his soul and the other wretches like him.  If people would treat the Armenian Genocide with the same recognition they do with commemorating a criminal like Trayvon Martin, the Turks would be forced to face up to what they did and the pressure on their government would bring fast recognition.  But, with a bunch of self-serving parasites in Congress in undeserved places of leadership, it will take a miracle of God to change things.  Good thing is, God is still in the miracle-making business, and He hears the blood of the innocent crying even if our politicians are too dumb and deaf to.  That is the hope in all of this.  God bless until next time. 

A New Chapter

This blog post is a little different - it is the first I have written outside of Florida, and with good reason.  We are no longer in Florida!  On New Year's Eve, I spent the majority of the day hauling many heavy boxes into a 16-foot Penske truck, and at around 8:30 that night we pulled out of our driveway in Lakeland, FL, for the last time and headed east on Interstate 4 before turning north on I-95, and by the time 2017 dawned, we were north of Jacksonville heading out of the state.   Our New Year's began with waking up in a motel room in South Carolina - myself, Barb, my 70-year-old mother, and our three cats in tow with a Penske truck parked outside - and by that evening we were pulling into Martinsburg, WV, at the Super 8, which was to be our home for the next week.  Then came Friday the following week - we got a nice rental home in Hagerstown, MD, and I spent Friday night and early Saturday morning, in 11-degree weather with snow on the ground, unloading many, heavy boxes.   It is now two weeks later, and exposure to the cold has given me a nasty cold I am still recovering from, we are sleeping still on an air mattress temporarily which tends to deflate at least a couple of times a night, and we are still unpacking those many, heavy boxes.  Yet, no regrets - we are now where we are supposed to be, and a new chapter in our lives is opening up for us, and there is a lot to look forward to.

Up until December 31, 2016, I had lived in Florida for 27 years - I went down there right out of high school back in 1989 to start college, finished my degree, got married, and we lived there in three cities ever since.  A lot of good things happened for us there, but to be honest, we were supposed to have been out of Florida over 20 years ago but failed to take the opportunity.  However, now we finally listened, and although a lot of sacrifice has been made with this move, it was something that needed to happen.   So far, the new digs have not been without their challenges - it took almost 2 weeks to get internet service, and we still need to get the majority of our furniture while my new office is basically taken on the resemblance of an Amazon warehouse - books piled all over the place, and about 13 inches to get in the door.  But, all in good timing.  Being sick with a nasty cold (never sweat and engage in heavy labor in 11-degree weather, for it will come back on you with a vengeance!) has complicated things somewhat, but the good thing is that I already had my job with me, and I continue working too.   Our new place is a mobile home in a very nice lot outside of Hagerstown, and it is neat, quiet, and I believe is going to be a great place to live.  One of the first things I noticed the first morning we were here was the sound of a flock of Canadian geese that have established their own little community in the pond down the street from the house - in Florida we had the ibises and sandhill cranes, and here we have Canadian geese.  That is endearing though, as I love birds and they will be an aesthetic pleasure to enjoy while living here.  We have also spent the week establishing ourselves too - a new bank for me, two addresses (our physical address in Hagerstown, and a P.O. Box in Martinsburg just over the Potomac), and getting in on all the savings and perks clubs at the local supermarkets (Weis, Martin's, Shop and Save, and a neat gourmet grocery store in Frederick called Wegman's where I can still get my coveted blood oranges!), as well as getting established at our new Anglican parish in Frederick.  So far, we are getting off to a slow but good start, although I will be very grateful when we can get rid of that infernal air mattress for good and actually sleep on a real bed again!

This is the most dramatic new chapter we have embarked on in many years, and there is a lot to anticipate, be excited about, and even fear a little, but God is in it - God's role is the one thing I am absolutely certain about, and He wants us here for a reason.  So, here we are.  Now, just stay tuned as the chapter starts to write itself, and I will be telling more in the near future. Happy New Year to all my readers.

End-of-Year Perspectives

As December has now arrived, and "visions of sugarplums" dance in the dreams of the children many of you reading this have as St. Nick's arrival approaches (of course, let's remember that the true reason for the season is Jesus Christ becoming man to redeem us), it is time for my own yearly retrospective on the past year.  It has been a year of many transitions, and also of the opening of a very exciting new chapter for Barb and myself, and I will not waste any more time with drawn-out introductions (sort of like the zillions of commercials you see during the season premiere of your favorite shows, right?) and get to the news.

A New Chapter

2016 opened on a very tumultuous note for us last year, as we almost lost our house and things were a real mess.  But, when man has disappointments, God makes appointments, and we were on his schedule this year in a very big way!  2016, which opened in chaos, was also the setting for one of the most dramatic miracles we had seen in our lives.  When we were about to lose our house last year, God intervened by putting it on his people's hearts to help us, and the overwhelming love and support we received from family members, our friends, our church folks, and even our bishop, was something that we still marvel at almost a year later.  However, that miraculous turn of events in our lives also entailed a revelation - God was also telling us it was time to move on, and we began preparing to do something I never thought I would do, but it is turning out to be one of the best decisions we have made, and God was with us every step.  Let me explain that.

Barb came to Florida in 1984, which means she has been down here 32 years of her life.  I came down here to attend college in 1989, which makes 27 years for me.  At one time, we were meant to be here, but over the past 20 or so years it is as if something has been missing for us.  Although those years had their highlights, it was as if we had that voice in the back of our minds saying "you don't belong here any more - it is time to move on."  Temporal success and an unwillingness to move out of our comfort zones (complacency - I ain't too proud to say so!) kept us here far past our welcome, and it took almost getting our butts tossed into the street to make us finally listen to that still small voice and what it was saying.  When you are brought to a place in your life where you have no other options, you start listening to those convictions you ignore, and thankfully for us we did.  Back around the first week of January, both Barb and I were unable to sleep one night due to this restlessness we felt, and so we just sat up and talked.  We both knew that it was time to go forward into the next chapter of our lives, but were not sure what that was to be - actually, we probably did know, but refused to face up to the facts.  So, as we talked about it, we decided it was time for us to get the hell out of Florida, as it was as if since we have been here, we had been in a cycle of frustration and not getting anywhere.  As we talked, we both came to the same conclusion as to where we needed to go, and boy, was that an unexpected revelation!  The answer we got was to move back to where my roots are, close to West Virginia - maybe not in West Virginia, but close.  When we came to accept this, for the first time in many years we both were at peace, and we began to plot the course to make it happen.  We weren't sure when the move would take place, but we knew we were to make the move.  So, the planning began, and over the course of this whole year it has been a progressive thing.

The first thing that happened was when we met with the bishop of our Mid-Atlantic Diocese, Bishop Donald Lerow.  Bishop Lerow, in addition to being the bishop of DMAS, also pastors a parish in North Carolina, and when at the DOS Synod this year, we got to sit down and talk with Bishop Lerow about West Virginia.  Being part of a small Continuing Anglican jurisdiction called the Anglican Catholic Church, we do not have any current parish work in the state of West Virginia at all, and when we mentioned to Bishop Lerow that we were moving to the area and may be interested in pioneering work in my home state, he got ecstatic and glowingly told us that West Virginia had been in his prayers for many years, and then we began talking.  I had been struggling with a calling for many years, and finally listened when the opportunity arose for me to be ordained to the permanent diaconate in our Church.  Any rate, we came back from Synod that May, and all was quiet for about a month until sometime in June I got an email from Debbie Weaver, Bishop Lerow's secretary, with the application paperwork to initiate preparation for Holy Orders.  So, as I began filling that out, and submitting the supporting documentation, things went pretty quietly through the rest of the summer until about mid-August, when I got this summons from Bishop Lerow to appear before their diocesan Commission on Ministry (the first step in the process after filing paperwork).  That meant a really short-notice trip to Alexandria, VA, the following week, and of course resources were a bit scarce, but then God moved again - a few days before we left, two envelopes arrived in the mail, one for me and one for Barb.  It turns out that we had won a small class-action settlement involving our Verizon accounts, and we were both awarded checks of around $169 each, which financed the trip!  This was yet another sign that God was in the midst of our plans, and that we were at the right place at the right time.  I got to Alexandria, and had a very pleasant interview with the Commission on Ministry, which consisted of roughly 12 people (6 clergy and six laity).  I was accepted into the formation program as an aspirant, and after a couple of other items are taken care of, I will be in full postulancy probably sometime at the beginning of next year if all falls into place.  Again, God's timing was perfect, and all fell into place.

As the year progressed, it became evident that we really needed to focus on an area to live, and after some research and deliberation we began to zone in on the Cumberland, MD, area.  Cumberland is the ideal location for what we need to do - it is within reasonable distance of everything we need access to, and it is very affordable to live there.  Therefore, we began to research properties to look at there, and as of this coming week we have a scouting mission for a couple of days to secure the house we will be settling in.  And, that entails yet another miraculous intervention.  My sister-in-law in Indiana, who is a very sweet-natured lady, recently came through a very nasty divorce with her ex, and from it she received a substantial settlement that she was able to get at just the time she needed it too.  When she learned of our plans, she offered to spot us what we needed for our moving expenses, and being our income is tied up in our living expenses, that itself was an answer to prayer.  She was true to her word, and this week we got a check from her for what we needed, and that was a huge blessing as well.  It is of course a loan, but still a blessing.  All this being in place, we are set to move now by December 17th, and at this time we are in the midst of packing and organizing everything, this amidst school and work for me.  But, it is coming along nicely, and I cannot be happier.

Suffice to say, this will be the last thing I write from the state of Florida, as 2017 will be written from our new home, far away from here, and will herald the start of a new chapter.

Working and Studying 

2016 was a blessing to us in another way, as God has provided continuous employment for the entire year for us.  At the end of 2015, I got a call from my old agency, Randstad, about a Communications Associate job which opened up at the corporate offices of Publix Supermarkets, and I was a perfect fit for the job.  I interviewed with Dena Gregory and Ana Veteto, the two ladies who would be my manager and supervisor respectively, and within a couple of days I was told I had the job, which I started on January 12th.   I managed to stay there into mid-October, although my hours were reduced somewhat in the summer, but it was a good experience - both Ana and Dena, as well as my co-workers, were great people to work with, and Publix has a good working environment.  But, God was still at work, and after looking at the job postings my university had on its website, there was an opening for a company called Web4U Corporation, which is based in Atlanta, for a Remote Assistant.  The owner of the company, Michael Tigue (who is a fellow alumnus of my university) hired me on, and I have been working since.  However, the best part of the job is I work at home - I have a set schedule, and essentially what I do is research denominational websites to gather contact data on churches for a database he is building.  It is not work that will get me in the Fortune 500, but I am happy with it and it is perfect for my study schedule as well.  My job will also be moving north with us soon, which means I may be there for a long time, Lord willing.

As for school, it is hard to believe that in less than a year I will have my MACE finally!  Being at Franciscan University has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and there is just so much good stuff I have learned and have been able to apply practically.  My program finishes in the Summer 2017 term, which means I have about 8 months of school left before I have a Master's degree.  It will, of course, be a busy eight months, as at the end of the program I have to take a comprehensive exam of all the material I had over my tenure, but I plan on starting that early.  Any way I look at it, the future is busy.

Church Work This Year

It is no doubt that the Anglican Catholic Church is my home now, and it is a great communion to be part of.  Our involvement with our local parish, St. Mary's in Winter Haven, FL, has been quite entailing.  For the majority of the year, I taught a parish Bible study on Sunday mornings on Genesis, and I was also able to post the lessons on Sacramental Present Truths, all 38 of them!   With the upcoming move, the Bible study concluded on October 16th, but I plan on publishing another series on the Creeds after we get all moved in and settled.  Our parish is small, it struggles, yet it stays strong - some have passed away this past year, we have one man who was incarcerated for a while, and another of our elderly members got to the point that she had to move to North Carolina with her daughter, and she will be greatly missed.  Also, there is still no full-time vicar as of yet, even though Fr. Guy is doing a fantastic job of flying down from Indiana at least once a month to celebrate Mass for us - as an attorney, he has a taxing schedule, and it is a real labor of love for him to do this as faithfully as he has, and the parish is really blessed to have a dedicated vicar like him.  With our moving away, it remains to be seen how things will play out for St. Mary's, but they are a tough little parish - they have survived over 30 years now, and it seems that they find a way to keep going even when membership fluctuates.  So, I anticipate good things for them as well.  I was able to also serve several times by leading the parish in the Morning Prayer Office, and although I was a little iffy about doing that at first, it has become much easier to do as I practice it more.  Upon our move, our new parish will be St. Michael's in Frederick, MD, where the priest there, Fr. Pothin Ngyele, will be my supervising priest as I prepare for the permanent diaconate.  St. Michael's will be sort of our base for working in West Virginia, where I already have the potential of two nursing homes to perform chaplaincy duties (one of them is in Virginia, and is owned by a dear friend of mine I have known since childhood, a sweet lady).

St. Michael's Anglican Catholic Church, Frederick, MD - our future parish home

Interior, St. Michael's, with Fr. Pothin celebrating Mass

My church work will probably be more pronounced as we begin to integrate into St. Michael's, and in time when I start to do parish work in my home state of West Virginia, and that is all part of God's plan as well.  It is a sign of many great things to come.

Other Things

The tragic news this year was the loss of our little female tuxedo cat Oreo.  Oreo became part of our family when she was a little kitten back in 2001, as Barbara surprised me with her as an early birthday present that year.  Although she was a bit temperamental (I often compared her to the cartoon character Slappy Squirrel from Animaniacs, as she could have a similar personality), she also was clearly my cat, and I adored her.  She was getting very old though, and she became sick at around Christmas time last year, and not long after we lost her.  She currently is resting outside our house in a nice little grave I laid her in, beside her sister Isis who passed away back in 2012.  We also had some issues too this year with our Snowshoe Siamese, KitKat, who had almost lost all his hair and he also was having issues with vomiting profusely all over the house (a big mess we still deal with).  However, he has overall recovered nicely, grew back his hair, and if his vomiting would get under control, he'd be perfect.  It should prove fun trying to move him with his little brother and sister some 1200 miles north in a couple of weeks!

Our Oreo (2001-2016)

That essentially wraps up my reflections on the year, and I am hoping that next year will be as blessed and busy as this one.  Have a good holiday, and if you are one of the few people who love fruitcake, eat sparingly!  Also, remember why we celebrate the season too, as we owe a lot to the God who came to us, gave His life, and then conquered death to save us, so that we might be where God has intended us to be.  

Talking to Myself

Over the past several years I have been able to be very self-expressive via blogging, keeping a personal journal, and other pursuits.  At the root of all of that though is where the seed of inspiration is germinated in the first place, and it is something that the greater society has stereotyped as being a hallmark of insanity, but thankfully recent studies have shown that it is actually a therapeutic practice and may even be a mark of genius.  What I refer to is what is often called, in politically-correct language (and one term of this mindset I actually agree with!) "self-directed speech."  For the average person on the street, this translates as talking to yourself.  Although past stigmas of this still linger, I have actually been "guilty" of doing this since the earliest days of my childhood, and I wanted to just talk a little about it.

When I was a kid, I was often misunderstood and even ignored at times by even my own family - I had disinterested parents, and when I got really excited about something it was often shrugged off by my mother, who at the time was more interested in drinking beer and sitting around in her sock feet listening to depressing country music while doing little else.  Some of the pursuits I had as well often would fly over the heads of my friends, and therefore there was little I could relate to them about either.  Even today, I find myself somewhat guarded when even sharing with my wife about things, as years of being just sort of dismissed by most people have kind of instilled in me a filter which regulates what I share and what I keep to myself.  However, at times, I have an inspiration about something that just thinking about it doesn't cut, and the disinterest of others about it is sort of insulting to me on some level - to share with people who don't appreciate something as you do is like the proverbial casting of pearls before swine, and I have learned it is better to be judicious about what one shares.  Therefore, much of that inspiration remains between me and God - thankfully, He always listens, and it was He who gifted us with the imagination and passion to appreciate certain things as individuals.  That makes something of that nature more priceless, and it therefore becomes sacrosanct to one as an individual.  However, merely meditating on something like that is often insufficient, as the mind can easily forget those flashes of inspiration unless you capture them in some way, and such insights need an outlet for expression.  And, that is why over the years I became a master of self-directed speech.

In order to vocalize my thoughts, I have to have time to myself and the inspiration to really hash out the ideas, and at times that is hard to do.  As a kid, my mother often didn't work, and it was as if she was always just there, and she was like a bad wart that would not go away many times.  So, often I would just go out into the woods near the house trekking around, or I would fish in the creek, and while doing that I was at peace with just birds and bees flying around, and birds and bees tend to be good company.  At those times, I could vocalize things I had been thinking about, and it actually felt good to do that.  In my adult years, I also learned the value of journaling for the same purposes, and both of these have been tremendously helpful.  My journal entries, as a matter of fact, are often "talked out" as I write them, and being able to channel my thoughts into a pen has been something that focused me to articulate better.  Even with journaling though, it is still just a great release to self-direct conversation in such a way as to really get perspective on an issue.  For instance, if I face a problem or issue that needs resolution, a couple of hours alone "in conference" with myself often helps me sort out what I need to do, and I can then formulate a plan (one the formulation is done, it often becomes an entry in my personal journal as well).  Also, if I have to prepare a Sunday School lesson, it often helps to have that "invisible audience" to rehearse it, and that way I can teach it better because I have talked it out beforehand (many of those insights end up on my Sacramental Present Truths blog page as well as in a journal entry).  Over the years too, especially in my Christian faith and as far as living that out is concerned, many of those former self-directed conversations are now directed to God as a form of prayer, and this "conversational meditation" has also helped and enhanced my spiritual life.  I am not one to say that God is just my "good buddy" or anything like that, but being able to actually converse with Him as a person rather than as a mere abstraction has also helped me in so many ways.  For one thing, it has shown me that I don't have to be dismissed or ignored, and that God is always there to listen even when my family or friends are not.  Needless to say, in recent years much of what would have been seen earlier as "talking to myself" now has a directed emphasis to someone else, and I cannot say that I "talk to myself" that much anymore.  At times, it is almost instinctive too - I will be vocalizing a number of things, and I catch myself addressing God as I talk like I would any person I am having a conversation with - I will say something like "Lord, here is what I would like to see," etc.  It is not petitioning God for something either, but rather just sharing what is on my mind and heart with someone who does listen.  Understanding devotional life in that way is revolutionary, and now I can understand why in Genesis too Abraham was often called "the friend of God."   That would be a whole teaching in itself for my Sacramental Present Truths blog page, and I may explore that more later!

In preparing to write this, I did a little research about self-directed speech, and came across a couple of resources that I want to briefly comment on.  The first is an article which was published in The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, and it was authored by two professors, Drs. Gary Lupyan and Daniel Swingley.  That article, entitled "Self-Directed Speech Affects Visual Search Performance," was published in 2011.  Although most of the article has to do with case studies based on research conducted, what is of interest is the conclusions Lupyan and Swingley drew from their research, and they can be summarized as follows:

1.  Self-directed speech affects only the cognitive process of selecting the target, not the visual process of recognizing it -  This makes perfect sense in that of course the cognitive process is affected, because as I just noted from my own experience, self-directed speech helps one "hash out" details and doesn't just merely record the obvious.

2. Self-directed speech helps subjects to remember what they are searching for - This also makes perfect sense in that vocalizing an idea helps to reinforce it and also to understand details.  When I am doing this, sometimes I have to go over things a couple of times, but then they get into my mind and I have them.

3.  Self-directed speech helps via word-to-word matching - Another valid point, in that "connecting the dots" does aid in seeing the "bigger picture."

(Article referenced:  Gary Lupyan and Daniel Swingley {2011}: "Self-Directed Speech Affects Visual Search Performance," in The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, DOI:10.1080/17470218.2011.647039.  http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/17470218.2011.647039 {Accessed 11/23/2016} pp. 14-15)

Another writer, Shad Helmstetter, wrote in his 1982 book What to Say When You Talk to Yourself (New York:  Pocket Books, 1982) that there are some "do's" and "don'ts" to self-talk to take into consideration, and he provides a list of those starting on page 238:

1.  Always state your self-talk in the present tense:  Now, to be fair, this is not always possible especially when those moments involve a degree of retrospection and reflection.  However, when addressing a problem or something, it does pay to be "in the moment."

2.  Be specific and state details, covering every possible facet of the problem or goal:  This is actually very integral to productive thought on any level, and also works well in journaling as well.

3.  Always add self-talk that directs you to achieve your objectives in a healthy and beneficial way:  In other words, take the time to think through and "talk out" what's on your mind.

4.  State your thoughts in simple language that is easy to recall:  In other words, when talking to yourself you don't have to impress anyone, so speak like a real person and be yourself!

5.  If talking about dreams, fantasies, or related things, at least make sure such ideas are attainable and are on solid ground.  A good point I see Helmstetter is making here is to start with baby steps, and then progress.

6.  Self-talk involves honesty.  There are two people in this world that you cannot deceive, one being yourself and the other being God Almighty.  Therefore, deception is not necessary and honesty should be easier.  If there is room for improvement, then a plan to do so can be worked out if the problem is dealt with honestly.  However, the problem with the self is that often we can be our own worst critics too, and we can be unduly harder on ourselves than people are with us.  That is something to keep in perspective as well.

7.  Our own self-talk should bring out the best in us, and to set personal challenges to overcome odds and understand the potential God gave each of us.  If we do that, we may surprise ourselves!

Another thing Helmstetter talks about which I used to do is taping these thoughts as I talked them out.  Back some years ago, Barbara got me a micro-cassette recorder for a birthday present and I began a sort of "audio journal" project.  Problem is, I never followed through with it, although I probably should have. I would add to Helmstetter's proposal that journaling is another way of documenting these personal monologues, although taping is definitely a good idea as well.  With the ready technology of "smart phones" and other devices, you can even video yourself now.  Although Helmstetter recommends sharing such recordings with a trusted friend, I would have to say that I would be very cautious about that even, and make sure that the person you do choose to share these intimate insights with is someone you can really trust, or otherwise you will be at risk of being either ignored or rejected, or a deceptive person could use your words against you and you may find your voice plastered all over YouTube or Facebook.  A written journal is a lot more secure than recordings, and I would personally recommend that.  However, a good thing about 21st-century technology is programs such as Dragon, which will actually transcribe what you say into a print form, and this way you can actually capture thoughts you might otherwise lose if you are writing a journal.

In short, "self-directed speech" is actually not a bad thing, and to a degree we all do it, although some are ashamed to admit it.  The shame is entailed in the stigma of associating talking to oneself with insanity, which is both unfair and not exactly the case.  Self-talk is actually an attribute of creativity, and a person who can articulate complex thoughts and is comfortable with doing so also has a view of the world which is more well-rounded and expressive.  Rather than stigmatizing self-talk as a characteristic of insanity, perhaps it would be beneficial to society as a whole if more people would come to terms with it and embrace it.  I know I have, and with many years of creative writing to my credit, I probably would have had far less inspiration and far less written material had I not engaged in self-talk.

So, yes, I do talk to myself, and I am not ashamed to admit it.  For those who want to stereotype and hate on me due to that fact, all I can say to such people is this - my gain is your loss!  For others who may have struggled with the stigma attached to self-talk yet who find fulfillment doing so, it is time you embrace what you do as a gift rather than a curse.  If you are really uncomfortable with it, I suggest that maybe you also do what I do on occasion, and allow yourself to accept the fact that God exists, is real, is omniscient, and always has a listening ear.  Either way, you may find that self-directed speech is a healthy outlet, and maybe can channel some of those dreams and ideas you had into practical reality as you can now hash out how to make them happen.  So long until next time.

Deer Season

As I am writing this today, it is my 47th birthday, and a lot of thoughts come to mind especially this time of year.  One of those is the fact that in my home state of West Virginia, hunting season is in full swing this time of year.  Unlike other parts of the country where vegetarianism is almost viewed as a cardinal virtue of "political correctness," back home deer season takes on its own festive dimension.  It is not uncommon for some kids to take off from school (or at least it didn't used to be) for the week to go out and "bag" a buck, and it was also a great time for relatives whom you may not have seen for over a year to visit and go out on their own adventure of "the hunt."   Of course, a big part of deer season was the meat!  It has been so many years now since I have had a good "mess" of deer steak, and even as I write this I reminisce about how good it was.

My earliest memories of "the hunt" center around my late step-grandfather, Alonzo Lipscomb.  "Lonnie," as everyone affectionately called him, was a skilled hunter despite the handicap of only having one arm (his left arm was amputated due to complications from an injury in a lumber mill many years ago).   However, back then my step-grandfather and grandmother didn't have a lot of money, so bagging the occasional deer was more a necessity at times than a sport.  It was at Lonnie's house at around the age of four that I had my first taste of deer steak, and I loved it ever since.  There are a few interrelated stories I will share in regard to that momentarily, but first, let's talk about Lonnie's hunts.

Although handicapped by the absence of a left hand, Lonnie proved skilled at shooting a rifle, and he had no problem bagging a deer, as well as field-dressing it, all by himself.  When he would get a deer, it created a festive atmosphere in the house too, as that meant meat for a while.  As he would often hunt in the early evening (he told me once that was when the deer fed, when the weather was cooler out and the sun was less intense), it would usually be after dark when he returned.  If he managed to have a successful hunt, his quarry was drug in, and the kitchen table was cleaned off, and the deer was placed on it for prepping.  Lonnie would then don a prosthetic hook, and with the skill of a surgeon he would begin to skin the carcass with a sharp pocket knife only.  This process could take up to an hour or more, depending on the size of the deer.  Once the carcass was skinned, it was portioned, and at this point the fun part of the night started.  One of the first cuts Lonnie would remove was what is called the "backstrap," a strip of lean, tender meat which was found along the upper back part of the deer.  After all the rest of the deer was carved up, packaged, and stored in the large upright freezer my grandmother kept on the porch, Lonnie would slice that backstrap, and then dredge it in flour seasoned very simply with just salt and pepper, and then he would fry it in Crisco in a large cast-iron skillet.  That was such a special treat that we often stayed up late just to eat some of it, and the batter bits that remained in the skillet (we called it "the crunch") were even consumed, as they were as delicious as the steaks themselves.  When you have little else you are able to enjoy in life, it is little stuff like this that makes life memorable.

Also at an early age, I recall Lonnie working for the local Department of Natural Resources office as a maintenance man or something at their station in the county seat of Romney, which was about 15 miles from where they lived.  Often, animal rescues would be taken on by the game wardens Lonnie worked with, and on one occasion a rescued young male fawn was brought in.  Lonnie agreed to foster the little creature, which we named Rosebud, and it wasn't long before the little guy integrated into the house.  At that time, I was about five years old, and of a morning I liked having a piece of toast for breakfast.  It was not uncommon for Rosebud to jump on my back and steal my toast either, which provided a lot of amusement for my family.  However, the oddest thing about little Rosebud was his favorite food - that crazy little buck loved deer steak!   I won't debate the moral stipulations as to whether or not he should have been even allowed to eat it, but it was definitely something different!

On another occasion, one of Lonnie's co-workers who was a local game warden named Roger got to be good friends with the family, and during deer season it was not uncommon for game wardens to confiscate deer carcasses from hunters who had exceeded their limits.  Fortunately - and a very good virtue of my home state of West Virginia - when a deer carcass was confiscated, the local game wardens had the discretion of donating it to a family in need.  In my step-grandfather's case, he and my grandmother were always struggling in those days;  they lived in a house with only water drawn from a well on the back porch, as well as having no indoor plumbing (the toilet was an outhouse), and all heat and even occasionally cooking was done on a wood stove.  Knowing well the fact that my step-grandfather was not exactly a Rockefeller, Roger the game warden was known to bring a confiscated deer carcass up to Lonnie's and give it to him.  On this particular occasion, Lonnie had been on a successful hunt, and he actually was working on a deer in the basement of the house when Roger drove up.  Roger offered Lonnie the deer, which he gladly accepted, and with the one he had shot himself he was able to have meat for most of the winter.  This type of thing may be frowned upon by some, but to those people I say that maybe they should be in my step-grandfather Lonnie's shoes, and then their tree-hugging utopianism would be rethought quickly!

It is at this point I want to address those people.  First off, although I believe veganism is highly illogical and the facts emerging as medical science makes advances suggests that a totally vegan diet may actually be dangerous, at the same time people like that are free to choose - if they want to gnaw on carrots instead of chicken wings, go for it.   The problem with such people though is that often they tend to try to impose themselves on others and don't want to extend that same courtesy.  Recently, a commercial for Domino's Pizza personified this well.  The gist of the commercial is concerning those types of people - vegan freaks - who want to dictate that others eat salads and they get their way selfishly despite the fact everyone else is miserable.  The actor playing the Domino's guy - who is great, by the way! - tells some rabbit-lady happily munching on a salad to "eat a pizza once in a while!"  At the end of the commercial, he is still taunting the same woman by yelling like a drill sergeant in a gruff voice, "Pizza's good!"  This has been one of my favorite commercials of the year, in part because 1) I hate salads, and 2) I love a good pizza (especially those cracker-thin crust pizzas Domino's has).  But, watching it made me think of how the PETA crowd (if you don't know who those idiots are, they are the extremely radical animal-rights nuts who want to execute people for eating KFC for dinner) tried to impose themselves on our society and culture.  I want to tell some of them "eat a pork chop once in a while!"  Many of these same veggie-nuts also have big issues with hunters too for the same reason - many of them think nothing about aborting a human child in the womb, but God forbid you shoot a buck and enjoy some venison steak.  They are frankly the type of people that need to be locked up in padded cells somewhere because psychosis (probably from using hallucinogenic drugs of some sort) has overtaken them.  I had a little discussion with some of these crazies today as a matter of fact on a social media post where many of them were whining about a picture of a hunter displaying a 47-point buck (impressive!) he bagged.  I had a lot of fun satirizing them and feigning grief over "slaughtering innocent tomatoes and cucumbers" in order to show how stupid they really looked, and of course that generated some hate - oh well, what can you do?  It was fun to razz these types though, because their irrationality is so insane that it is comical.  Do I really care if they eat "innocent" tomatoes and cukes?   Not really - they can eat what they want, as long as they mind their own business about what others like.  My point was to show them how dumb they are, and how this liberal - or, excuse the term "pansy-assed" - junk has done more harm than good for our society.  I think the Domino's commercial gets that same point across too, regardless of the intent of its creators - of course, Domino's is owned by a very solidly Catholic businessman, so I think he has insight to understand how crazy the veggie-lovers can get sometimes.  There is a word of wisdom I heard once in a movie somewhere, and it is this - if God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat.

"Pizza's GOOOOD!!"

Any rate, I got off on a rant and almost rabbit-trailed past the original intent of this article, which was about memories of deer season.  Although it has been some time since I have had a good "mess" of deer steak, I am encouraged when I see people like the Robertsons from Duck Dynasty promote the virtues of responsible hunting, and as all of them have said many times on the show and in their respective books, hunting is a gift from God, and it is utilizing our duty to "take dominion over the earth" and may even be beneficial and wise stewardship over God's creation.   After all, if it wasn't for controlled hunting, populations of animals could get out of hand and that could be potentially an issue.  Besides, if it is not wrong for a lion to ambush a gazelle on the savannahs of Africa for a similar reason, then why are the veggie-nuts attacking their fellow humans for doing exactly the same thing, only with a gun instead of fangs and claws?   Again, the logic of this stuff escapes me, but suffice to say, hunting is not evil, and neither is the consumption of meat.  So, if you like being carnivorous, enjoy. 

That all being said, for those of you who do hunt out there this time of year, please stay safe, and take the precautions to prevent yourself and others from being accidentally shot.  May God bless your hunts, and all I ask is that you keep me in mind as you partake of that delicious backstrap steak, or make venison jerky.  About that, venison jerky is my cousin Buzz's specialty - for years, he has made his the old-fashioned way by coating it in a highly-peppered "cure," and then air-drying it on a clothesline-like apparatus he has over his stove.  Whenever I visit my hometown of Parsons, WV, this time of year, I always look forward to some of Buzz's jerky; he gets a little impatient with it too, as he is eating it by cutting pieces off as it dries (who can blame him though - it is good stuff!).   As we have an anticipated move at the end of this year back up to the area, maybe in a year or two I can get into a little hunting myself and bag my own venison supply.  Until then, I will have to rely on the kind generosity of friends and relatives, or spend a fortune having it mail-ordered.   Happy hunting, and happy holidays, especially to all my family back home who may be undertaking their own hunts this year. 

Some Thoughts on the Election

With a very important election for our nation's highest office coming up in less than one week, there is a lot on my mind about it as I meditate on everything I see on social media, the news outlets, etc.  What occurs to me personally is that this is an important election which has been reduced to a two-ring circus, and what could be at stake is the future of over 200 million people who call the United States home, of which I am one.  That is why I wanted to take a bit of time to address some of this personally.

Facebook and a number of other social outlets have been abuzz with election-related blogs, comments, cartoons, memes, and not a few dogfights among "Web Warriors" at their keyboards.  What really concerns me most though is how fellow Christians have reacted to this election, and that is something I want to address now.

It is a general consensus among thinking and conservative-minded people that the Democratic front-runner, Hillary Clinton, is a reprehensible and crooked old hag that most of us would not want running the maitre d' counter of a hotel bathroom.  Hillary is not the real issue - we all know what she is, and she even looks like a nasty, unpleasant person.  The person I wish to focus on here is her Republican challenger, billionaire entrepreneur Donald Trump.

Trump already has it all - he has a wealth that the majority of us could not even fathom, he is fairly well-known in the media, and you don't have to waste time on a lot of biographical background to know a lot about him.  However, the other side of Trump is what is of concern - despite his status, he has the manners of a horny badger, and his personality is not really much better than Hillary's.  Considering his sudden interest in the Presidential race, I am wondering also if he is not just doing this because he is a bored rich boy who needs a new hobby, and if he would even take the office seriously if elected.  In years past before he wanted to chase his bucket-list fantasy of running for office, Trump was also a huge supporter of things such as Planned Parenthood and research in transhumanism and eugenics, yet to hear him talk you'd think he was a pro-life saint now.  Being we Americans have short-term memory to a fault, we also forget that Trump was at one times close friends with the Clintons and other liberal Democrats, and no doubt Trump's monumental fortune has funded a lot of Democratic campaigns over the years.  Yet, as mentioned, we have short-term memories which make the rest of the world look at us (rightly) as a bunch of idiots.   And, of all people, conservative Christians have gotten into this and have supported someone that doesn't share their own convictions, and that is troubling.  Let us talk about that a moment, shall we?

I am a committed Christian myself, and have many like-minded friends.  Many of them have bought first-class tickets on the "Trump Train" and think now he is the greatest thing since sliced Wonder Bread.  Yet, here is their issue - many professing Christians cruising away on the "Trump Train" have resorted to the most un-Christian of attacks in regard to people who don't agree with them, including other conservative Christians like myself who support more qualified third-party candidates.  I have heard Christians so flippantly "revoke" the salvation of others for disagreeing with them (this is a common tactic among some Evangelicals, including a couple of my own family members I am sorry to say) and even are saying that to oppose Trump is somehow "demonic."   It is really of interest to me, because I have yet to read in the Bible or in official Church teaching that any of this is valid.  This is going to lead to a couple of other points I want to address.

One common contention that the "Trump Train" travelers have to those of us who are independent and vote third-party is this - by voting third-party, you somehow are "empowering the enemy."  To be honest, I have heard that ridiculous argument for years ad nauseum, and it is symptomatic of a greater ignorance within American culture which is far too evident but rarely addressed - many labor under the delusion that only candidates of the two major parties - Republican and Democrat - matter, and that third-party candidates don't even deserve to be heard.  This is so wrong on so many levels.  First, by telling people that, a person is in essence trying to bully people into voting like them, and that is ethically suspect.  Every person is given a right to vote their conscience, and in my case I have done that for almost every election save two - in 1996 I didn't vote at all, because the Republicans put up one of the most spineless, ineffectual candidates in Bob Dole, which pretty much handed Clinton the White House unopposed for a second term.  Then, in the last election (2012), I actually voted for the first and only time in my adult life for a person I really didn't support - Mitt Romney.   That was a wasted vote - he was the Republican front-runner, and I should have done more research then into third-party candidates I liked better but did not.  However, I was starting to actually believe the groupthink that only a major-party candidate was worth voting for, and we saw where that got us - four more years of Obama's White House.  I want to now say to you that if you are perhaps a member of a third party and want to vote your conscience, you should do so - it is your Constitutional right to do so, and no one has any grounds to influence or bully you to vote for someone you don't want to vote for.   I have gotten to the point that I have told some of my friends who bought into the Trump-mania to bug off and leave me alone, and if they want to vote for Trump, more power to them.  I am not trying to influence their votes, so they need to get out of my business.  I will exercise my Constitutional right my way, and you do it your way.

Another issue I have is with people who think Trump is "on the level," and those people are sadly ignorant of how politics work.  Trump is tapping into a legitimate dissatisfaction with many over the past eight years of that despot Obama, and what he is doing is telling people what they want to hear to get their votes, and apparently he is being effective at that deception.  What boggles my mind about all this however is how an inexperienced hack like Trump got the Republican ticket when they had many more qualified candidates running - Marco Rubio, Bobby Jindal, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Michelle Bachmann, etc.  I would have voted for any one of those people had they gotten the nomination, and it makes me think America is in deeper trouble than I originally thought because it is as if the Republicans want to hand the White House to Hillary by running a person like Trump as their candidate - have they completely lost their minds???  This is why a serious election - much is at stake in this one - has degenerated into a sideshow of a circus.  Of course, Trump is par for the course for the "Establishment" Republicans in recent years - just look back at the 2014 elections for Congress as an example.  Any of you remember that Senator from Iowa, Joni Ernst, saying she was "going to make them squeal" in the White House?  Yeah, that sure happened didn't it?   All I hear from Joni Ernst these days is the sound of crickets chirping - she tickled the ears of the voters, got her seat in Congress, and then sat on her butt and did nothing while Obama went plumb-crazy the past couple of years.  She and so many others - I choose her because she is a huge disappointment for me.

I just wanted to share these thoughts of my own frustrations, and as St. Thomas Aquinas in his teachings affirms to us, as articulated by Germain Grisez in his online book Christian Moral Principles, in voluntarily acting for human good(s) and avoiding what is opposed to them, one ought to choose and otherwise will those and only those possibilities whose willing is compatible with a will toward integral human fulfillment.  What that means is that we have a moral obligation, under God-created natural law, to seek a "greater good," and when it comes to this election, we should ask ourselves, "who is the greater good?" rather than settling for the "lesser evil."  The problem with so many is just that - instead of looking for greater good, they settle for "lesser evil."  The end result of that will never actually be good either - choosing the "lesser evil" leads to deeper evil.  So, for those who want to settle for Trump as the "lesser evil," let me tell you something - there are greater goods out there if you know how to look for them and take them seriously, and maybe it is you who sells yourself short by failing to realize it.   You talk much about how a vote for a third party candidate is "a vote for Hillary," but if you are supporting Trump, nine chances out of ten it may be you who is empowering the enemy.   Trump was set up by powers-that-be to empower Hillary, and no matter his popular support, there is a potential for danger there.  We as Christians need to have more God-given sense than that especially, and it is time we wake up.  Thank you.  

The Laid-Back Landscaper

Carlton Enfinger (1929-2016)

In my weekly search of obituaries, I was saddened to come across this one of a very familiar character from my early college years.  Although not a professor (not even close actually!) he had his own impact on many students at the old campus in Graceville, FL, back in the day, and I wanted to just spend a little time telling my story of knowing him.

In the early 1990's at what was then known as Florida Baptist Theological College in Graceville, I was a young kid in my early 20's, fresh out of high school.  In my first couple of years at FBTC, I managed to get a part-time job working on the campus with the maintenance department - my job was not glamorous at the time, as it simply involved walking around with a bag and a stick cleaning up garbage on the campus a couple of hours a day.  As I lived in the dorms then, I had no living expenses so to speak, so this modest income kept me taken care of during those years.  If you would wander the campus in those days, often you would stumble across an elderly guy who would be sort of hanging out in a grove of trees or a thicket of shrubbery somewhere out of the way.  He was actually the campus landscaper, and he had the duty of keeping up the lawns, the shrubbery, and the flowerbeds.  Although he actually looked "lazy," he really wasn't - he worked as hard as anyone, but he did so at his own pace, and at his age no one really argued with him about it either!  That old fellow was Carlton Enfinger, and he was sort of a campus fixture at that place for over 25 years of his life.  Let me give you a little biographical information about him I gleaned from his obituary, and then I want to talk more about how I actually got to know and respect him.

Although he lived in Graceville most of his life, Carlton was born actually about a dozen miles or so away in the neighboring town of Bonifay to the west.   He was, for all intents, a native "Florida Cracker," and he loved his home.   Although the obituary at the local James and Lipford Funeral Home in Graceville lists him as a retired custodian, his actual job was landscaping around the campus.  He was happily married to his dear wife Marilyn for I don't know how many years, but he must have been married at least 60 or more to her.  Although he had retired some years ago from the college as their landscaper, Carlton still seemed to have a pretty decent life up until his repose this past Sunday.  

Not long after I came to school at FBTC in 1989,  I was able to get work as part of the campus maintenance crew on the "Work-Study" program, and often as I made my rounds, I would run into Carlton doing his thing and we'd chat a bit.  After some time, I got to know him pretty well, and having the daily chat with him of a day turned out to be something I looked forward to, as he was a fount of historical information about Graceville and the surrounding areas - if you needed to know anything about anyone locally, Carlton was the guy to ask!  He and his wife Marilyn also grew turkey figs on their property, and she would can those.  One day Carlton brought me a container of those figs, and I recall making an Assyrian-type pastry out of them with biscuit dough, and they were actually delicious!  

The last time I saw Carlton was back in 1992, after I had left FBTC for good and was preparing to transfer to Southeastern University in Lakeland, where I would eventually get my Bachelor's degree in 1996.  At the time, Barbara and I were newly-married, and we were visiting an old-fashioned Holiness/Pentecostal church in Graceville called Graceville Community Church, which had recently renovated its campgrounds and sanctuary after sustaining extensive damage from a fire a couple of years earlier.  Although at least professing to be Baptist, I was actually pleasantly surprised to see old Carlton and his wife there, and it was good to see him.  I don't recall if he had retired then or what the story was, but apparently after some time he had started going to Graceville Community.   In recent years it looks like he attended Harmony Baptist in Graceville (also called "The Mission," where my old boss on the maintenance crew, Raymond O'Quinn, pastored), as it is listed in the obit as where his membership was at the time of his repose. 

In summation of all this, Carlton was just a good guy - he had a sense of humor, was very easy-going, and you couldn't help but love the guy once you got to know him.  He will be missed by so many of us who often took him for granted as a permanent fixture around the campus, and as his family and loved ones say farewell to him today at his funeral in Graceville, I do likewise in spirit too - rest eternal, Carlton.