Dissertation Update

 As I proceed with my doctoral program, I am in my last class now of the dissertation phase.  If all goes well, I will defend during the summer at some point, and will officially be a Ph.D.  At this point, I am in the process of revisions of chapters per the professor's recommendations, and that is going smoothly.  But, there are details worth mentioning, as I do have a somewhat unique topic. 

I haven't delved into the topic itself in detail, as there are a couple of reasons why.  First off, I don't want to have to explain to some well-meaning but nosey older friends of mine what anything is.  A big pet peeve I have is when someone like that wants to know what is on every inch of a homemade pizza, as if I have the time to delve into that.  As I said, I don't think they are ill-intentioned or anything, but it does sort of rub me the wrong way on many of those issues.  Secondly, the complexity of the topic is such that it would almost take five pages to try to explain it all to everyone who would ask.  This is really true of any dissertation in all honesty, regardless of authorship.  Someone who has not actually done doctoral-level research at times doesn't grasp that - they are looking for a Reader's Digest synopsis of a topic that is more detailed than a paragraph or short answer can provide.  It isn't their fault, and it doesn't reflect on their personal intelligence at all, but it is just territory they have not ventured into and thus they may not fully understand what is entailed in the process.  This is true of any type of work in all honesty - a brain surgeon cannot give short answers of what he does, and an electrician cannot do that either.  There is procedure, rubric, and vocabulary unique to each one of those fields, and not everyone is as familiar with it.  So, if you are one of those well-meaning people who has to ask "what is your dissertation about?" I would say don't - and for someone compiling research for a dissertation, it works the other way too. Do not expect everyone to have the levels of knowledge and interest in a topic that you do, because it can make you come off elitist.  It is best to not try to "toot your own horn" and give a discourse on a topic that many don't know or even care about.  I think if more doctoral candidates understood this, the level of hubris could be reduced dramatically. 

For the sake of satisfying curiosity though, the topic of my research is ideological streams that shaped National Socialism.  I have essentially focused on four areas - occultic societies, eugenics, the political movements that contributed to the evolution of National Socialism, and the philosophical movements and figures that contributed to its narrative.  In doing so, I have decided to go with Brian Walsh's and Richard Middleton's model they used in A Transforming Vision which is called Central Narrative Convictions, or CNCs.  Additionally, I have appealed to the field of Personalist philosophy to attempt to delineate what is unique to National Socialism versus what it assimilated from earlier movements (the communicable vs. incommunicable discussion).  The idea of a doctoral dissertation is that it should be a culmination of all of one's learning over the course of their academic career, and in doing so it means pulling from other disciplines to create a thesis.  While National Socialism was a very evil movement, it does share in common with any other group or movement one thing - it has a "story" that animates its agenda, and in doing so the story is built upon CNCs - questions such as "who are we?", "where are we?", "what's wrong?", and "what's the remedy?"   Any movement - good or evil - draws upon these CNCs to create its narrative, and in the case of political ideologies, this means essentially turning the narrative into a platform, and then into policy if such a movement achieves power in a nation.  This formula is called NPP, and it is integral to how a group forms as well as how it evolves.  Nazis had this process as well, as they didn't appear out of a vacuum either.  And, that leads to a couple of issues I have had to address during the whole course of composing this dissertation. 

Nazism is an evil ideology, and in general it is looked at critically as it should be.  The problem though is that having a critical approach to an evil ideology like Nazism can take for granted that it was not just the ramblings of a few mentally unbalanced psychopaths. While some participants in this movement certainly were psychopaths (Hitler definitely was), there were also ideologues who were constructing a system of thought which led to Hitler and his party coming to power.  I had a professor early in the dissertation process (this was not my Research Director, but another instructor) who basically was dismissive of the Nazis having an organized ideology.  I understand why he was, and in principle I would actually sympathize with him on this. However, the problem was that he didn't think Nazism was a coherent (albeit evil) ideology, and he actually said as much.  I don't know if that is a way of an instructor gauging how serious a student is about their topic or not, but the dismissive aspect of his attitude was not something you would expect from scholarly inquiry.  In a way though, encountering this is sort of a proofing ground for the formal defense of the dissertation later, as part of the reason why it is called a "defense" is that it does compel the author of the dissertation to be able to explain his or her position on the topic, and thus questions should be anticipated as it helps prepare the defense better.  If you are fortunate enough to get a defense scheduled, it means that you are being recognized as an expert on that topic, and thus there is an expectation to know the substance of what you are presenting.  Naturally, after spending a year or more drafting approximately 300 pages of material, as well as reading over it, revising and editing, as well as the research behind doing it all, one should have at least a casual familiarity with their topic. The formal defense is a way for the doctoral candidate to display that. My own dissertation took approximately one year thus far to construct, and I am currently in the revision phase of it now.  In a couple of months, I will possibly be scheduled to defend, and after that a few last-minute edits will make the dissertation ready to present to the university library.  At that point, one can call themselves "Doctor."  If all goes well for me, I will have that distinction by mid-September at the latest. 

So, one question that will inevitably be asked of me is how and why I chose this topic?  To be honest, I have been interested in World War II history since I was a kid and have read extensively on many aspects of it over the years.  At the age of 9, as a matter of fact, I was reading Robert G.L. Waite's psychological history of Adolf Hitler entitled Adolf Hitler: The Psychopathic God which was originally published when I was 6 years old in 1975.  At age 13, I got a copy of William L. Shirer's The Nightmare Years, which was published in 1983 and was a prequel to his better-known work, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, published some 14 years later.  I have also watched dozens of documentaries on the topic, and those have stimulated my interest as well.  Therefore, doing this as the capstone of my whole academic career is a natural choice.  So, what do I hope to do with this after I have the degree and the dissertation becomes published?  Let me now talk about that briefly.

My dissertation on this topic is the academic dimension to my actual work I want to do with this.  There is a bigger reason why Nazism and its "story" are crucial, as many of the ills we see in society now have the same roots in many cases.  That case was made by authors such as Jonah Goldberg, who actually delved into that in his book Liberal Fascism, and less-scholarly but equally significant sources such as Joseph Carr's 1983 book The Twisted Cross and Kevin Abrams' and Scott Lively's 1995 book The Pink Swastika dealt with occultism and homosexuality respectively being part of the Nazi legacy.  While those sources would not be considered "peer-reviewed" by academic standards, they are significant in that they do ask the questions that need to be asked and also challenge academic scholarship to look into the connections more. I had some difference of opinion with my own Research Director when I chose to use such material, but after he saw what I was doing and where I was going with it, he understood and said that essentially it was an important tool as long as I didn't rely on it for the main body of research.  Oftentimes, more popular and/or "conspiratorial" literature, while somewhat editorialized and with a certain view to get across, does provide a rich reservoir of primary source material for research.  Also, the fact that these popular works are well-known and widely read also suggests that they are raising important issues and perhaps they should be taken with some degree of serious interest. Additionally, if one takes the academic research after the doctorate has been conferred and utilizes it for a more focused purpose, that means the research done was productive and thus will maybe stimulate discussion.  Let me go into that briefly in my case. 

If you intend to be a commentator on things such as the book of Genesis in the Bible, social issues such as abortion, transhumanism, and the LGBT agenda, and Darwinian evolution, then knowing what animated Nazism and led to its rise to power is integral to the process.  Many of those big social issues today were also issues that created the Nazis, and the American political Left does share a lot of ominous similarities to the Nazis and the movements they sprang from.  You also begin to see the Nazis in a different light - while the Establishment tries to discredit Christians and political conservatives by lumping Nazis in with the "right-wing," the evidence shows that the Nazis were in reality more left-leaning than right-wing.  As a matter of fact, the Nazis could not even technically be called "conservative" because they were often at odds with who the actual conservatives were at that time in Germany - the actual conservatives were the Monarchists, and in Austria the Monarchists were also very influenced by Catholic spirituality and faith, and not the occultic/mythological worldview that the Nazis and their Volkisch predecessors held to. And, many prominent early Nazis even identified a socialists, hence the name "National Socialist Party."  Looking at movements such as BLM, Antifa, and the campus riots going on in support of terrorists like Hamas today, the similarities between them and the earliest Nazis are eerie.  Now, even overt antisemitism has become a tenet of "leftist woke" protesters today, and that should cause us to have red flags raised.  Educating others about this complex topic is integral, and it is the reason I chose the topic for my dissertation.  In future posts, I want to begin maybe delving into all that from a less-scholastic perspective, as I feel it will bring valuable insight into current discussions.

Any rate, that is my update on the dissertation process.  Very soon, I will have the privelege of having the title "Dr." in front of my name, and it also means that a "career" of almost 50 years as a student off and on will finally be completed.  If you are a fellow person of faith, I covet your prayers as I tackle this home stretch, and thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance.  Have a good remainder of your week, and will see you next time. 

Refocusing as Therapy

 

I wanted to write something a bit more positive, as the past few visits have been somewhat emotive.  It is just that as I am writing this even now a lot of stuff is going on in my life, much of which I don’t have any plausible solution for.  So, writing in many ways is an encouragement.  And it is also why today I wanted to write this, as it touches upon another issue related to my own experience.

In his book, Leisure: The Basis of Culture, Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper makes the case that leisure is integral to the human experience.  By “leisure,” Pieper is not speaking of the cardinal vice of sloth – in reality, the contrary is true.  Recently, when I was facing a huge issue that almost cost me my home, I learned an important lesson about this which I believe is also a point Pieper is trying to communicate to his readers.  The realization I had was that I needed to stay focused on the task and not let circumstances paralyze me.  For instance, I have a dissertation to finish, and am in the final revisions of the manuscript before being scheduled to defend it later in the summer.  Therefore, being focused on the bigger picture and not letting present trials derail me is essential.  I also am responsible for the upkeep of my home – I have a menagerie of pets to care for, a lawn to keep mowed, etc.  Last week, when I was really feeling some emotional duress over a circumstance which has been beleaguering me for months, I decided to stick to routine and mow my grass.  Now, mowing is not one of my favorite chores by a longshot – it exerts a lot of effort to even mow a small yard like mine is. And, as a younger man, I used to be a professional landscaper and worked at a retirement park in Florida where I had to mow in excess of 60 lawns a week, but at 54 now I am not quite in the same shape I was in when I was 23.  However, when I was mowing my grass last week, it actually felt therapeutic to me, and although I was physically exerted from the task, I felt better inside. I get the same feeling as I work on my dissertation now too – there is a satisfaction one gets from accomplishing something.  And, that is what I wanted to write about this week, as it sort of is a bit of a life lesson for me that I feel should be shared.

“Work” is a word that is often treated on the same level as the F-bomb by so many people.  The thought of investing work and labor into something is often exhausting in itself.  If you remember the old Dobie Gillis sitcom for instance, you will recall Bob Denver’s wacky beatnik character Maynard G. Krebs yelping in distress when the word was mentioned, and it made for a hilarious story line in that show.  The thought of having to work evokes things – we don’t want our body to be strained or pained from the labor, we don’t have the patience to work toward the result because we are interested in the final product rather than the process, and our concupiscent nature is rather resistant to work.  But, in all honesty, work is actually good for us.  In Genesis 3:19, as a result of the Fall, God decreed to Adam that “by the sweat of your brow you will eat.”  This is traditionally understood to be a curse, but is it really?  You have also heard the old adage “idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” right?  It goes along with this passage in Scripture and gives us a new perspective on work.  Rather than a curse, work should be seen as a protection for us – imagine in this world if you didn’t have focus and standards, things would be boring.  Sure, there are mundane, unsavory, and other aspects of work that we don’t necessarily enjoy, but again, it is the end result – we are rewarded.  Also, think about what no work would do – our minds and spirits have to be stimulated, and if nothing does that, then our proclivities to create and have activity will not be channeled properly and the result is that we end up in trouble.  Bored people end up in several unfavorable situations – they can get sick from inactivity, they begin to do naughty things due to boredom, and they will ultimately become a burden upon their own society. As much as we fantasize about sleeping in until noon on a lazy Saturday, or lounging on a beautiful beach in a hammock, these are but temporary pleasures.  After a while, we have to do something.  Proper rest is essential, but excessive inactivity is not.  Oddly, there are times actually when in work we may actually find rest!  Let’s unpack that paradox a bit.

One of the things Pieper talks about in his book is something called Acedia.  Pieper defines this term in his book as “despair from weakness” on page 44, and what he means by this is quite simple. Acedia is an enslaving condition in which man obsesses over something, and it does not necessarily as it has been interpreted mean that one is aggressively seeking career goals over anything else (although it can mean that too).  The feeling of being overwhelmed by a problem and obsessing over it to the point it paralyzes your own daily life is really what acedia is, and in that regard it is a type of slavery as well as a form of idolatry.  Sitting and obsessing over a problem doesn’t solve the problem – if it is out of your control, you need to do two things.  First, a trust in God is essential.  This is not as easy as it sounds, as over the years I have gotten into some one-sided battles with God over situations I felt powerless against, and it is a human thing to do that in all honesty. Trusting in God is a daily effort, and it doesn’t come overnight.  But, you know you are on the right track when despite the circumstance, there is something deep inside you that just says “it’s gonna be OK.”  That feeling is one we should take seriously, as it could be divine direction.   Secondly, one mustn’t lose focus. This means that despite circumstances, one must keep up with their tasks at hand and not let fear or despair paralyze them.  This is why even mowing the grass is technically a form of rest, as one is focusing on the task at hand rather than the circumstance they are facing.  And, speaking from experience, it does help tremendously.  Work, in this case, may be our saving grace rather than a curse.  The strength God has given men in particular is being able to not let adversity control one’s life, and even in the face of overwhelming odds, you keep looking ahead and focused on your life responsibilities and routine tasks.  Some would call this self-discipline, and it could be that I suppose.  However, there is more to it than that.  It is in many ways also a type of spiritual warfare.  When the enemy is trying to derail you with adversity, your persistence in maintaining order and discipline in life is a lethal weapon.  It is telling Satan that you don’t have time to waste on his tricks and deceptions, as there are more important things to do.  And, that is another aspect of this discussion.

Having come out of the Pentecostal tradition, the topic of spiritual warfare was a common theme in sermons, televangelist rants, and reading material.  This is one reason why Frank Peretti became a very successful Christian author, as many of his books dealt with that specific topic.  Many Bible passages are used in relation to spiritual warfare – Ephesians 6 comes to mind, as does James 4:7.  This second passage is one I want to talk about in relation to this topic.  When studying this verse, it has two components to it:

1.      Submission to God

2.      Resisting the devil

Notice that these are connected to each other.  By submitting to the will of God, often that is resistance to the devil.  But, there is more to it than that too.  Submission to God means we do what God guided us in Scripture to do, and being diligent in our work is a huge part of that.  If we manage to do that, then God will make sure we are focused on him and not on the enemy, and thus the enemy is resisted by that mere action.  So, when Satan tries to make you feel depressed because you cannot meet the monthly rent due to a reduction in income, mow the grass.  Mowing the grass, as mundane and routine as it is, in this case does become an instrument of spiritual warfare.  Spiritual warfare then is not just about loudly rebuking evil spirits or performing exorcisms – it has a less mystical and more practical side as well.  If we start maybe viewing meaningful work as a weapon against the enemy, many of us may appreciate it more. 

The same is true of more long-term goals.  Maybe you are pursuing that Ph.D. you always wanted to earn, and God opened up a door to do that.  But, in the course of the four years working on that, you face unemployment, bills piling up, and even opposition from some family members.  Yet, you stay the course and excel in your efforts. When you graduate from your program with that 3.9 GPA, you have won a victory of sorts despite the odds.  And, as a result, the enemy is defeated and the overcoming you experienced out of this whole thing makes the win even more special, as your efforts were worth it.  This is why also you should never give up, despite the circumstances of life.  This too is actually a type of spiritual warfare, as Satan does not want us to succeed nor does he want us to be fulfilled.  Therefore, he throws a lot of garbage at us.  But, when we can dodge the missiles and forge on, we will win in the long run.  Please don’t confuse this with the “blab it and grab it” nonsense of people like Kenneth Copeland either, because it is definitely not the same.  In that type of theology, any adversity is always looked at as “hidden sin” or “lack of faith,” and thus you always have to be farting rainbows to be a true believer in the eyes of characters like Kenneth Copeland.  That is not realistic, nor is it even Biblical.  In many cases, God allows the adversity to strengthen us, and we can view it in that context as a test to see how we overcome those adversities.  Life is not promised to be easy, and you will not always fart rainbows while riding unicorns, despite how many books Joel Osteen sells trying to tell you otherwise.  God often uses adversity – which can come from Satan – to build our personal character, and it can be painful at times for sure.  But, fruit will be produced, and that fruit will be sweet despite the bitterness of adversity.  And, that is why work is a blessing in many instances rather than a curse – work can be a type of salvation (not in the eternal sense that Christ’s Passion represents though) and we may actually be thankful for that one day as well.

This will conclude my thoughts on the issue, and if you are struggling, it is time to utilize true leisure in the sense that Josef Pieper and others write about it and focus your energies on what matters more, not on problems that can cripple you.  In doing the work too, your mind is active, and you may actually get inspiration for a solution to a problem while pushing a lawn mower across your back yard.  Have a good week everyone.

Toxic Relatives and Other Woes

 Family is a bedrock of civilization - without the family, basic social structure is not possible in society.  But, there is a fundamental problem with this.  Not all families are equal, and indeed, there are times when some family members may do more harm than good.  How does one navigate those treacherous waters?  I wanted to talk about that and a few other things today, as it has some very strong relevance to my own life right now. 

I mentioned that prior to a divorce, I was married for 28 years.  One of the biggest issues throughout the course of that marriage (which also was a contributing factor in our divorce) was dealing with certain of my in-laws.  My ex-wife (with whom I am actually still close despite no longer being a married couple) comes from a fairly large family.   She is one of six kids from a large Midwestern family of primarily Polish/German origins. My ex-wife was the youngest of her siblings, and as a result over the years she had an interesting relationship with all of her older siblings.  For me, this was a radically different concept, as I was an only child.  However, I was more than willing to adopt my in-laws as family of my own, but unfortunately a number of them were openly hostile toward me before I even met them.  There are some details I will get into momentarily but let me just say this especially to my younger readers who may have recently gotten married or are contemplating marriage.  In-laws can be a blessing or a curse.  There is a reason for instance why for many years popular TV sitcoms often made as part of their plot lines an almost adversarial relationship between a man or a woman and the mother-in-law: it happens, believe it or not.  But, it is not just with the parents that issues can exist, but even with the siblings of one's spouse, and sometimes that is even more intense.  Growing up, the adversarial in-law dynamic rarely existed in our neck of the woods, as often the people who got married to each other generally had grown up together and therefore everyone knew each of the families.  I have seen mothers-in-law treat their daughter's husbands like their own sons, and it ended up being a beautiful extended family dynamic.  Had I married someone from my own hometown, no doubt that same dynamic would have existed for me too and I would have had a happier marriage and maybe even have been a grandparent and still in love with my spouse today.  But, as life happens, I was one of the people who unfortunately married into a family with a whole different set of values than I grew up with, and as a result almost from day one of my ex-wife's and my marriage, we had issues.  I don't blame my ex for this either - frankly, she was in the awkward situation many times of having to navigate through contrived family drama and I don't envy that at all.  No spouse needs to be put in a position where they are being pulled this way or that by their spouse or their family.  That will ultimately create some serious trust issues, and in time it can drive a couple apart - my ex and I unfortunately experienced that, and we both still have scars from a myriad of inflicted wounds.  Having experienced that, I now want to share some things with you that maybe will be either an encouragement or a bit of direction when you are catching flak from hostile in-laws.  I will begin by telling the story of my own experience in this regard.

As I mentioned, my ex-wife comes from a very large family - her mom and dad brought six kids into the world.  A tragic thing happened when my ex was still relatively young, and that was that her father - whom she really thought a lot of - died as the result of a tragic motorcycle accident.  After this happened, her family just sort of disintegrated.  Two of her older sisters who were already at that point adults ended up going off and making careers in their own respective fields, and while they were very successful at that, it also made them very prideful and they wanted to gain as much power over the rest of their family as was possible.  Their attitudes were such that some of their cousins nicknamed them "The Queens," and they became a very nasty thorn in the flesh for their other siblings and their mother as well.  About 26 years ago, my ex's other sister went through a tragic divorce - the story behind that was very intense and it was sad, and it took years for that particular sister to overcome a lot of the fallout of that.  Now, as for these "Queens," they have a nasty habit of trying to swoop in and take control of things they are not being asked to be involved in, and much like two ravenous vultures circling a rotted wildebeest carcass on the African savannah, these two will resort to actually kicking someone while they are down.  While their other sister was still stinging from what had happened in her life, these two buzzards started essentially attacking her for no good reason, and they even threatened to have her committed to a looney bin.  They gossiped about their own sister to their friends, and they made some very vicious lies and accusations against her that honestly were so sick that it is even hard to imagine the lack of empathy those two possessed.  The sister that was targeted was very hurt and wounded by these other two, and she eventually passed away never resolving the issue.  The two buzzards, on the other hand, never acknowledged their guilt, and they never really had a transformation of their own hearts.  And, those two had another co-conspirator who worked with them, and that was their brother - he at times was as bad, if not worse, than they were.  There is yet another dimension to their behavior which made this more shocking, and I want to talk about that now.

The "Queens" and their brother (I called him the "Golden Boy") have also projected a lot of hostility toward me over the years, and they actually hated me in such a way that it defies logic.  The ironic part of this is that all three of them claim to be Christians, yet in their actions they act more like agents of Satan himself.  All three are always using religious jargon - "Golden Boy" has even adopted a sanctimonious tone when he talks which is frankly nauseating - and they also hate Catholics, and the oldest sister of this trio will jump on any fad that blows through American Evangelicalism and she doesn't manifest the spirit of someone who sincerely follows Christ.  People who know them are turned off by their religious act because most can see through it.  I actually call the oldest one "Pope______ (name withheld for confidentiality compliance)" because she sets herself up as the ultimate religious authority in her family - in all honesty though, she lacks even basic knowledge of both theology and Biblical literacy, and it shows in her attitude.  In all honesty, if I were her - she is approaching her 69th birthday in a couple of months - I would be doing some serious auditing of my life and re-evaluating a few things.  The other "Queen" and the "Golden Boy" are also approaching their mid-60s as well, and they also should maybe rethink a few things.  This false religiosity is something I have seen in people before, and I devoted a whole chapter to it in my recent book. The lingo, the attitudes, and the crass lack of empathy they display are contradictory to anything remotely and genuinely Christian, and it is one reason I will refuse fellowshipping in any way with them.  I don't know if any of you have encountered these types, but if you do, get as far away from them as you can, because they are venomous snakes who will poison your soul if you allow them an open door into your life.  I know this was harsh, but it needed to be said.  These individuals may have their pastors fooled, they may have their friends fooled, but many of their own family see how they really are, and they just do not look that great in the eyes of their own blood relatives, much less their in-laws.  Ultimately though, it is God who will judge them if they don't fix all that, and if they continue on that trajectory, his words to them at the Final Judgment will be harsh - "Depart from me, for I never knew you."  That is a sobering thought which should be something we all keep in mind, and especially as one gets older, pondering that question should be part of the package.  All three of these people actually though hold to this idea of "once saved, always saved," an idea they incorporated from Calvinism and that is in reality bordering on heretical.  Oddly though, for someone they don't like, even if that person is more sincere in their faith than they are, it is easy for them to consign such a person to hell essentially and incorporates a phrase from popular Evangelicalism that means something different than it suggests - the phrase is "I'm praying for your salvation," but what that really means is "I hate your stinking guts."  People like them have a hard time imagining that someone they despise so much could actually be in heaven, because just like on earth, they exclude others who don't share their own sentiments or who they personally dislike.  Thankfully, God is bigger than that and far beyond the prejudices of fake religionists - he loves all and offers salvation to all who accept him. The problem is maybe the bitterness and unforgiveness they tenaciously cling onto in regard to people they personally don't like, and the opposite may be true for them.  Their enemies that they hate and despise may make it to heaven before they do.  The heaven they constructed within their own minds is thankfully not the true place of eternal reward, and thankfully that is the case - heaven would be a lonely place for them if they had the say-so over who gets into it.  And, in all honesty, a "heaven" of their construct is not something I want to be part of anyway - I want the real thing and not the wild utopian nonsense these "arbiters of salvation" carry around in their heads.  The bottom line is that fake Christians like the "Queens" are anything but Christian - if anything, they are in reality unwitting tools of Satan to destroy vulnerable people they cross paths with.   And, that leads to a personal story.

There is no question that the past four years or so have been perhaps some of the most challenging I have faced in my life.  After losing my marriage, my parents, a lot of my sources of income, and so much else, I have frankly taken a beating.  My ex and I though remain close, and she too has gone through some serious storms.  Recently, one of those came into her life, and she attempted to reach out to the "Queens" and the "Golden Boy" to get some help.  Now, family is supposed to be there for you, and judgment and condemnation, especially when one is already dealing with so much, is not warranted and can even cause more harm.  The response she got back from them was one of the most nasty and critical screeds I have ever heard from someone who is supposed to be a blood relative.  The three of them "conferred" to "prayerfully" consider my ex's need, and then they sent this long list of demands to her about needing to do this, and that, and they even tried to drag me into it (and after my divorce, they have no right nor business bothering me) by attacking my character.  Fortunately, another solution was found, and their help was not accepted thank goodness - God never wills for someone to sell their souls to Satan for help. These people seem to revel in the chance to control and manipulate everything in another's life, and they depersonalize even their own blood kin.  It is toxic, destructive, and it violates the dignity of personhood and individuality of another.  It also is cruel in that it really kicks a person while they are down in the first place, and far weaker people who have been attacked in this way (including by them) have been driven to suicide or a mental breakdown. In all honesty, I contemplated initiating a defamation suit against these three for their attitudes, and to be honest, that may be an option. While often it is a better option to be the "bigger person," there comes a point where an attacker will overstep boundaries and a lesson for them is merited.  So, I told my ex flat-out that if my name was brought up in a defamatory way again, I would plan on pursuing a legal injunction against them to shut them up once and for all.  Altruism is good in some cases, but there comes a point with certain individuals where the altruistic approach no longer is feasible - a more strident course of action to let the bullies know they can't do what they are doing any more needs to be implemented to give them a life lesson.  I am hoping it does not come to anything like that, but I am to the point where I am just sick and tired personally of putting up with bull guano from people like this, and I am ready to make my own stand against it. We will see what happens. 

Many people who attack others based on their own issues don't understand the experiences of the targets of their attacks.  They resort to personal defamation, accusations, and even gossip to justify their own bloodlust against their enemies.  I dealt with this a couple of weeks back in my mini-lesson about bearing false witness, and what my former in-laws have done is a classic case of this sin.  They don't know anything about me, nor have they attempted to get to know me over the years, yet they resort to these nasty attacks and faulty judgments to condemn me.  I have been through too much, and have also accomplished a lot, and to be honest their vitriol means nothing to me and nor should it.  But, when you are already facing other issues in your life, the last thing one needs is a bunch of micromanaging, venomous human buzzards trying to pick you apart when you are trying to recover from other adversities.  It means that the individuals engaged in such behavior lack empathy, grace, and even love for anyone outside themselves and their elite circle of groupthink.  In this case, my former in-laws were blessed with a pretty good life - they don't know the struggles others face, and they frankly don't care unless it means a tax write-off for them or something.  People like that can never be true servants, and in all honesty it also makes whatever Christianity they claim to have very sterile and weak on compassion but extremely heavy on judgment and self-righteousness.  If many of them were put into the same situations I have had to encounter over the years, they would not be able to survive.  They lack character also, because character is built through being able to overcome adversity and challenges in life.  I am - in a correct way - proud of where I came from, how I overcame many obstacles to get to where I am now, and what I have accomplished.  I have to remember and remind myself that we will always have enemies - not everyone will love us, and there is always someone out there ready to attack whether they have valid reasons or not.  The thing is, we cannot let our enemies destroy us like they want to, and we press on despite their venom and we overcome them too.  My former in-laws are my enemies - they have declared themselves as such, and they circle like the buzzards they are to try to pick me apart when they see an opportunity to attack any vulnerability. But, the best way to shield the vulnerability is to do as I have talked about over the past couple of weeks - recollection and self-assessment, as well as staying the course even when things get overwhelming.  We don't give our enemies an open door, and we don't let them dictate to us our own success or anything else.  Again, as a preacher said years ago and I fully live by, "our present position does not dictate our future potential."  May those be words to live by.

Thank you for allowing me to share again this week, and will see you next time! 

Addressing Privilege and Falling Through Cracks

 I am writing this in a very frustrated mood today - I have been facing a serious issue that I seem to be hitting dead ends with, and to be honest it is tiring me out.  Going through this though has made me think about some things, and I have a few thoughts to share today. This post will be a little different, and could be unpredictable, so please bear with me as I sort through my thoughts and organize them coherently.

Today, the culture of "wokeness" that pervades society has an awful lot to say about something called "White privilege," and it merits attention.  What is "White privilege" anyway?  It seems no one has a clear definition of what it is other than just "White people are evil, racist, and they have privilege," and that is it.  When I hear someone go off on that (and in 99.9% of the cases, the rant comes from a fairly well-off White liberal) I start thinking back to my childhood.  I grew up in a small, poor West Virginia town, and my parents divorced when I was very young and I was raised by a single mother.  When we weren't shuffling back and forth between relatives (one year, I believe I went to four schools in one year), we lived in a town which was made up of many people just like us but some were in worse circumstances than I was.  Although the tiny town I lived in was 100% White, none of us were rich tycoons by any stretch.  Many of the kids in town had alcoholic parents, many were abused, some of them had emotional and social issues that hindered their progress in school and even in jobs later, and there were many of us kids who had nights where our dinner was either a bag of potato chips (if we were lucky!) or at one point for me even having to raid the neighbor's gardens to get fresh corn, green tomatoes, cabbage, and other vegetables just to eat that day.  On some nights, dinners consisted of just fried cabbage or potatoes and drop biscuits I learned to make at a young age. This was the days before the internet too, and in my own house all the entertainment I had was a radio, and the Sunday night program of vintage big band music on WBT-AM out of Charlotte, NC, was a major event.  And, I read a lot - there was nothing better to do, but I had access to books at least.  Late, when life got a little better, some of the neighborhood kids I was friends with would come over and we would play Yahtzee or Uno in my room while eating fried chicken nuggets and listening to my modest but nice record collection I was amassing from the local junk store in the nearby town of Rio.  Life was simple, but we made it work, but it was not in any way "privileged" at all for any of us.  

I did decently in school, and over the years getting involved in church and playing in my high school band was my social life, and eventually I did graduate and went off to college.  In the ensuing 30 or so years after, I earned three degrees, one vocational certificate as a paralegal, and a postgraduate certificate at the halfway point of my doctoral program.  Yet, I faced issues over the years too - despite having over 26 years of work experience and a very decent education I worked hard to get, I find myself still being passed over for jobs I should be perfect for, and that flusters me.  My question to the idiots who cry about "White privilege" all the time is this - if I am so damned "privileged," then why am I not getting opportunities I earned??  Even at brief times when I have had to resort to public assistance, I was told I "made too much income" (despite the fact I wasn't pulling in anything at that point) to qualify for help - where is my so-called "privilege" there??  After a while, I began taking note of some things, and a few observations came to mind I will get into now.

Does an "American Dream" really exist, and if so, who can achieve it?  I was reading on a site called Qora several threads on the topic of individuals who moved away from the US.  Many of them were middle-aged men, and there are several things that were recurring in each of their conversations that got my attention.

1. The over-regulation and over-taxation of everything - you cannot even pass gas in some places unless you have a permit to do so. Then you get charged an exorbitant amount for the permits. 

2.  The lack of work - many of these individuals are highly qualified and represent a large diversity of backgrounds ranging from blue-collar professionals to Ph.Ds. Yet. they get passed over for jobs they should be a perfect fit for.  You meet one educational or occupational hurdle and are still told it isn't enough. 

3. Ridiculous cost of living - Many of these individuals correctly pointed out that they are essentially being priced out of existence where they live.  People with $40K/year salaries are living hand-to-mouth. 

4. Lack of safety - many individuals in these discussions lament (rightly) that they cannot even go to a gas station without the risk of being mugged or murdered.

5. Lack of community - another complaint that came up is how many of us don't even know who our neighbors are, and how disconnected many families even are these days.

These are just five things I observed, but there were probably even more as I didn't have a chance to read every discussion post on the topic.  But, these five are enough - some Americans are starting to see that there is a more reasonable cost of living, and that their skills and talents are more appreciated elsewhere.  The COL (cost of living) ratio to the GAI (gross annual income) of many people are making it impossible to meet basic needs for many Americans, and with rich Democrats in power, it is getting worse.  While American citizens are forced to pay a lot of exorbitant costs for even basic necessities, the bureaucrats in many communities in the US are rolling out the red carpet for illegal aliens to come in totally unvetted.  I have to show an ID to just get Sterno for my fondue, but an illegal alien gets a luxury hotel, a $5000 debit card, and a bunch of other perks that hard-working Americans are paying through the nose for while they struggle with the choice to either keep a roof over their heads or eat dinner that night.  And, as I mentioned the other day about student loan forgiveness, both major parties are clueless as to what that even means - the Democrats want to extend that to everyone, while the Republicans often want to deny it to everyone.  Again, here is a thought - why not give it to those who actually need it, and maybe hit the universities with tuition caps so they don't charge an exorbitant amount for degrees??  Also, if students really work their butts off studying for those degrees, why aren't they rewarded with career opportunities after they graduate??  If that were the case, student loan debt would not be an issue, would it?  However, the state of both education and Corporate America is such that even if someone achieves a milestone, they want more, and more, and more...is all that extra nonsense even necessary for most jobs?? If we took care of those pivotal issues that many college graduates and mid-career professionals complain about, perhaps it would solve the problem.  And, that leads to another serious issue I have grown somewhat vocal about recently.

Part of this fictional "American Dream" should be property ownership.  Yet, a majority of people cannot afford to buy a house, and need to rent their homes - I am one of those.  Yet, in some states, such as Maryland, the state and local governments are disproportionately manned by rich realtors who don't understand what it is to have to rent a home just to have a roof over their heads.  Because of that, rich realtors tend to favor unlimited rent ceilings that make it almost impossible for many people to keep their homes.  This is an area which self-designated "conservative Republicans" fail in miserably, as they tend to favor rich realtors over struggling families, so they are against what are called "rent caps."  A "rent cap" sets a limit as to how much a landlord can increase rent costs on a tenant, and unfortunately here in Maryland many localities don't have caps so the rents can be extremely expensive.  That has been an issue I have personally experienced over the past couple of years, and frankly, it is a stress I don't need personally.  There are ways to bring this COL down to a more manageable level, and I think the key to that is broadening representation in local and state governments to include people who are affected by these things. 

In short, I am disappointed in our country - we have failed in so many ways and now I am even entertaining maybe moving to a more affordable place and getting the hell out of here.  I am a native son of America, and I love what it used to be, but in all honesty what it is becoming sickens me.  Maybe it is time to dissolve the union as it is and maybe start over with a smaller nation with far less bureaucracy.  It is one reason why I am also a Monarchist as well as paying attention to bioregional theories such as Joel Garreau's Nine Nations of North America.  The "Empire" is failing because it was never meant to be an empire to begin with - only permanent restructuring and change will reverse that.  Thank you for allowing me to share this week. 

Addressing Social Ills

 I have been more prolific in my writing this week than I usually am, and that is because I have been reflecting on a lot. A couple of days ago, I was at the supermarket, and after doing my shopping and leaving the store, I noticed a young man sitting just adjacent to the exit on the ground.  He had what looked like all his belongings piled next to him, and the boy looked as if he was either in his late teens or early 20s.  We all see the panhandlers and people with signs at shopping centers and on street corners - many of them we just casually ignore, as there are a fair amount of scammers who are doing this as a career choice and not because of any urgent need.  This kid, however, was different - he did not look as if he deserved to be there.  He had a very intelligent face, and a smile despite his situation, and to be honest the image of him I had in my mind really struck at the center of my soul - I actually felt really bad for that poor kid.  He didn't belong there and was more than likely forced because of circumstances beyond his control.  And, he was just too young to be like that, which really pierced my soul.  Due to my own situation (I have a lot of struggles myself right now I won't get into) I was unable to help him in any way, but I could do one thing - pray for him.  And, I really hope that young man does get a break, because I believe he deserves it.  I don't know his name, and may not ever see him again, but I do pray the best for him.  And, seeing that got my thoughts going as to a few things that have been on my mind for a long time. 

I am both a fiscal and social conservative, and a very strong one at that.  And, while I do share many things with the conservative Republicans, I cannot be a Republican by choice because I don't believe that political party is as conservative as many think it is.  Politically, I am actually a Monarchist, and would welcome an heir to the Hapsburgs or something being coronated as king of our nation, similar in many respects to the fictional scenario my good friend Charles Coloumbe created in his insightful book Star Spangled Crown.  There are many issues I significantly differ with Republican talking points on, and I want to address a few of those now.  However, in all fairness, I think the average conservative Republican voter may actually have more in common with me than with, say, Mitch McConnell or Marjory Taylor-Greene.  Therefore, on a couple of specific issues, I want to address these differences I have with many of our elected officials, in particular those who profess to be politically conservative.

One of the big issues which is front-and-center of political discourse right now is student loan forgiveness.  In all honesty, it is one of the few things the Democrats have that actually would be beneficial to many of us who do have student loans.  The Republican opposition to this has some validity, but also many of the staunchest opponents of it are out of touch with the reality of what an issue this really is for many of us.  Likewise, the Democrats have a good idea in theory, but they go way too far in what they propose to implement.  A middle ground on this is essential.  Having almost $200K in student loan debt myself, this does directly affect me, and what I am noticing on many of the talking points on both sides of this issue is that they miss some important facts.  As a Gen-Xer, we were encouraged to go to college to get an advanced degree, and it was supposed to help our work prospects.  Many of us got those degrees, and then Corporate America told us we still lacked what they wanted and we had to do more education.  So, many did that, and still it wasn't enough.  So, many well-intentioned people woke up one day and realized they had hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans but they were not seeing the fruits of all that effort.  Many of these people are not lazy - it takes a lot of work to earn a degree, and many of us have excelled.  Also, the average student borrower I don't believe is wanting to be an intentional burden on the system - they are just trying to make a better life for themselves, because in the words of the old School House Rock ditty, "knowledge is power," or at least it's supposed to be.   Should these people be denied relief just like they are being passed over for opportunities they are more than qualified for?  I ask the Republicans in particular who oppose student loan forgiveness that question. However, there are legitimate issues with universal student loan forgiveness that the Democrats didn't think through fully when they touted it, and this is where the problem lies.  Let me tackle a few of those now. 

Recently, university education has been declining in value - the exorbitant tuition rates in many prestigious universities are being utilized to finance weird ideas and instruction.  For example, take a look at the pro-Hamas protests happening on the campuses of prestigious schools like Columbia and Yale.  These kids, who are getting fully-funded Federal aid for their education, are literally chanting "death to America" and are assaulting Jews, Catholics, and others because they are so indoctrinated with hatred and bad interpretations of history that they are essentially educated fools. In my opinion, students like that don't even deserve the honor of being students, because many of them are spoiled, privileged White kids with too much time on their hands and they would rather be supporting actual terrorism than actually trying to apply themselves to the education that many of them are being paid thousands of dollars to receive.  They have their Palestinian and "gay pride" flags, their pierced noses, their flourescent green and purple hair, and some are dudes dressed up like girls and vice versa.  They get violent with people who disagree with them, and many of them are so strung out on marijuana and other substances that they barely attend classes.  This is one thing some Republican officials see that makes them really skeptical of total student loan forgiveness, and that is a valid concern.  If these kids are to go to school and get financial aid, they need to be vetted in some way - they need to maintain an acceptable minimum GPA, they need to actually attend the classes they are registered for, and in all honesty, I would say implement a comprehensive evaluation at the end of their programs to gauge what they actually learned.  If they cannot demonstrate these basic things, then they should be denied student loans in the first place and then forced to pay whatever they did receive back in a certain amount of time. If they are foreign students on a student visa, they should not be getting taxpayer-subsidized aid at all, as their own governments should be taking care of them.  Years ago, when I was an undergraduate, none of this would have been necessary as the levels of entitlement were not there like they are in this generation now.  So, on this, I say there should be absolutely stricter standards for receiving Federal aid, and if we did that perhaps a more focused student population could really be educated at our universities in this country.  And, that now leads to a related issue.

The price of tuition at many higher-profile universities has been astronomical, and unfortunately the fault of this is lenient Federal student loans.  The universities make a killing off this, and they have intentionally inflated their tuitions to assure the maximum benefit.  A similar thing happens in the rental markets in many states such as Maryland - the rental laws favor oftentimes the property owners over tenants who have to lease homes, and they have no rent increase regulations (called rent caps) in place to make sure affordable housing is accessible to everyone.  Universities (especially the so-called "Ivy Leagues," which frankly are overrated these days) do the same thing with tuition prices.  By jacking up university tuitions, it forces many students who otherwise would not be able to attend college to borrow huge amounts of money just to stay enrolled, and that is a scandal.  So, then students graduate with this huge debt, but then they are not given the job they hoped to have with this education.  It is perhaps time to call into practice an accountability system for universities to disclose the reasons for their tuition rates, and excessive rates need to be eliminated.  Then, the career counseling centers of said universities should take a more active role in helping graduates get the jobs they deserved on par with the education they received.  Likewise, curriculums need to be evaluated, as too many professors act more like activists than educators, and thus is diminishes the quality of the education received.  If some things were instituted like that, it would make student loans a less volatile issue in public discourse.  That is just one man's humble opinion though.  

Another aspect of student loan forgiveness entails those who have been out of school for years but they have personal struggles financially.  These are middle-aged people who, despite their achievements, are being passed over for career opportunities and often have to resort to food stamps, Section 8 housing, and other government programs just to survive.  In addition to struggling to just make their rent or mortgage payments every month, they also have to face a huge financial burden of their student loans from 20+ years in the past for an education which they are not being recognized for.  This is a scandal, but thankfully not all is lost.  Aside from the recent student loan forgiveness proposals, there is a good Federal program called IBR, or Income-Based Repayment.  Once a borrower's financial situation is evaluated, an affordable solution is put in place to help them pay their liability, and in many cases a few years of consistent payments can get them a permanent forgiveness of their loans.  Fortunately, I don't hear a lot of opposition to this on either side, and it is a good program to have.  And, in a sense, it is actually loan forgiveness.  In many cases, IBR payments are even $0 per month, and that is even a better situation for a borrower that may be really down on their luck - a friend of mine who ended up in a homeless shelter despite doing very well in college and also being a Navy veteran was recently blessed in this way, and she deserved that.  And, that leads to my point about student loan forgiveness.

I am of course for student loan forgiveness, as it would be a personal benefit for me.  But, it doesn't need to be a universal program that forgives everyone's student loans.  For instance, if you are a doctor, lawyer, or a corporate executive making hundreds of thousands annually in take-home pay, you are in a position where you are able to pay your loans, and you should accept that responsibility.  Forgiveness programs should never extend to those individuals.  Likewise, if you screwed off in college as a student, didn't apply yourself, and you got a job based on nepotism or affirmative action rather than the merit of your skillset, you can pay for yourself too - you don't deserve benefits.  The ones who deserve to have these benefits are the hard-working underemployed or unemployed graduates who despite all their achievement and personal value are denied opportunities.  They are not being paid the salaries they deserve nor are they even taken seriously for what they can bring to the table.  Loan forgiveness should be an option for them.  This is why although Biden's idea for student loan debt cancellation is probably the only decent thing he is doing, but it needs some kinks worked out in order to make it more feasible and less of a burden on the American taxpayer.  Not only that, but students at community colleges, vo-tech schools, and apprenticeships should be eligible for other benefits as well - while they are not traditional university programs, they do serve a more practical purpose and promising talent among students in those schools needs to be recognized and rewarded.  That means other funding options besides loans should be implemented.  If Biden had half a brain, maybe he could have figured this out, and if the Republicans were not so against everything, they could actually listen to the concerns of real people and perhaps a solution could be reached.  It remains to be seen whether or not this proposal would be seriously considered, so we wait.

There are other good ideas that could be implemented - homelessness could be resolved in many cities if they would allow private benefactors to provide housing - the tiny house idea is a wonderful solution - as well as not punishing good-hearted individuals who are trying to help these people.  In the latter category, look at what a crooked local (and Democrat) politician named Jack Siler did to a good-hearted old man named Arnold Abbott in Florida a few years back.  Abbott had a vocation to provide hot meals for homeless people, but the crook Siler punished him for it with fines and I believe even jail.  That is ridiculous, especially when Democrats like him take over luxury hotels to house illegal immigrants in New York while many veterans and other American citizens are forced onto the streets.  Republicans are not much better, as a sort of quasi-Malthusian mindset possesses them which presupposes that every homeless person is a worthless bum and thus needs to be eradicated from society.  In reality, no two homeless people are the same - like that kid in the supermarket I saw yesterday, they often don't deserve to be homeless yet they are due to the craziness of American society.  And, both sides are equally at fault for different reasons.  That must change.  

Any rate, those are some thoughts today, and I may expand on this later as much more could be said.  Have a good remainder of your week, and see you next time. 

The Most Familiar Sin

 I wasn't actually planning on a second writing this week, but I got an urge to do this based on some sudden inspiration.  This is a mini Bible study of sorts, as it does deal with a particular theological issue, and it does merit some attention.  Therefore, let's settle in and learn a new perspective on something so familiar we often take it for granted. 

The Ten Commandments (also known as the Decalogue) is one of the "Four Pillars" of Catholic faith. It is so important that the Catechism of the Catholic Church has 25% of its content devoted to it.  Many of us know these by heart, and in all honesty, they are just common-sense moral law that does benefit us if it is followed.  One of the most interesting of these commands is found in Exodus 20:16, and it is commandment that forbids "bearing false witness."  Now, if you grew up as I did, you more than likely have the understanding that this is talking about lying.  While telling lies is definitely a sin and not a good thing to get into, in reality this command has more context than that interpretation, and this is where we are going now. 

First, let us look at the verse in its full context - the whole sentence is "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."  A regular old lie doesn't have to be directed against anyone else - many of us are guilty at some point of lying about ourselves, either by bragging about things we didn't accomplish or denying some other misdoing we may be guilty of.  And, yes, we all have done that whether we admit it or not.  It is still wrong, but it doesn't quite meet the criteria of "false witness" against anyone else.  So, what does it mean then?  Let us unpack this a little.

The Decalogue consists of two sets of guidelines/commands.  Five are directed toward God, and the remaining five are directed toward how we relate to one another.  This is why Jesus expanded the Shm'a of Jewish faith in such a way as to more or less be inclusive of the entirety of the Decalogue.  We see that in his exchange in Matthew 22:36, when I believe he was doing a teaching moment with his disciples. One of them asked him in verse 36 what the greatest commandment was, and he answers in verse 37 with the Shm'a - "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." He calls this in verse 38 the first and greatest commandment.  But, then in verse 39 he adds something else - "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Jesus was not proposing anything radical here, but rather he gave a very succinct summary of the Decalogue to his audience, and he further stresses that these two things are upon which all the law and prophets rest (v. 40).  In the older Anglican liturgy based upon the 1928 Book of Common Prayer, this is included at the beginning of the Anglican Mass and I believe at one time it was also part of the Tridentine Latin Mass found in the 1962 Roman Missal as well (feel free to fact-check that if you disagree, as maybe I am mistaken on that, but I am almost certain it is in the old Mass somewhere).  In those liturgical texts, it is called the Summary of the Law, and it adds a catechetical dimension to the liturgy.  In addition to being a summary of divine law though, it is also a summary of human life - our actions toward God are interconnected with how we relate to others.  Based on that, the Decalogue names several things that we are commanded not to do - rebelling against parental authority, murdering someone, stealing from others, coveting what others have and trying to essentially play "keeping up with the Joneses," and of course bearing false witness against someone else.   Again, looking at it this way, the context goes beyond just fibbing about eating cookies before dinner or accusing the dog of eating your homework - this affects someone else directly.  After really thinking over this, I came to the conclusion that the broader meaning of this is not restricted to just lying.  Rather, it is more destructive activity that is directed against someone other than the self.  And, that is where we are going now. 

There are verbal violations of personhood that can be damaging to another person if they are committed, and some even can carry consequences of civil law because they are so serious.  They include gossip, defamation of character (slander, libel, etc.), and stereotyping and profiling others based on externals like race or ethnicity.  One example of this has to do with how I was raised up until my early twenties, and it unfortunately was clothed in "Christian" lingo to justify nasty habits.  Back in the day, many of the Pentecostal churches I knew of then had what were called "prayer groups" or "prayer circles," and although there were many sincere people who really had the heart to intercede for others, unfortunately what more than often happened was that these groups would be controlled by individuals - usually bored housewives who were members of the particular congregation - who had selfish motives.  The common characterization of such people was either "old bitties" or "cackling hens," and oftentimes the "prayer group" ended up being a gossip club in which certain of these people would delight in something bad happening to other church members or people in the community.  Unfortunately, some of my own relatives engaged in this nonsense, and they thought that somehow they were doing "God's work" when in reality they just wanted to defame and gossip about others, often bookending it as "please pray for so-and-so..." and they would then launch into a juicy discussion of the intimate details of their targeted victims.  It is one reason why many people would not attend those particular churches, despite many good people also being part of them.  This was a classic example of what "bearing false witness" means, and unfortunately, they were aiding often in the spiritual isolation of people and imperiling souls of folks who had serious needs and were hurting.  What often was worse were the pastors - some pastors were blissfully ignorant of what was going on, and others actively engaged in this sin with their erring church members because those members had money or influence.  The trust it betrayed to the communities where this took place often caused many small churches to close as people began to catch onto the slander and gossip emanating from so-called "good church folk." This was not necessarily limited to Pentecostal churches either - it affected churches of all denominational identities then.  Given that gossip is a verbal sin against another person, it is the true definition of false witness.  Another example is far more insidious though, and I want to get into that now.

A couple of years back, there was a young lady on a social media platform that befriended me, and for a while she seemed OK.  However, despite being a devout Catholic, this young lady also delved into apocalyptic conspiracies as well as being quasi-charismatic in the way she presented herself.  To be fair, this lady had some trauma caused by things in her past, and she used religion as a sort of defense mechanism to supposedly protect her against anyone she felt was "toxic," and in doing so she claimed some prophetic gift or something.  I was all too familiar with this from my Pentecostal days, and in all honesty she was starting to be a source of concern.  On one particular day - I think it was around my birthday or something - this girl was talking about a particular Ukrainian Catholic parish I was familiar with as I had visited it many times years ago when we lived in that particular area.  As an innocent question, I asked her if this was the parish located on such-and-such street in that particular city.  The reaction I got from her on that was totally off the rails - she accused me of sabotaging the church, endangering people, etc., but then she got really personal by trying to "prophesy" that she felt I had some "hidden sin" and it was just so outrageous I had to block her on social media.  This girl, in a defensive and aggressive manner claiming to "protect" the members of that parish, claimed a level of spirituality that many saints canonized by the Church neither claimed to possess or rarely exercised.  By exalting herself like that, she tried to use religious justification to defame my character, and in doing so she engaged in the sin of bearing false witness against me - I had witnessed her doing that to others as well, and to be fair to her, she had some psychological issues I believe that drove this behavior, but still it was detrimental to others. The conclusion I got from this was being thankful that God was God and she wasn't - using charismatic gifts (which I have to say I don't believe she genuinely possessed either) to manipulate and defame others is another serious sin - witchcraft.  I now want to touch on that briefly before I wrap up this conversation. 

After being involved in the Pentecostal tradition for many years before I finally came home to the Church, I can tell you I have seen it all - the crazy, the bizarre, and even also some genuine moves of God.  There are some individuals in that tradition - and they are among more mystical Catholics as well - who are presented with a problem.  Can one commit an outright sin in the name of God, especially when claiming some special "gift?"  The answer is clearly no. Scripture builds upon Scripture, and no part of Scripture will be contradictory to the rest. That is why when people have these "gifts" but use them in ways contrary to Scripture and Church teaching, they have one of three problems.  One, it could be possible that a demonic spirit is counterfeiting the gift.  Two, it could be the person is utilizing a supposed gift as a weapon.  Three, the person is genuinely confused and may believe they have a supernatural gift when in reality there may be other explanations.  The true test of a "gift" though is whether or not its manifestation lines up with Church teaching and Scripture - if there is something off about it, then it must be rejected and ignored before it is used to cause trouble.  Many, many things alleged as "words from God" or "discernment of spirits" have in reality been the sin of false witness against someone else, and when a supposed gift - real or not - is used vindicatory to manipulate either a person or others against a person, that is a form of witchcraft and is no different than necromancy or gazing at crystal balls or tarot cards.  There is no place in the Body of Christ for that garbage, and if it is a problem in a church, it needs to be removed quickly.  The perpetrator of such behavior should then be confronted, and in many cases may need some sort of counseling as there is an underlying issue which facilitates the behavior too.  On that, let me give some final thoughts.

Bearing false witness is the deliberate defamation, slander, and gossip of one person against another, and as such it is a sin against one's neighbor and violates the command to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Therefore, while lying is bad, and can even be a component part of false witness, lying is not totally synonymous with bearing false witness, as that entails a greater sin against humanity.  May we watch what we say about others, and to use a well-worn cliche which video creator Dhar Mann uses all the time, we need to be careful not to judge a book by its cover.  If we don't know anything about a person's life, we should keep our mouths shut until we can understand their situation better.  Thank you for allowing me to share today. 

Life Challenges

 Yesterday at Mass, our priest Fr. Grassi was recounting the story of St. Nicholas Owen in his homily.  For those not familiar with him, he was a martyr during the English Reformation due to the Puritanism of Cromwell persecuting Catholics, and what he was most noted for was constructing secret hideaways for persecuted priests called "priest holes."  A priest hole was a secret room that was hidden from view by anything such as a board that served as a door, and its purpose was to keep priests safe until the danger of being arrested by Cromwell's goons passed.  Owen constructed many of these, and some have still not been found and each was different - in many cases, a secret chamber was constructed even within a secret chamber for an extra measure of security.  What made this guy more interesting was the fact he was of short stature - it was quite possible, like St. John the Dwarf many centuries earlier, that St. Nicholas Owen had achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism.  Like many of these saint homilies that both Fr. Grassi and our deacon, Dave Galvin, present on different Sundays of the year, it aroused curiosity for me and I decided to research it more which is how I found out about this information.  Had St. Nicholas Owen lived during World War II, I would guess he could have even saved many Jews who were targeted by the demonic hordes of SS in the Third Reich - the attic hideaways that are documented in Ann Frank's diary as well as Corrie ten Boom's The Hiding Place bear remarkable similarity to St. Nicholas's priest holes as a matter of fact.  

One of St. Nicholas Owen's priest holes at Harvington Hall Mansion in Britain, with a board as an entrance.

Fr. Grassi's discussion of St. Nicholas Owen got me thinking about something.  With the increasing hostility toward people of faith - Catholics, Protestants, and Jews are all targets of secularism - perhaps we need to face the realization that for our own safety we may need to take precautions against our own government.  With Merrick Garland issuing a crazy order from Biden's DOJ to spy on Catholic Masses as well as targeting concerned parents last year as "terrorists" for speaking against some implemented things at school boards, we are in a state of war against the secular Left which is trying to impose itself as a new religion essentially - a weird religion that denies the reality of many things, and it has the ironic name of "wokeness."  Although the vast majority of the American public is against this garbage, it is still being imposed upon us by elitists who think we are all idiots or something.  In reality, they are the true fools, and one day they will find that out if they don't have a conversion of heart before it is too late.  Will we get to the point of having to utilize an upgraded version of St. Nicholas Owen's priest holes, not only for our clergy but even for ourselves?   That remains to be seen, but one thing for sure is the fact that we live in a fallen world and challenges will come at us.  As I write this, I have a very serious issue I am facing that I am trusting for God to work out, and while deep within myself I am somehow confident everything will work out, the fact that such a frightening obstacle looms over me is still at times a bit frustrating to deal with.  It just means we have to trust God more, and the example of St. Nicholas is a good reminder of that. 

A few years ago, I had some very interesting dreams involving tornadoes.  In one, I was standing in my doorway, and in the sky overhead a vortex formed directly above me.  However, despite how frightening it was, I was never even touched by it.  In a similar dream, I was in a vehicle on a road with my mother and my late great-grandmother when directly ahead of us this huge funnel cloud - I mean enormous too, as the thing had to be 20 miles in diameter - was spinning and spinning.  As scary as it was, it never touched us.  To give a more apt description of what it looked like, you could not see anything around this thing for miles, and it was black and very evil-looking.  Unlike many funnel clouds though, this one was different as it emanated from the ground instead of from the atmosphere, and there was just something really sinister about it.  Yet. we managed to get home and safely inside the house, and eventually this thing came at our house, but instead of hitting the house, it just brushed past a living room window and never touched us.  Whenever you see a whirlwind in a dream, it does mean facing something in life that is potentially scary, but if the tornado never touches you, it means you are being protected.  That was the case in both of those dreams.  In yet another dream, I recall being in this house - on the outside was a courtyard, and the front yard ended at a beachfront which was right on the sea.  To my right of the front door - which had beautiful French doors on it and a panoramic view - there was a canal that passed under the yard itself possibly by way of an installed culvert.  All of a sudden, a large tidal wave came, and the canal also flooded over, but it never reached where I was at the front door.  I saw this dream when I had it as being very similar to the tornado dreams - the storms of life can be overwhelming and intense, but despite that I was protected from their destruction.   I am a strong believer of symbols in dreams, and that God speaks through them in various ways.  Not every dream is a message from God - many are just the mind's way of coping with stress, and I notice I have more vivid dreams when I am facing difficulties and feel that is the reason.  But, when a detail stands out like that, there is a message in there somewhere.  Recalling these dreams as well as Fr. Grassi's homily about St. Nicholas Owen yesterday got me to thinking about a lot.  Life challenges - we all have them, had them, or will face them inevitably at some point - are reminders as to why we rely on God for our help, and all of this is why I am reflecting on this today. 

If you are a Christian, two things can be true at once when you face challenges in life.  First, despite what may be happening, there are times when deep inside you a reassurance is there that everything is somehow going to work out.  So, if one has that assurance, the idea is to carry on with your regular duties and responsibilities and not let the circumstances sidetrack or derail you.  Second, we as human beings are driven in our daily existence by a concept called time - time entails deadlines, and as a result if you are anything like me you need something concrete to work with so you can plan and execute what needs to be done.  The frustrating aspect of this is that often you are not driven by your own timetables - bills are due on a certain date, you need to have that work or school project done by a deadline, etc.  Others dictate that timing, in other words.  So, when your rent or mortgage comes due, and you don't have the money to cover it, and thus you begin to feel the pressure, it causes one to do many things.  If you are a Christian, it adds an aspect to your prayer regimen in that you start to get frustrated with God.  This is where the "fleece" comes in for instance - this is an idea drawn from Gideon's story in Judges 6-8 when he wants to be sure he is doing the right thing so he sticks a lamb fleece out overnight to determine what direction he needs to take.  While the "fleece" idea is a more recent faith act inspired by Pentecostalism, there is a sort of validity to it.  The idea of a "fleece" is not to test or manipulate God (or at least it isn't supposed to be) but rather to seek guidance and direction for decisions.  This is something I admit I do a lot, and even as I write this, I have three of those I am waiting for answers on. That is one mechanism we use to get God's attention.  Another is bargaining - you can get to a point of frustration where you feel like your prayers are not being effective, so you essentially threaten to stop praying unless God acts in some way.  Admittedly, I have done this many times, and it is only natural to feel that frustration because we are only human, and we have limits.  Is it the right thing to do?  I don't know - God has not struck me dead with lightning or anything for doing it over the years, so he may understand our feelings better than we give him credit for.  Yet another coping mechanism is just blowing up and getting upset with God - yes, I am guilty of this.  I need to be honest and say that I am not proud of the shouting matches I direct at God on occasions (thankfully they are rare though), and I have said and done things in anger with God that frankly I have to apologize later for once I cool off.  Again, I think God understands us better than we do ourselves, and if he had a physical presence when we get like that, I can also imagine him saying "OK, do you feel better now?" in a semi-sarcastic tone like a parent when a cranky child throws a fit. Again, we are human beings, not divinity in ourselves, and thus we will have moments of weakness and there is only so much we can take before we break, and thankfully God knows that too.  While many of us are ashamed of what we may do later when we lose our temper with God, the old adage "God is a big boy and can take what we dish out" rings true. The ultimate human temper tantrum over history against God resulted in the Passion of Christ, but he resurrected a couple of days later and even forgave many who treated him that way.  God is holy and sovereign, it is true, but he also created us, so he knows us better than we know ourselves.  Therefore, if in a moment of weakness, you throw a fit at God for not responding when you need him too, there are two things to remember.  First, often that is between you and him - many of us do that in the privacy of our personal prayers and no one else will know about it, nor do they need to.  Secondly, like any relationship, once you cool off you will understand you had a weak moment, and if you are like me, you profusely apologize to God for getting angry with him, and he forgives us.  Then, we get up, dust the dirt off our knees, and move forward.  One thing I have also noticed as well is that once it gets to the point where one snaps, God is on the threshold of giving the breakthrough we seek, and in a way that may be a good thing then.  Anyway, hope that is encouraging to someone - you are not alone if that is you. 

Thank you for allowing me to share today again, and remember, God understands us better than we do ourselves, even with our weaknesses (which we all have).