Goodbye to a Dear Friend and Neighbor

Ellen Haslacker (1937-2017)

It is one of the great blessings in life when you have a neighbor that becomes not only a close friend, but also practically like family.  Over the years, I have lived around a great diversity of people - some were decent, others a royal pain in the backside - but on occasion there comes that special person that really endears themselves to you, and they become an important part of your life.  Back when I was a teenager in Kirby, WV, one such person was a lady who just loved life and hardly ever had a frown on her face, even when she was not feeling her best.  Ellen Haslacker was truly one of a kind, and on Easter Sunday I got the unfortunate news that she had passed away.  I want to spend a little time today talking about her a little, as she truly has had a great impact on many people who knew her.

The first time we encountered Ellen was back in the beginning of 1982, when she and her family - her late husband Hubert (1935-2009), and their youngest daughter Teresa - moved about two doors down from us. The Haslackers had lived there for a few months until another neighbor, Luann Campbell, formally introduced us sometime around May of that year.  Of course, up to that time I had seen their daughter Teresa in school - she was a grade behind me but we had the same teacher, as at the little Grassy Lick School there in Kirby each teacher taught two grades.  I was actually quite enchanted with Teresa - to me she was the cutest thing I had seen, and I really developed a crush on her.  However, the crush never really went anywhere, as I was a shy, introverted pre-teen then and a combination of being scared of rejection and of her daddy Hubert (a BIG guy incidentally!) who had a no-boys policy in place regarding his daughter's social life, I chose to be respectful and Teresa and I became close friends later.  After finally getting introduced to the family, we began to visit more - usually I visited, as Mother was often too lazy to venture outside the house.  It was soon also evident after meeting the Haslackers that we had more in common with them than we thought though, and that played a big part in our friendship too.

Ellen was, interesting enough, born in Rowlesburg, a town I was very familiar with.  Much of my own roots could be traced back to there, and about 3 years after meeting the Haslackers I would be actually living back there myself again.  Her mother Ocie Thomas (1908-2000) was a devout little Pentecostal lady who attended a little Oneness Pentecostal church in Rowlesburg, and she often visited Ellen too and we got to know her well also.  She had also come from a fairly large family (she had 10 siblings!) and her father Carl Thomas was also a good buddy back in the day to Walter Masters, who was the late husband of Myrt, the little lady Mom and I looked after in Terra Alta during my high school years.  With us coming from just south of Rowlesburg in Parsons, this forged a common identity of "sense of place" with Ellen, as we all came from similar backgrounds.  At this time, all of Ellen's siblings save her little sister Margie (who still lives in Preston County) have also passed on, and for the most part that generation in their family has went onto better reward.   

We lived nextdoor to the Haslackers for about two years, until we all eventually moved in different directions - Ellen and Hubert settled eventually in nearby Buffalo Hollow, just north of Romney, and Mom and I moved with my grandmother Elsie and step-grandfather Lonnie in August 1985 first to Wardensville, WV, and then later that year to Rowlesburg.   After everyone scattered to the winds, we still kept in touch with the Haslackers for many years on occasion, and the last time I recall talking to Ellen was approximately 10 years ago I believe.  At that time, Ellen had begun to have a few health issues - she had suffered a lot from both colitis and severe migraine headaches even back when we all were in Kirby - and in time after Hubert's passing in 2009 she eventually lived with her next-oldest daughter Julie for a while near Keyser until eventually being placed in convalescence in Romney.  I actually regret not keeping more in touch with her in recent years, but unfortunately life and its demands makes one forget important things.  However, Ellen has always been a special part of my own story, and she will be both fondly remembered as well as sorely missed.

A few of those fond memories that I have of Ellen centered upon our Kirby years.  Ellen was a great cook, and it was not unusual to occasionally have a midday meal over at her house - she made a decent fried chicken, and also I learned how to make homemade potato chips from her.  It was not uncommon for us to visit and chat for hours, and Ellen was almost like a second mother to me personally.  And, she was always a fun-loving lady - she loved to laugh, and almost like a teenager herself she could be an active participant in pranks directed at some of the town drunks that pestered us.  On one occasion, one of those drunks named Vernon Bowen came over to our house, and while he was preoccupied Ellen and I decided to "whip up" a concoction when he asked for a drink.  To this day I don't know what all we put in that, but it involved Pepsi, vanilla, cayenne pepper, cooking oil, baking soda, and God only knows what else.  Vernon, being too drunk to even know what was going on, drank that mess and thought it was the best drink he ever had, so he bought us a case of Pepsis for our trouble, which Ellen and I divvied up between us.  What was even funnier about this was that when he was walking home that night, he actually fell off the Grassy Lick bridge into the creek!  On another occasion we spiked another drunk's Skoal tobacco with hot peppers, and that was a hoot too - Ellen was good at scheming, that is for sure!  But, the next story was probably one of the funniest yet.

Mom and Ellen were also pretty close, and Ellen kind of looked out for Mom as well, due to the fact Mom drank a lot and could do some bone-headed things back then.  On one occasion, there was a Fourth of July party down at the local American Legion hall, and Mom, being a veteran and member, was invited and did attend.  They had kegs of beer there, and earlier in the day Ellen told Mom to let her know when the party was over, as she had some water jugs she'd give Mom to take home some of the leftover libations.  Well, the party wound down at around 2-3AM that morning, and although Mother was too sloshed to remember much else, she did remember about Ellen's offer of water jugs, and so in the wee hours of the morning she is banging on Ellen's bedroom window, and in a hissed whisper she asks "Ellen, do you have the jugs ready!"  Ellen was, like most other normal people in town, deep in sleep, and in a half-awake, half-aware voice Ellen mumbles in response, "Forget the jugs!"  (that is not exactly what Ellen said, as I cleaned it up - she actually said another word with an F that would be inappropriate to say here, and it's understandable because when you are half-asleep one says things, but it was all still funny and we all got a good laugh later). Mom, somehow seeing that Ellen was not going to be getting up anytime soon, resorted to commandeering a large trash can somewhere and filling it with the free beer, and somehow she managed to drag that thing home.  That story is still classic to this day. 

As you can see, life with Ellen as a neighbor was never boring and always fun, and when we moved away in 1985, I really missed those times.   As mentioned though, I also had a huge crush on her daughter Teresa, and Ellen told me years later that she actually was secretly hoping Teresa and I would eventually get together and one day get married, but that of course never happened.  Teresa eventually found the guy she loved and had a nice family with him, and in 1992 I married Barb and we have been happily married for over 25 years, as that ultimately was God's plan for us.  But, Ellen was always still a great part of our lives, and she'll be greatly missed.  At her passing, she left four kids behind - her oldest Windy from a previous marriage prior to Hubert who lives in Ohio, and her three kids with Hubert - Robert, her oldest son, who now lives in California; Julie, her second daughter who lives with her husband in Burlington, WV, and of course Teresa and her husband Sonny who live in Romney.  According to the obituary, it looks like Ellen was even a great-great grandmother too, as possibly a couple of Windy's grandkids produced those.  

Our loss on this earth and in this life of Ellen is heaven's gain, as there is little doubt that Ellen was a person of faith and she became more so as she got older.  So, the good news is that one day we can see her again.  Rest eternal, Ellen, and may Light Perpetual shine upon you.